Andante con Brio

XXXIX

The group was quietly walking through the jungle, back towards the cable car. Eddy's arms were very sore and his thighs were burning, but to be honest he had been feeling pretty good about himself. Between what had happened last night and him scaling that rock today? He had had worse days, he really had. But the twins were leading the way again, of course, and Brett was right behind them, about twenty metres ahead of him. He seemed deep in discussion with Ian about something music, he had no idea what. Look, as far as Eddy could tell he hadn't given the the twins a second glance, but surely he could see their muscular bums quite well from where he was?
Shit.
Plus, Lily was still very, very quiet as she walked a bit further up the path with Matt next to her. Eddy wished he had some idea if she was okay. 
"You did good, Eddy!" Todd said suddenly from his left side, shaking Eddy out of his worries. He looked at him with a bit of surprise.
What, no joke, Todd?
"Thanks. You too, you got up there in no time."
Todd grinned. "Yeah, well, I'd done it before."
Eddy looked at his friend appraisingly. He liked Todd's jokes, a lot. But he also liked when he was quiet, like this, when it was just the two of them. Like it had been all those years ago on a train, when he had talked to him about being in love with Brett and he had helped him put a whole bunch of stuff into perspective. 
Plus, he had something to ask Todd, something he had been wanting to ask for a while, something he couldn't ask Brett. But he hadn't found the moment before, or he had been hesitant, awkward. Like he was being now. But he had scaled that rock, right? So couldn't he ask a simple question? 
"What's eating you, Eddy?"
Todd's face was calm and open and Eddy could see he meant it. So he cleared his throat shyly. 
"Erm. Right, well, I do have a question. If I can. Erm..."
"Mate! Just say it, you know I won't bite."
Eddy looked away for a moment. They were getting closer to the crevice where they would find the cable car. There was time, though. 
Seize the moment, mate. 
"Okay. Erm. I wanted to ask you. What... when... when do you lose your virginity, as a guy, with a guy?"
Shit, he had actually said it. He scrunched his eyes firmly shut for a second. Was Todd going to laugh at him? Was he going to find his question ridiculous?
But Todd didn't laugh, he just looked at him very seriously and nodded. 
"You've been worrying about that?" 
"Erm, to be honest, yeah, some."
Todd smiled, but it wasn't a mocking smile. It was a kind smile. 
"I wouldn't worry too much, Eddy. I think opinions vary a lot on this. There may be some guys who say that it isn't until you've... well... gone all the way with a guy. But I don't think so."
Eddy blinked and held his breath. "Okay. So what do you think?"
"Well, I personally think that anything between two guys that's intimate and where you... you know, you climax, I guess, is sex. So I guess I'd say that's when you lose it."
Eddy looked down at the ground as he processed this. The path they were walking on was basically just earth, packed very closely together by millions of crossing feet, with the occasional tree root growing all the way to the other side. He stepped on a particularly fat root with his right foot and groaned softly. God, he was sore. Then he looked up and smiled somewhat awkwardly at his friend. He guessed Todd had a point, and what he had said was pretty much what Google had told him. Still, he kind of wished there had been a clearer answer than this. 
Todd narrowed his eyes. 
"Look, Eddy, seriously. You and Brett, you're for all intents and purposes hitched. It doesn't get more intimate than that, no matter what you do at night."
Eddy didn't really know what to say to that. Hitched? Is that how Todd saw them? He had to say that that had a seriously nice ring to it. They walked along in silence for a moment until Todd scraped his throat and carried on. 
"Look. I don't want to step into territory where I don't belong, here. But you know you don't have to do anything to reach any sort of standard, right? You make your relationship the way you guys want to."
Oh. Sometimes.... it really was amazing, the way Todd could answer the question you had never known to ask. And suddenly he had to wonder about his great friend. How many people would ever get to see Todd like this? Had he ever been like this with any of his boyfriends? Who else in the world was allowed to see past the bravado? Should he... should he tell him? 
"Thanks a lot, Todd. I really appreciate it."
"Any time, mate."