I would like to dedicate this to the lovely @Shoes_To_Die_For :) She is so sweet and she was one of my contest winners! She is seriously so nice, and you guys should go and fan her. She was the other winner of my contest. She tied with @SammySaysSo. :)
Happy New Year, I hope that 2013 goes great for all of you. :)
Enjoy!
Eleanor's POV
My eyes fluttered open, and I looked at my surroundings. I was on my side, and I was in the living room. My back hurt a bit from sleeping on the couch, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. I slowly sat up, stretching in the process. I heard slight whispers from behind me.
I got up from the couch and turned to see Perrie and Dani at the breakfast bar drinking coffee and talking. I wonder if they were mad at me, too. I would be.
I walked over to them, and when they noticed my presence, they stopped talking and looked at me. "Hey, Eleanor," Dani said, but not necessarily in a mean way. More so in a...calm way.
"Hi..." I shyly said.
"Did you sleep okay?" Perrie asked.
"I slept fine," I lied.
Perrie nodded her head and slightly smiled. "That's good," she calmly said.
"Yep..." I said awkwardly. After a few seconds of an awkward silence, I sighed and asked, "Are you guys mad at me?"
Danielle sighed and said, "No, we're not...we're just not exactly proud of what you did."
I nodded my head and said, "I'm not proud, either."
I was being completely honest.
"I'm sorry, guys. It was a stupid mistake I made when I was jealous, and I wish I could undo it," I said.
"I don't think we're the ones you need to be apologizing to. There's at least three other people in this house who do deserve one, though," Perrie said in a kind way.
I nodded my head and asked, "Who do you think I should apologize to first?"
"Well, who do you think is going to be the most forgiving?" Perrie asked.
"Josh," I said in all honesty.
"Start with him, and then go from there," Dani said.
I nodded my head and right after I turned around, I heard Dani's voice say, "Wait, El."
I turned around, and both Perrie and Dani came to give me a hug. "Good luck," Perrie whispered.
I nodded my head and smiled, walking up the stairs. I walked down the hallway and passed Louis and Harry's Room and Zayn and Liam's room and went down to Niall and Josh's. I breathed in and I knocked on the door.
I heard some shuffling and soon enough, a tired Josh opened the door, Niall still laying in his bed. When he saw me, he rolled his eyes. . "Can I help you? I'm sort of trying to sleep."
"I-I'm sorry...I-I'll leave..." I stuttered, turning around to walk away.
Before I could take more than a few steps, I heard him sigh and say, "El, come back here."
I turned around, tears staining my face, I'm sure. I had felt them begin to build up when he rolled his eyes.
I walked back, and Josh pulled me right into a hug. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you," he said.
I sniffled, pulling away. "No, I'm sorry. You had every right to snap at me. I was being completely unreasonable last night, and I was acting like a complete bitch. I just want you to know that I'm interested in you, and only you. I've realized that I was just jealous, but not because I couldn't have Louis. It's really confusing to try to understand, but I just want you to know that I'm so sorry, and the only thing I really want is to be happily together again, and--" he cut me off with a kiss.
After a few seconds, I laughed a bit and said, "That's a good way to get me to shut up."
Josh smiled, leaning in to kiss me again. "I forgive you. But, I think you should get everything sorted out with Louis and Jos first, okay?"
I nodded my head and he kissed my forehead. "Good luck," he whispered, letting me go.
I smiled, walking away. Thank God Josh forgave me. I don't know what would happen if he didn't.
Right as I was walking away, Louis emerged from his room. Perfect timing.
"Louis, c-can I talk to you?" I asked, getting all shy again.
He turned to face me and crossed his arms. "Depends. Are you only going to tell me what a bitch Josie is, or would you like to have an actual civil conversation?" he asked.
I sighed, closing my eyes. "I want to have a real conversation."
"I'm listening," he said, leaning against the wall.
I sighed and said, "I want to start out by saying...I'm really sorry. What I said about and to Joslynn wasn't in any way true. I regret everything I said. I know it may be hard to believe after seeing me like that, but after Josh got mad at me and refused to talk to me, I was forced to sit and think. I stayed up for a long time and thought about it. I just...came to a few realizations."
"And what would those realizations be?"
"Well, I think I was just...jealous," I sighed.
"But why? You're going out with Josh. You have no reason to be jealous. Josh has been nothing but good to you. Josh is a really good guy, and you can't just go and betray him like that."
I started to tear up once again. "I know. I am so, unbelievably lucky to have a person like Josh. Put, I think what made me jealous was the way you look at Joslynn. The way you treat her. The way you love her. I never felt that from you, nor have I ever felt that from anyone. We broke up because of the distance and we just couldn't take it. But, with Joslynn, you decide to just let her move in with you to avoid that. That hurt my feelings because you never wanted to do anything remotely close to that with me. I just...I was jealous that you never saw and treated me like that," I said.
"But, Eleanor, I've known Josie my entire life. I had only known you a few months, and I wasn't ready to let you pack up everything and move in with me. I didn't feel the love for you I felt with Josie. I don't want you to be hurt when I say that, because I know you weren't in love with me, either. We didn't know each other well enough and we hadn't been together long enough. I feel in love with Josie. I can't fight that," he said.
"Have you ever considered that's why I was jealous in the first place? It was because you love Joslynn. I felt like shit, Louis. I felt like you paid more attention to her than me the entire relationship. You made more efforts to keep in touch with her than with me, your girlfriend at the time. I always questioned if you liked Joslynn, and I was almost sure you were in love with her. Being your girlfriend, that was really hard to think about. I was worried that I wasn't good enough. I was worried that you would get rid of me for Joslynn the entire relationship. When you finally broke up with me, I was convinced for a while that you left me for Joslynn, and that really hurt my feelings, especially since Joslynn was one of my best friends. I didn't have a real conversation with her for weeks beecause of that. Did you ever consider that's why I was jealous? I was jealous because my boyfriend was looking at another girl the way I thought he should be looking at me, and I guess I'm still not fully over it," I breathed out, tears rolling down my cheeks.
Louis looked shocked. He came over, and, surprisingly, he hugged me. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that," he said.
He backed away a bit and wiped my tears away. "I don't want you to cry...I forgive you. But, you did really hurt Josie's feelings, and I think the number one person you should be apologizing to should be her."
I nodded my head and said, "I didn't expect you to be so understanding."
Louis smiled and shrugged. "I can be a pretty understanding person."
I hesitated a minute before I said, "Joslynn is really lucky to have you, Louis."
Louis smiled and said, "Thanks, Eleanor. I can say the same for Josh. You're a good girl."
I smiled and said, "Thanks...Now, if you don't mind, I have some apologizing to do."
I left Louis and started to make my way to Joslynn's bedroom.
I knocked on her door.
I hope she's going to forgive me for everything I've said and done.
She finally opened the door.
Joslynn's POV
I was currently in my bedroom. It was about 9:00 AM, but I had not eaten breakfast.
I woke up about an hour ago, and I had just gotten showered and I put on some light makeup. I attempted to put foundation or powder over my cuts from last night's events, but it stung too bad.
I guess I'll be wearing long sleeves today.
I changed out of my bath robe and into a light blue and white flannel shirt, but I kept the sleeves down. I put on some jean shorts, as well as some cowboy boots.
I wasn't going to lie, my slightly-inner country was showing. Maybe this is prettier than Eleanor.
Nah.
I then went to straighten my hair, and after not burning myself and doing the job successfully, I put my blonde hair into a high pony tail in the back. I topped it off with a blue bandanna wrapped around my head like a head band. I looked at myself; I looked alright, I guess.
Right after I finished doing my hair, there was a knock on my door. I got up from my vanity and I walked to my bedroom door and opened it. There stood Eleanor, still in her pajamas, which consisted of an over-sized sweatshirt and some black leggings.
"Can I help you?" I asked, a little bit annoyed, and at the same time trying to cover up my hurt.
"I, uh, wanted to talk to you..." Eleanor said.
"Why? So you can tell me more about how much of a bitch and a slut I am? No thanks," I said, starting to close the door. But, Eleanor's hand stopped it from closing.
"Please," was all she said, and not in her usual confident voice, but in a small begging voice.
I sighed, letting her in. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, a little disinterested.
"I just...wanted to say I was sorry," she said.
I looked at her a little surprised.
She was apologizing?
"Oh..." was all I could say.
"Yeah...um...I just wanted to tell you that I was really sorry I said those mean things to you, because they're not true. I already apologized to both Josh and Louis, and both of them were able to find it in their hearts to forgive me. I had a long conversation with Louis, and I've come to the conclusion that I was jealous because Louis and I never had what you guys do. I was just jealous and I felt like he was always placing you before me, and now he's actually going to go out with you, and it sort of made me feel like that was now true. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for that. I am with Josh, and I am happy with him. Dani and Perrie also are talking to me, and they were trying to help me out a bit. I was just hoping you could please forgive me...I really regret what I've done," she said, and I swore tears were starting to build up in her eyes.
I looked at her for a minute and just studied her face.
In her face, I could see fear, sorrow, and, most of all, she looked apologetic. You could tell by looking her in the eyes that she wasn't kidding.
However, I guess I took too long to speak.
"I think I get that you don't want to forgive me," she started. "I understand." With that, she started to walk out.
"Wait, Eleanor!" I said, pulling her by her arm. "I forgive you," I said.
"You do?" she asked.
I nodded and smiled a bit, giving her a hug. "I believe you. I can tell when you're telling the truth. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I was taking Louis away from you when you guys were dating. I can guarantee that neither Louis or I had the intentions of doing so. Eleanor, I love you, and you're one of my best friends. I can't afford to lose someone like you."
Eleanor nodded and smiled. "Thank you so much for forgiving me," she said, wiping away the last of her tears.
"No more tears, okay?" I asked, making her laugh a bit, but she nodded her head.
"No more tears," she agreed.
I smiled and said, "Good. How about you tell the other girls to get ready and we can go visit Louis' sisters?"
"Sounds good," she smiled, leaving the room.
I sighed, closing the door. Hopefully going to visit Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe, and Daisy will make me feel better. They always do. They're just absolute dolls, and I love being able to spend time with them.
It might get my mind off of the disgusting thing I did last night.
I still can't believe that I...cut. I was clean for three years. Now, I can only say I've been clean for a few hours. I feel ashamed.
That voice is evil. But, I haven't heard it since last night. That was the voice I always heard when I was battling my eating disorder. I was anorexic and bulimic. I starved myself often, and if I ate, I would make myself throw it up. I still regret it.
No one knew about it. Not even Louis. Louis knew I battled depression, but I never dared to tell him about my eating habits. If I did, I would never hear the end of it.
I had my eating disorder for a few months, but I eventually was able to battle it. It was mainly caused by a self confidence issue, but Louis really helped with that, and without him knowing it, he helped me pull myself out of it.
I don't think I'm going to cut again. It gives me a disgusting feeling, and Eleanor and I have made up. I'll be happy again...
Right?
Louis' POV
I was downstairs at the breakfast bar drinking coffee when I heard someone coming down the stairs. I looked and I saw Joslynn coming down. I'm not going to lie...she looked really cute today.
She looked cute in her little country outfit with her hair in a pony tail with a bandana. It's a break from her normal clothes, but it was really hot.
She came and sat next to me and leaned her head into the crook of my neck. "Good morning," she said sweetly.
I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "Good morning, love," I replied back. "How are you?"
"I'm okay," she replied quietly.
"Have you and Eleanor made up?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said. "We talked it over, and I've forgiven her. I was just tired of the fighting," she finished.
I smiled and said, "That's good. I'm happy for you two. I'm glad you two have made up."
"I don't think I'd be able to live if there was anymore fighting and drama," she sighed, making me laugh a little.
She then changed the subject. "What are you doing today?" She asked.
"I've got that interview today and I'll probably be going out with the boys after. What about you?" I asked.
"I think the girls and I are going to visit your mom and sisters today. We haven't talked to them much lately," she said.
I smiled and said, "That's good. They really like it when they get to see you girls. They love you all to death."
She didn't say or do anything but smile, and we sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I heard the clatter of high heels coming down the stairs. "Jos, are you ready to go?" I heard Perrie's voice call.
She sighed, removing her head from the crook of my neck. "That's my cue," she said, getting up from the stool and walking over to the girls.
Joslynn flashed me one last smile and waved goodbye along with the other girls before grabbing her purse and heading out the door with the other girls, leaving me alone once again.
Joslynn's POV
"Lot, that's gorgeous," I said to Lottie as she shows us the new dress she bought.
"And you're even prettier," Eleanor smiled.
Lottie smiled a bit and blushed and murmured, "Thanks."
"That Martin boy sure is lucky," Dani said, referring to her boyfriend.
"Speaking of him, how is he? Have you guys...kissed yet?" asked Perrie with a scandalous smile on her face.
Lottie's face turned bright red and she said, "That is none of your buisness!" making us all laugh.
"Just make sure he treats you right, okay?" I said to her.
She nodded her head before Fizzy came into the room. "I think that interview the boys are on is about to start."
We all walked out and gathered around the TV. We were right on time.
"Hello! I am James Hart and I am here with the boys of One Direction!"
The boys all waved at the camera and smiled.
"So, One Direction was here earlier this week, as most of you know. Usually, I do not have a guest more than once, unless it is within a few years time. I did not schedule this interview with these boys, they requested it, so would you boys like to tell us why you are all back with us today?"
The boys all looked at each other before looking at Louis, and he nodded before he spoke up.
"Well, last time we were here you asked us all about our girlfriends, and you specifically asked me about Joslynn. We scheduled this interview because I needed to clear some things up."
"Did you two break up?" James asked.
"No, not exactly..." Louis said.
"Then, what happened?" James questioned.
"Well, I'm going to be completely honest, because I know that's the thing I should do, and I owe it to the fans. When I said that Joslynn was my girlfriend, I wasn't telling the truth. Before the interview I had been...well, imagining what it would be like if she was my girlfriend. When you asked me that question, that just sort of...slipped out. I really didn't mean to say it. I knew I needed to correct it, but I wanted to avoid complete awkwardness, and not only that, but it...it didn't feel right to me if I were to fix what I had said. After that, things got blown completely out of proportion, and now...I have to make things right. I want the fans to know that I did not intend to lie to them. That was not at all my mindset. I think this is all a big misunderstanding, and I just wanted everyone to know that," he finished.
James nodded his head and said, "So, where do you and Joslynn stand now? How did she react when she heard you say this?"
"Well, at first she was mad. Very, very mad. But, we eventually were able to make up. I'm making it up to her by making this all right, and this is why I wanted to schedule the interview. I knew that I owed it to her to set everything straight. But, for now, we are not together."
"Well, that's very nice of you to make it up to her and make things right. You're a good man. However, you said you were thinking about her being your girlfriend before the interview. I think it's obvious you like her, so why aren't you two together?" James asked.
"Well, let me set something straight. I don't want loads of magazines and people thinking I'm making all of this up to hide some 'super secret' relationship, because that's not it at all. Joslynn knows how I feel about her. She feels the same way towards me. But, we aren't ready to jump into a relationship just yet. She has recently had some struggles in her personal life, and she wants to have some time before we jump into anything. But, she knows I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me. With us knowing that right now, I think we're going to be okay until she's ready."
James nodded his head once again and said, "So, you're in love. Are you sure? Usually, it takes months for someone to realize they're in love with their significant other."
"I've never been so positive about anything in my life. Joslynn and I have known each other since she was born. We've been alongside each other for our entire life. I am completely positive about my feelings towards her."
James nodded and said, "Well, there you have it, folks. That's the story on Joslynn Davis and Louis Tomlinson. I'm afraid I didn't really have any other material planned, as most of the stuff was answered last time, so this is it for this show. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you tomorrow on Star Gossip."
Danielle then flicked off the TV and everyone looked at me. I sighed loudly. "I didn't know being in love with a pop star could be such work."
The girls all laughed and everyone, even the little girls, came to hug me.
---
That night, I was sitting in my dimly lit room, reading the latest issue of Seventeen magazine when there was a knock on my door.
"Come in!" I called, looking up from my magazine.
Right then, Louis peered around the corner of the door and smiled, letting himself in. "Hey," he said.
"Hey, you're back. How was your night out with the boys?" I smiled, putting the magazine down.
He came over and sat next to me. "It was good. We had lots of fun. We went out to eat and just had a great time. How was your time with the girls today?"
"That's good. And, it was lots of fun. Your sisters are the sweetest things. We even had a tea party with Daisy and Phoebe," I laughed.
Louis laughed a bit and there was a pause. "What did you think of the interview today?" he asked.
"I think you said everything you needed to. You were completely honest, and I think the fans are going to really appreciate that almost as much as I do."
Louis smiled before kissing me on the cheek and giving me a hug. "I love you," he said.
"I love you, too," I smiled back.
There was a few seconds of silence before I leaned into him. I gave him a kiss, one that lasted only but a few seconds. The only reason I did that was because, for the first time in days, everything felt right.
Why not top it off with a kiss?
A/N: What did y'all think? Comment below!
Also, I believe that Shoes_To_Die_For deserves a promo!
You all should check out her story, Confused Much?
Here's a little summary of it:
"New York City. Portrayed as the busiest city in the world, but behind it's luxurious atributes is your average New Yorker; Amanda Miller.
She has been longing for something for as long as she can remember, and that being an adventure. Who knew that when sharing some of her small talent in Times Square, she would encounter five boys pleading for her help.
Their favour opened a gateway of experience for this longing individual.
But when you start to feel like nothing... when someone pushes you away, you don't know what to do."