It was cold and dark and his whole body felt like it wanted to give up. He was trudging through the snow trying to stay bundled up with the coat that covered his body. The street lamps were lit but the very dim light offered no illumination on who the figure in front of him was. He squinted, hoping that the narrowing of his eyes would somehow, magically allow you to see clearer.
He recognized that shape, that smaller frame that walked in front of him. He started to call out her name but she kept walking ahead, never looking back. He ran trying to get closer to her, trying to get her to notice him. Why wasn't she noticing him? He closed the space between her and his large hand came out from beside him to tap her shoulder.
He whispered her name, his voice in his own ears barely able to be heard. She didn't flinch, she just kept walking. He could feel the frustration building and he got ahead of her placing both hands on her shoulders. This caused her to stop but she never looked up. He shook her and screamed her name as he felt an immense fear build inside him. That same fear he felt before.
"Look at me!" He screamed. "Why won't you look at me!"
Somehow he felt the warm tears falling down his cheeks as the woman who he thought might have even an ounce of feeling for him still, acted like he didn't even exist. He felt like a ghost who hadn't passed through yet, coming back to say goodbye to the one he loved. But she couldn't hear you. She couldn't see you.
Was she grieving him? Or was she happy he was gone?
-
-
-
Kylo sprang up from the couch, sweat coating his forehead and chest. His breath was heavy as he tried desperately to calm himself down. His nightmares hadn't stopped. They had gotten much worse the more time he was apart from her. He was tired. Tired of reliving the same nightmares. Of losing her. Of his childhood. He wanted it to stop. He wanted her back.
And he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her for the first time in a year. He never expected to see her there. Honestly, he never expected to see her ever again. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, the way he broke things off was cruel. He wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to speak to him again after that.
But when he saw her...When he saw her again after leaving her in that hospital room weak and tired, that room he put her in, his whole world stopped. She looked stunning. Healthy and strong. Just as he remembered her. And when he looked into her eyes, all the memories came flooding back. Of how happy he felt with her. Of their times together and how she made him laugh. How she made him feel for the first time in years. Then his heart raced.
Did she see him with Iris? Did it break her heart? Has he hurt her yet again?
His life now was dull, nowhere near as exciting as it was with her. Everything with Iris was for show. He didn't feel anything with her but he knew it's what he had to do to keep her safe. He knew Iris felt differently. Knew she was in love with him. She had been since they were kids. He never felt the same.
Their families had been connected ever since he could remember. He didn't know Mr. Erbey that well, but usually, when he'd see his Dad as a kid, Mr. Erbey was with him. The Erbey's made their riches by dealing with stocks. And like his family, they wanted to make sure those riches stayed within the family and only prospered. That's when the deal was struck. When the betrothal became official. But, this wasn't the life he wanted. Wasn't the life he chose.
But he had to endure it. To keep her safe.
He had tried to get in contact with his mother. To ask her why. To make her pay. He had called so many times and never reached her. He tired her assistant, her usual buyers. No one answered. He had left messages but no one returned his calls. After months of no contact, he gave up. He didn't know where she was, no one would tell him. So, she was dead to him. He had seen she had tried calling him back, tried to get in contact with him but he had made up his mind. He would never see her again if he didn't have to.
But when he felt her eyes on him again, he wanted to walk right over to her and take her back. Kiss her like he'd been wanting to for the past year. It made it harder for him to see her again. And then he felt that burning flame inside him, that one he held for her, turn into something stronger, something more malicious. But not towards her, towards the man she was with. It was her ex. She had mentioned him a few times before. Understood a bit how he hurt her and he had done his research. Learned a bit about who he was. But why was he back with her now? Back with her again? Something about that didn't sit right with him.
-
-
-
Kylo was mid-way through lunch with Iris and he was already ready for it to be over. He wasn't paying attention to anything she had to say. She just kept talking and talking, rambling about what they should both wear to their next event together. In other words, their next time to show off as a couple. To make the people who relied on this arrangement aware that it was all going as planned. He was tired of it. Tired of the charade. How she didn't see that was beyond him. He could tell she was falling in love with him more and more each day. But she loved differently than her. He knew she wasn't loving him for the right reasons. She didn't even try to really get to know him. Like she had.
"Then I think you should wear your Gucci and I'll wear my white Chanel." Iris spoke along and hearing the word Gucci pulled him from his thoughts.
"Hello? Are you even listening to me?" He was looking at her as she spoke but thoughts of her in that Gucci dressing room, swimming through his mind. He never would've thought their decision at that moment would've led them to where they are today. Led him to feel love. To being in love.
"Kylo?" It took her practically yelling his name for him to finally look at her and give her some of his attention.
"Sorry," he said plainly, not really much of an apology.
"Where's your head today baby?" Whether she was truly concerned or not, she wanted to know what was going through your head that distracted you from what she considered "important" matters.
"Oh no, I'm fine. I'll wear the Gucci suit." He gave her a small smile and gulped down the rest of his wine. They had been going to the same fancy restaurant ever since they got together. It was good publicity for the two of them to be seen out in public with one another. Kylo did anything that he was told. He didn't want to upset anyone. Didn't want anyone going after her again just to hurt him.
The two of them conversed some more as he waited for her to finish her wine. He was exhausted and just wanted to get home to the peace of his own space. He refused to let her stay over. He didn't even like it when she came into his home. It just didn't feel right.
And they hadn't even done anything in regards to intimacy since being together. She gave him a kiss here and there. Usually just a light peck, nothing too longing or deep. He didn't want that with her. He didn't feel that way about her. He didn't even have the urge. She had tried seducing him, wanting to experience what it was like to be with him like that but he always pushed away. And he had already had enough of her tonight and all her talk of designer brands and upcoming events.
So, when she finally took her last sip of wine, Kylo motioned for the check desperate for this dinner to end. They had driven separate, they usually did so he said goodbye, a light kiss to her cheek, one without any feeling, and practically sped home. He pulled into his usual parking space and just sat there for a few moments, enjoying the silence.
When he finally opened the door to his penthouse, he was certainly not expecting to see his mother sitting on his couch waiting for him. He immediately turned around as he walked in, just wanting to get out of there. Not even wanting to look at her, to give her the time of day.
As he turned, she called out to him. Begging him to stay. Saying how much she wanted to talk to him. How she needed to talk to him. How she had been trying to reach him for some time now but never got an answer from him. But it was a load of bullshit. After what she did, how could he ever talk to her again?
He started making his way out the door when she called out, "Ben, please. I had nothing to do with what happened to that poor girl. You have to believe me. You know I never lie. Please just hear me out, listen to me. Please?"
His mother was a lot of things. But a liar was not one of them. She was known in her business for being honest, cutthroat, and blunt. As much as he resented her, at this moment, something inside of him told him to listen. Something told him she really needed to talk. So, for the sake of finding out what happened, finding out the truth and why it happened, he closed the door behind him and told her to start talking.
"I'm your mother Ben. No matter how long you deny it, I'll always care about you. I will always want you to be happy."
"Oh yeah? Well then, why did you have the one person who made me truly happy, kidnapped and almost killed huh? Tell me that!" He was practically screaming at her, his anger for her and what had happened finally being able to come out on someone. On the person that was responsible for ruining the only good thing in his life.
"Ben, you have to believe me I had no idea-" her words were falling out of her mouth fast before he cut her off with a loud yell.
"Don't call me that!" His voice echoed through the room as silence overtook the two of them.
He watched her, as she understood. As she realized she would have to be careful how she talked to him. In order to get him to listen, she needed to alter her approach.
"Please son," she motioned to the space on the couch beside her. "Let me explain myself. I know I don't deserve to. I know you don't want to listen. But please let me tell you my side."
"Why should I? You tried to kill someone! Someone I cared a lot about!" His voice still raised as the fire inside him escalated.
"I didn't try to have anyone killed. Just listen. Please." Kylo saw his mother's eyes. He saw that there was some sincerity in them. So, he shut his mouth, clenched his jaw and fists, and listened.
She took his silence as her cue to talk and she explained everything. Explained that she had been in Dubai for those months she was in a coma, for the months Kylo had been trying to contact her. When she had returned, she got word about what happened. Heard his voicemails. She did everything she could to find out what happened, knowing that he blamed her for it. But she came up with no evidence herself. She had her PI investigate. Found the men that took her but, as Kylo knew all too well, they were dead. She promised over and over that she had nothing to do with it. That she knew nothing about it. She showed him what she found from her research. Tried to prove to him that she cared about it. About finding out who really was behind this all.
Kylo looked over the evidence she provided. It wasn't much. Another dead end he thought. Until he noticed emails they had found. Between two accounts. At first glance, it seemed like nothing but it piqued his interest. He wanted to look into it more.
"Did you find out the identity of these accounts? The ones talking about money transfers? It seems these messages are in code." Her eyes narrowed as you showed her the documents.
"I think my PI found the identity of the one receiving, not sending."
"Who?"
"Let me make a call. I'll find out."
He watched as his mother talked on the phone, writing things down on a piece of paper. When she hung up and came back to him, she looked defeated.
"Here's the name but it means nothing to me. I think it's another dead-end son. I'm sorry." She handed him the paper and his eyes traveled over the name. Rage filled inside him once again.
That name might not have meant anything to his mother but it meant something to him.
Dak Williams.
That son of a bitch. What the hell was he doing? Involved in her almost murder and then back together with her. His hunch about him was right. And amidst that anger he was feeling, was pure worry. He was scared for her. He didn't know what Dak's intentions were being back with her. But he wouldn't let her get hurt again. Not if he could do anything about it.
His mother noticed how his expression changed as he read the name. She knew something was up.
"Do you know him?" She asked softly, wanting to reach out for her son. To comfort him if she could. But she knew it wasn't her place. She knew he resented her for the years he had been left alone. For the constant pushing of this betrothal, he was involved in.
"Yes. It's her ex-boyfriend," he paused, taking a heavy breath. "Well, I guess he's no longer her ex anymore. They are back together." His eyes found his mother's and she could see how full of worry he was. He didn't even try to hide it like he usually did.
"I need to tell her. To warn her. He could be dangerous. She...she could be in danger."
"I'll call my PI, have him look into Dak more." She watched him as he fought back tears. Something she never saw him do in his life. "We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise."
She got up from the couch and started dialing on her cellphone. Before she hit call, she looked over at him. "I'm sorry son. For everything."
The two of them turned, Leia to find more information on Dak, and Kylo who had to call her. He walked upstairs into his bedroom. He hadn't been in that room for months. He only went in for clothes. It was too hard. Memories of her lying on the bed. Of her sound asleep, lying close to him. Her scent still lingered. Whether it was really there or he just smelled it, he thought of her.
He sat down on the bed and grabbed his phone. He found her contact and hesitated for a moment. He wasn't even sure if she would answer. If she would even want to talk to him, let alone listen to what he had to say. But he had to do it. For her safety. To make sure she was okay.
So he called. And it rang. And then, music to his ears.
"Hello?" Her sweet voice. He'd missed it so much. He was so stunned to hear her, he didn't even answer.
"Why are you calling me Kylo?" She said again, pain in her voice. But a hint of something smaller that he was lucky enough to catch. Hope.
"You're lucky I even answered so are you going to speak or not."
"Sorry. It's just...well, we haven't-"
"Kylo!" She was urging him on, annoyance in her voice now.
"This isn't going to be easy for you to hear. It's about Dak."
"What the hell would you need to tell me about Dak, Kylo. Gods can you not just let me be? It's bad enough you shattered my heart. Let me rebuild it in fucking peace."
She wasn't yelling but you could feel the emotion in her voice.
"What is it you have to say? Say it and then we can finish this conversation."
He took a shaky breath, releasing it silently so she wouldn't hear.
"There's evidence. That he might've been involved in your kidnapping."
There was a long pause. Heavy silence on both ends of the phone. He didn't want to say anything to upset her more. And she, he hoped, was stunned at the news.
After minutes of pure silence, he said her name. He could hear her breath quicken.
"No, I don't believe you. You're just saying these things because you saw me with him and you didn't like it. Why can't you just let me be happy? It's been a year since you broke my heart. Stop it."
"You're happy?" His voice was soft asking. He knew he shouldn't have. He knew he wouldn't like the response.
But, there was nothing from her. Just complete silence. And that was dangerous. Because it gave him hope. The hope of a second chance. Of a future with her.
"Just leave me alone Kylo. Stop playing games and telling lies to make yourself feel better."
He started to speak but wasn't even given the chance to explain himself. To tell her this wasn't a game. This was about her safety.
"Goodbye Kylo."
And with that, she was gone. The line cut off and he was left alone on the other end of the line. He felt the guilt rise within him. Knowing, now hearing how badly he had hurt her. But if her silence meant anything, she wasn't happy. And that scared Kylo. He hoped Dak wasn't being cruel to her. Holding her hostage. He hoped that she was safe. And he certainly wasn't going to let her get away with thinking it was a lie.
No.
He had to show her. Had to give her proof so she would understand. But he knew she wouldn't take it from him. He knew she wouldn't listen to him.
He returned to the living area where his mother was sitting. She had talked to her PI and he was investigating as they spoke. She told him, he'd work quickly on it. To try to find out as much as he could.
But Kylo was Kylo and he couldn't wait. He told his mother to give any information found to Elliot and instructed him to drop off all the evidence at her apartment. Anonymously. So she would open it up and see for herself the kind of person Dak was.
Right now, Kylo had to find him. Had to have a little chat with Dak Williams. He managed to get an address quickly and before he knew it, he was racing over to his place.
He was filled with rage. Nothing mattered to him at this moment except for her and keeping her safe.
It didn't take him long to get to Dak's apartment.
He made his way through the building, practically running up the stairs to reach his destination. When he arrived at Dak's door, he pounded his fist into the wood hard. Banging, banging, banging.
He kept this up and there was no answer. One of the neighbors came out, looking for what was causing the noise.
"Could you keep it down? Some people are trying to have a relaxing evening here." The older, chubby man growled at him, eyes heavy from sleep. Or alcohol.
Kylo stopped his pounding, apologizing to the man.
"Do you know him?" He asked, gesturing towards the door. "Do you know where I could find him?"
"Yeah. If he ain't here, he's usually downing beers at the bar down the street. Best look there."
Kylo gave him a small nod and smile and started walking back down the steps.
"Does he owe you money or something?" The man called out to him. Kylo stopped on the steps and turned his head back to face him.
"Something like that," he said, not wanting to get into it with a stranger. "Thanks again."
Kylo practically jumped down the stairs, his long legs easily carrying him quickly to the bar just a few blocks away.
He pulled the door to the bar open viciously, storming in to find him. He spotted the sad piece of shit sitting at the bar, slumped over his drink. He didn't care if he was drunk, he'd certainly sober him up.
"Hey!" He called out as he approached him. He didn't even flinch, didn't even look up. Kylo grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn towards him. The bartender noticed the physical force taken and called out a warning.
Once Dak realized who was standing behind him, his eyes widened. He knew that this probably wouldn't end well for him.
Kylo grabbed his shirt collar and forced him out of his seat to stand.
"You, me, outside. Now." He practically dragged him out of the bar and into the alley. He forced him up against the cool brick wall and started his interrogating.
"What the fuck did you do to her? Huh? Fucking tell me! Why were you involved?" Kylo had the fabric of his shirt gripped between his fists, practically lifting the man off the ground.
Dak was alert now, realizing what he had gotten himself into. "I- I don't know what you're talking about man."
"Don't act fucking stupid. I know you're involved. We've got the evidence. Own up."
Kylo was getting annoyed and he wanted answers.
"It-It wasn't me okay? I swear."
"Then what? You were hired? You were forced? Given a reason to do it? His voice was raising as the frustration and anger inside him built. He started to see red again.
"Look man I don't know what to tell you-" He was cut off by Kylo's fist connecting with his jaw. Blood immediately flew out of his mouth at the hit, running down his chin.
"Tell me!" Another punch to his other jaw. No response.
"Fucking now!" Kylo went animalistic with his punches, demolishing his face. Leaving cuts and bruises all over.
"Please! Please!" Dak managed to puff out.
The pleas stopped Kylo in his tracks. The red curtain that once covered his eyes, slowly fell as he saw the work he had done. He pulled Dak close to him. His bloody and bruised face made it hard for him to keep his eyes open.
"Tell. Me." It was his last attempt before he did something rash. Something he might regret. But Dak had to pay.
"He's going to kill me if I tell you!" He yelled out. Kylo saw the fear in his eyes and decided to push him. To get the answer he came for.
"Well, I'm going to kill you now if you don't. So, you either tell me who's behind this and live another day, hoping I can get to him before he gets to you or I make sure you never wake up again."
*
*
*
*
hello loves! Sorry again for the late update but I hope you like this chapter! Thank you again for always sticking with me and for your lovely comments. I enjoy reading through them all and hearing your thoughts! Thank you for all the love and support and for 20k reads! I never would have thought something I wrote would have gotten this response so thank YOU for reading. As always, if you have any questions or comments feel free to DM on twitter @adamds0lo! xo, Laur