T W E N T Y F I V E
Pre-Christmas Plans
It's the morning i fly out, i'm currently seated at my usual cafe eating breakfast to kill some time, i didn't feel like hanging around the apartment all day it felt stuffy.
Besides i need to pick up a dress for the christmas ball tomorrow night.
"Anna?" I hear someone call me, i turn around in my chair to see Hunter holding a brown paper bag "Oh, hey" i smile. He walks up to my table with a small smile "heading out somewhere?" He asks, gesturing to my to-go coffee i ordered.
I nod "yeah just for the drive, i'm heading home for christmas and new years" his brows raise "oh? That's nice, have a safe trip" i smile "thank you, what about you?" He shrugs "to my parents for christmas dinner and maybe a new years party..." i bob my head and pucker my lips, this is getting a little awkward.
"Well, merry christmas and happy new year" i grin, he only smiles faintly in response "same to you..." he mumbles "see you when you get back" he looks sad, he's barely masking it.
"Hunter?" He turns around "yeah?" I bite the inside of my lip "are you okay?" He nods "i'm fine.."
Lies.
I continue to stare at him knowingly, there's a moment of hesitation before he fully turns to face me.
I gesture to the seat in front of me and he takes a seat. "What's wrong?" He looks up at me directly in the eyes, they're intense, filled with emotion.
He runs his hand through his now longer than usual hair, it looks nice... soft and dark golden under this pale yellow lighting. I let him take his time, sipping my coffee whilst i continue to stare at him, drinking in the small differences in his features. His eyes look tired, like he barely sleeps...
"Hunter i'm worried about you" i finally speak up. He clears his throat and adjusts the collar of his black turtleneck, running his tongue over his chapped lips.
"Why?" He asks softly, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. I tilt my head to the side "what do you mean why? You look like you've gotten 30 minutes of sleep all week, your lips are chapped.." i trail off.
He groans and buries his face in his hands "god what are you doing to me" he mumbles into them, i frown "what?"
His head snaps up "I'm in love with you.." he whispers loudly, i can't tell if the realization has just hit him or if he's admitting it to me.
My lips part, the words hang heavily in the space between us.
"What?" I say, stunned.
He licks his lips, combs his hair back and straightens his back. "I'm in love with you, i have been... for a year now" he says, loud and clear.
When i tell you my brows fly off my face, i'm only mildly exaggerating. The shock renders me speechless, i stare at him for longer than deemed appropriate but i don't know what to say to him.
Has my life turned into a comedy show?
"I..." is all i can manage.
What do you say in a situation like this?
I take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself. "Hunter.."
"Oh god nevermind-" he interjects, now looking pained. "Shut up and let me talk" i retort, making him purse his lips.
"Listen" i begin, taking his hand in mine. "I love you, i really do.. but not in the way you want me to. I have too much shit to sort out in my life i mean for fuck sake i'm having an affair" i humour, making his lip curl a little.
"But there's so much more, i'm finally seeing my parents and brother again tomorrow, there's this whole thing with my fathers company and i.. i have to tell my friends and family about that miscarriage at some point, i want to visit pierce's grave.. i need to undo this mess and get my shit together, i am so tired of running away from my problems.." i explain, finally letting go of everything i've been holding in.
He looks down at his lap and sighs before looking up to meet my eyes "i understand.."
I smile sadly at him "you're an amazing person.. and if thing's were different, if i'd sorted my shit out 3 years ago or even before i'd known about your intentions.. i would've loved you so much, exactly how you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be with someone who isn't going to lie to you, cheat you and do things half heartedly like i did. And i am so very sorry for everything that happened, Hunter. I truly am and i get that you may probably never forgive me... or maybe you will but wounds never disappear, they only heal and leave scars." I tear up as i speak, because i genuinely mean every word.
I hurt this wonderful man in front of me who's already been broken before, and if things were different i would've chosen him.
"If things were different you would've still found your way back to Nathan, Anna. You two clearly can't stay away from each other.. i really do wish the best for you, and maybe in another life time.. i'll be your first option. But i'm not in this one, and that's okay... thank you for being honest with me." He smiles, its watery but i'll take it because i know he's hurting.
I stand up and pull him into a hug, a very tight one. "Why does this feel like a goodbye hug?" I mumble, on the brink of crying. I feel a laugh rumble through his chest "it might just be..." he mumbles, pulling away.
I smile at him again "i'll see you around" he nods, i lean over and press a soft kiss to his cheek before grabbing my coffee and leaving.
As i walk down the street to my car i wipe away the tears that i let escape once i walked away.
This hurt. Walking away from someone like this again hurts so much i can physically feel it.
I shake a little as i pull off the street and head down to the mall, soft music playing over my speakers from a very mellow spotify playlist.
Once parked i check the time and quickly head into the mall, my flight leaves in 3 hours and i'm 10 minutes away from the airport which gives me about an hour to shop.
I go from store to store but i just can't seem to find anything i'm looking for. I need something different, something elegant that screams 'comeback'.
After all, its been 3 years since i've been to a christmas ball, and 3 years since people have seen me in town. I ought to make a grand entrance.
I walk into a store that looks promising and look through their selection, my eyes scan the materials and colours but nothing seems to catch my eye.
I'm about to turn around and give up when a lady approaches me "may i help you?" She smiles, i return it "i was just looking for a gown, its for a huge christmas gala thing.." i trail off, looking around.
She grins "i think i have something you might like, follow me" i nod and begin tailing the woman, she takes me to a rack towards the back of the shop and pulls out 2 stunning gowns with completely different aesthetics.
I stare at them in awe as she hangs them up for me.
One's a beautiful shade of blue with thin straps and a sharp V neck with a sinched waist and covered in tiny sparkles that shimmer elegantly when they catch the light.
The second one is a gorgeous black and white dress with one long sleeve and the top covered in a burst of white flowers, a black leather belt and a black skirt that flows perfectly.
"Woah.. they're gorgeous, i... don't know which one to pick" i laugh a little.
And i can't even text anyone, the only two people that know i'm going are Jane and Hunter.
Or at least i think Jane knows, she walked in on me looking at flight tickets..
I stare at them long and hard, i play out a whole scenario of me stepping out of the car and onto the street in both dresses and imagine everyone's reactions.
"Would you like to try them on instead? Maybe that would help you?" She offers, i glance between them and nod, that's the only way i'd know.
I try on each dress and snap a picture, i swipe back and fro between them but its such a tough decision.
I flip a coin and hold my breath as i peak at the result hoping i get heads, i breathe out in relief when i do and instantly know which dress i want.
"I'll take this one" i point at it and head to the check out to pay. Once my dress is securely put into garment jacket i take it out to my car, pop open the boot and unzip my suitcase, i left plenty of space for the gown knowing it would be a last minute purchase.
I check my watch again "fuck me" i mumble, its been almost 2 hours.
I quickly lock the bag and get into the car, starting it and pulling out in a hurry.
I hate being late for flights i always end up running half a kilometre around the airport from gate to gate. I rush down the highway that leads straight to the airport but the traffic once i'm just minutes away from the turn that leads into the airport parking lot is full of traffic.
"Come one move for gods sake!" I hiss, pressing the horn. I can see people turning into the airport but its so slow and the traffic leading straight isn't even moving. "What the hell is going on?" I groan.
It takes 10 minutes for the traffic to speed up, by then i'm right by the exit and i can see police and ambulance piled up and smoke coming out of a car, i frown.
A car crash?
Upon closer look it looks bad, i catch a decent look of it, all i see is glass everywhere and the car although huge was smashed in front. A truck stood a few feet ahead.
The paramedics look frantic as they point into the open ambulance, it looks like she's yelling but i can't tell because her back is turned to me. When he turns around she's covered in blood and it knocks the wind out of me.
"Anna" Nathan barely whispers, "Baby don't do it.." He whimpers, his face twisting into a pain filled frown. I shake my head "Nathan he'll kill you! I can't let him" I cry out.
Nathan sucks in a deep breath, his lips parting as his face contorts into a pained expression. That's when i lose it, i tug at the cuffs till i feel cuts form around my wrists but i don't stop, witb my feet still free i hoist myself up and walk backwards into the wall at full speed, the wooden chair cracks under pressure and the pieces clatter to the ground.
Jasons head whips around just in time to see me run towards nathan, i'm just a few feet away from him when i hear a gun go off. My eyes widen, and then i look up. To my horror i see blood start to spread around a hole in nathan's chest.
"I love you..." Nathan wheezes out, his eyes falling shut and his body going limp.
"Nathan!" I scream out, panting. A blaring horn behind me makes me snap out of it...
Another ptsd flare up.
I wipe away the tears and turn into the parking lot, images of Nathan hanging from that railing covered in blood still clear in my head. I park in a spot and turn the car off, i hug myself to stop the shivering but it takes a few moments.
Once my breathing is evened out i grab my handbag with a shaky hand and get out.
Once inside i look at my boarding pass for the gate. "Where the hell.." i whisper under my breath, looking around.
"All passengers flying to Plymouth, take off is in 50 minutes" the person announces over the intercom, i blow out a breath and head to the check in counter, after checking in my luggage i head to the plane.
I get on with 10 minutes to spare, i drop down in my comfortable seat with a long sigh.
Home...
I smile to myself at the idea of seeing everyone again, my parents.. samuel.. going to the christmas ball again, i missed them.
But..
Fuck- the idea of facing everything that's blown over didn't even occur to me.
"Miss, would you like a drink?" A gorgeous flight attendant asks with a smile, i look at her and think for a second "can i get a glass of red wine?" She chuckles "sure but can i see ID?" I give her a quizzical look, did i hear her right?
"I'm sorry, what?" She smiles "Can i see your ID, miss. You have to be 21 or over to order a drink" i laugh at her as i pull out my ID and hand it to her "Oh, you look slightly younger than i thought.." i smile "its okay, you're doing your job" she smiles back at me and hands me a glass of wine.
I thank her and sip it, staring at the screen in front of me.
I pull my phone out to check the time when the screen flashes with the battery symbol and i groan, i thought i charged the damn thing in the car.
I pull out the chord and plug it in, leaving it off as i won't be able to use it for a while anyway.
A 10 hour flight back, and for the first time in a few weeks i'm a little relaxed.
10 hours later
I stir awake to the feeling of the plane touching the ground with a bump. I look around to see everyone coming out of their slumbers, i slept for most of the flight except for dinner which i think was 2 hours ago.
I sit up properly and stretch my arms, the seat next to me was empty thankfully so i dumped my handbag on it.
I power my phone on and open up my contacts right away, i book an uber for 30 minutes from now. Once we're off the plane i walk through the airport in a sleepy daze. I stand in line with everyone else as we grab our bags, someone comes up beside me and speaks "hello" i turn to look at the tall man, his icy eyes are the first feature that catch my attention but he has on a hoodie and black face mask "hey?" I ask more than greet.
"I think you dropped this" he reaches into his pocket and for a moment i feel myself panic, but when he pulls out a ring and hands it to me i smile.
"Oh.." i look down at my ring in my palm, its a lose one it was bound to fall i just really like the rose stone on it which is why i kept it on.
For a moment i thought it was the promise ring and i swear my heart was in my throat, i smile at him "Thank you.." he nods and looks back ahead. I tilt my head to the side "what's with the mask?" He turns to me "oh um.. allergies" i nod slowly, a little confused.
I spot my bag and apparently he does too because we both move in at the same time and knock into each other, he grabs my arms to steady me "i'm so sorry, are you okay?" I smile "its okay, are you?" He nods again "yeah, yeah..." he steps away and pulls my bag off the conveyor belt, "i- sorry that's.. my bag" i chuckle, he looks down at it "are you.. sure? Because i have the same bag" he asks, looking at it confused.
I pull out the keys to my lock and insert it into the keyhole, it clicks open and his eyes widen "oh.. shit i'm sorry" he laughs, letting go of the handle. "Its fine it was an honest mistake" i twist the lock again and stand up straight "hope you find your bag" i say before turning around and leaving.
I frown to myself, confused as i head to the cafe by the exit.
He felt.. familiar. Is that odd?
After getting a large coffee to go, i head out to my uber.
The drive back into town is exciting, light rain showers the streets as cars pass by, sloshing around in the water.
We drive past the gates of our old school and i smile, for so long the last thing i remembered about this place was just a normal day of school, i had no recollection of Mike or Nathan or the fact that the 5 of us were friends.
I lost a whole years worth of memory and sometimes i find myself remembering things that i previously did not. I'm surprised another hit to my head didn't make me forget well.. everything.
But now, i remember so much of what happened. Days where we'd be out in the grass fields 'sparring' and chasing each other around.
Soon we pull up in front of my parents house. I get off and unload my luggage before thanking the man.
I stand at the steps, staring at the front door. The lights are on...
I suck in a deep breath and ring the bell.
Nathaniel
"Thank you, yes... merry christmas to you too" i smile and hang up.
The last of the articles have been taken down, i drop down on the sofa of my home office with a sigh.
Shutting my eyes, i rest my head on the back of the sofa. My peace and quiet lasts all of 5 seconds before i hear heels clicking across the marble flooring.
I breathe out a long "fuck" before the door slides open to reveal Danielle in a black skirt and red silk blouse.
"Hey" she smiles, i smile back at her.
"So about tomorrow..." she trails off, saunteering up to me. I raise my eyebrows, urging her to continue. "I was wondering if we could match, i'm wearing this silk green dress." I breath out a laugh "i am not wearing a green suit, fuck no" she pouts which makes me cringe inwardly because i can tell she's faking it.
She wants to be my trophy wife, as long as i'm her trophy husband. Fake in the streets, real in the sheets.
And by real i mean a complete witch.
We aren't even married and she's already demanding so much. Including children.
Now, don't get me wrong i do want kids at some point. But for the love of all that is sweet, we're too young for kids and she is not capable of being a mother.
"Oh come on, at least a green shirt?" I make my distaste very obvious on my face. "No." Her expression drops into a glare, she throws her bag at me, i dodge it quickly and it hits the wall behind me "what the hell, Danielle?" She crosses her arms over her chest "you're wearing a green tie, push on the matter and you're wearing the green suit." She states in an authoritative tone.
Don't hit women, don't hit women.
I take a deep breath and exhale the bullshit, i push myself off the sofa and reach behind it to retrieve her bag. "Don't tell me what to do just because you have a one over me, i'm not taking yours or any of your family members bullshit." I retort, shoving her bag into her chest as i walk past her.
"We're leaving first thing in the morning, the plane leaves at 9 am." I remind her over my shoulder.
As i rummage around the kitchen for something to eat my thoughts wander to Anna, i can't believe i fucked up again. I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to come home or even talk to me.
I deserve it.
She's making an effort to accept our situation, i know she hates it but she keeps her tongue between her teeth, i just can't keep my dick in my pants around her.
Suddenly i'm having a strong sense of deja vu.
I sigh, shoving my hand into a bag of crisps and eating a mouthful.
One more year without Anna.
Why am i pretending like she'll actually show up next year? She may never even want to see me again, besides... the secret can't be kept a secret forever.
I ring up Mike and lean against the marble counter, staring at the stove.
"What are you regretting today, Mr. O'Connor" Mike jokes, i chuckle "asshole, how'd you know?" He lets out a long breath "because tomorrow's the christmas ball, i know how much you hate going to it since Anna hasn't been around.." he responds, all humour now gone.
I purse my lips, he's got a point. Nothing was the same without her. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.
"Guess i got to come to terms with it at some point, i just miss how we used to be" i admit, "irrational and ready to rip each others throats out?" He retorts sarcastically, i laugh "yeah i guess... there was good too, even though she didn't remember me or our past, i did. And it felt good you know?" Mike sighs on the other end "i know man, but a lot has changed. Word of advice... fight your demons head on, especially right now. She doesn't know, does she?" He asks.
I gulp, if she knew... she'd hate us forever.
"No, she doesn't. Do you think she'd be talking to us if she did?" I ask, Mike chuckles "well she hasn't said a word in 2 weeks so i beg to differ" i sigh "guess she really isn't coming after all.." i sigh, defeated.
"I got to go, see you at the airport?" I shrug, pushing myself off the counter "see you at the airport" and with that, i hang up.
...
The drive to the airport the next morning is in complete silence, i see Danielle eye me from the corner of my eye but i ignore her, it's too early in the day to be arguing and disagreeing, that's all we seem to be doing recently.
We pull up in the private section of the airport where our private jet awaits us, Mike and Monica are already standing by the steps. I get out and round the car to help Danielle out, she mumbles a 'Thank You' and walks around me.
I greet Mike with a side hug "you good? You look pissy" he smirks, i smile and roll my eyes "shut up" i mumble before turning to greet Mon. "Baby mama!" I greet, pulling her into a hug "loser!" She cheers, wrapping her arms around me. "How's mini Nathan doing?" She rolls her eyes "its not a boy Nathan. Or at least.. we don't know yet" i chuckle, kissing her cheek "its a boy."
"Whatever" she laughs, shoving me playfully. I laugh along as we head up the stairs.
Once we're all seated opposite each other, Mike raises his brows from across me.
"What?" I mouth, Mon and Dani are busy talking so they pay no attention to us. He looks at my phone in my hand and mouths "Anna" back, i shake my head no.
I was hoping she'd say something by now.
"Breakfast, anyone?" Mon makes a distasteful face "no thanks, morning sickness" i smile and turn to Danielle "Dani?" I raise, she shakes her head "i'm not hungry, i had a berry smoothie before we left" My gaze lingers on her for a moment longer before i nod slowly and relax in my seat.
The plane ride home is short, too short. I spend most of the flight talking to Mike about various things, all while burning with a smidge of hope that maybe Anna will be there.
"Nathan, we're here" i snap out of my daze and move my attention from the view outside the window to Danielle. She gets out of the car and i follow.
My parents place. Or well, just my mothers house now.
As i pull out our bags a silvery spark catches my attention, i frown, shutting the boot and looking at the sleek sliver sports car parked right outside our house.
And i instantly know who it is.
I sigh, pulling the suitcases behind me. Mike and Monica went to Monica's home, and i wish i had one of my friends here right now.
To keep me sane.
Then again, my mother is there for that too. I unlock the front door and hold it open for Danielle, she steps into the threshold and i push the bags in behind her before shutting the door.
David rounds a corner with a grin on his face. "Brother!" I give him a bland smile "Prodigal son" i mumble pulling him into a stiff hug. "Touche... how've you been?" He asks, helping us with the bags.
"Fan-fucking-tastic" i deadpan.
Don't get me wrong, i like David now that he isn't as much of an annoying piece of girlfriend stealing shit as he used to be but a small level of resentment still remains, after all... he did steal my first love.
No, that wasn't Anna. Anna was my best friend, i always loved her. That only became a different meaning when i realized i was in love with her.. and that realization happened to be the night of the christmas ball 3 years ago.
Ironic isn't it? Who thought we'd be here 3 years later?
I pictured myself with Anna back then. And i'd be lying to myself if sometimes.. when i close my eyes now, i still picture her.
"You still hate me. Its okay, i completely understand" David sighs, i laugh "just a little- holy mother of jesus christ-" my balls practically jump back into me when Olivia exits the kitchen from our right...
Pregnant.
My eyes are so wide i feel like they might just roll out of my eye sockets and roll across the floor. Or burst from the blood pumping to my head.
"Right, so about that.." David starts, smiling sheepishly. Olivia gives me a beautiful grin, like the sun just came out after an eternity of rain, which is ironic because its raining outside as we speak.
"Congratulations..?" I say, bewildered. I continue to stare in shock. Danielle comes into the room "oh, hello" she smiles at Olivia.
Olivia smiles back "nice to meet you, i'm Olivia. I wasn't there the last time you met David, but i heard a lot about you." Olivia says sweetly, Danielle grins "all good i hope, and wow congratulations! When are you due?" Dani gushes.
Okay now i'm very creeped out.
What's in this city's air? Danielle is being nice? David has a sense of humour?
I'm losing my mind.
"I think i need a drink.." i breathe out, making David laugh.
"Nathaniel!" Mum calls out, coming down the stairs in dark jeans and a sweater. I raise a brow, what the fuck is wrong with this place?
"Mum? I haven't seen you in jeans since 1990" she rolls her eyes "you weren't even thought of in 1990" i laugh "i like the new look" i say, pulling her into a hug.
"Nathan, i've been wearing jeans since your father went to jail 2 years ago." I hum "never noticed, then again whenever i was here, you were dressed up formal or in dresses" i smile "how've you been mum?" She grins "fantastic" i kiss her cheek "good to know, i missed you" she smiles at me fondly "i missed you too, son".
I turn to face everyone "okay people! We have 6 more hours of relaxation before we have to start getting ready for tonight, enjoy" everyone laughs and disperses.
...
I adjust the light blue tie i picked out and check the suit once more, doing a 360.
"Looking great, as always" Olivia speaks from the door. She's dressed in a dusty pink, silk evening gown and silver heels. I smile "looking beautiful, as always.." the baby bump is prominent, its very obvious she's pregnant but she's glowing.
I swear she didn't look this happy with me.
"So, Danielle.." i squint with a playful smile "what about her?" she chuckles "she's not Anastasia.." she smiles, its a sympathetic one.
My smile falls, i turn away from her and focus on strapping my watch on instead.
She sighs "David told me what happened.. i'm sorry Nathan. She was a wonderful person from what i've heard" i sigh "its okay, its whatever. we all move on..." she hums "she's your soulmate, you don't move on from something like that" she retorts.
I look up at her but don't say a word.
"Everyone's waiting, come on down" she says before walking away.
I look at myself in the mirror one last time, i take a deep breath and steady my heart before leaving the room.
Once i'm down everyone simply smiles at me, i throw them a confused look "what?" Mum just shakes her head "you look handsome son, lets go.." she smiles, heading out with a red train following her.
50 has never looked so good on a woman.
We all pile into the limo, that was Danielle's idea and settle in comfortably.
The drive there is filled with chatter and laughter. The ladies get along surprisingly well, even David and i are starting to like each others company.
As we drive up to the hall, the flash photography is blinding. This is a charity fundraiser so i get the press coverage but god do i hate the amount of light flashing.
"Is there a celebrity attending or something? Why is everyone so loud?" I frown, looking out the window.
All i see is a mound of chattering people and excessive flashing. I get out first and Danielle follows, grabbing my arm. We wait for everyone else to step out, the commotion turns to us and that's when my eyes fall on the slender figure standing at the top of the stairs.
Anastasia...
I feel the air being knocked out of me. She looks stunning in that blue dress, she's sparkling.
And then our eyes meet and its like the world slows down, her steel grey eyes are sharp and cold regardless of the smile on her face.
It truly does take my breath away.
I love this chapter because we get to end it on a Nathan POV! We rarely get to read the story from Nate's point of view.
Hope you're enjoying the story so far!
What do you think this 'secret' that Mike and Nathan speak of is? Comment your theories!
See you for part 2!
Don't forget to vote and comment! <3
[Not proofread]