Lan Xichen felt like his heart was being pelted at. Jiang Cheng often flinched from touch. He could tell that something had happened, something beyond death had happened to him. He had suffered. But it neither the time and place to ask anything. He was in no position to ask either. The ribbon he presented the younger with seemed to been a time in another life when things were peaceful, things were hopeful, when both of them were different people.
Yet, as he looked at the retreating back of Sect Leader Jiang, he knew he still felt the same, standing before the man presenting his gift like a shy maiden, heart quivering and mind doubting, if not more. Time passed like water trickling into a well, too slow, as he waited for Master Jiang to recover, to come back to be the man he was but the time was also too quick, the well was full and there was no going back for the water that had trickled down.
He realised that the man left behind after the news of Master Wei's death was much like his little brother. Hopeless and broken, working with the pieces of himself that had been left after all good had been taken away from him. Mechanically, he keeps working, he doesn;t scowl as much, he never laughs, there is only a small frown between his brows, that never leaves, never rests, a constant ache in Lan Xichen's heart.
He feels the urge to reach out, press his fingers between his brows and pull them apart, smoothen the tension like a constant mark on his soul. He come to realise that Sect Leader Jiang was different person than Master Jiang.
There was still warmth as he descended from the sky one day, an expression of pure delight. With such open happiness his eyes shown that Lan xichen was knocked out of his feet before he really was knock back. Sect Leader Jiang's arms were around his frame as his hands pressed into his back and warmth flooded his body, rendering him speechless and motionless.
"Jiang Cheng." he had never spoke the name again after their first encounter a month ago.
"I got my home back." his words whispered past his hair to his skin. The words themselves, along with the closeness, made him react. He threw his arms around the smaller frame and crushed him close.
"Congratulations." he called back in utter joy. He'd never forget this day, he thought as he realised Jiang Cheng stiffened. But he only crushed the other harder into his chest.
"I am so happy for you." he added before loosening his arms.
Jiang Cheng shuffled away, "I apologise for my rudeness Zewu Jun."
"Not at all. What are friends for if not for sharing sorrows and happiness." Lan Xichen calmed his heart as he replied with some composure. He could still feel the warmth of the person pressed against his body even if the said was standing away.
Jiang Cheng smiled, a benevolent smile, no more innocence reflected in them but it was a smile nonetheless.
"It must be my lucky day to get a hug and smile." Lan Xichen was beyond delighted. His yearning heart that often could only look at the retreating back of this man or the concentrated eyes on the battle, not to mention the scowl got so much more to hold on to, just for himself. Nothing could steal his thunder today.
"I will not have to trouble you with my stay anymore." Lan Xichen never said nothing could dampen his mood though. He smiled, a bit bitterly.
"It was never trouble."
-------
Jiang Cheng could not have peace at home. He had not even a full day in Lotus Pier before the news arrived.
Now here he stood back to back with the one jade he was always glad to see. Now seeing him at the battlefield was a different sight altogether, as if the angel had descended to delt a punishing hand. There was anger in his eyes, there was a moment of satisfaction, just a calm and peaceful expression as he swung Shuoyue across people like cutting through water, with force that did not match his face and with a heavy hand that made even Jiang Cheng shudder.
Jiang Cheng only gave the person a small part of his initial attention on arrival for he too was swept away in the swarm of soldiers and corpses that surrounded him... them. In that moment, he could only share the burden of this man to not be overwhelmed by the enemy, not a word was uttered between them as they dove and struck around each other. Jiang Cheng made sure that he had ZeWu Jun's back while he knew the other had his.
Only when the swarm had lightened and they were fighting one on one did he hear the melodious sound.
"Are you not surprised to see me Sect Leader Jiang?" Jiang Cheng grimaced at the title, he was really hoping for that rare utterance of 'Jiang Cheng'.
"Yeah! Don't you have somewhere better to be?" Jiang Cheng was not necessarily snapping, he was glad to see ZeWu Jun but he'd rather let himself be cut by the enemy than say the words.
He heard the man say something but it was lost in the clank of swords and once again, there was silence. It was only at the end of the battle that Jiang Cheng had the momentary glance at ZeWu Jun following his sworn brother for a discussion before a disciple flows in with news of his urgent need at Lotus Pier. He swallowed the tuck in his chest and the tiredness of his bones, thanked the heavens and Baoshan Saran for his new, more powerful core to be able to stand back to back with the retreating man, before turning to face the Jiang disciple.
They had found some more Wen soldiers hiding amongst his disciples. His absence had given them a chance to try and take the sect seal and the disciples were prepared to capture. Sect Leader's Jiang's absence was the perfect bait to flesh out conspirators.
For a moment, Jiang Cheng looked to where the retreating backs were no more, turned around and flew away.
------
Jiang Cheng sits in his room. In closed quarters, now that he had free time, he was suddenly afraid to be alone and free. He had no right to be. His eyes roamed about the room which was just the same yet not so much.
There were his own robes and table and bed but on them emblems of sect leaders, paper work for signing and sheets of the highest qualities. His parents had raised him to be humble and thrifty. They had forced these notions into his skin and drilled it into his head. He had asked the staff not to change anything in his room, he had refused his father's or mother's quarters and kept on living, mostly sleeping in the court, instead of his room. They really did not change anything, except everything felt different with slight shift in details that marked him as a sect leader.
He did not have time to think, how to be one. What it meant to be a sect leader. He had been thrown into an upheaval world and needing to bury the dead, a proper farewell to his and many other families, establish the trades back, create alliances and strongholds for defence and offences. He had never had time to think.
Now, his eyes fell on something that forced him to think. When he had had the honor of receiving this box, he had felt unworthy and small, now he felt even more so in the presence of the other. He couldn't help remember the warm embrace he had thrown himself into. For just that moment, he forgot that he had no one, then, big arms and bigger sleeves had engulfed him, striking sense into his brain like Zidan.
Even now, he blushed harder, remembering. He could keep that one moment close to heart. He let his thumb glide over the box, kept the jade pendant in his lapels and opened the lid.
His heart threatened to break out of his chest and fingers quivered as shivers ran down his spine.
What is the meaning of this? Was it a platonic gift of friendship or was the intimacy of the gift meant what he thought it meant?
Jiang Cheng touched the soft material with wide eyes, placed the box back in its place and let the shades of purple and pink flow down like a waterfall. He lifted it to the eyes and stood there thinking of a time long back, seemed like ages ago when he was back in Cloud Recess, his only worry was to look for Wei Wuxian of he did not return before the last bell toll. An intimate gift at that time? Had it really been a token of friendship or...
Two thoughts ran over and over in succession; does it mean what I think it means or is it platonic and it is only I, desperate for affection, that wants it to mean more?
-------
Jiang Cheng looked at the letter in his hands, looked at the box in his other hand and sat in a moment of pause for long.
"Should I send it? Should I not?"
A disciple knocked on the door, "We found Wen Chao."
Abandoning everything on the table, Jiang Cheng flew out of the room in rage.
------
Lan Xichen stood at the steps of Nie Sect home, the Unclean Realm and looked to the sky.
"Xichen. Are you waiting for Young Master Lan?" his worn brother asked him as he noticed Lan Xichen had paused.
Had it been anyone else, he would have smiled and avoided the answer but this was Da Ge, "When are other Sect Leaders arriving? When is Sect Leader Jiang arriving?"
Sect Leader Nie stepped back, placed a heavy hand on his shoulder and led him up the steps without answering his questions. He wasn't the most affectionate person Lan Xichen knew but just like Jiang Cheng, he was different from any of his acquaintances he had ever made. He was glad he had come to know Da Ge for the man who treated him like his own younger brother, scolding him when necessary and protecting him like his own too. Young Master Nie was lucky to have such a brother.
The only thing about him was his temperament which spoke in his next sentence, "If he had seen you gift and not responded to it, it is time to back out Sect Leader Lan. The young Sect Leader has enough going on in his life, he might not be ready for it."
The formal title quieted his thoughts. He was right but Lan xichen couldn't help but look forward to the meeting. There was no way that hug would be erased from his soul.
"I will have someone take you to your guest quarters. Rest. The conference is in the evening."
Without a word, Lan Xichen followed the attendant.
-----
Lan Xichen really did rest, which was rare for him. He rarely ever had a rest ever since the Wen had invaded the cultivation world. Every moment was a threat to himself or someone. To be able to sleep was a special feat.
He smiled as he rose, made himself presentable and exited the room, only to surprisingly come face to face with a man he least expected.
"Sect Leader Lan." the other man bowed first, composing himself away from the smile that was being directed towards his brother and Lan Xichen felt his breathing hitch. This was too unexpected, too sudden.
"Go ahead." he whispered to his brother. Wei Wuxian bowed and hurried away, perhaps seeking Lan Xichen's brother, or so he thought.
"Are you heading for the conference Sect Leader Lan? It is not time yet."
Lan Xichen composed himself, knowing he had been staring too long. He smiled, bowed back and a flash of memory where the other asked him not to bow. He looked at the scowl forming on his face looking at Lan Xichen's joined hands and stopped.
"I was going to find my sworn brother."
"If it is not urgent, I have something for Sect Leader Lan, if..." Lan xichen could see Jiang Cheng was avoiding his eyes, "you'll accompany me."
Lan xichen was struck speechless. Have something? For me? He wants my company?
With barely any composure, responded, "Of course."
The frown between Jiang Cheng's brows seemed to decrease before he turned around and started off in the direction he had come from. Lan Xichen notes that his steps were quick though he had no problem keeping up. He would have intended to make small talk but the silence wasn't uneasy, it was purposeful.
"Wait here." Jiang Cheng had turned into a room abruptly, leaving Lan Xichen a little confused. When he stepped out of the room, there was a box in his hand, about the size of a whole hand. It's decoration was ornate with every inch covered in carvings. Lan Xichen's mind was blank as both of jiang Cheng's hands moved forward and presented him with a box.
Did he see? What does this mean? Why? Does he return my affections?
"For everything you have done for the Jiang Sect. A token of my gratitude."
Gratitude? Was it really gratitude?
"Wanyin..." his words were lost in a Nie disciple's call.
"Sect Leaders. Pardon my interruption. Sect Leader Nie wants to start early."
Lan Xichen met Jiang Cheng's eyes, wishing for another private moment when he spoke, looking away.
"I am on my way." and he followed the disciple hurrying away. With a sigh that no one could watch and a heart that ached louder every time he saw Jiang Cheng, he placed the body deep within his sleeves before he too followed.