"It's ready, right?" Meredith wondered aloud. "It's okay-?"
"Ugh, yeah, sure, if the birthday boy is five years old," Cristina quipped, her eyebrow raised skeptically as she took in the balloons, shiny aliens and flying saucers. They had emptied her whole storage room and the attic. "Which would mean you've committed a statutory rape night after night- or night and day more like-"
Meredith only shrugged off smugly. "Anyway, who did you invite?"
"There was a specific list?" snorted Cristina. "I've just spread the word."
"Spreading the word is fine but I don't want any trouble," sighed Meredith. "D'you know if Alex wants to come?"
"Probably, you think he ever missed an occasion to fish for free beer?" she laughed. "Don't worry about your boy, I doubt Shepherd will mind. He's probably grateful for that nosebleed, it got you babysitting him and ultimately screwing him."
Meredith shrugged with a lazy self-satisfied smile on her lips. "Whatever."
"Or maybe- it's more than just screwing-?" Cristina trailed off questioningly.
"Maybe," Meredith said non-commitally.
Her best friend froze in her tracks, grabbing her arm. "Mer-" she whispered, her head moving gently from side to side as though in a disapproving shake.
"What?" Meredith tried to ignore the expression on her face and keep the level of her nervousness under control. She was only this close from losing it all.
"You know what, Mer," Cristina kept her gaze steadily at her. "It's getting serious-"
"I don't harp on you and Owen-"
"Owen's moving to Rachel," Cristina cut her off swiftly, keeping her voice as quiet as possible. "Derek isn't. I just don't want to see you hurt, I don't want to get your hopes up."
"I am not," Meredith rolled her eyes laughing. "If anyone has unrealistic expectations, it's Derek. I'm barely giving him anything."
"So let me get this straight- You're giggly and- all head over heels- and then he goes back to New York and it's over?"
"Pretty much," shrugged Meredith.
"Mer, are you listening to yourself?" Cristina's voice was a mixture of pity, impatience and worry. "You think you can invest your feelings and then just switch them off like that?"
"No, I don't," Meredith answered calmly, surprising her best friend. "I know I'm gonna miss him, a lot, more than I'd like to but-"
"But?"
"It's going to be hard- because-" Meredith gave out a little chuckle, "I grew to care for him in a way I thought I couldn't any more or- didn't know how to. But I can- and I'm truly grateful to him for proving me wrong."
"I don't think I'm gonna like what I hear next..."
"Whatever I had with Mitch," Meredith's voice was so low Cristina could barely hear it in the bustle around. "It was my first fully-fledged relationship, I was engaged, for god's sake! Or I thought I was- I don't want to go through it all again. That's why I know that even though seeing Derek leave will be hard, trying to build a long-term relationship with him would be even harder."
"Mer-"
"Don't," Meredith shook her head firmly. "I know what I'm saying. I would- I would be comparing Derek to Mitch- I would compare- everything- the words, the looks, the dates- Neither Derek nor I deserve that."
"McDreamy is not Mitch," Cristina sighed defeatedly. "He has the hair and all- but he's real."
"First, you didn't even know Mitch. Second, I don't really get you," Meredith laughed softly though her throat was burning slightly. "You were just haranguing me about Derek and now you're pushing me into him again?"
"I- I don't," Cristina dropped her arms to her sides. "I don't know what to do or say anymore because it seems you're going to get hurt regardless."
"I'll be fine," Meredith smiled at her reassuringly. "Right now- I'm happy. And I'll be fine."
Cristina seemed willing to argue the point but one of her cooks successfully interrupted her.
"Boss, Dr. Grey," Mack hurried to them, "Dr. Shepherd's coming!"
"Turn off the lights!" chuckled Meredith hushing everyone. The restaurant plunged into darkness and everyone stilled in silence.
**********************************************************************************
This was one of his worst birthdays ever. The one following his father's death could have topped that but the day so far was nothing short of miserable and pathetic. He subsequently answered the calls from all of his sisters, mother and Mark. However, he hadn't felt this lonely for a long time. Meredith, the person he wanted to spend that day with, was not with him. She didn't even have any idea it was a special day for him.
He didn't hold it against her, she was at Cristina's trying to reconcile with her best friend. He got that, the snarky innkeeper was Meredith's person. She understood her without words, which was quite a feat in itself as Meredith was one of the most complicated people he had ever met. He had been a tad surprised this morning to hear that Yang was not talking to Meredith. He hoped the twisted sisters managed to get over their misunderstanding. Maybe he would even be able to save something of the birthday evening.
With a hopeful sigh he directed himself down the main road to the inn.
"Evening, gentlemen," he nodded at the group of men when he reached Under The Alien.
"Doc."
He couldn't help noticing that their greeting was less than enthusiastic and they barely looked up from their beer bottles. A tiny frown creased his forehead, he was one hundred percent sure he didn't do anything gossip worthy as of late. Shrugging he went into the inn, registering with another surprise that it was unusually quiet. It should be bursting both with tourists (it was the peak of the season) and locals alike (Saturday night). It was bizarrely dark too, what the hell was going on?
"Meredith?" he called out. "Cristina?"
He made his way to the restaurant area having to feel the walls with his outstretched hands. The atmosphere was giving him the creeps.
"Anybody here?"
All of a sudden, the lights were up, blinding his eyes while his ears gave out under the deafening "Happy Birthday!" that tore off from dozens of throats. He blinked madly, glancing around in shock as people surrounded him from every side, clapping and beaming wildly. At long last, his searching eyes found hers, gentle and amused at his blatant confusion and bewilderment.
He felt his own face stretching in a gigantic smile as his feet carried him to Meredith holding an enormous birthday cake alit with many candles.
"Happy Birthday!"
"Happy Birthday, Dr. Shepherd!"
People shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder as he walked but he didn't really pay attention. His regard was fixed entirely on Meredith, just as hers was on him. A happy chuckle escaped his throat as his befuddled brain realized it was without a doubt all her doing. She was not mending her friendship with Cristina the whole day, she was preparing a surprise party for him.
"Hey, birthday boy," she said coyly as he stopped in front of her and the cake.
"Mer-" He had so many questions to ask, so many thank-yous to give but all he was able to utter right now was her name. For a moment all he could do was to bask in her warm smile and the twinkling of her eyes. Sometimes when she looked at him, he got a feeling as though she didn't see anything but him. As though something shifted in her feelings towards him around the time of their trip to Vegas. He always chastised himself immediately, she didn't love him, he should not forget about it. He came to terms with that fact, he had to. However, it couldn't stop him from hoping she would reciprocate his affections eventually. He had got further in their relationship that he ever thought possible already.
"Think of a wish," Meredith instructed him softly, "and blow the candles. All at once or your wish doesn't come true."
His face still all smiles, he pressed his eyes as tight as he could and wished, prayed even, to get his heart's desire. When he opened his eyes again he found Meredith looking at him attentively as though trying to read his mind, guess what he was thinking. He drew a deep breath and blew out all of the thirty-six candles to the cheers of the crowd.
"What did you wish for?" Meredith asked curiously.
"Can't tell you," he shook his in a fake apology, "or it doesn't come true."
She rolled her eyes, put away the cake onto a nearby table and did something he did not expect her to do. Before he could blink, she threw her arms around his neck and completely ignoring the growing catcalls from the party, whispered 'Happy Birthday, Derek' against his mouth to finally kiss him soundly. He was slightly shocked Meredith would kiss him like that in public so, there wasn't really another word to describe it, indecently. With tongue and all her womanly curves pressed snuggly against him. Hell, as her fingers weaved into his hair angling his head to please and pleasure him more he felt himself beginning to get overexcited. She must have sensed it before little Derek made his prominent appearance as she pulled back reluctantly pursing her lips.
"Do you want to get your present now?" she asked seductively, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Now now?" his throat was dry as he tried to lick his lips, furtively glancing at their audience.
"Yes, why not now?" she giggled and reached her hand behind her back. Cristina handed her something that turned out to be a flat package wrapped up in decorative paper with green aliens wishing happy birthday.
"Cake now!" shouted Cristina over their heads diverting everybody's attention away from the couple.
"I hope you like it," Meredith said passing Derek her gift and planting another warm kiss on his cheek.
"Thank, you, you little tease," he grinned tearing the paper impatiently. "What is it?"
"See for yourself," she bit on her lip, looking up at him expectantly.
As he got the rest of the paper out of the way he saw a framed black and white photo depicting a cowboy pouring a can of beer into a horse's mouth while a flying saucer streaked in the pale sky overhead.
He laughed wholeheartedly. "Is this genuine?" he chuckled.
"Cristina claims it is," she chuckled. "But that is not what's the most important here. You see these rocks in the background? You might not remember the spot but it's pretty close to where we got caught up in the storm- well, for the second time-"
"When we first kissed," he smiled knowingly.
"Yes," she whispered tenderly. "So, is this okay?"
"It's perfect, thank you," he expressed his gratitude pulling her into his arms. "How did you know it's my birthday?"
"I have my sources-" she trailed off teasingly cocking her head to a side, her eyes focusing on his lips once more. But before they could indulge in another kiss they were interrupted by two familiar voices.
"Iz, really, you see they're busy, I- I don't want to butt in-"
"Alex Karev, if you don't come here with me this instant, my legs will stay closed for the next month!" the blonde nurse threatened sassily.
Faced with such dreadful of an ultimatum, Alex let himself be steered in front of Meredith and Derek, his expression deeply pained as he met Derek's eye.
"I'm- I'm sorry, man," he stuttered out reluctantly, his short sentence punctured with numerous pauses to clear his throat. "For the nose, I mean. We just- have each other's backs here, you know? I hope- eh- no offence?" he looked at Derek imploringly.
"No offence," chuckled Derek putting his arm around Meredith. "It all worked out for the best after all."
"I bet," Alex smirked discreetly.
"Finally!" Izzie rolled her eyes with relief. "I've been trying to make him apologize to you for weeks. I felt awful after this incident. But he meant no harm really-"
Derek thought that it wasn't exactly the case, after all he was at the receiving end of that hit, not Izzie, and it certainly hurt like a bitch. However, this was not the time to hold grudges. He felt physically incapable of disliking anyone tonight. It was just too perfect. Meredith was at his side, open and available, having prepared a surprise for his benefit. That was all he could care about tonight.
"Oh, and we have a gift for you," Izzie beamed handing Derek a small package. "It's nothing grand, I didn't have time to look for something better since Mer told me only today. It's bath oils, thought you mind enjoy," she winked at them and dragged Alex to the table where Cristina was portioning the birthday cake.
"It's nice," Meredith smiled taking a whiff of the scent that was coming from the little box. "We can make use of it later tonight- while I give you another birthday present."
"I can't wait," he wiggled his eyebrows stealing a long kiss from her.
"Well, you need to be patient just a while longer, lots of people turned up for you- and for free drinks," she hinted.
He shook his head with a smile and raised his voice, "Free round for everyone, it's on me!"
The generous announcement was followed with thunderous applause and countless toasts to both Dr. Shepherd's and Dr. Grey's health. Meredith watched Derek mingle with the party guests, have his hand shaken over and over again, his cheeks swamped with kisses by the giggling ladies of all ages. She feigned a strict disapproving shake of her head when he turned to her apologetically. Being in the middle of it all, she felt a strange sense of contentment that was quite foreign to her.
Well, not exactly. She did experience emotions like this before. The image if Mitch dressed up in a fancy suit dancing with her at one of the parties they had attended together fleeted through her brain. She had thought herself this happy before-
She instantly felt like slapping herself. This was exactly what she had in mind when she talked to Cristina. She was already making comparisons that should never ever have popped in her head. She was relieved when someone pushed her against Derek to take a photo of them, she could blame the moistness in her eyes on the light of the flash exploding in front of her. As her eyelids fluttered she banished Mitch out of her mind. She would not be thinking about him tonight, this night was about Derek, about Derek and her. When he took her hand and asked her to dance disregarding his apparent lack of dancing skills, there was nothing in her apart from excitement about what was to come later.
**********************************************************************************
The party wound down several fun and laughter-filled hours later, at least for Meredith and Derek. There were still a lot of guests at the inn, dancing, drinking and singing until their cash ran out, or rather their sobriety.
Even Derek and Meredith were somewhat intoxicated as they made their way to the practice, their hands all over each other, laughter never disappearing from their lips. On a normal night, Meredith would be far more cautious with PDA. But this time she felt their slight stumbling, Derek's hand on her ass or the occasional brush of her leg against his hard bulge were excused. It was Derek's birthday, and it was also the day when Meredith Grey would expose her heart to a man again. If that wasn't enough of a justification, nothing was.
"Oh, thank God," Derek sighed with exaggerated relief as they reached the three little steps to the practice. She could tell he was really anxious for a release. She couldn't blame him, he must have been hard for ages.
They slowed down their pace and he rummaged his pocket a little uncoordinatedly for the key. Excitement, fear and exuberance flooded Meredith all at once. It was amazing how one person could experience so many contradicting emotions at the same time. But this was the moment, the moment she hoped would cure her or at least break the remains of her emotional chains. When should she do it? Now? Before they had sex? After? There were so many points in the programme of their private after party yet she couldn't quite establish the perfect time for THE moment-
"Derek-" she bit her lip, half-excited half-nervous, and tugged at his hand in an impulse.
"Mer?" he gave her a small frown.
"I- can we go to your place?" she asked in a small voice. She had initially planned to take him to the practice and engage him in what would have been a very dirty hot sex. She intended to play a strict doctor to him being a naughty patient but- it didn't feel right tonight somehow. She wanted to tell him things and she needed a different scenery for that.
"What? Why?" he inquired and pointed at his crotch, "It's getting a bit uncomfortable-"
"I know," she smiled apologetically, "I promise you won't regret it-"
It took his breath away when she battled her eyelashes, he felt he could do everything she asked him if she just gave him that look.
"I know I won't regret it" he murmured huskily and let her lead him away down the road towards William's house. The rest of the way stood as a blur in their memories. Seemingly in no time at all they were at another's door. Meredith didn't stop him as Derek pulled her in for a kiss even before going inside. She was drunk, no longer with alcohol, that kind of intoxication evaporated from her body thanks to the fresh night air. She was under a different spell this time, not only desire, lust...but also love. Derek was apparently not aware of her internal dilemmas. His tongue happily mated with hers, hot and demanding, as he groped behind her to open the door and let them both inside.
Bert, who was sleeping on the porch as usual, didn't even lift his head. Quite the contrary, he seemed to turn further away from the indecent pair and cover his ears with his paw. But it was enough even for the stoic dog when Derek's jacket landed on his head seconds later. With a little resigned growl, he trotted across the road to Miranda Bailey's backyard.
"You said something about another birthday present for me?" Derek murmured into her neck, pressing frenzied kisses onto her pulse point as his hands worked on the zipper of her dress, her green strapless dress that he assumed must have been Izzie's as it seemed just a bit loose on Meredith.
His suspicions were confirmed by her throaty whisper, "Careful, it's borrowed." Instead of allowing the material to fall down to the floor when the zipper was all the way down, she grabbed it around her middle and stepped out of it, wary not to hitch it with her pointed heels.
His body painful with ever increasing yearning, he watched her every sensual movement. She was standing in a pool of moonlight coming from the living room, as though illuminated just for him. He was sure she didn't even try to be sexy as she bent scooping up the dress and folding it on the small table in the hall. He stepped closer to her, hastily getting rid of his own clothes. She turned back to face him, her hair falling in waves over her face as she slowly slid her panties down her smooth legs and unhooked her bra freeing her glorious full breasts.
He mimicked her movements, shedding his boxers. However, when he was just about to lunge forward and sweep her into his arms, he noticed it was not solely desire that was making her hands tremble. He detected a tinge of nervousness, a note of stiffness in her body language.
"Meredith, is everything okay?" he asked delicately touching her forearms.
He saw her gulp. She opened her gorgeous lips undecidedly as though she was choosing what words to use.
"I- I'm not sure" she whispered with a tiny smile, her eyes wider than usual.
"Mer-" he started worriedly but she silenced him placing her forefinger against his lips. She took a deep breath, her lungs expanding to absorb as much air as she needed to utter those words, words so little and short but heavy in meaning. But it was the perfect moment, their perfect moment. There was nothing between them, no intangible or physical obstacle. They were a man and a woman, as bare as they were born, ready to become one in the supreme act of love.
"Derek-" her voice took a slightly quivering quality as she locked her hopeful eyes with his. "I love you-"
There, she said it. She exhaled profoundly but the burden was not yet lifted from her shoulders. She gauged his reaction. Maybe she did something wrong-? He was most certainly shocked. That was probably the last thing he expected to hear from her. Ever. His mouth was agape, his breathing shallow, the grip of his fingers on her forearms tighter.
"You...said...?" he stuttered.
"Yeah- I- I did," she fidgeted self-consciously.
"Why?" he demanded, his voice stronger, his eyes peering searchingly into hers.
"Why?" she repeated blankly, this was not exactly the reaction she hoped to achieve.
"Yes, why?" he repeated.
"What, don't you love me anymore?" she asked, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Of course I do," he frowned at her. "I just- Is this my birthday present?"
"I mean it," she stated, finally understanding his reservation. He didn't want her to say it just to make him feel better.
"Do you?" he breathed out desperately, closing the distance between them. He couldn't believe it was happening. He was hallucinating, drunk, imagining things. Meredith Grey would never fall in love with him, or at least would never tell him. And yet- Her big eyes seemed so trusting tonight. Maybe Rachel was a supernatural town after all? He made his wish over the birthday cake, he wished for Meredith to reciprocate his feelings, what else of course, and the wish was granted to him just a couple of hours later. It was difficult not to believe in a bigger scheme of things right now.
She nodded gently, not taking her eyes of his, confirming her previous declaration.
"I love you," he murmured hotly, his arms weaving around her, relief, power and exhilaration like he never felt before filling him to the brim.
"I love you too." He heard her feeble yet determined voice.
"Oh, my God," he choked out sealing their vows of love with a lingering kiss. He felt like crying. He wasn't the only one though. Meredith sensed the familiar burning in her throat and even before they pulled away for air, a tear escaped down her cheek.
It seemed that neither of them knew what else could be said in the silent darkness of the hall. Any further confessions or explanations would have to wait. No other word was spoken as their bodies became two flames dancing together in the fire of their love, sizzling and burning. They didn't even know how or when they found themselves tightly entwined sitting on the rug covering the floor in the hall. However, for the first time, as Derek slid in her warmth, they were both deeply aware it was love they were making.