Set up your music player, find the song and listen to it while you read the story part of this novel. Set up your music player, find the song and listen while you read the part of the story of this novel.
1. SF9 – Different
2. Chen & Punch - Everytime
3. Sondia – First Love
4. Yook Sungjae – From Winter
5. Plastic – Gangnam Exit 4
6. THE BOYZ – Good Bye
7. MXM – Good Day
8. MONSTA X - Gravity
9. Im Hanbyul – Heejae
10. Chunji & Eunha – Hold Your Hand
HEO CHUNGDAE'S POV
What should I do? I really don't know who I am right now. I've lost my freedom, and does that mean I'll lose Choeun noona too? I really need someone to talk to...
"Chungdae oppa?"
And finally I stepped into Youngkyong's apartment without realizing it, I even pressed the doorbell of her apartment. She looking confused for a few seconds after seeing me in the doorway of her apartment, then she pulling me in quickly.
"Why is your face like that?"
"Youngkyong, do you have soju?"
I know I'm not drunk, but soju makes me speak more fluently. This is already the second bottle I drink, and Youngkyong sits across from me on the floor, with the table as our dividers. She listens to me patiently and occasionally offers me fried squid snacks.
"I really want to help Choeun noona. I don't want to leave her when she needs me like this... but I'm helpless. Our agency banned me," I said after drinking another sip of soju, "I wanted to tell everyone that she is my girlfriend. But the agency also prohibited me."
"Maybe oppa didn't pay attention to the contents of our contract carefully... we are indeed prohibited from dating for at least the next four years..."
"Then, how? It broke my heart when I saw her being hit by a water bomb... I felt crazy when I saw that Donghyun was the one accompanying her, not me. And how I want to shout to everyone on campus that I am Choeun noona's boyfriend, not Donghyun like the rumors are circulating. But, I can not. I might not even part with her as well."
Youngkyong touching my arm and caressing it carefully.
"Oppa... be patient. I think you can explain everything to Choeun eonni. I'm sure she can understand. Did you not talk to her yet?"
"No, I haven't talk to her about this. And now the time is getting not right..."
Youngkyong seem to be in deep thought while chewing her snack. I feel a little comforted because she want to think hard for me.
"Youngkyong, do you know what my motivation to work is?"
"Hmm? What is it oppa? To have an income?"
"I want to have an income so people won't gossip about Choeun noona and me anymore. There was once a bunch of women who gossiped about us... that Choeun noona likes young man and that I was actually just a parasite for her. Because I'm young and I don't work..."
"Oppa... I'm a little suspicious. I mean, don't you feel like all the trouble comes with close timing? You guys have been dating for a long time, why is the rumor only circulating now? Then a new problem happened to Million Stars not long afterward."
I thought hard and what Youngkyong said could make a lot of sense.
"Then does that mean... someone planned everything?"
"Yes and maybe, that person knows that oppa who should protect her is currently busy and... everything will turn out as if Choeun eonni is alone. Maybe this person did not think that there was still Donghyun who would always be ready to help Choeun eonni. Donghyun is still lo... " then Youngkyong looking surprised and change the word very quickly, "I mean, Donghyun's still around her, so..."
"Donghyun still loves Choeun noona."
Youngkyong looking surprised again and she lowering her head, I could hear her cursing softly.
"It's not your fault. I know that, I can see it. I know Donghyun has been holding back, because he doesn't want our friendship destroyed," I said, then I laughing sarcastically, "I can't blame him. If I can reflect, I am pathetic."
"Oppa, don't say like that..."
"Don't you think Choeun noona looks more suited to Donghyun? She need someone who could accompany her when she need help... but that person isn't me. I lost my confidence."
I'm looking at the ring on the ring finger of my left hand and suddenly my mind is no longer here.
I'm smiling to see her running along the shoreline. I know, she really likes the beach, besides the mountains. But since it's still spring, I guess going to the beach will be pretty practical. Choeun noona, who having difficulty running due to wearing high heels, finally took them off and holding them while she was running. Luckily she was wearing a mini dress, otherwise she might have half lifting her skirt as well by now.
"Noona, wait for me! You're so far away, I can't catch up with you later!"
"Why are you walking so slowly, Heo Chungdae? And I'm curious, why are you taking me to the beach? " she asked half shouting while walking backwards not far in front of me, "you said you were going to take me on a candlelight dinner, that's why I'm wearing a mini dress and such things... and you wearing a suit like that!"
"We are going to have a candlelight dinner, but not at a restaurant!"
"But I really like the atmosphere, so are we going to eat here?"
"Noona, please wait here, I'll check our reservation first. Do not go anywhere!"
"Hurry up!"
I walking quickly away from her, then to the cottage I booked for the night. This small cottage is just one of a group of other cottages around this shoreline.
"Are you Mr. Heo?" asked a middle aged waiter.
"Yes, it is me. Can the plan be executed now?"
"Okay, everything is ready. Please wait."
I entering the small cottage that I booked and see that it's perfect inside: the small round table in the middle of the room was decorated with food and three candles in the middle, the large bed in the corner of the room was decorated with rose petals in the shape of a love shape, with a bouquet of rose in the middle, while on both sides of the bed, there was also a candle shining dimly. Choeun noona will like it, she likes to look at things that are romantic, although she sometimes says that romantic things can make her feel amused. I've rarely teased her with words lately, but tonight, she has to endure the romantic words I had memorized. I sit on the available empty seat, then just have to wait while staring at my cell phone. Finally, I get a video call from one of the waiters. I can see Choeun noona, whose figure was recorded in a zoom state, receiving a card from a maid. She looks confused but she reads the card. I can see her smile, then start walking steadily towards the right. Along the way (still holding her high heels in one hand) she looking down to pick up a bright red love shape card. Usually she would grumble if she has to do something troublesome, but she seem to smiling now. My heart is pounding when I see her continue to pick up the card, because it means she is getting closer to me. I'm clearing my throat and correcting my appearance in front of the hanging mirror. My black coat is neatly arranged, my tie is also in a matching color. I sit back down and cut the video call. I can see her figure in the dim light around the cottage area. As soon as she meet my eyes, I could see her left hand is holding the deck of cards. She smiling very broadly.
"Heo Chungdae, what is this?"
I smiling and beckoning her to enter the cottage, and as soon as she entered, she seemed stunned by the sumptuous food that had been prepared on the table.
"Are we going to have a party?"
"I know noona is hungry, and so am I. But, please give me some time to explain all this huh."
I get up from my chair and kneel in front of her, opening the ring box that I had prepared.
"너와 함께 라서 행복해, 오랫동안 너와 함께 하고 싶어, 진심 으로 사랑해, 너는 내 약혼자 가 될래?" (I am happy when I am with you, I want to be with you for a very long time, I love you with all my heart, will you be my fiancé?)
Choeun noona covering her mouth with her hand full of cards, and I'm sure I see her eyes sparkle. Is she feels touched?
그대 나를 바라볼 때
When you look at me
나를 보며 미소 질 때
When you look at me and smile
난 심장이 멈출 것 같아요 난
It feels like my heart will stop
그댄 어떤가요
How about you?
난 정말 감당하기 힘든걸
It's really hard for me to handle
온종일 그대 생각해
All day, I think of you
조금 멀리 우리 돌아왔지만
We went in circles for a long time
지금이라도 난 괜찮아
But even if it's now, I'm alright
Oh every time I see you
그대 눈을 볼 때면
When I see your eyes
자꾸 가슴이 또 설레여와
My heart keeps fluttering
내 운명이죠
You're my destiny
세상 끝이라도
The only person I want to protect
지켜주고 싶은 단 한 사람
Until the end of the world
날 떠나지 말아요
Don't leave me
가끔은 알 수 없는 미래라 해도
Even when we can't see our futures
날 믿고 기다려줄래요
Will you believe in me and wait for me?
(Chen & Punch – Everytime)
"Noona, come on answer me, I'm sore kneeling like this."
"Yes, I want to. Of course I do!"
I smiling and put the ring on the ring finger of her right hand, then she hugging me very tightly. I laughing and hugging her tight too.
"Noona now makes me unable to breathe."
"Heo Chungdae, you almost make me cry! What if my makeup fade because you make me cry?"
"No matter what, noona is still the prettiest."
"Uh, what are you talking about? Since when have you prepared all this?"
She put down her shoes and walking around the cottage, even picking up the bouquet by herself.
"Oh noona, I should have given the flower to noona."
"This is the most unique rose bouquet I have ever seen. You mix roses with all colors here, it's so pretty!"
I laughing seeing her admire the flower bouquet.
"Heo Chungdae," she said as she handed the bouquet to me, "you must be my good fiancé! Remember I'll be waiting for you for about 20 months, so hurry come back!"
She making me laughing and I take her flower bouquet.
"We're getting married after I come back, right?"
"It depends," she replied and then stuck out her tongue, "you need to work first."
"Ah noona, you are cruel!"
"So why don't two of you get married right away when oppa finished your military service?"
Apparently Youngkyong also looking at my ring.
"I think by we often spend time together when I first returned from military service is enough for me. Then I got busy with myself. Appa asked me once, but I told him, I will find the right time to propose to her. This is all my fault. Shit, I'm really stupid."
"Oppa. Stop blaming yourself. Tomorrow, meet her. I know it will be very dangerous with the agency watching your movements... but I will help. I will find a way to help you," convinced Youngkyong, "it's never too late for you guys. You guys are still fine."
"No, we're not okay, Youngkyong," I scolded, "you know... I've been trying to meet her in her apartment after... it's not easy to trick Hajin hyong. But I didn't meet her. You know what I saw there?"
"What... what did you see?" she asked with terrified eyes.
"Donghyun. I did not see him or noona, but I saw his shoes when I entered her apartment."
"Oppa, I think Donghyun just met Choeun eonni to chat... hmm maybe about Million..."
"Youngkyong, it's okay. Stop comforting me. I know, I try to think positively too. It was 8 pm at night, so yeah... I thought they were chatting even though I couldn't see where they were..."
"Fine, I won't comforting oppa or try to do anything. The most important thing is, please oppa, meet Choeun eonni tomorrow."
"Yes, I understand. Thank you for listening to me tonight, Youngkyong."
"No problem, oppa. Are you going home now?"
"I think so."
"But now it's quite late and..."
Youngkyong going to the window and looking at me anxiously.
"The snow falling very hard, oppa..."
"It's okay, I can call a taxi..."
"OPPA!"
Youngkyong catch my arm just as I nearly fall while standing. Damn, my head is so dizzy. Did the effect of the third bottle of soju get me drunk? Or does all the problems that fill my mind add to alcohol... make my alcohol tolerance decrease? Or is the condition of my body...
"Are you sure you will go home like this? I can call a taxi, but... what if someone recognizes oppa? I don't think it's a good idea if our agency knows oppa is drunk..."
"You're right, Youngkyong. I... shouldn't have taken that risk. But what should I do?"
"Oppa just sleep here, then go home early in the morning, at least after you don't get drunk anymore and the snow has subsided. Come on oppa, I'll help you."
I don't even have the energy to walk anymore and I know Youngkyong half-dead take me to an empty room. I think I fell asleep immediately when Youngkyong put me on the bed. I only remember her waking me up, some time later, and there are snowflakes on her head at that time, even though my vision was blurry, she force me to drink something that taste sweet, then I fell asleep again afterward. A very long sleep... which I hope will make me wake up by Choeun noona's side the next day. Me, not Donghyun.
***