Bellas P.O.V
It's been 2 weeks now that I've had the feeling things are going to change. I've been observing the family more and more lately. Everyone's relationship seems different than mine and edwards. Although Jasper and Alice's relationship also seems different than the others, but in a different way.
They still take eachothers opinions and wants into consideration, they just don't seem as "in love" as the others.
I really want to talk to someone and ask exactly what being mated feels like, I just don't know who to ask.
Rosalie appreciated me going to save edward and said thank you, but I can tell she still doesn't truly like me. My silly brother bear Emmett is just honestly to immature.
Edward won't tell me, although I'm not exactly sure why. I thought he'd be happy to tell me, to prove that I am his mate and the woman he wants forever.
I don't think Alice will tell me because Edward won't like it. I swear sometimes I think those two are hiding things on purpose. They have their own private conversations and go hunting together by themselves alot.
Jasper would probably tell me, if I could get close to him without everyone else around. I feel a need to be near him and get to know him but I don't get a chance. For some reason I think edward and Alice are keeping us apart on purpose.
The only Cullen I have a feeling will be honest with me is Carlisle. The question is how am I going to get the chance to speak to him privately. I could fake an injury and go to the hospital, but most likely be accompanied by Edward.
At least Alice won't be able to see my decision to talk to Carlisle. Ever since we came back from Volterra she has not been able to see my future. It started out as blurriness and then went to complete blackness. Meaning she can't see me at all. I'm actually very happy about it.
"Love are you ok? You've been staring out the window blankly for awhile now?"edward asked. Apparently finally getting my attention.
"Uh?.......I mean yea. I'm fine. I was just thinking."
"What about?" Asks Alice.
"Everything. Graduation is only weeks away and I guess it's now just hitting me." I lied. They both nod their heads and go into one of their annoying silent conversations. I think they bought my lie, which surprises me because I am a horrible liar. I know one person doesn't believe my lie, Jasper. I can feel his gaze on me, but I refuse to look at him, no matter how much I want too.
The cafeteria is alot noisier today than usual. Mostly because they chose the valedictorian this morning. Who is the valedictorian, You ask? It's Jessica Stanley. Insane right, you'd think because she's the school gossip queen and acts like a dumb blonde that she's stupid. Apparently she is far from it. I'm happy for her, im just still a little shocked. I thought for sure it would be Angela or Eric Yorkie, they are both incredibly smart.
The sound of the bell signaling lunch to be over brought me out of my head. Gathering my backpack off the floor I look up to see edward already standing waiting for me. He used to hold out his hand and help me up, but now he never does. We walk to biology in silence. I really did not know what to say to him, so I decided to just say nothing.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on slowly. I still had no idea how I was going to sneak away to see Carlisle, and it is just frustrating.
Walking out of the gym I see edward waiting for me, as usual. The walk to the parking lot is filled with silence, until finally he spoke.
"Love Alice and I are going hunting. We aren't going far. Do you want to come to the house, or go home? I can have Emmett come to your house until we return."
This may be my only opportunity to go see Carlisle. So I quickly think up a lie and hope he buys it. "It's OK babe. I was thinking about going to see my dad. I haven't been to the station in awhile, so I'll just stay there until you return then meet you back at my house. Just call or text me when your done hunting."
Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose edward replied "Bella I think going to my house would be safer. I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Edward I'll be fine. It's only for a few hours. I'll be safe with my dad. He won't let anything happen to me" I replied in annoyance. He's really getting on my last nerve.
"OK love. I'll see you in a few hours. Just please be careful. Call me if you need me and I'll be here right away. I'll let you know when I'm done."
With that said he gave me a light kiss on the head and walked to his volvo where his family was waiting. I saw Jasper give me a curious look out of the corner of my eye, while getting in my truck. He can feel that I'm being deceitful, I just hope he doesn't say anything about it.
Pulling out of my parking space and out of the parking lot, I head to the hospital. I seriously hope that Carlisle will tell me what I need to know.
Fifteen minutes later I pull into the hospital parking lot. I pass right by the receptionist and head to Carlisle's office, hoping he is not busy. I reach his office and knock, releasing my breath when he tells me to enter.
"Hello Bella dear. What can I help you with? Are you hurt? Do you need me to call Edward?"
Closing the door and sitting in one of the chairs in front of him I say "No Carlisle, I'm fine. I'm not injured. I just have a question that I wanted to ask you. You know alot more about vampires than the rest of your family."
He looks at me curiously and says with a chuckle "well I have been one for alot longer than the others. What is your question dear?"
"I was just wondering about mates. What are you supposed to feel when your mated to someone?"
"Why do you want to know that?" He asked hesitantly.
"I was just wondering if everything I feel is because of me being edwards mate. I know you guys feel alot more than humans do, and I just wanted to know if humans can feel the things you guys do when you find your mate." Please Carlisle, help me out here.
He was still looking at me curiously. After a minute he seemed to think it was a safe enough question. Thank god he can't read my mind or feel my emotions, because he'd know it's not just simple curiousity.
"Well Bella" he started. "When we find our mates you know as soon as you look into eachothers eyes. When you touch you feel an electric shock, that I guess becomes like a current the entire time your touching one another. It's very difficult to be separated for any length of time from your mate. When your apart you get this pulling sensation in your chest. It's a painful sensation, and stays that way until your near each other again".
"Oh" I said. "Do you feel a pull when you first meet your mate, even before you touch or realize your mates? I think that's what happened to me, now that I think about it. It probably wasn't near as strong as your pull to Esme though." Please don't see through my lie. Well, it wasnt 100% a lie. I feel a pull in my chest, it's just not to Edward and it's not "what happened" to me, it's "whats happening" to me.
"That's exactly what I felt to Esme when I found her. I felt a pull in my chest, I just didn't know what it was back then. I thought it was just because she needed my help. I soon after learned the real reason. And yes you can feel the mating pull even as a human, it's just not as strong." He said happily.
"Hmmm....that's cool. I'm glad that I felt it. And that I now know what it was. Thanks Carlisle."
"Your welcome dear. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Hmm..." was there anything else I wanted to know. This might be my only chance to get the answer. I started going through all my earlier thoughts and came back to Edward being so controlling of me.
Then I thought about his eyes turning black at times being close to me. He seems to be even more controlling after an episode of him wanting my blood. I remember hearing how Emmett came across his singer and how he couldn't control himself. I wonder if anyone was with him, if they would have been able to stop him.
Not likely, since vampires are very protective of their food. With that thought running through my mind, something just clicked. Maybe the reason Edward was so controlling of me was because I'm his singer and he wants the smell of my blood constantly around him. He's not in love with me, he's in love with my blood! I needed to figure out how they acted around their food.
"I do have one more question."
"What is it Bella?"
Now how do I word this correctly without him getting suspicious.....hmmmm....
"I asked edward how vampires are around their food when they hunt, but he won't tell me. I was curious because I just wanted to know how I was going to be when I am changed. I don't want to hurt anyone and I just want to know what to expect. Maybe then I can change it, or at least try to prepare myself."
He looked a little shocked at my question, but quickly recovered. "Well when we hunt we let our instincts take over. You probably won't have to worry about it, seeing as though we separate and hunt only with our mates. If anyone other than your mate is with you, it could turn into a fight over the blood of your prey. I guess we are protective because we go into a bloodlust haze when we smell blood and we become so thirsty that we have to drink blood right then and there. It's difficult to explain. I only know that vampires will do anything to protect their meal from anything and everything."
"Makes sense" I said. I looked over at the clock on his wall and realized I'd been here for an hour and a half. I need to get home to start cooking for Charlie. "Thank you for telling me all of this Carlisle. No one else would saturate my curiousity." I said smiling.
He smiled in return and said "your welcome Bella. I suppose I shouldn't mention this to edward. He will most likely get angry."
"Probably for the best" I said. "Besides he thinks I'm with my dad at the station. It just gets frustrating sometimes, wanting to be a vampire and having no one help you understand what you want to become."
"I understand Bella. Just be careful getting home. I won't tell Edward."
"Thank you. Bye Carlisle." I said rising from the chair and walking to the door.
"Goodbye Bella."
I gave him a nod and a smile as I closed the door to his office and headed back to my truck. Once safely inside the cab I thought over everything that was said. I had a lot of things to figure out.
OK so how is it so far? I think I'm doing good but i am a little bias since it's me who's writing this. Anyways feel free to comment your opinions. If you think i should add anything specific to this book than let me know. :) thank you so much for reading.
ALL CHARACTERS AND MOST PLACE SETTINGS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.