"Mer?" Derek probed the handle but the bathroom door was locked. He frowned and pressed his ear against it trying to figure out what his girlfriend was doing. She locked herself inside over an hour ago and was not seen alive since.
"Meredith?" he knocked on the door. "Have you fallen asleep in there?"
"God, Der, stop with the grouch-fest. I'll make it worth your while."
He stopped pacing, his eyebrow lifted curiously. "Does it mean we're staying in...?"
"We can't stay in. it's a goodbye dinner especially for you. You can't be an ungrateful no show."
"Fine then! Let's go already. I want to be back in bed with you in no time!"
"Oh, I get it," she snickered finally walking out of the bathroom. "You want to turn in early before the journey tomorrow."
"Yeah, right, no sleep to-" he trailed off, his eyes immediately becoming glued to her. He gulped heavily, his eyes sweeping her form with hunger. Loosening his collar didn't help as his face felt hot. Also with embarrassment. He was in mid thirties and yet her posing in that flimsy dress was enough to make him hard in an instant. Maybe he was just super sensitive today, more aware of the sparse time they had left.
She was wearing a dress he hadn't seen on her yet, hugging her chest closely and falling in waves to her mid thigh. He almost lost it when she bent down to put on her shoes, her skirt hitching up giving him an enticing view of the back of her thighs.
"Seeing something you like?" she asked, twirling around. "Oh, no need to answer that," she quipped, her eyes roving the tent at the front of his slacks. She moved past him brushing her butt against his crotch suggestively making him groan.
"Careful there," she quipped. "You don't want to ruin another pair of slacks. Again."
"Very funny," he said, tight-lipped.
"I think so," she shrugged lightly ushering him downstairs.
"Look, let's just stay in, I just don't want to waste time on-"
"Stop right there!" she rounded on him, her eyes reduced to a pair of narrow slits. "Everyone wants to see off your ungrateful ass and all you've got to say is 'screw them, it's a waste of time'?"
"It... came out bad," he sighed shaking his head apologetically.
"You think?" she snorted. "You're the one talking about wasting time! Have you finished your speech you've got to present in four days?"
"No, I-"
"I call it hypocrisy."
"I'm not inspired enough!" he answered curtly as they walked out of the house. "I don't even want to be a speaker on this conference!"
"You sound like a five-year-old. Besides, I suggested some ideas, there are plenty of directions you can take from here."
"No, I can't," he answered, disgruntled. "I'm not a copycat.These are your ideas, your input. I can't use it, you could make a trial out of them-"
"You like them so much, you make a trial," she shrugged.
"Now you're raving!"
"I'm serious, Derek," she said calmly. "I will never go back to a lab, to working full time as a surgeon. I won't even think twice of what I scribbled on your article. So yeah, you can use it any way you like."
Derek shook his head and halted in frustration, passing a hand through his hair.
"Derek?" she prompted him. "Can we go now? Or is this another thing you just don't want to do?"
"It is, I don't want to say goodbye," he replied simply.
She was unable to hold his gaze. She hung down her regard and opened the car door. "Let's go, we're late already."
________________________________________
"So, Dr. Shepherd," Mrs. Lawson looked at him intently from across the table. Derek braced himself mentally. This was one of the reasons he'd rather stay home, a series of awkward question to which he still didn't have answers. "We will all miss you a lot."
"And I'm certainly going to miss Rachel," he assured solemnly catching a sudden strain in Meredith's body language. He searched her fingers under the table but she inconspicuously took her hand back up to reach for her glass. "I'm going to be back though," Derek resigned himself to say.
"Oh, is that so?" Mrs. Lawson raised her eyebrows. "Permanently?"
"That... is still to be seen," he sighed trying to catch Meredith's eye, which didn't go unnoticed by the gathering. "I certainly hope so," he added.
"But what about the practice?" asked somebody else. "What are you going to do when you're back?"
"I haven't given it much thought yet," he admitted. "But I'm keeping my share of the practice for the time being."
"And the house? It's shame that Dr. Grey has to go back to living in the practice, she needs a home!" stated Mrs. Lawson while other respectable Rachel matrons nodded in agreement. Derek was sure he didn't imagine that his obligation to marry Meredith and give her children was also implied.
"I agree wholeheartedly," he assured quickly. "That's why Meredith is going to live there from now on, we own it together." He noticed Meredith's expression hardening but she said nothing. They had spent hours arguing about the house to her finally conceding to his point of view.
Heads around nodded in approval though Meredith kept silent.
"Mer, more wine?" he asked touching her elbow, trying to catch her eye.
"No," she cleared her throat and clumsily got to her feet. The restaurant was packed and she had to maneuver her chair out between Derek's and Cristina's. "Actually, I think I've had too much. I'm gonna get some water."
She kept her face neutral as she walked around the bar until she disappeared behind the swinging door to the back. She didn't even pause in the stuffy hot kitchen. Only when she was out in the backyard did she release the breath she was holding. It didn't bring her any relief though.
She started to pace up and down between the pieces of junk Cristina kept out behind the building of the inn. She was suffocating inside, in the crossfire of questions. But it seemed to be no better here. She couldn't avoid the truth as much as she wanted to. Even before she made any attempt at collecting herself, she heard the backdoor creaked open, followed with a few quiet steps.
"What?" she asked a bit more testily than she intended. She knew who it was even with her back facing the entrance. Right now, she hated that newly acquired sense.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," he sighed.
"No, I'm not alright! Are you satisfied?" she rounded on him, finally turning around. One look at his concerned face was enough to make her feel worse than she had. "I'm sorry," she apologized quickly as he opened his mouth to reply. "I know it's me who wanted to come here. I'm sorry, let's just go-"
Derek blocked her way and caught her hand, gazing at her pleadingly. "Please, don't leave it like that. We need to talk it out."
"No, I... We've been talking it out over and over. I just want it to stop, I'm tired of talking," she sighed and rubbed her temple with the hand he wasn't holding hostage. "I'm tired of analyzing the very simple fact of you leaving tomorrow-"
"None of this simple," he disagreed gently. "But it can be... Say one word and I'll-"
"No! It won't be simple!" she looked at him with impatience mingled with desperation, silently asking him to stop insisting. He didn't even realize how close she was to caving. She was so damn tempted to say that little word, a seemingly uncomplicated request. She stopped lying to herself a while ago, the perspective of Derek staying in Rachel, with her, entered her thoughts repeatedly. Each time she felt euphoria, she started to imagine what it would look like, how their living arrangements would change if they agreed on permanence. It was exciting. However, something else overtook her each time she seriously considered that option. A blind fear.
Admittedly, her relationship with Derek took a turn she hadn't expected herself. She opened up, she trusted him to some level. But she was not whole and healed, she still held back a lot. A serious adult relationship couldn't be based on that.
Those two months he stayed here were a whirlwind, a whirlwind of romance, feelings, sex. It felt so good it made them both push boundaries. She hadn't sought a relationship but he didn't expect to find love in Rachel for sure. The connection they came to share surprised and fascinated them both.
But it was not enough to build a relationship with. If she asked him to stay, he most certainly would. What if they tried... and failed? He'd give up his former life and career for nothing, he would start to resent her. He'd either stay in Rachel like a martyr hating her and her emotional limitations or he'd leave, still hating her. Whereas, she'd end up even more broken than before. She just couldn't take that risk, she had to be strong and reasonable for both of them.
"Be reasonable, Derek..." she whispered and made a move to side step him.
"Be reasonable?" he chuckled and trapped her firmly in his arms, his lips briefly descending on hers. "When have we ever been reasonable?"
"Maybe we should have?" she shrugged, which was a bit difficult with the strength of his grip on her.
"No, we shouldn't," he answered bringing one of his hands to her cheek.
"Damn, Derek, you've made me vulnerable!" Meredith reproached him. "You've made me want you. You want things to be simple? Life would be a lot simpler if we hadn't even started this! But you had to be you, a stupid obstinate-"
He didn't wait to hear the latest epithet as he shut her up with a kiss. He successfully erased every word from her lips, caressing them, licking, nibbling, fusing them with his.
"Tell me you regret it," he challenged her breathlessly as they paused to catch some air.
She gazed at him, a bit disorientated, her eyes already hooded and glassy. "I'd want to... but I can't..."
His face lit up with a short smile before he claimed her lips once again, giving everything he had in the kiss, trying to convey every throb of his heart and every breath of his soul each time their tongues met.
They stumbled a little and after a few minutes of blindly groping around with one hand, the other being otherwise occupied, Derek finally found something resembling a flat surface. His arms wound around her waist lifting her up to sit, just as her legs pulled him flush against her.
"Does this remind you of something?" he husked out softly against the perfect hollow of her neck while his fingers traveled up and down her flanks whenever they pleased.
She cracked a smile as she fought with his tie, planting a kiss on the newly exposed skin. "Reminds me... of many times we had sex..."
"Any time in particular?" he asked on, tilting her up so his hands could dive under her dress.
She giggled, her breath coming out in short gasps as she felt the material of her panties brushing down her thighs, her knees, her calves... until it disappeared altogether. Having unclasped the last button of his shirt, her swift fingers got busy with his belt.
It was insane. They were undressing and about to have sex in a public place where practically everybody could walk in on them. Neither Meredith nor Derek was particularly worried about it. The clock was almost striking twelve, the ball was coming to an end. It would all soon turn back into rags and pumpkins, the fairy tale would be over. They had to take the most of the time they had left.
She let out a gasp of both torture and relief when he slid into her slowly, reverently, until everything stilled. The world, the time... She clenched around him instinctually, holding him in place. Her legs closed around his hips, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck. She breathed hard, her heart pounding like mad. She could hold him like that for the rest of her life, a voluntary prisoner. She squeezed her eyes shut. She sensed another moment of weakness coming, her resolves shaking.
Her hand balled into a fist in his hair. She'd been strong this far, she wouldn't break a step before the finish line. She relaxed her body around him and gently urged him to move, with her hand on the small of his back.
She couldn't think any more, she mustn't. Instead, she surrendered to the feeling of his swollen length withdrawing from her almost all the way to return unhurriedly to her heat. He was giving. He was patient. He was attentive. He made sure to imprint himself on every inch of her being, body and soul.
His lips found hers once more as his hand slid down from her neck to her cleavage, pushing down her dress and her strapless bra to reveal her full breast. His mouth soon followed, his eyes crinkling open just a bit. He always had that dilemma, to look at her or to touch her. The two tasks seemed so difficult to do at the same time. She leaned back on her elbows disregarding something hard poking at her back, and allowing Derek to slightly hover over her. His pace wasn't so even any more. His breathing became more erratic, his touch more feverish, his thrusts faster. She hooked her legs around him pushing herself up to meet him, to keep meeting him, until the fire coursing in her veins was just too much, until she could no longer contain it.
Her screams pierced the night as the unearthly pleasure uncoiled inside her consuming every cell of her body, setting ablaze her lover. He tried to hold off, to relish the desperate contractions enveloping him. It felt as though she didn't try to push him away for once, as though she was locking him inside her. But it was simply impossible not to follow her, not to give in to the impending release. He burned with a growl of his own, the fluids of their passion mixing together.
He leaned heavily forward, his arms propped on whatever surface they just made love. He was shaking with aftershocks, his eyes closed as he waited for his breathing to calm down. Meredith was in a similar state beneath him.
"You don't need to ask me questions to check if I remember milestones of this relationship," she said quietly a couple of minutes later, referring to the question he posed before they got caught up in the heat of the moment. "I remember everything, and our first time was particularly memorable."
He chuckled and opened his eyes, still not moving an inch from his comfortable position between her legs.
One of his eyebrows rode up as he asked, "What is that?"
"What?" she asked readjusting the top of her dress to cover her exposed breasts.
"This." He tapped the flat metallic surface Meredith was sitting on. It seemed to be of circular shape and run around a cushioned hollow in the middle.
"Oops," Meredith bit on her lip. "This is... this is one of Cristina's brand new very expensive very tourist-attractive restaurant booths. She's going to have them installed next week."
"Wow, we've just defiled a spaceship," he laughed pulling up his pants.
"Not a word to Cristina if you wanna live," she warned him.
"Does this count for Mile High Club?"
"Shut up."
________________________________________
They tried to sneak back stealthily but they almost crashed into Cristina who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with her face half-amused, half-disgusted, and her arms folded against her chest.
She smirked sourly at the pair and took earpieces out of her ears.
"Cristina!" Meredith smiled at her innocently. "Why are you standing here? What's wrong?"
"I've just been standing here preventing my guests from coming here and hearing live porn," she remarked lightly.
"What-"
"Oh, please," snorted the innkeeper. "You are going to personally disinfect the place where you did the nasty. By the way, do something with the sex hair."
Meredith gritted her teeth as her hands flew to her head at once, flattening the nest on her head. Derek rolled his eyes and moved to steer Meredith forward but Cristina was not done yet.
"And you McDreamy, you're a big boy already, you should know to keep your willy zipped up," she snickered leaving them alone.
Derek flushed with embarrassment as he realized he forgot to do his fly in the frenzy of their tryst. "At least she doesn't know where..." he trailed off.
"Yeah," Meredith sighed with relief.
"You really want to go back in there?" he asked dubiously.
Meredith cocked her head scrutinizing their slightly crumpled appearance and slowly shook her head. She didn't want to see other people tonight, she just wanted Derek.
"Let's go back and sneak around the inn to the car," he proposed.
"No goodbye?"
"Goodbyes are overrated," he quipped sadly taking her hand before she could argue further. She didn't.