May 31,2020
The place of today's photo shoot is different than the last and it seems to be a bigger park. There are more greenery around and since I arrived earlier I have been exploring the deserted park. I seem to be the only one here and that's probably why I have been in my brain for so long.
Another day where my schedule is full as my head. Thoughts of seeing my new friend and being able to talk to someone thats not my parents makes me look forward to today. I had a rough week with lots of dance practice and extra jobs varying from running errands for my neighbors and teaching a kids dance class. I haven't had a minute for myself and even though I will be doing another job it does not feel like work anymore. Being able to be around someone that listens to me makes it all worth it. I know I have my parents but I can't go to them with how I feel. They have their own problems with my dad being in a wheelchair and my mom having to help him with everything. How can I share my feelings when I know theirs are so much worse. They all seem so sad lately and it's because of how drastic our life has changed. My mom tries to put up a front of always being positive but I know she hates seeing my dad like this. The wheelchair is not the problem, the real problem is his attitude. He has given up on life and it's hard to even see him smile. He is no longer the excited, adventurous guy I have known all my life. They both do their best to make us think they are happy but I know the truth.
This might sound dramatic but meeting someone like Ara has been a blessing. After we met over a month ago we have been texting almost everyday and she is always checking up on me. She has been planning a girls night for today and I will get to finally meet her best friend Hae. She talks about her a lot and I am very excited to meet her. I really hope she likes me and I could be part of their friendship. Having two best friends could be pretty cool and probably for the first time in my life I would have people that really do care about me. I have tried my best to make friends with the girls on my dance group but they don't seem to like me. I have wrecked my brain thousands of times to figure out why they seem to ignore me but I can't figure it out. Back in Paris I was friends with everyone in my group and I never had any issues like this. I was still the shy one of the group but the rest of the crew treated me like their little sister and looked out for me. I don't know if that will ever happen with this new group. It doesn't seem likely the way things are going.
"Hey Sun" I hear from behind me and I turn to see my beautiful friend walk towards me.
"Good morning" I say bowing my head and I take my mask off to show her my smile.
"How long have you been waiting?" Ara asks copying me by taking her mask off and placing her many bags on the grass.
"Not long, I was exploring the place" I say moving my hand around to point at the gorgeous landscape.
"Are you ready for today?" she questions and I shake my head in a yes. "Perfect we shouldn't take that long today. I only need a few shots and I think we will be done. " She says taking out her equipment and cameras.
"Great I have a class this afternoon and I don't want to be late. I really want to finish in time for our girls night" I emphasize really hoping this wont take long.
"Oh yes how can I forget. I am really looking forward to signing Mia up for one of those classes once she is a little bit older" Ara is aware that another of my side gigs is teaching a toddler ballet class. I got the job through my dance company due to being the only one with extensive ballet training. The classes are only a few days of the week and are held at the same dance studio the group uses for practice.
"I would love to have her as one of my students" I genuinely say because my students have to be some of my favorite people. I know I am too young to think of having kids but I enjoy being arounds kids. Between my students and my little brother I am always surrounded by them. I feel like I was born to be a mother and thats another goal I wish to accomplish when the time is right.
The photoshoot goes smoothly as expected but we end up taking longer like last time. I don't know if maybe I was not giving her good pictures or maybe she just needed more than she anticipated. Once we find a good stopping point we decide to take a break. I feel my legs give out and I take a seat on the bench closest to us. I have been doing so many different positions for long amounts of time and my body is starting to hurt. For some reason this has been tougher than dancing for multiple hours. I take this time to search through my backpack and I find my water bottle. I notice Ara is on the phone and I try to give her some privacy but something makes me look at her and I notice she looks different. I am concern for her since she seems to be ready to pass out and I ask her if everything is ok.
"I don't know, I am trying to call my daughter's father and he does not answer"Ara explains and I see her eyes fill with worry as she speaks. I try to find reasons on why he is not answering. Doing my best to calm her down but it does not seem to work. Once she tells me that she needs to go I notice her sit down on the bench and I know she is not feeling well. I tell her I will get a taxi to take us and she is surprise when she hears me say I don't want her to go alone. The taxi arrives in a few minutes and I pick up all her bags with mine knowing she can't concentrate on anything right now. Once we are finally in the cab I notice I didn't have any time to change clothes. I am still wearing my pastel green bodysuit with matching lyrical skirt. I am in full ballet outfit and I am about to got to someone's house who I have never met before. I look through my backpack again and I am thankful I had packed my oversized white FILA hoodie and at least I wont feel as exposed as before. I have been so busy with making sure Ara is fine that when I look out the window I notice we are arriving at some expensive looking apartment buildings. I ask her If this is where Mia's father lives and she explains something about Mia's father having several homes and sharing this particular one with his friends. I don't know what she means by that but I don't ask any further questions not wanting to intrude. We are inside one of the building in less than a few minutes and we make it to one of the floors in record time. I don't pay attention on the way up and I don't even know what floor we left the elevator.
I end up carrying all her bags with me and even though she offers to help several times I tell her its ok. I know the less she has to worry about the better she will feel. We arrive at a door and it looks like this is the place. I watch in silence as she puts in the code and opens the door. She steps inside and I follow unsure if this is the right thing to do. We walk down a long hallway and the place seems to be empty until we get to what looks like a living room and I notice a black hair guy sitting on a burnt orange couch with a little girl sleeping on his chest. I look at Ara and she seems to be relief to finally know that her daughter is fine. I smile once I feel the same relief as Ara and now that I am not worried about my friend I look back at the guy holding Mia. This time I take longer really looking at him and I notice he is also asleep but for some reason he looks very familiar. I cant think of who he reminds me off and after a few seconds of staring at his face it finally hits me. Mia's father is none other than one of the most famous Idols of Korea and the world. I hear myself say "It's really him" and I am in total shock that I am in the presence of Min Yoongi.
I have known of BTS since I lived in Paris even though I didn't really followed their music. They are worldwide known and had a huge following in Paris. Some of my French friends absolutely loved them but I on the other hand didn't really get into them. Is not that I didn't like their music, I really enjoyed the few songs I heard but I was always as busy as I am now. Art school and after school practice was my life back then and I never had the time to listen to anything else that was not classical music. That's something else that has changed drastically since I have been in Korea. Most of the songs we practice to are Kpop and is a big part of that playlist. I have slowly joined the fandom but I still have a lot to learn about them.
Ara speaks and she brings me back to the now. She confirms my suspicions by admitting that Yoongi is Mia's father. I can not see myself but I probably have a stupid expression on my face right now. I work on getting out of my shock when I notice her walking towards what I believe is the kitchen. I contemplate on what to do and I end up deciding to follow her like a lost puppy staring down at the floor under me unsure of what to do. I hear her speak and I hesitate looking up but i cent help it. Once my eyes meet the person in front of me It takes me while to breathe. I am in front of another member of BTS, beautiful Jimin.
"Hello Ara" Jimin speaks and I can hear my heart want to break out of my chest. I can't believe this is really happening. I notice he looks at me and I feel my face burn. I unconsciously move further behind Ara shielding myself from the awkward situation. I am acting like a small scared child and honestly thats how I feel. I was not expecting to ever meet any of them. I have met other smaller idols before doing backup dancing gigs with my group but I never thought I would meet an Idol of this magnitude.
"Jimin, this is Sun-Hee we work together and she has become a good friend" Ara introduces me and I think she knows I am acting weird because she moves to the side giving Jimin full access to me. My face burns even more now that I am fully in front of him.
"Hi Sun-Hee, I'm Jimin nice to meet you" Jimin speaks again and he seems to be genuine. This time his words are softer and it honestly calms me a small amount.
"Hiiiii" is all I can say and I can't even hear myself. I take a deep breath to calm myself further and I try to speak again with a little more confidence. "Nice to meet you too Mr. Park" I say and this time I know they hear me. I watch as my words take Jimin by surprise and I don't think he is use to so many formalities but he doesn't seem bother by it. Judging by his smile he likes it.
"Please call me Jimin" he says with a bigger smile and now that I am able to breathe better. I notice how handsome he really is. He is even more handsome than he appears on TV and I didn't know that could be possible.
"Thank you Sr, I mean Jimin" I stutter and I know I look ridiculous but both Jimin and Ara smile and it eases my anxiety. After a brief silence of just both of them smiling at me Ara speaks. She excuses herself to go wake up Yoongi but Jimin stops her just in time. He explains that Mia basically beat them up and she should be left alone. It makes me smile knowing that a 1 year old tired out her father and uncle.
Jimin changes the subject and asks if we eaten and Ara tries her best to convince me to stay for lunch. I don't want to be rude by saying no but I know I need to be at my afternoon class in less than an hour and I really don't have time to sit down and eat. Plus even if I had the time I don't think I would be able to eat in front of both Yoongi and Jimin. I tell Ara its best if I go and I remind her of my full schedule but she doesn't seem to be taking no for an answer because she grabs my hand and pulls me toward the dining room table between the living room and kitchen.
I follow unsure what else to do but I feel her stop suddenly when another voice is heard. The deep masculine voice says a small greeting and I look past Ara as my whole body freeze when I notice another member, Jhope. For a moment everything around me fades and all I can concentrate on are his dark brown eyes. It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to notice anything else about him. The rest of the room goes back to normal and I hear Ara speak but I still can't take my eyes off of him and I painstakingly pay attention to his every move. I take more details in noticing his light brown hair and the small mole on his lips. I notice his gray FILA sweatshirt with matching shorts and beanie and even though he is dresses so chill, he looks like he belongs in a fashion catalog. I notice everything about him and I do my best to stop staring by listening to the conversation around me just in time to hear Ara. She introduces me again and try to speak unsure if this time I will be able to say any words.
"Hello Mr. Jung" I surprise myself by actually speaking but my words are weak and nervous.
"Always glad to meet new friends" He says and his voice is darker than before. His reaction to my formality is different than Jimin. He seems to enjoy them way more. I bow down to finish my greeting and honestly I am just doing anything that helps me avoid that devilish smile and stare.
"I was just trying to convince her to stay for lunch" Ara speaks and I am thankful I have a distraction by looking her way.
"No Ara, I should go. I have classes in an hour" I remind her of my busy schedule once again.
"Oh yes I forgot, but how are you going to get there?" Ara asks concerned and it warms my heart to know that she genuinely cares.
"No worries Ara, I can take the bus" I say trying to ease her worries.
"Non sense, Hobi hyung brought his car today he can take you anywhere you need to go" I hear Jimin speak and I turn to see him smile.
"Thats a good idea Jimin, thank you" Ara says agreeing with him.
"No need, you don't have to do that" I try to express my gratitude but at the same time I don't want to put anyone out by trying to help me. Specially not two of the most famous and busiest people in the world. How could I get in the car with any of them? I would probably pass out before I even get to it.
"Yes I do" Jhope says and his determination makes it hard to say no any longer. But that does not mean I stop trying.
"Seriously, I am very thankful for the offer but I can take a bus" I say again hoping they will understand that this would make me very uncomfortable.
"I am thankful to you for coming here with me and making sure I was ok, You are letting Jhope take you to your class" Ara says turning to me and holding both my arms in hers. The sincerity in her eyes is hard to deny and I could say no to Jhope but not to my new friend.
"Thank you" It's all I can say and her smile is as big as this room. I know she is happy she won.
"Let me go grab my keys and phone" Jhope say going back to where he came from and I watch as Jimin follows him. Once Ara and I are alone she apologizes for not telling me about Yoongi and the others. I try to explain that everything is fine, I know this was her life and she needed to tell me when she was ready. This is none of my business and I can't judge her on any of her actions.
"I am excited for tonight" Ara says changing the subject and I am glad she is back to her happy self.
"I cant wait, what time will you and Hae pick me up?" I ask excitedly. I really can't wait for tonight.
"I don't know I think around 6" Ara says and I watch as she changes her gaze to something or someone behind me.
"Where are you going tonight" I hear another voice that's not Jimin not Jhope and I turn around to see a sleepy Yoongi holding baby Mia.
"You are awake" Ara exclaims, and I watch as she walks towards Mia to kiss her head. "This is Sun, my coworker and friend" Ara says introducing me again. Yoongi looks my way and he smiles warmly. He seems to be upset but as soon as he notices me he is back to being his warm self I always see on TV.
"Mr. Min" I say bowing to Yoongi.
"I am sorry to interrupt your conversation Sun, but can I talk to Ara for a moment" Yoongi says and his eyes are as warm as his smile.
"Can it wait until I see my friend out?" Ara speaks and she seems to be immune to his charms.
Yoongi tells us he will put the baby down and he walks away smiling my way again. "Don't pay attention to the grumpy one, he just needs to sleep some more" Ara says and I can't help the chuckle that escapes me and to my surprise I am joined by Jhope and Jimin who have come back from their room.
"You know him very well Ara" Jhope says laughing out loud and his laugh has to be the sexiest thing I have heard. How is this man so gorgeous.
"Yes she does" Jimin follows.
"Ready?" Jhope asks looking straight at me and I inhale a fast breath caught off guard. I bow my head in a yes not finding the words in my brain filled with Jhope.
"Have a safe trip and I will see you tonight" Ara says and her words break me out of my mind. I hug my friend and Jhope, Jimin and I head out the door.
The walk to the car is an awkward one with Jimin asking me questions about myself. I know he is trying to make me feel comfortable and with each word he says I feel better and better. He has this great way of making you feel special when he looks at you and it does not seem to be fake. He truly looks at you.
"So you are one of the models from Ara's company?" He questions and this is the first time I notice no one has vet an eye at how I am dressed and this is probably the reason why.
"Yes and No" I say smiling. "I'm actually a dancer" I watch as Jimin eyes light up and Jhope who had been distracted this whole time looks at me surprised.
"Really?" Jimin says excitedly.
"I am in a dance crew. We mostly do backup work and on my free time I do some extra jobs here and there. That's how I met Ara. Her company needed a ballerina for one of the photo shoots and I got the job" I say pointing at my outfit hoping this will explain why I look like I belong in a play.
"Does that mean that you know ballet?" Jimin asks and he seems to be really interested in that subject.
"Yes, I went to an art school in Paris and my major was ballet and contemporary dance" I say and Jimin is just like Ara, he could make anyone talk and talk for days.
"Me too, I went to an art school here in Korea before I joined BTS. How long did you live in Paris?"
"Since I was 2 years old. My parents moved there for a job and we only came back to Korea a few months ago due to some things we couldn't control" I try to stay as vague as possible. I really don't want to be the girl that complains about her sad life every chance she gets.
"Oh that's awesome, I love Paris and try to visit when ever I can" Jimin says without missing a beat and I believe he is not asking me anymore questions to give me privacy.
Before I know it we are in front of the car and I watch as Jhope gets on the driver's side and Jimin opens the back door for me. He is such a gentleman and it confirms that they are really what they portrait to their fans. I take a seat in the back behind Jimin and he continues on his questioning turning around sometimes to look at me. I tell him all about my non existent life and how glad I am to have met someone like Ara. While talking to Jimin I notice that Jhope is quiet and not himself. He always seems so outgoing and I was not expecting him to be this serious. Through out the drive I catch myself looking at him through the rearview mirror and I can't help it. His face is so handsome and his jawline is pure perfection. But Once we are close to the studio I take a last look and regret ever thinking of doing it because I feel my heart jump and my hands shake when I am met with his eyes looking back at mine.