The past week had been such a blur I could barely comprehend what had happened.
With Raphael destroying my phone I had no way to contact anyone. And Sami had offered me to stay with her and.. Kyle.
I tried to say no but I knew I had no other options. My car was only a possibility if Kyle would go with me to get it- which he told me he would do if I agreed to stay with them.
It hadn't been easy.
Kyle was still a horrible person and any chance he got he tried to force me to undress.
He followed me everywhere, barely refusing to let me leave his sight. Which is how I ended up here tonight.
My mind was fucking uncontrollable and I felt like I was dying.
I sat in the driver's seat of the Mustang dazed out of my own mind, getting high was the only way I could deal with being with Kyle.
He sat besides me, basically on top of me as he leaned himself close to my face. His fingers twirled stands of my black hair around, finally he had given up on trying to speak to me.
We were sat in the Pops parking lot, it was making me upset the longer I had to wait for the Northsider in the pitch darkness.
My eyes hazed in and out of consciousness, even rolling slightly but I really couldn't think. My body felt nonexistent, like a puddle of nothing.
I was nothing.
"Hey, Lilith!" My head snapped to look out of my drivers window. As I blinked the blurry figure turned into Jughead Jones.
"Are you okay?" Jughead immediately asked after I had welcomed him with a small nod, my eyes barely even open at the gesture.
"She's high out of her mind right now, I can give her a message if you want." Kyle grinned as he leaned forward.
I watched him look Jughead over for a long minute, "Who are you?"
Jughead glanced between the two of us without answering him, "I'm cool, Jones."
"You sure, Lil?" I looked over Jughead's shoulder to spot the three musketeers.
My eyes immediately and greedily stared at Sweet Pea. As always, he looked great. Sweet Pea wore his usual but delicious attire of a black shirt, black jeans and his Serpent leathers. His eyes met mine with the same intensity, with what I hoped was the same sad longing.
In a second though his eyes moved past me, right to Kyle.
"That the one, huh, Lili?" My eyes moved back to his, full of fury at the nickname he had dropped. I had only allowed it from Sweet Pea since my mother's murder, it's almost as if Kyle knew this.
"Who are you?" Sweet Pea's voice boomed out, demanding to be answered as Toni started towards the car. The two others followed.
"I'm her boyfriend." Kyle smiles big at this before looking back to me.
"Shut the fuck up." I snapped loudly, my anger filling the car at his lie.
"What? I'm sorry, I'm the one fucking her. Is that better, Lili?" I knew what he was doing, he wanted either me or Sweet Pea to lash out. To truly deem me a traitor, to put a target on my back.
It's not true.
Kyle's wild green eyes stared into mine, I wanted to cut them out of his skull.
"She ever mark you as hers?" His eyes look back to Jughead's and then to his real target- the 6'4 Serpent behind him.
Kyle tugged the side of his collar down, showing his scar I had given him a long time ago. As reparation of what he had done to me that night outside of the party.
"I think that's just what she gives rapists, so no." Sweet Pea's voice is even, calm really. The words he says made my eyes dart to him, please, stop.
Sweet Pea's brown eyes meet mine again, I didn't understand what was going on. I just wanted them to go, I was scared. My hands were sweating.
"You telling people I rape you? You think she'd be stupid enough to move in with her so called rapist, Snake?" Kyle's tone has an edge to it, if Sweet Pea didn't drop it Kyle was going to escalate it.
"Knock it off." I mumbled out so quietly but I was terrified of what the result would be.
"You moved in with him, Lil? I told you that you could stay with me." My eyes look to Toni, having no way to express my regret. Having no way to tell her how dangerous that would be.
Instead I just stared at her before looking back to Jughead, widening my eyes as if to say go!
"Of course she did, Lili loves me, isn't that right?" My jaw locked hard at his claim, it felt like a threat really.
My eyes went from Toni's to the one person it would truly hurt, Sweet Pea's face was pulled in anger and confusion.
My face softened slightly as I stared at him, "I said you love me, right, Lili?"
At his voice my jaw locked hard again, almost painful really.
"I love him." I stared at Sweet Pea, hoping to God that he understood. I did not love Kyle, I fucking hated him.
"Sami's calling." Kyle pulled my new phone from his own pocket, something he had begun doing within the last two days.
"Hello, sister." Sweet Pea's eyebrows raised at this, as if it had connected the dots for him.
"Daddy's at our place." My neck hurt at how fast I turned my head to him.
"What?" Kyle grinned at my distraught expression.
"He wants you to go home, you gonna cry again or can Sami tell him to leave?" At cry again I glared, Kyle's deal was basically prostitution. The last time my father had showed Kyle had forced me into his bed, I had cried until he gave up trying to have sex with my unwilling figure.
"Why were you crying, Lilith?" All the voices were making my head pound, all of the questions making me want to curl into the fetal position.
"She's not used to my co-" Before I could really loose my shit on him a loud honk from a nice car pulled me out of it.
I snatched the baggie from my cup holding, slamming my car door behind me
probably as hard as I ever really had.
"Money." I held my hand out to the blonde kid, counting the bills over in my hands before I tossed him the baggie.
When I rounded back to my car door it seemed like everything had only gotten worse, Sweet Pea was close to the window. It's as if he were waiting for one more thing before he lunged at the older man.
"C'mon." My somehow freezing to the touch hands pulled at his bicep, he stood to his full height to look down on me. I took a deep breath as I stared, I missed him. I missed how easy it was for us to talk, I missed talking about things that bothered me. I missed when his eyes didn't look at me filled with hate.
"You're a whore." My whole body seemed to freeze up at his insult, this being just that.
"I-I didn't do anything." I glance to Toni who
only wore a frustrated expression.
"Lilith!" Kyle's loud voice made me flinch, he waved his hand in a demanding motion.
"Whatever he said probably isn't true." I glanced between the two before I pulled the door open.
"Will you come back to school, Lilith?" My chest seemed to cave in at this, I wanted to.
"Lilith is a big girl, I don't want her going." I started the car, avoiding the stunned eyes at what Kyle had said.
"Doesn't need to be around those prissy Northsider's, she gets mouthy and then she gets in trouble." I wanted to throw myself out the car window but instead of causing more problems I reversed.
"It was nice to meet you, Sweet Pea, I think it is?" My eyes latched to the back of Kyle's head in fear.
"Fuck." I couldn't help but curse, quickly driving us back to our side.
me: i don't know what he said, i know it lookks really bad. toni he knows sweet pea's name i need you to make sure he's careful. please make sure he doesn't g anywhere alone i'm svared please
I hoped to a God I didn't believe in I'd remembered Toni's number right. I didn't have anybodies in my new phone.
I immediately deleted the message, quick to put Toni on do not disturb at the risk of Kyle snatching my phone and refusing to give it back again.
I stared at Sami's ceiling as the drowning of thoughts and emotions pulled me under.
I wished I was with Sweet Pea.
I wished I was with Toni and the. rest of my friends feeling safe and loved.
That would never happen again, I didn't deserve to feel so at peace ever again.
I had gotten a taste of true happiness and now it was gone. I didn't know how to function without it.