[ chapter 6 ]
september 10, 2020
8:00 p.m
manhattan, new york
- - - - -
I never released our song. It's been a little over a month since I last talked to Ariana, and I never released the song we worked on.
Save Your Tears.
I couldn't bring myself to. It just didn't feel right. We weren't on good terms. Why would I basically use her popularity for plays when we weren't even on a platonic talking basis.
I sure did keep it, though. It's been stuck in that USB, tucked at the bottom of one of my dressers for a while now.
I missed her. I can't lie.
But, every time I remember why exactly we're not talking, I still get angry. If it wasn't for her negative response to confrontation, I probably would be completely over it by now.
but i'm not.
I supported her silently, from a distance. She's been pretty silent lately unless it was about her previous album and her new Netflix movie, broadcasting one of her sweetener tour shows. I watched it. I was impressed, to say the least. Very well put together; just like her tour.
Oh! And her engagement to Dalton Gomez. Took me by surprise just as much as it did for the rest of the world. It saddened me that they were taking such a big step. But a part of me had a hunch it was all a stunt.
Let me explain.
When I basically "dropped" Ariana, the assumptions and rumors of her and I dating got worse. Predictably, it got to a point where at least one of us had to do something. Say something. Try to calm the internet down.
So, Ariana came out to the public about her and Dalton's months long relationship. People didn't believe it at first, thinking it was just a PR relationship to cover up her and I.
Then things got serious. Constant posts of each other. He even starred in her song with Justin Bieber, 'Stuck With You'.
Not even a week later, she posted a picture on Instagram of her engagement ring. The entire internet broke and people began to further believe in her relationship. Some were still skeptical, though.
And although her relationship with the realtor was indeed real, I still had a feeling the whole marriage thing is not.
I mean, who am I, though? None of that should concern me.
So I ignored it.
don't kill me
just help me run away
from everyone
i need a place to stay
where i can
cover up my face
don't cry
i am just a freak
I bob my head along to my band playing skillfully behind me.
i am just a freak
I danced along with one of my guitarists.
i am just a freak
i am just a freak
I laughed lightly, the microphone catching it slightly.
my head is
filled with parasites
black holes
cover up my eyes
i dream of you
almost every night
hopefully
i won't wake up this time
I then strummed my guitar with them.
i won't wake up this time
i won't wake up this time
I smiled into the camera.
i won't wake up this time
I winked as the instrumentals ended, along with the song. Claps were heard all around the room and Jimmy quickly walked up with a wide smile.
"Y/n Y/l/n everybody!" He clapped along with them. I smiled and waved once again before the cameras cut to commercials and I was brought backstage.
"You did amazing tonight, Y/n. Interview and performance. I hope to have you here again soon." I smiled and shook hands with the man one last time.
"I'd love to be back." He nodded and thanked me again before being rushed away. I chuckled and jogged into my dressing room.
"Good shit, Y/nn." I grinned at my best friend.
"Thanks Wall-E." He chuckled at the nickname I've given him since freshman year and nodded.
"Yeah, you killed it out there." Zachary gave me a thumbs up with his mouth filled to the brim with the many treats I was given the moment I walked through the building door.
"Thank you dumbass." I laughed. Janet then walked in with a proud smile.
"Amazing interview, Y/l/n. Even better performance." I grinned cheekily at her, making her laugh and shake her head.
"We have an interview with Interscope in 30. I was told it's about an album." I nodded, standing up to quickly enter one of the actual dressing rooms so I can change. I switched out of my stage outfit and into a white t and some shorts.
"Alright, let's go." Janet nodded and I bid my goodbyes to my best friends before being quickly ushered out of the room. Astro and four other bodyguards were quick to come to my side.
They led me to the back, where paps still managed to surround the gates. They began shouting for me, flashes blinding me momentarily. So much, that Astro had to softly grip my shoulders and help lead me to the car.
I got in and they immediately shut the door. Astro got in the passenger like always and the others entered other SUVs.
We pulled off and Janet then turned to me.
"Do you have enough songs to possibly release an album now?" She asked me, seeming more curious than business-like.
I gave her a look, chuckling a little. "What kinda question is that? Of course I do." She giggled. "How many do you think you have ready right now." Now this one I actually had to take a second to think about.
"Maybe like 15-16 songs." Her eyes widened in shock. "Wow, I'm impressed." I winked, smirking playfully. "What can I say?" I cockily did a '🤷♀️'. "I'm a hard worker." She laughed and pushed my shoulder.
"Shut up." I laughed and pulled my phone out. I switched to Twitter, scrolling through my feed and interacting with fans every once and a while.
I was mindlessly looking when something in particular caught my eye.
'Ariana Grande possibly broken off engagement with Dalton Gomez?'
Now, usually I just ignore stupid headlines like this and scroll past without thinking twice.
But for some reason, I felt compelled to click on it and find out for myself what was going on.
that and just plain curiosity
'Ariana Grande (27) was spotted out with her fiancé (Dalton Gomez, 26) this (Thursday) morning around 11:00 AM. As they usually documented them all cute and cuddled up, this was drastically different.
It seemed to be they were mid-argument when Ariana stormed out of her own Manhattan home with Gomez fast on her trail. More screaming pursued and we could make out in the video, famous pop-star Grande telling him she's "done".
Could this mean their (now) year long relationship has come to an end? Stay tuned, we'll update you when we get more information on the matter.'
I closed out of the article, then my entire phone. Could that be true? I mean, I didn't click on the video but why would they say she said that if it didn't sound like it on there?
why do we care ? just like she said , thank u, next
True.
"C'mon Y/n, we're here."
The meeting blew by pretty fast. It was indeed about a possible album. I told them I was up for the idea and that I already had a lot of songs to choose from. They told me to bring them all in and we'll all meet in a studio session in their building.
I didn't like how they wanted to include themselves so badly in the choice of the songs for my album, but I agreed nonetheless. The studio session was set for tomorrow, 7:30 AM. Which is just great.
no sleep for us, again, i guess
I sighed, laying further back into the car seat as we were now on our way to my house. My phone binged, and I used my face ID to quickly look at the notification. It was from Twitter.
arianagrande
could yall just, like, shut up?
____________________
boring chapter . i'll TRIPLE update, so keep scrollin' ! much love, A
SONG(S) IN CHAPTER;
Freaks - Surf Curse