"Why are you looking at me like that?" Catherine asked Bucky as she slipped her pajamas on.
Bucky walked behind her, moving the strap of her pajamas away from her shoulder. He pressed soft kisses against the skin, sending shivers down her spine. "Because, you looked relaxed today when you were talking with Sarah. I haven't seen you like that in a while."
"Well, she's nice and easy to talk to." She admitted. "And I'm not having sex with you when Sam and his family are right next to us in the other room."
"We can be quiet." Bucky whispered into her ear.
"You're something else James." Catherine teased as she moved to lay down on the guest bed. Bucky joined her in the bed, lying on his side so he could face her. She brought her hand, gently touching the cuts on his face. "You scared me the other day. When I ran inside and saw you on the floor, I thought John had...I just can't lose you again."
Bucky gently kissed her forehead reassuring. "Hey, nothing is going to happen to us okay. You know why? Because we look out for one another. You, me, Sam, we always have one another. I made a promise to you ten years ago that I would never let anything happen to you and I intend to keep that promise. We're going to take these Flag Smashers down and then hopefully we can go back to normal life."
"I'm sorry. I just...overthink sometimes." Her voice was small.
He shook his head and pulled her close to him. "Don't apologize. Communication is good. Now, how about we get some sleep?"
The smell of coffee wafting into the room was what awoken her. For half a second, Catherine forgot where she was until she saw Bucky hovering over her with a coffee mug in hand. She slowly sat up in the bed and rubbed her eyes as she attempted to wake herself up.
"Thank you." She mumbled as she took the mug from him. "You're up kind of early."
"Well, William and Sarah's boys are currently downstairs playing with the shield." Bucky admitted. "I heard them this morning and wanted to make sure they were okay. Not the worst way to be woken up I guess."
Catherine took a small sip of the warm liquid. "Ah. My doctor e-mailed me yesterday."
"Your doctor?" Bucky asked confused as he sat down on the bed next to her.
"The fertility doctor. Evidently she knew my mom and can potentially help me. She said we could get in for an appointment tomorrow morning." Catherine explained. "If you want to of course. Or we can just stop. And if it happens, it happens. If not then..."
Bucky took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I think we should see her, for peace of mind purposes."
"Okay." Catherine said softly.
"Okay." Bucky said. "I'm going to go help Sam. I think William wants to go as well."
"I'll be right there." She told him. Catherine laid back in the bed after Bucky left. She missed her parents every day, but she had learned to cope without them from a young age. However, there were moments in her life when she wished they were alive. This was one of those instances. She wished her mother was here so she could call her for advice or just words of comfort. The only other mother figure in her life was Ana, and she was also dead.
She had Pepper, but she had just had a baby and didn't need to hear Catherine drone on about her problems. The only people she ever had deep conversations were Tony and Steve and Natasha who were also gone. She knew she had Bucky, but she wanted an outsiders perspective. None of those people could ever replace her mom though.
Once she finished her wallowing and self pity, she changed out of her pajamas and into something more acceptable. Just when she thought the air couldn't be more humid, set stepped outside. It hit her like a gust of wind and she instantly pulled her hair back, not wanting to repeat the bad hair day she ended up with yesterday. She found them on top of the boat's deck arguing with William on where a certain part went.
"Look, it doesn't fit anywhere else." William tried to convince them as he maneuvered a tool. For a brief second, he reminded her of Tony working in his garage.
"Are we really going to listen to a five year old?" Sam mumbled to Bucky.
"The five year old can hear you." William said causing Catherine to giggle. "It's simple engineering and mechanics."
"He's definitely got his mother's attitude." Sam added.
Catherine walked into the boat, a smirk on her face. "I heard that."
"Excuse me! No!" They all heard Sarah. "I told you the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are."
"I tried to tell them." William spoke.
"In our defense, we were supposed to be done long before you woke up." Sam told his sister.
"I don't come up to the sky to tell you how to barrel roll, so don't come down here and mess around with things you don't understand." Sarah said as she looked over what William had done. "The five year old is correct. William can stay if he wants. Maybe I can teach him a thing or two."
Bucky and Catherine both looked at one another, trying to hide a knowning smile. It was no surprise to them that William knew what he was doing. He was a Stark after all.
"That's fine with us." Bucky told Sarah.
"Is your kid some kind of genius?" Sam asked as they walked back to the house.
"Something like that." Catherine said.
She didn't know who's bright idea it was to assist Sam in getting the hang of being Captain America in the freaking heat, but she wanted to punch whoever it was. Sweat poured down her forehead as she spared with Sam. She grabbed his arm and twisted it before sending him to the ground for what seemed the millionth time.
Bucky knelt down next to Sam, a smirk on his face. "What was it that you said to me as I was hanging off the semi truck? Oh yeah, that little girl kicked your ass."
Sam stood up, brushing himself off. "Alright, I get it. Not all of us were trained to fight from the time we were five."
"I was two actually." Catherine corrected him.
Sam gave her a 'really' look. "Whatever."
Catherine couldn't help but laugh to herself. She could tell Sam was starting to get aggravated with the sparing. She wouldn't lie, she didn't go easy on him, but whatever opponent he faced next wouldn't go easy on him. He was already a skilled fighter, but he needed to be better. Not only did he need to become more comfortable with fighting, he also needed to be more comfortable with the shield. It would have to basically become an extension of him.
"Feels weird picking it up again." Sam said as he threw the shield and Bucky caught it this time. "The legacy of that shield is complicated to say the least."
"When Steve told me what he was planning, I don't think we understood what it felt like for a Black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology." Bucky said handing him the shield back. "I'm sorry."
Catherine cleared her throat. "I would also like to apologize for being so hard on you. Bucky's right. We don't know what it's like being black. We just assumed it wouldn't affect you which was narrow minded."
"Thank you. Both of you." Sam said sincerely.
"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault. I get it. It's just, that shield's the closest thing I've got left to a family besides Cat and Will, so when you retired it, it made me feel like I was losing something. Made me question everything. You, Steve, me. You know, I've got his, uh... I've got his book. And, uh... I just figured if it worked for him, then it'd work for me." Bucky explained.
Bucky's words cut through Catherine. While she had been close to Steve, her husband had been there from the beginning. Steve was his best friend, his family before Catherine came along.
"I understand, man. But Steve is gone. And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are. Let me ask you. You still having those nightmares?" Sam asked.
Sam threw the shield again, but this time Catherine caught it. She flipped it over looking for a certain inscription. H. Stark. Her fingers ran over the etched name that her father had insisted on putting on the shield. Her father was gone. Her mother was gone. Her brother was gone. She realized like Bucky, she was trying to hold onto every little piece of them. She wanted preserve everything that had to do with her family, but she never moved on. Ever. Her father would have wanted Sam go have it. She could feel it in her bones.
"All the time. It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me." Bucky answered. "I want to forget it, well most of it. There are some memories I'd like to hold onto. I don't think I'll ever fully leave all that behind me. I just don't want to hurt those closest to me."
Catherine listened intently as he spoke. She had heard the words before, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. She knew he was still hanging onto his past and that it was hard to let go of it.
"You want to climb out of the hell you're in, do the work. Do it." Sam told him.
"I've been making amends." Bucky said.
"Nah. You weren't amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier, because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say "sorry," because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something, and you're the only one who can give it to 'em."
"Probably a dozen." Bucky admitted.
"That's cools. Start with one." Sam told him. "If Catherine can forgive you, I think any of them can."
Sam was right. Bucky had been at the amends for months now and he still felt like shit. Perhaps it was time for a change.
"Well," Catherine said placing a hand on both of their shoulders. "That was a great therapy session."
Sam laughed. "Don't think you got off so easy Cat. We need to talk about your daddy issues next time."
Catherine scoffed. "I don't have daddy issues."
"Mmmm, maybe a little." Bucky teased.
"You literally married a man who's like seventy years older than you. I would call that daddy issues." Sam said. "You guys know Karli won't quit."
"Call us when you get a lead. We'll be there." Bucky promised as he picked up their bags so they could fly back to New York. "Not necessarily as a team."
"Nope." Sam agreed as they walked.
"We're a trio?" Catherine suggested.
"That's terrible Catherine." Sam told her.
"We're professionals." Bucky said.
"Definitely." Sam said.
"Partners?" Catherine asked. "Oh, or co workers."
"How about a couple of guys plus a girl." Sam suggested.
"I can live with that." Bucky said.
"Thanks for the help guys. I know it's hard being away from your son." Sam told them.
Bucky wrapped his arm around Catherine, smiling down at her. "Of course. It's what we do, right?"
"Right." Catherine agreed.
It was time to go home. For now.