Realizations

Bellas P.O.V.

It's been 2 months since Alice and I stopped Edward from exposing himself to the humans in Volterra, in order to die by the hands of the Volturi. At first everything seemed to go back to how it was, I felt whole again. After I brought up my change to Edward, things started to change. He became a little too overprotective, jealous and an all around pain in my ass!

FLASHBACK:

We were in my house cuddling on the couch, Charlie was still at work.

"Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"When do you think is a good time to change me? Maybe....After graduation?"

"*sigh*.......Bella I am not going to be responsible for turning you into a monster. I'm not going to be changing you."

"But you told the Volturi that you would change me. That's the only reason we are still alive. They will kill me if you don't change me".

" There are always ways to keep the Volturi in the dark love. Alice will see when they decide to come for us, and I will hide you. I'm pretty sure Demetri cannot find you. They will never harm you."

"Your joking right?....Please tell me your joking?"

"I refuse to end your life Bella. This conversation is over."

End Flashback

Ever since that day, I can't be out of Edwards sight. When he hunts someone always has to stay behind to "Bella-sit". He controls everything that I do. What I eat, wear, say, and most importantly who I hang out with. I am forbidden to see Jake, even though he kept me safe after he left me.

He doesn't like me hanging out with any of my friends from school, that somehow managed to forgive me for becoming depressed and antisocial for the months Edward and his family left. He doesn't seem to mind Angela, but only when we're in school.

Outside of school I always have to be with him. It's really starting to piss me off. I know that Jasper can feel how mad I am at Edward, but thankfully he doesn't bring it up to anyone. I'm really starting to wonder if what everyone says about me being Edwards mate is true.

I have noticed certain things about each mated pairs relationship in the family. Carlisle and Esme discuss everything, and constantly ask eachothers opinions. All edward does is dismiss my opinions and tell me what he thinks is best for me.

Rosalie and Emmett are always touching, whether it be holding hands, kissing or just sitting close to eachother. Chaste kisses and hand holding are all I get.

There are still days that Edwards eyes turn black with bloodlust and he has to distance himself from me alittle. I can tell he thinks I don't notice, but I do. I'm much more observant than he gives me credit for.

Like at my stupid 18th birthday party, I saw his eyes turn black after I cut my finger. I also saw him start to turn towards me like he was going to attack me. Everyone thinks that it was jasper who was going to attack me, but when he took a step towards me his eyes were still the honey golden color that I have come to love.

Of course that all changed after Edward pushed me into the table with the plates and cake on it, because he thought jasper was coming to attack me. But honestly can you blame him? I sure as hell cant.

Jasper felt everyone's bloodlust on top of his own, not to mention I'm the singer to one of them, so of course he tried to come after me. No vampire, even the most controlled would have been able to resist that temptation.

I have been curious to why exactly jasper of all people tried to save me, but so far I have not been able to find out. I've been having this feeling lately that something is going to change, whether it's good or bad, I do not know. But I guess in time I will figure it out.

I apologize for the short chapter. I'm still sorting my ideas out. I will try to make the next one longer. I really hope it was ok. Again any feedback would be wonderful. Thank you!!

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, MOST PLACE SETTINGS AND SOME DIALOGUE, STEPHANIE MEYER DOES.