.
Snowflakes falling, sparkling through the cold and quiet winter night in the beautiful city of Seoul. People are in their winter clothes to keep them warm in the middle of the cold season. The city as well is also dressed in this season as the city is now preparing for the upcoming holiday, Christmas.
During the last year's Christmas season was the first time Irene and James met each other in person. After a couple of months of just through text messages and phone calls, Irene and James met in the most random and unexpected way. It is not the way they imagined it would be, but they are happy that it happened. The hallway in the 5th floor, in front of the elevator, will always have a special meaning for the two of them as it was the start of something great.
Being as one of the top girl groups in Kpop, Red Velvet members are still very busy in the last month of the year with all the promotions, music shows performances and other stuff. The success of their album , The Perfect Velvet, and their lead single, Peek-a-Boo, continues it's success as the album sales continue to rise both digital and physical.
As for James, variety show and radio show had always occupies his weekends. With the addition of his two upcoming dramas, James no longer have a couple rest day every week as he also started preparing for his roles because he will be acting with the top actors in the country.
And speaking of his upcoming dramas, James is having a dinner with his soon-to-be co-star, and also a close friend...
"Hyung, want another platter of mandu?" James asked,
"Sure, but I want to try the fried ones.." Myungsoo replied. James immediately called the attention of the waitress and orders a platter of fried mandu for their table.
James is currently having a dinner with Kim Myung-soo, most commonly known as L , member and vocalist of the boy group Infinite. Myungsoo and James are going to be co-stars in the upcoming drama Ms. Hammurabi.
The two of them are having dinner after they went to see a live trial case in court. They observed how real-life court trials works and most importantly, how the judges do their jobs and analyze each case. Both of them are going to be a judge in the drama, Myungsoo will be playing the role of Lim Ba-reun, an elite presiding judge who prioritizes principles and rules. James will be playing the role of Jung Bo-wang, a presiding judge who is a half-korean and very friendly person that he knows almost everything about the people working in the city district court.
(Ryu Deok-hwan originally have the role of Jung Bo-wang. I apologize to his fans that I gave the role to James in this book. Peace guys! lol)
"This place is really great. I understand now why you always coming to this place" Myungsoo can't deny that the food in that restaurant is really good.
"Told ya hyung~ next time try their Samgyetang, it is really good!" James replied while him and Myungsoo are busy killing their Kimchi jjigae. ".. by the way, halmeoni might ask to take your picture later, she is going to post it in the wall" he added.
"Sure, no problem.." Myungsoo replied as he look at the wall where the other photos of celebrities were posted. ".. who's that woman with you in the photo? the one on the left of the photo of you and Irene?" he asked
James looked at it for a couple of second to see who is Myungsoo talking about, "Oh~ it's Goeun noona".
"Jinjja? you eat here with Kim Go-eun?" Myungsoo is a little surprised to find that out.
"Yeah... uh, actually all those people are on the wall because of me" James chuckles, he then explained that before his career exploded, he is a frequent customer of the restaurant. Then because of him bringing Seolhyun and Mina to the restaurant, the owner of the restaurant puts up a wall of fame, wherein they posted the photos of the celebrities who visits the restaurant. All of those celebrities are James' friends, and the most famous ones in that wall are Song-Song couple, and Kim Go-eun.
"Wahh.. now I'll be honored to be with them on the wall.." Myungsoo laughingly said to him.
..
"By the way, what did your girlfriend say about your role in the drama? Is it okay with her?" Myungsoo asked.
"Yeah, I talked to her first and told her that I'm considering to back out from the role because of the kissing scene. We actually just become a couple when I received the call that I got the part. I initially planning to back out, but she told me not to, because it is a great opportunity. Then I accepted it. And about the kissing scene, she's fine with it because it's just acting.." James explained.
"Good for you~ your girlfriend is supportive and understands that it's just work.." Myungsoo said to him.
"Yeah, I'm very thankful~" James can't help but to smile when he thinks of Irene, and how lucky he is to have her.
"Although hyung, I feel bad for the writers.." James said to him.
"Why?" Myungsoo asked.
"A couple of days after the... news. One of the writers called me and asked if I want for them to rewrite the script and take out the kissing scene.." James told him.
"Jinjja? so there will be no more kissing scene for you?" Myungsoo asked.
"Ani.. I said to the writers that it's fine and they don't have to rewrite the script. That's why I want to do very well in this drama because I feel bad for the writers that they even consider my situation" James explained and reveal one of the reasons why he went to watch a couple of real case trials in court. In order for his acting to portray properly the role.
"Wahh~ a year ago when we first met and during our guesting in Knowing Brothers, who would have thought that after a year we will be working together a drama. And look at you, an actor now and have a beautiful girlfriend.." Myungsoo teasingly said to James.
"Hyung, I'm on the same page as you. Everything still feels like a dream to me." James let out a happy laugh.
"Haha you were still a new member back then, you didn't talk that much yet. And now, you have many trending scenes from the show.." Myungsoo giggles as he remembers the first time they met the 8th Brother in Knowing Brothers.
"That was my second episode so I'm still adjusting a little. I barely talk that time haha" James laughs as he remembers his second episode on the show as a permanent cast.
James and Myungsoo spend the next hour just talking about the drama. Myungsoo, as senior and far more experienced actor, he gives James a lot of advice. Myungsoo knows the struggle to be a rookie actor, and how difficult it will be to have a first major supporting role. And since they will be acting together in the same drama, Myungsoo is the best one to help the rookie actor.
Before they parted ways and went home, they planned another day to go back in the city district court. But this time, they will try to invite their other co-stars to join them. And of course, James is excited because he will finally meet Go Ara.
..
Several minutes later...
James is walking in the hallway and he is almost at the door of his condo when his phone started ringing. He immediately reach for his phone in the pocket of his pants. James smile brightly to see the person who is calling him, it's his adorable girlfriend. He didn't answer it just yet, he just stare at Irene's name and the photo of her at the background.
"I really love your smile~" James smilingly mutters.
"Hello~~" James energetically and happily answers the call from his girlfriend just when he arrives in front of his condo. He then put his finger in the scanner and as soon as the door unlocks, James heard a disturbing sound...
"James......",
"What's wrong? are you okay?" James facial expression instantly changes and the smile in his face disappears when he heard that Irene is crying.
"Jo-..Jonghyun oppa... h-h-h... he's gone..." Irene is bawling and she is having a hard time speaking.
"W-w-wha.... eh? what do you m-mean?" James' body felt a sudden chills upon hearing what Irene told him.
"They- ... they found oppa's body-..... but..... in the hospital...... he's.. gone.." Irene broke down in tears. James can also hear the crying of the girls in the background, then can't stop crying that they lost one of their labelmate, and their dear sunbae.
James feels like his heart just dropped to the floor upon hearing that Jonghyun is dead. His limbs starts to feel weak and his body started to feel heavy. There was a pain in his heart that it left him just standing and staring at the door of his apartment.
"Wh-where's Jonghyun hyung? what hospital?" James started to breathe heavily and he is stuttering as well.
"..in Konkuk..." Irene barely managed to reply.
"Araseo.... I-.. I'll call you later.." James ended the call and immediately went back to his car.
The news of Jonghyun's death shocked the whole Kpop industry and all the fans around the world. But that news hits completely different to his family, group members, labelmates, and to his close celebrity friends. No one can believe that one of the most talented and kindest idol in the industry is gone.
Just when James drives out from the condominium building, he received a message from Irene saying that their managers will take them to the hospital, and that they should just meet in there. Upon reading the message, James drives fast and head straight to the hospital.
..
A couple of minutes later..
James is running in the hallway and he immediately slows down when he saw Jonghyun's older sister crying not far away from him. He then noticed right after on the other side, the heartbroken members of Shinee. James feels like someone puts chains to his feet and that he is dragging a boulder while walking towards them. Every step he took is heavy and painful. When he heard the news a minute ago, a small part of him believes that it's not true. But upon seeing Key, Onew, Minho and Taemin, crying their hearts out and the pain in those tears. James now realized that Jonghyun is really gone. James is still in a state of shock as he continue to walk slowly towards them. This is a very familiar situation that he wishes he would never seen again.
Seconds later, Jonghyun's older sister saw James walking slowly towards them. The two of them had already met a couple of times already because of Jonghyun.
"James..." She then approaches him.
"Noona... mi-mianhae...", tears finally fell from James' eyes upon seeing Jonghyun's heartbroken sister. James gives her a comforting hug.
"James.." Key approaches James and hugs him as well. Seconds later, the rest of the members of Shinee joins them.
James tries his best to comfort the members of Shinee because he knew that they are in more pain than him. He had been in that situation before, he knows the pain of losing a special and important person. He knows how hard it is for them to deal with the situation. He knew exactly how much their hearts are aching. Even though they are older than him, James has become the shoulder to cry on for the members of Jonghyun.
Moments later, friends and some labelmates of Jonghyun are arriving one-by-one in the hospital. All of them are in shock, and in disbelief for the sudden passing of Jonghyun.
James' heart aches when he saw all those people who are close to Jonghyun, crying. He used to see those people smiling and laughing. He used to see them making thousands of fans happy. But then at that moment, even they are the biggest stars, they are still just a human like him. Their tears contains the immeasurable sadness and pain they have right now.
..
..
Several minutes later..
There was just a silence of grief among the people who loves Jonghyun. Families, friends, labelmates.. all of them are still having a very hard time processing that a precious angel is gone.
Minho and James are now back as they left for a few minutes to get bottled waters for everyone. The two of them immediately handed out the bottled waters to everyone. Jonghyun's parents thanked Minho and James for bringing water for everyone.
"Hey.. drink some-.." James softly said to his girlfriend. Irene didn't take the bottled water as she just wanted to hug him instead. Irene started crying again as soon as she hugged her boyfriend. James just sighed and hugs his girlfriend tightly.
"You need to drink some water.." James gives Irene a rather weak smile. He wipes his girlfriend's tears and comforts her.
Irene drinks the water because she knows that her boyfriend is just worried about her because she has been crying a lot. After she's done, Irene gives the bottle to James and ask him to drink as well. James smiles before he took a sip of water.
"Gwenchana?" Irene brushes James' hair a little and checks him because she knows what happen the last time James lost someone dear to him. She knows that Jonghyun is not just a friend, but like an older brother.
"I just... can't believe... hyung is gone.." James is trying to wear a brave face but it is obvious in his voice that he is in pain. Irene just hugs James again, as tears continue to fell from their eyes.
It was a very sad night for everyone. No matter how much tears they offer to the gods, the outcome will not change. All they need to do is to accept and move on, even though it is extremely painful to do.
..
An hour later, most of the people who went to the hospital decided to go home so that they can rest for a bit and prepare for the funeral tomorrow. Jonghyun's family are having a meeting together with the hospital staff about the funeral.
Shinee members, and some labelmates decided to stay around for a little more while the rest goes home first. James stay behind as well, and Irene wanted to do the same but James told her to have a rest and that her members needs their leader. Irene understands what James is trying to say, so she follows her boyfriend and went home with her members. Irene also asked James to do something important..
"Noona, I bring some water and bread..." James approaches Taeyeon who also decided to stay in the hospital for awhile.
Before they left, Irene told James to watch over and try to comfort Taeyeon as well because she knows that Jonghyun is like a younger brother to her. She pointed that Taeyeon is also suffering from depression and what happen to Jonghyun is a huge blow to her.
"Oh, gomawo~" Taeyeon weakly smiled at him. James knew that she is just forcing it.
"May I sit noona?" James kindly asked. "Of course.." Taeyeon grabs James' arm and kinda drags him down to sit.
"How's Irene and the girls?" Taeyeon asked about her juniors.
"They are still in shock.. but they are okay.." James replied. Taeyeon smile and glad to hear that her juniors are doing fine.
"James.. gomawo~" Taeyeon looked at him.
"No problem noona~ you've been crying all night, and you need to drink some water" James smiled at her.
"Ani.. not that. For being here and for comforting everyone. I know it's hard for you too~" Taeyeon knows that James is just trying to be brave and strong but in reality he is in grief as well. ".. especially to them.." Taeyeon is referring to the members of Shinee.
".. well, I know exactly how what they are feeling right now. I just want to lessen the pain even just a little.." James looked at the remaining members of Shinee who are just sitting quietly and staring in a blank space, traumatized for the loss of their beloved brother.
"W-what do you mean, 'exactly'? have you..?" Taeyeon curiously asked. James looked at her and nods.
"They're not a family by blood but, I consider them family as well.." James proceed to share the story of the tragic accident in Nara, where he lost people who he considers as family. Taeyeon is just sitting there quietly listening to James as he also shared the pain and suffering he experienced during that time. And what he learned from that experience.
".. but then, even though I've been in this situation before.. it's not the same. It hits differently.." James said at the end of his sharing to Taeyeon. ".. the pain is the same, but seeing Key hyung, Onew hyung, Minho hyung, Taemin hyung... I-I can't imagine how painful it is for them, they spent years together, they spent more time together as a group than with their own families. The same goes with everyone, all of you spent years of being trainees as well" he added.
"Yeah, they... are brothers" Taeyeon is tearing up again as she feels sad for the members of Shinee.
"Oh- uh.. noona mianhae~" James panicked when Taeyeon is crying again. ".. mianhae~ Irene told me to comfort you, not to make you cry again. She is going to kill me.. uh stop crying noona~" James is trying to look for a tissue. He unintentionally managed to lighten the mood a little and made Taeyeon smile.
"I'm going to tell Irene~" Taeyeon giggles a little as she wipes her tears. James giggled as well seeing that Taeyeon managed to joke around a little. It is a good sign for James.
..
James stay beside Taeyeon the whole time and accompany her until she decided to go home and rest a little bit before the funeral. Taeyeon and James shared each of their happiest and most memorable moments with Jonghyun.
Taeyeon and James are walking together, heading to the parking lot where Taeyeon parked her car.
"Jinjja?" Taeyeon is surprised for some reason.
"Yeah, I want to surprise Irene noona for her birthday or our anniversary, or just do something special for her. So I asked Jonghyun hyung if he can teach me how to sing.. at least in tune" James is smiling and laughs a little while sharing a secret to Taeyeon.
"You really can't sing?" Taeyeon asked, and James nods. "I always thought you can sing. I mean because you can do different voices" she added.
"Jonghyun hyung said the same thing~ but yes noona, I really can't sing, I'm tone deaf~ I can singalong and hum to the songs.. that's it" James replied.
"So how's it going with your singing lessons with him?" Taeyeon asked.
"It's great. I learned a lot of things, although I really don't quite understand some of the terms. But he teaches me different techniques, and we are actually in the middle of finding the right pitch, not sure if that's the right term, but we're in the process of finding my singing voice.." James told the things he had learn under Jonghyun's teachings.
"Ohh~ that's a good start, finding your singing voice is really important.." Taeyeon remarked, ".. then you just have to practice and apply the techniques" she added.
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore how much I practice. Jonghyun hyung is... gone" James became a little sad again remembering that his teacher is gone and he wishes to have one last session with him. Taeyeon just remained quite while staring at James. She can feel how much he misses Jonghyun, the same way how they all do.
"I can teach you~" Taeyeon said to James.
"Eh?!" James got surprised that he stopped walking and looked at Taeyeon.
"I'll be your teacher~" Taeyeon smilingly nods.
James got speechless for a few seconds before he can respond, ".. it would an honor but noona you don't have to. It's just for one song. I'm not even going to focus on singing. Besides you are very busy and I don't want you to waste your time to teach me".
"Ani.. it will not be a waste of time. I want to continue what Jonghyun started. Plus, I'm sure he would want me to take over~" Taeyeon smilingly said to James.
For some reason James saw Taeyeon's sincerity that she wanted to take over as his teacher. Maybe she really does means to continue what Jonghyun started, even if it's just a simple request. James cannot say no anymore as Taeyeon wants to do it for her younger brother, Jonghyun.
"N-noona... k-kamsahamnida~~" James thanked and gives the leader of SNSD a deep bow.
"Araseo~ we'll start our class in January~" Taeyeon playfully said.
"Yes master Taeng~" James giggles.
..
..
A minute later, they finally arrived where Taeyeon parked her car..
"Noona, let me drive you home. You're not in the proper state to drive.." James is concerned about Taeyeon, so he offers to take the idol home.
"huh?" Taeyeon is quite startled, ".. I-I can drive" she smiles and laughs a little.
"Irene noona asked me to look after you. It's already midnight and I need to make sure you go home safe~" James insists.
"Oh.. uh, n-no need. I don't want to bother you" Taeyeon said to him.
"Please noona~ let me drive you home. Even if you say no, I will follow you anyway, just to make sure my favourite idol get home safely" James smilingly said while convincing Taeyeon. ".. besides, I'm doing this for Jonghyun hyung as well. He would definitely ask me to take you home" he added. Taeyeon just smile and it was probably Taeyeon's biggest smile she had that night.
"Araseo~" Taeyeon smiled at James. ".. wait, what about my car?" she asked.
"Oh, uh.. I'm thinking that I'll drive you car instead. Then after I take to your home, I can just take a taxi or a bus going back here.." James explained to her what he planned to do.
"huh? are you sure?" Taeyeon got worried.
"Don't worry noona, I'm used to commute even at midnight. I've been doing it before" James gives her an assuring smile. ".. plus, I kinda want to experience driving an AMG at least once in my life~" James jokingly said.
"Araseo~" Taeyeon giggles and gave her car keys to James.
Taeyeon started walking to the passenger side of the car. She almost didn't noticed that James quickly walks ahead of her to open the car door for her.
"You are really a gentleman~" Taeyeon mutters.
"Eh?" James didn't quite heard that.
"Gomawo~" Taeyeon just smile and she went inside the car. James carefully closes the door and he quickly walk around to the driver seat.
..
..
..
About 20 minutes later, James is parking the car at Taeyeon's house.
"Noona don't move~" James said to Taeyeon, in which the idol got startled again. James quickly got out of the car and run around to the other side of the car to open the door for Taeyeon.
"They're right about you~" Taeyeon mutters while stepping out of the car. She was talking about what she heard from Red Velvet members, Yuri and Sulli. They all talked about that James is a chivalrous kind of guy. Taeyeon is witnessing it all now.
"Eh?" James didn't manage to catch again what Taeyeon mutters.
"Opening the door. Making sure that the woman got home safe. You really are a gentleman. No wonder why Irene loves you~" Taeyeon remarked.
"Oh, not really noona. It's just.. kind of a social protocol for a man to do that~" James shyly replied.
"Ani~ not all men do that. It is very rare nowadays.." Taeyeon told him.
"Irene is very lucky to have you" Taeyeon commented.
"Actually, it's the other way around, I'm the lucky one to have her" James smilingly replied.
"Aigoo~ I wish there are more guys like you" Taeyeon giggles.
..
"James..." Taeyeon looks up in the stars as she calls his name. ".. I miss Jonghyun~".
"I miss him too.." James noticed that Taeyeon is kinda tearing up again.
"I... I want to hug him.." Taeyeon started crying as it breaks her heart knowing that she cannot hug Jonghyun again. James instinctively walks towards Taeyeon and gives her a hug to comfort her.
"Gwenchana.. let it all out noona.. gwenchana~" James is hugging her and lightly rubbing her back at the same time. Letting Taeyeon to cry out under his warm embrace.
James just stood there quietly and just hugging Taeyeon until she stop crying. Hearing the pain and sadness in Taeyeon's cries makes James' shed a tear as he can't hold it anymore. Seeing his favourite idol in pain is totally heartbreaking for him.
Same as Taeyeon, James is also missing Jonghyun at that moment, he wishes to hug him one last time, to have one last conversation, one last laugh, one last singing lesson, one last meal of raw liver, and to have one last drink with him.
A couple of minutes later, Taeyeon has finally calming down and stopped crying..
"Mianhae~" Taeyeon apologized while wiping her eyes.
"Gwenchana?" James asked worriedly, and Taeyeon nods.
"Mianhae~ your sweater is all wet.." Taeyeon laughs a little while trying to dry her tears in James' sweater. "Don't worry noona, it will dry up soon" James said to her.
"Noona, please remember that we're all here for you, specially all of your members, your sisters for how many years are always by your side.." James is very worried about Taeyeon's mental health at the moment.
Taeyeon understood what James is trying to say. With what happened that night, Taeyeon understands why her number one fan is very worried about her.
"Gomawo~" Taeyeon weakly smiled, but she is very grateful to her number one. She then gives James warm hug that he deserves.
"Noona, I'm just a one call away. If you need anything just ask me~" James said to her.
"I'll keep that in mind" Taeyeon replied.
"Anyway noona, I should be get going now so you can rest. I need to check Sodam noona in the hospital as well.." James said to the idol.
"Yeah yeah, you should go back and have a rest as well. Thank you for driving me home.. safely" Taeyeon gives James a deep bow to thanked him.
"No problem noona. Anything for my favourite idol~" James giggles.
"Araseo~ give my thanks to Irene also! Goodnight! See you tomorrow~" Taeyeon smilingly said to James as she accompany her to the gates.
"Ne~ night night noona~" James bows before he left.
Taeyeon smiles and waves her hand before closing the gates. She walks inside her house with a little lightness in her heart. It is all thanks to James for comforting her and lessening the sadness in her heart because of Jonghyun's sudden passing for even just a little.
James took a taxi and heads back to the hospital. While on his way gives Irene a call to check on her and her members. Irene is relieved to know that James even offers to take Taeyeon home because she knows that Taeyeon is also suffering from depression, and Jonghyun's death is devastating for her. Irene also told James not worry about the girls as they had calm down and sleeping already. James also asked his girlfriend to get some rest as well.
..
Back at the hospital..
"Oh, James.. I thought you went home already?" Jonghyun's older sister asked.
"Ani, I drive Taeyeon noona back to her house. I'm worried that she is not in the proper state to drive" James replied. "Where's Key hyung and the others?" he asked.
"They all went home about five minutes ago. You should go home too and rest.." Kim So-dam replied told him.
"It's fine noona, don't worry. Noona, where's eomonim and abeonim? how are they doing?" James asked about their parents.
"They are inside the office for the finalization of the funeral.." Kim So-dam replied in a weak voice.
"Noona.. want to have some coffee? or something to eat?" James invites her so she can rest down a bit.
Kim So-dam accepts and they both get a cup of coffee. While they're getting a coffee, Kim So-dam informs James about the plans for the funeral. There will be a three day public funeral and on the last day, there will be a funeral for family members and close friends only.
About 10 minutes later, they went back outside the office to wait for Jonghyun's parents. Kim So-dam and James sits in the benches outside of the hallway.
"Noona.. I just realized that Jonghyun hyung kinda send me a warning.." James said to Sodam.
"What do you mean?" Kim So-dam asked.
"Weeks ago.. I sent a message to Jonghyun hyung, wishing him good luck on his concert. Then a couple minutes later he replied, the message was quite long, at first I thought that he was just being sweet and wishing me good luck as well because I'm hosting IU noona's concert that time. But in the message there are some hidden meanings, he said, 'always stay strong and happy', 'continue making more people smile', 'thank you for all the laughter, food, late night drinking session at Han River'. I didn't realize that it was his farewell message to me. Maybe.. I could have done something if I realize it sooner.." James is trying his best to hold his tears while he is telling it to Kim So-dam.
"James.." Kim So-dam gently pats James' back. ".. don't blame yourself. Let's just think that Jonghyun is now in a happy place".
"I really hope so noona, I really hope so.." James weakly smiled.
"It's hard but, I just think of it that at least now... he is not suffering anymore" Kim So-dam said to him. James lightly nods as what she is saying maybe true.
..
Jonghyun's parents got out from the office and finished all the arrangements for the funeral. They are also a little surprised to see James is still in the hospital.
"James, why are you still? You should get some rest.." Jonghyun's father said to him.
"I'm worried about you guys.." James politely replied.
"That was sweet of you. By the way, thank you for giving water to everyone earlier" Jonghyun's mother thanked him.
"No problem eomonim~" James politely bows.
"Eomma, appa.. you two should go home and take a rest. I'll stay behind and wait for Jonghyun's..." Kim So-dam said to her parents.
"But you should get some rest also.." Jonghyun's mother worriedly said to her daughter.
"Eomonim don't worry, I'll stay behind with Sodam noona~" James politely offers to stay behind with Sodam.
"Oh no need, I'm pretty sure you have work and you need to rest also" Jonghyun's mother told him.
"It's okay eomonim, besides Sodam noona needs some company. I can't let her stay here alone" James politely insisted.
"Kamsahamnida~" Jonghyun's parents thanked and hugs James for helping their family during this tough time.
"Don't worry, we will be back at 6am. We will just rest a little and change clothes. I will bring some clothes for you Sodam. And James, thank you again. We will be back as soon as possible~" Jonghyun's parents said to them before they leave.
Jonghyun's parents left the hospital and went home to get some rest before the funeral. Kim Sodam and James stayed behind the hospital as planned.
"Are you sure it's okay? You don't have any schedule? I can wait by myself.." Kim So-dam asked James.
"It's okay noona. We have a filming for an episode of Knowing Brothers later, but it will start at 10am so it's fine" James replied.
"Gomawo~" Kim So-dam smiles as she is very thankful for James. If not for him, this process would be much harder to deal with.
"Should we get another cup of coffee?" Kim So-dam asked.
"Sure~" James agrees.
Kim So-dam and James stood up to get another cup of coffee. While they are walking..
"Noona, did you know Jonghyun hyung is teaching me how to sing?" James told her.
"Jinjja? are you planning to be a singer as well?" Kim So-dam asked.
"Ani.. I just want to learn how to sing this particular song" James replied.
James spend the rest of the time by accompanying Jonghyun's older sister in the hospital. He talked to her in order to cheer her up even just a little. James just cannot afford leave her because he knew first hand how hard it is to deal with a loss of a love one.
Around 3 am in the morning, James' team joined them in the hospital. Yeonhee is very worried about James that she couldn't even sleep. She then made a call to Yuna and Minji, who also were very worried about their boss. They all knew how close James and Jonghyun are, they are certain that the news is devastating to them. Later on, the three girls decided to go to the hospital to make sure that James is okay. Upon arriving at the hospital, they are relieved that James is pretty much holding it in, but a little okay nonetheless. The girls packed and prepared everything as after they stay at the hospital they will just head to the filming of another episode of Knowing Brothers.
Yuna talked and checked on James if he can go through with the filming. James assures his manager that he will be okay and is fit to go to the filming. James told her that he cannot put a burden for the staff and crew of the show because his problem shouldn't be a problem for the others. He added that the families of the staff and crew are relying on the show, so he cannot afford let them be affected of it. James also mentioned that Heechul and him talked about it, and both of them are thinking of the same thing. They need to work for the sake of all the people relying on the show and their efforts will not go to waste. Yuna is smiling proudly seeing that James has grown up and have a full understanding how this industry works. Some goes with Minji and Yeonhee, they respected James even more for being strong and still choose to go to work despite this tough time.
Couple of hours later, Jonghyun's parents arrived together with some relatives. They thanked James and his team for being there with their family during this tough time.
When everything is okay, everyone head straight to the funeral hall in Asan Medical Center where a three-day public funeral will be held. James and his team stays for a couple of hours before they leave for the filming. James said to Kim So-dam that he will be back to the funeral after the filming.
As planned, James is still present for the filming of the next episode of Knowing Brothers. So is for the other cast member who is very close to Jonghyun, especially Heechu, Hodong and Soogeun, who are all under SM Ent as well.
It will be hard but all of them swore to be okay once the shooting starts. They need to stop thinking about the sad news for the sake of the show. The sad news coincides with a special episode of Knowing Brothers, so the cast simply cannot afford to waste the shooting. Heechul and James, as the closest ones to Jonghyun among the cast of the show, both are trying their best not to show sadness in their faces. But no matter how hard they try, there are a few moments where the two seems a little phased out, but then it can't be helped.
One of the harsh reality of working in the entertainment industry is that sometimes the celebrities everyone loves to watch are hiding something painful behind their smiles. The same is happening with Heechul and James. In front of the camera, they are trying their best to smile, but behind their smile is the deep sadness of losing a dear friend to them.
Several hours later, the shooting of Knowing Brothers is finally finished. Heechul and James managed to finished it all while secretly mourning. Heechul had another schedule so he might go to the funeral late that night or tomorrow. James on the other hand, decided to treat his team with a wonderful dinner for their support and hard work. After the dinner, James went home for a short time to freshen up and get new clothes before he go back to Jonghyun's funeral.
..
Couple of days later the three-day public funeral had ended. On the last day, another funeral was held privately where only family and close friends attended. Jonghyun then was laid to rest in an undisclosed location. As expected, there were more tears on the last day and on the private funeral. It is everyone's last goodbye to Jonghyun.
James is among the few people who are present and stayed in the funeral for three straight days. Even though he didn't cry as much as the others during the past three days, it is visible in his eyes the sadness of losing a dear friend.
..
After the private funeral and later that day.. James is currently in Red Velvet's dorm..
"James.." Irene approaches her boyfriend who is cooking dinner for them. James is just staring quietly at the boiling pot.
"Yes? uh.. just a few more minutes it will be done" James said to his girlfriend.
"It's okay.. I will be here to wipe your tears.." Irene stood in front of James and holds his hands. She knows that James is just being strong in front of everyone and the reason he is doing it is for the sake of the others.
With that, James closes his eyes and tears started to appear in his eyes. Irene immediately hugs James tightly, letting him to cry into her caring arms. James finally let loose the tears he has been holding in for the past couple of days. James have to say goodbye again to another special person in his life. Jonghyun is one of the idols who treated him as a brother. His pure kind-hearted personality is what James going to miss the most.
James has been everyone's shoulder to cry on, he was the one who is comforting and lessening the sadness of the people mourning for Jonghyun. Being in that situation before, James knows how hard it is for everyone. Irene knows that she is the one who can do the same thing to James, a shoulder to cry on, someone who can comfort him.
Irene and James are both crying in the arms of each other, mourning quietly in the kitchen.
"Gomawo~" James is very thankful that he have a very caring and understanding girlfriend.
"Thank you also.. for being strong for us.." Irene looked at James' eyes and wipes his tears. "Saranghae~" she smilingly said before kissing him.
"Saranghae~" James returns the kiss to his loving girlfriend. He then hugs Irene again, tightly.
A minute later, they called the girls in their own rooms and gathers them to eat dinner. Irene went to Seulgi and Joy's room, while James went to Wendy's and Yeri's room.
"Wahh.." the girls smiled for the first time today when they saw all the food in the table. It's a weak smile but a smile nonetheless.
"Sit down and enjoy the food~" James said to the girls while pouring drinks to their glasses.
"Did you cook all of these?" Seulgi asked.
"Yup, I hope you girls will like it" James smiled at her.
"Gomawo~" . "Kamsahmnida~" the girls thanked James before they started eating.
"Wah.. this is so good" , "Omo~" the girls enjoying all the delicious food James cooked for them.
James happily smiles seeing that the girls are slowly going back to their usual lively state. They are now smiling while enjoying the food. Irene grabs James' hand and asked him to sit beside him. She then started feeding him.
"Appa~ thank you for the delicious foods. I feel a little alive again.." Yeri cutely smiled at him. She is sitting on the other side of James.
"That's good to hear. Go on and eat more so you can--... eh?! Appa?!" James is sure that he just heard Yeri called him as appa. At the same time, Irene got a little flustered because this time she is sure that James clearly heard Yeri calling him as appa.
"Yup! Irene eomma~ James appa~" Yeri cutely explained it in a very simple way by just pointing at the couple.
"Oh.." James giggles and blushes a little. "I thought you think of me as a flying bison, but it was the other appa. So alright~" he laughingly added. The girls burst into laughter and they almost choked or spit out the food they are eating. Meanwhile, Irene doesn't quite get what he said.
"I thought she thinks of me like Appa, you know, Aang's pet flying bison in Avatar the last airbender. The big flying thing.." James explained the reference to his girlfriend.
James is happy to see that the girls are laughing even for just a moment. It is nice for him to see those smiles again. And he also gladly accepts that Yeri is calling him as appa. He then spend some time with the girls, to cheer them up as well.
..
..
About an hour later..
James had just arrived in his condo. He went to a night market to buy something before he went home. James head straight to the kitchen to unpacked the food he bought. It is a raw liver, one of the food that Jonghyun likes to eat. He then went to the fridge and get a bottle of soju.
James is about to go to the living room to turn on the music player when he found himself just standing there looking at the empty living room. He then remembers all those times he spend with Jonghyun. He can visualize Jonghyun sitting in the sofa, waiting for him as he gets some snacks. It feels like those memories were just yesterday. Instead of turning the music player, James just turns on the the lights in the living room because Jonghyun loves the lightings.
James went back to the kitchen to open the bottle of soju and pours some in the shot glass. He drinks it and sliced a piece of the raw liver, dipped it in soy sauce and eat it. For some reason, it doesn't taste the same. It tastes more delicious when he is eating it with Jonghyun. He then pours himself another shot and drinks it. James is pouring another round when he suddenly felt someone just patted his right shoulder...
James quickly turns around and saw nothing. A smile appears on his face while a single tear runs down to his face. He then gets the glass of soju and raised it in the air.. "Hyung, I'm gonna miss you~".
.
.
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To be continued...
**
Sorry for a late update. This is another hard chapter to write. I mean really hard. I actually have to rewrite everything to make it less sad. And sorry also if this chapter is more on the emotional side rather than the usual happy ones. Don't worry, we will be back to that one :)
Also, another reason why it's a late chapter, I celebrated my birthday and of course mother's day during the weekend. So the only thing I did during the weekends was cooking and sleeping, hehe.
Anyways, I will try to finish the next chapter as soon as possible. Hopefully I can publish it by the weekend. Thank you again for waiting! :)
Stay safe everyone :)