"Good Morning"! Jay yelled as he walked into the kitchen. "There's the birthday boy"! I smiled. "Sixty- five candles on one cake. This is a big day for you. . " Manny began, "And for the astronauts who can see it from space" I joked.
Jay let out a chuckle at my joke, "Happy birthday to you" Gloria smiled as she pulled Jay in for a hug. "Thank you. And it just so everyone knows, I want a quiet day. . .no surprises" Jay yelled walking to the other end of the kitchen. "No surprises" Me and Gloria repeated. I sighed looking at Gloria. Last night I found out some real big news...Gloria is pregnant! So, Jay only one surprise for you today, sorry.
"I don't blame you, Jay" Manny shrugged, "You've had enough excitement in one lifetime" I laughed, "The dawn of flight, printed books, agriculture" Manny rambled, "Alright what's with all the jokes"? Jay asked, "It's insult comedy. I've been watching old Dean Martin roasts online. Like this guy knows from the internet, the other morning I saw him looking for the crank on the front of his car" Manny teased.
"Okay, you're done" Jay sighed, "I make fun and we laugh, but in all seriousness, if you see a light today, don't walk towards it" Manny joked, me and Gloria couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry I was asleep when you got home. Cam and Mitch must be disappointed. They were really geared up to get that kid" Jay frowned.
"But there's a silver lining" Gloria smiled, "You might be right, babies are a lot of work" Jay huffed, the doorbell rang, "That's not what she meant" I mumbled. "Ah, you know, and these two aren't getting any younger. The last thing they need to do is to start over" Jay announced, "Would that be so bad"? Gloria asked. Jay opened the door and Phil, Shorty and another one of his friends.
"Hey, Jay" Phil waved, "Hey" The other two waved, "What are you doing"? Jay questioned. "What the heck is that"? Phil pointed to something on the stairs, "What"?! Jay yelled turning around. "Get him"! Phil yelled putting a gray bag over Jay's head, "What the hell is going on?! What are you doing"?! Jay muffled yells called.
"Making your birthday dreams come true"! Phil yelled tying Jay's arms with zip ties. "It's you're special day buddy, should we put him in the trunk"? Shorty asked, "Why would we put him in the trunk"? Phil asked, "You said there were no bad ideas" Shorty frowned, "Get this stupid thing off me"! Jay yelled.
"I thought you said the hood would calm him down"?! Phil yelled, "It works with my falcon" The other friend stated, I just stopped dead in my tracks as me and Gloria watched the whole thing happen, "Don't worry ladies. We'll have him back in time for dinner" Shorty smiled, "Which for him is at four in the afternoon" Manny chuckled, "'Cause he's old! I love it"! Phil laughed.
---
Me and Gloria were sat in the kitchen making sandwiches, "Mom, I have a really big decision to make about poetry camp this summer" Manny announced, "Is it about the walking sticks again" I frowned, "Pack them all decide when you're there" Gloria suggested. "I can either focus on sonnets or free verse. I've always fancied myself a sonneteer. But I'm thinking the free verse girls will br freer with everything...if you catch my meaning" Manny smirked, "Gross" I gagged.
"Hmm, I'm sorry Manny...I'm sure you'll make the right decision" Gloria frowned, "Are you okay? You seem distracted" Manny asked, I looked at Gloria as I shuffled in my seat uncomfortably, Gloria looked at me and looked at Manny, "Manny sit down, I have to tell you something" Gloria ordered, "What"? Manny questioned, "I am pregnant" Gloria smiled. "You're what"? Manny gasped, "I am going to have a baby" Gloria squealed pointing to her tummy, "Wow" Manny frowned.
"What? You're not happy"? Gloria frowned, "Yeah, sure. It's just a lot to take in. And I'll be honest, this isn't coming at a great time for me, with everything I've got going on" Manny panicked, "It's not you're responsibility" Gloria shrugged, "Neither is our wooden salad bowl, but I'm the only one who oils it, without me that thing would soak up dressing like a sponge" Manny huffed. "Manny I can take care of a baby. I took care of you" Gloria whined.
"Please, I was an anomaly, I self-potty trained" Manny sassed, "Did you know"? Manny asked looking at me, I gulped down on my orange juice, "Um-" I began, "Julie, was actually the first person to know" Gloria shrugged, "How did Jay take it"? Manny asked, "I haven't been able to tell him yet" Gloria sighed, "He might not be too thrilled" Manny frowned.
"Do you think? I was starting to wonder the same thing" Gloria nodded, "I mean he doesn't deal well with change" I frowned, "I know, he still checks the front step for the evening paper" Gloria sighed, "Don't worry, Gloria. I'm sure he'll adapt" I smiled. "Although he still does call the remote the 'clicker'" Manny added, "Ay, yeah" Gloria sighed hugging me and and Manny.
---
All the Dunphy's except from Phil we're at the house, we were waiting for Jay to get back from Phil, Shorty and some other guys fishing session. "Sure...Maybe I had a little peppermint schnapps at my prom, but I did it for my parents and I kicked my boyfriend out before they woke up, it's called respect" Claire complained, she was rambling about something Haley had done, as usual.
"I'm pregnant" Gloria blurted out, "You're gonna get fat" Claire gasped, me and Gloria pulled the 'Really'? face at her. "You-Oh! I mean...That's great. It's great. You're pregnant! It's great! Congratulations! Wow..."! Claire gasped hugging Gloria, "It was a surprise" I smiled, "I bet, what did my Dad say"? Claire asked. "I haven't told him yet, I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news" Gloria frowned "Oh, no. Don't be silly. He's gonna be thrilled" Claire smiled.
I walked into the living room, whilst Manny and Luke were playing pool. "I've gotta say" Luke began, "Yeah" Manny sighed, whenever Luke said that, it meant nothing good. "You're handling this baby thing better than I would've expected" Luke smirked, "What do you mean"? Me and Manny asked, "You used to being the only two kids in the house, now there's going to be a new kids, Jay's and your Mom's kid" Luke smirked.
"So"? I shrugged grabbing a pool stick, "Well, the old Manny and Julie would've been worried, that Jay would love the new kid more" Luke added, "I think you're underestimating how adorable we both are" I smiled. "You're right, you're both way cuter than a baby...I'm gonna go check on dinner" Luke teased, "We will be cuter than the baby right"? Manny asked, "Sure..." I frowned.
Manny and I walked into the kitchen were Gloria was, "Mom, I've decided I'm not going to poetry camp" Manny frowned, "What? Why not"? Gloria questioned, "Because by the time we both get back from our camps, Jay will have turned one of our rooms into a nursey" Manny sighed, "No, he won't" Gloria defended, "I'm not his real kid. I'll be as insignificant as a whisper in a windstorm" Manny frowned. "Oh, listen to you, Manny you have gift, go to your camp" I smiled, "You have to go to the poetry camp"! Gloria chuckled, "I don't think I can risk it" Manny frowned.
"Manny please. I have too much to worry about right now. Okay" Gloria sighed, "You? I dug myself a pretty big hole for myself with those insult jokes this morning. Why didn't I learn from Rickles? You gotta end with some ticker"! Manny yelled. It was about half and hour later, "We're back"! Phil announced walking through the door, "Birthday Boy's here" I smiled, "Hey Jay, you're all wrinkled" I frowned, "Yeah, yeah, I'm old. I get it" Jay huffed.
"No, I mean your clothes" I smiled, "Yeah, when I was your age I was wearing animal skins. BAM! you got me" Jay sighed, "No, I think BAM! You got yourself. I'm just expressing my concern" I smiled, "Let me guess...about my bone density. You know you're a real smart-ass"! Jay huffed, "At this rate, I'll be living in the basement" Manny sighed, "Lucky" Dylan sobbed.
"Dad? Dad, okay, quick. Just come here one second" Claire whispered, "Yeah, we gotta tell you something, a loved one will tell you some really important special news" I smiled, "And for the first time in your life, we need you to react nicely" Claire whisper yelled, "I always react nicely" Jay whisper yelled back, I gave him the 'Really'? face, "God, you've been hanging around with Gloria too much" Jay laughed.
"You never react nicely, this person in question is very vulnerable right now, so could you please be supportive and loving"? Claire begged, Mitch, Lily and Uncle Cam walked in, "Hi"! Mitch waved giving Jay a hug, "Hey, atta boy" Jay smiled as he hugged him back, "Sorry were late but it's for a good reason...we're thinking about getting a cat" Uncle Cam announced.
"Really"?! I squealed, "Well, isn't that wonderful? I'm thrilled for you both this is a heck of a decision. You have my full support" Jay smiled, "What-" I whispered, "Okay" Mitch nodded uneasily, no one was use to Jay being so kind and...nice.
"I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family, I know I'll love the heck out the little bugger, as will Julie, I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous" Jay sighed pointing to Stella who was lead on the stairs, but Manny was also in that direction, "Manny...not you" I mouthed to him but, it was too late, "Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands! In the shadow of you're new baby"! Manny yelled.
"What's he talking about"? Jay asked looking to me, I shrugged, "He's talking about, I am pregnant" Gloria frowned, "Oh, come on"! Mitch gasped, "Pregnant"? Uncle Cam questioned, "You gotta be kidding me"?! Jay yelled, "Oh, gross I didn't know Grandpa could still do it" Luke whispered, "Luke" I huffed, "Don't be disrespectful Luke, anyone can do it with Gloria" Phil whispered back.
"And if you're too set on your old ways, to be happy about it, I can raise it on my own! I have done it before and I can do it now! I come from a very long line of strong Latin woman, whose husbands are nowhere to be found"! Gloria yelled, "Are you done"? Jay asked, "Yes"! Gloria answered. "Can I say something"? Jay asked, "Go on"! Gloria yelled. "That's the greatest news I've ever heard" Jay huffed.
"It is"? Gloria questioned, I couldn't tell but was Jay crying? "I spent the day hearing about what my future had in store for me, and I didn't like one bit of it, felt like my life was ending, and now you're telling me that I get to have a new start...with the woman of my dreams...I think I'm gonna cry" Jay's voice cracked. "I'm way ahead of you" Phil sobbed, "Can you believe this"? Uncle Cam whispered, "I know they wouldn't even let us get a cat" Mitch frowned. "It's gonna be great"! I squealed, "I'm gonna get so fat"! Gloria cried, "Mostly great" I smiled hugging Gloria.
---
A few months later, Gloria's bump had grown bigger and we we're all at the house once again, Gloria and Jay we're hugging, "Ugh! Gross they're at it again" Luke sighed, "If you don't like it don't look" Jay laughed. "She looks great doesn't she" Phil smiled, "Yeah, not really gaining weight the way I would've expected" Claire shrugged, "I finally understand why people say pregnant women glow" Phil smiled. "Phil, I have three children"! Claire frowned, "Hey, Dad, Gloria open our present" Mitch smiled.
Lily walked over carrying a green present, "Ooh, I hope it's something fancy" Gloria giggled, she pulled out a vest with the U.K flag on it, "Ooh, It's for the baby! I love it" Gloria gasps, "We got it a shop at Heathrow. Duty Free" Uncle Cam smiled as he said it in a bad British accent, "Ha, not for long" Luke laughed. "Isn't it absolutely brilliant"? Uncle Cam asked.
"Okay, we were in London two weeks, lose the accent, Madonna" Mitch joked, "Why's your face all scratched up"? I asked, "Stupid Larry" Mitch scoffed, Larry was their new cat, Lily named him. "This feels so weird" Haley giggled as she put a bowl under her shirt, pretending she was pregnant, "It suits you" Dylan added. "Don't even joke about it"! Claire huffed snatching the bowl, "That's it, he is moving out of the house tomorrow" Claire mumbled, "Really"? Phil frowned, "Oh, and the beard's going" Claire added.
"Fine, but it's gonna kill Shorty" Phil shrugged, "Okay...everybody let's gather together. Manny's gonna read us a little something that he prepare in his poetry camp...and then Julie will sing us a song, she learnt in music camp" Gloria smiled, "Thank you, Mom" Manny thanked, "Thank you Gloria" I smiled. "This is for our new baby brother or sister" We both announced, I looked at Manny and nodded, "Welcome little one, open your eyes and take your place, this is where you're meant to be, nestled in the bosom of your mother-" Manny began.
"Lucky baby" Phil whispered, "What"? Claire questioned, "Love you, baby" Phil cleared his throat, "This where you're meant to be, in the arms of your father. His long, long journey has readied him for this day, though his skin may be loose, his hair but a wisp, and eyes with milky with age-" Manny carried on, "Alright we're done here"! Jay huffed snatching the book off Manny. "Let's get a drink" Jay cheered.
Baby Here We Come!