Play when you see *
Aaliyah Moreno
I give myself a once over as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror. I turn to the side to see what the dress that Aurielle got for me looks like. It's safe to say it hugs me in all the right places and looks like something I'd wear a lot. I'm so grateful she convinced me to wear it.
It was getting dark out, the days now getting shorter as autumn rolls slowly on into winter. But there was still enough light outside for it to be a gorgeous evening.
"Aaliyah honey, are you okay in there?" Harry questions from the other side of the bathroom door.
"I'm perfectly fine love, I'll be out soon I promise." I say back loud enough for him to understand what I said. I smile to myself as I look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't wait for tonight.
It's almost as if yesterday's events pushed themselves to the back of my brain. Apart from the parts of it I wanted to keep at the front. Like Harrys new nickname for me and him sitting on the balcony with him. The reason I wasn't talking much on there was because I just wanted to soak up the moment, I just never wanted it to end.
It was the calm after our storm. And the good thing about it is we were in that storm together, but sought shelter with each other too. It just took us some time to realise that the shelter was actually each other. I honestly don't know where I'd be if Harry wasn't here with me. This man has just flipped my life upside down.
But I'm not mad about it, sometimes it's nice wandering about the unknown.
"Aaliyah!" Harry says through laughing from downstairs.
Jesus Aaliyah, way to go getting lost in your own head.
"On my way!" I shout back. Before opening the bathroom door and making my way down the hall. I cant help but express my giddiness through a bright smile and pigmented cheeks as I walk down the stairs.
"Woah." Harry says with not even a hint of secrecy. He knows what he's doing. He finds his way to crawl under my skin and ignite goosebumps all over it through the simplest of words.
"You look so handsome." I compliment him back as my fingertips graze lightly over the shoulder of his black tuxedo. My fingers have a mind of there own as they trace over the white patterned lace of his shirt and make there way along his black silk tie.
"I want to give you something petal." He says, my stomach immediately feeling sparks of electricity with the new nick name. I loved everything about it. And although the five letter word didn't have much meaning to It, he gave it a meaning and a purpose regarding me. The reason he gave me was for everything surrounding sunflowers, although the word was small and he used it lightly, I knew he meant it in a way that would engrave itself onto my soul forever.
"What is it?" I ask curiously as he keeps his eyes on mine but his hands navigate there way through the inside pocket of his blazer. He pulls out something but keeps a tight grip on it in the palm of his hand.
"Close your eyes." He whispers in my ear as he walks behind me. I laugh slightly under my breath and close my eyes gently.
I feel his hands go over my head before a cold piece of metal is placed on my neck, I feel him fumble around behind my neck before he lets go. He pecks soft kisses on the back of my neck while his hands squeeze my shoulders gently.
"Hey that tickles." I laugh and shift away but still keeping my eyes closed like he asked. This man had some form of dominance over me, almost as if I was drowned under some spell of his and I couldn't come up for air. But If this is what it feels like, I'm content staying under the water.
It's safe here.
"Okay, follow me." He says while engulfing his hand in my nimble ones. He leads me toward the living room and immediately a cold draft runs up my arms from all the open space. I keep my spare hand beside me in grasp of support. My fingertips brush gently over the soft fabric of the couch before I feel us come to a halt.
"Then this way." He says while taking a hold of my shoulders once again and spinning me gently so my back gets the radiating heat from the setting sun through the glass doors behind us.
"Open." He whispers.
With that I open my eyes to be met with myself once again in a rectangular mirror. I squint my eyes gently as the reflection of the sun enters them but I quickly realise the sun isn't reflecting off the mirror into my eyes. It's reflecting off a silver pendant hung around my neck.
"Harry isn't this yours?" I ask while walking closer to the mirror and placing my hand flat on my chest, over the piece of Jewellery.
"It was my mother's, then she gave it to me. And now it's yours" he says looking at me through the mirror.
"Harry I cant possibly have this, it's meaningful and if your mother gave it to you I don't want to take that away from you. I haven't even met her yet, imagine her face if I walked in to see I'd taken her sons necklace."
"Yeah, imagine. But it's okay, I'm sure she won't mind at all. Besides, she'd love you. I'm sure she'd be more than happy you're wearing it. If anything she'd most likely tuck your hair behind your ear and tell you how beautiful you look." He says softly.
"Plus, whenever we're together your eyes are always on it." He says cheekily. I swat his arm gently before looking at myself in the mirror.
I take it between my thumb and forefinger and twist it very gently, the sun refracting off all angles. I exhale a sigh
"Do you not like it?" His face drops slightly, very slightly. But to me it broke my heart.
"Harry, I love it more than anything in this world. I just still feel bad." I say meaning every word. This was beautiful and so was the small gesture.
"Aaliyah look at me." Harry says in a tone that what's soft but very dominant at the same time. I hesitate before turning towards him and looking him deeply in the eyes.
"While you're stood here feeling bad about something I willingly gave to you, you're failing to see how I'm saying that you look beautiful in it. And my mother would think so too. It's okay she hasn't seen you, I'm sure she'll understand." He says endearingly, making my heart flutter along with the wings of the butterflies in my stomach.
"Well then I have no option but to accept your lovely words and beautiful gift to me." I say while looking down at my chest to see the necklace sitting perfectly across it in the centre.
"Well petal, I believe I owe you a trip do a dance." He says while reaching for my hand, leaving me no second chances on backing away from the gift of his cross necklace. It felt like it belonged on me, maybe that's primarily down to the fact that it's his. It felt like home and it made me feel safe, more so warm and loved. Just knowing I have a little piece of him with me forever.
"Indeed." I say politely as he takes my hand in his walking toward the front door.
"Aaliyah I know I only said one word when you came down the stairs. But I need you to know that I had to find a way to fit one million words into one. You look absolutely ethereal." He says and it took my by surprise a bit. I didn't know what to say back to that with words but I think my pink tinted cheeks and slight nose scrunch answers for me. Harry laughs lightly under his breath and my reaction to his words. He just knows how much control he has over his dominant words and it's enough to make my heart skip roughly three beats.
We step outside onto the front patio leading down to the stoned stairs. I keep a tight grip on his hand in the hope I don't fall face first down the stairs in my heels.
"Do they not hurt your feet?" Harry asks.
"Nope, it's a trick. Put plasters on the back of your heel and around your pinky toe and the toe next to It and you're all set." I say remembering Raven taught me that the first time we went out together and she convinced me to wear heels. I miss her too much, more than she'll ever know. I said I'd ring her yesterday but after the events that took place I just was not in the mood.
"Clever girl." He says while booping my nose ever so gently with his forefinger. Almost every single finger of his was coated by a ring. I never thought someone would be able to pull it off, but of course Harry was able to. What can't he pull off? Heck, he'd even be able to pull of the dress and heels it wearing.
We walk, we walk through the cool and chilled air. The perfect night for a slow dance. I'm so glad me and Harry are on good terms now, I hated arguing with him. It felt as though everything I said just chipped off a piece of my heart up till a point where it just completely broke.
I rub my hand gently up and down my arm as we walk under the dimly lit road. The sound of our shoes echo along the concrete floor and Harry wraps his arm around me.
"Where'd you get the dress?" He asks, I remember we went through our suitcases and it wasn't in there before.
"Oh me and Aurielle went to all the stalls for a bit just for a cool off and we got it at this little one with all different sorts of stuff. It wasn't far down from the coffee shop actually. I saw a label for a sunflower necklace but it wasn't there, cant say I wasn't disheartened by it but it's okay. I got this dress and I feel divine in it."
"Good, so you should my love. You should feel divine in it. You look it." He says. Ethereal and divine. Does this man want to make my cheeks go as red as my dress?
We turn the corner and go down the ally covered in overgrown pretty pink roses that are now slowly dying as the season changes.
"Aren't they so pretty." I say and feel a lump form in the back of my throat.
"They are." He agrees.
"What's up petal?" He asks out of curiosity, making me realise my sadness was evident on the outside.
"Nothing it's stupid." I say and try to laugh it all off and sweep it under the carpet. I never normally do that but what I was thinking really was stupid.
"Hey." He says tugging on my arm to stop us from walking for the time being.
"You don't have to tell me, I won't force it out. But anything you tell me won't sound stupid, whatsoever. You can trust me."
"I know, that's why I love you." I say and begin walking again. I don't know whether Harrys following me again. But as I walk my heart flutters at his words.
Trust. I can trust him.
Trust is a massive thing for me right now. I know what happened yesterday is over and behind us, and as much as I love Harry there's always that one part of me that doesn't really trust anyone. I mean... my own father. I thought I could trust him and look where that ended up.
Trust is a big thing. You put your heart and soul into another persons hand to hold in the hope they don't drop it. I don't know why it's so hard for me to do sometimes. It's almost as if I don't even trust myself most of the time.
But that's the thing Harry, you proved me wrong. You showed me that it's okay to totally immerse myself in another person. You helped me recognise I wasn't scared about another holding my heart and soul, it was the anticipation of handing it over. But you showed me the delicacy of your soul and heart as I held yours in my hands. And you helped show me that I shouldn't be so scared. For even if you did drop it, you pieced it back together with your bare hands. And every time you did, I had nothing to be worried about for I knew you'd always be there, as will I Harry. And I'll hold onto your heart and soul forever.
Your heart beats inside of mine, I can feel it Harry. And your soul is the warmth I feel with every ounce of happiness or joy ignited in my bones.
My past was hanging over me like a burden and you welcomed me into the present. You showed me everything will be alright and that ultimately... it will be okay.
-
"Hey lovebirds!" Aurielle says as she comes over to greet us in a warm, welcoming hug.
"Hey Aurielle!" I say back.
"Okay let me see, do a little twirl or curtesy or something of a sort." She says while extending her arm but still keeping a grip on my hand as she gives me a once over.
"You look so beautiful! I knew this would compliment you Aaliyah." She says. Lord, everyone's making the butterflies in my stomach go haywire. I'm not mad about it at all, it's a comforting feeling.
She looked beautiful too. The top half of her red locks were tied back and held up by nothing but a daisy pin, while the rest sat contently curled on her shoulders, just over the straps of her sage green dress. I look her up and down too, her dress had a leg slit and in the bottom were embroidered silver flowers that were delicately placed all around the bottom of the dress. It all matched her honey, golden complexion and brought out her eyes.
"And this is a beauty." She states taking Harry's... well- my cross necklace gently in the palm of her hand.
"Isn't it." I agree and look down at the silver charm again.
"Aurielle! It starts in five minutes!" Grayson shouts from around the corner. Auri rolls her eyes while still looking at me but I knew she aimed it towards Grayson.
"Coming!" She plasters a wide smile across her face before looking back at me and giving me almost an 'ugh' look. I knew deep down she cared about him, they're dance partners. I know she wouldn't have the same chemistry with anyone else and I've only known her for just over twenty-four hours.
"We'll catch up with you in a bit. You go catch up with your lover." I say jokingly before she shoots me a deadpanned look but fighting the urge to smile.
"See you in a bit, hurry though! It will start soon." She says before walking off around the corner to walk up the hill to go see Grayson.
I walk slowly around the corner to be met with the same stoned road all the stalls were at but shut just for tonight. My breath was taken back by the road being lit up by hanging lights all up it, leading my view towards people getting into formation slowly.
"Ready?" He asks while snaking his arms around my waist and pressing gentle kisses up my neck towards the sweet spot behind my ear.
"As I'll ever be." I say back while still staying stuck in my trance and looking at the hanging coloured lights, all ranging from purples to pinks, fluorescent blues and oranges. It felt so cosy and warm on this chilled autumn evening.
He engulfs his ring covered hands in mine before we start slowly walking up the hill. I lift the front of my dress up slightly and watch my feet so I don't fall face first through getting my heel caught in a stone. The closer we got the more it felt like a missing piece of my heart was being put back into my chest and I didn't even know I needed it. My heart felt like it belonged here, with Harry and the surroundings.
We make our way into the circle of people looking out of adoration into their partners eyes. Me and Harry begin to do the same, we join the outskirts of the huge circle and all the chatter that once filled my ears begins to calm and I hear nothing but my own staggered breaths.
*(music.)
It was at this moment the world around me seemed to all fall away, leaving nothing but my sight in Harrys. It was at this time the world seemed to slow down. Harrys hand moved to the back of my waist and held a consistent tight grip, while my arm snaked up to hold his shoulder. Both of our spare hands interlocked and in that moment they felt inseparable.
Through all this doing, my sight never left Harry's. My eyes were glued onto his. And when he looked back into mine in return, it wasn't a glance as such. It was an appraisal, almost a sweet lullaby. His eyes held me still and reminded me that I'm here, in this moment. He was telling me 'I'm here, as are you. And we aren't going anywhere.' And I've never held onto such desperation of being in another's view. It was so much better than hearing simple words spoken. It felt as though time had frozen, allowing me to soak up every ounce of this moment and I never wanted for it to slip through my fingers.
But truthfully, time had never frozen.
I deep sigh a comfort hum as me and Harry start swaying gently with the music. I follow the steps Grayson taught me, and I'll tell you...they really paid off.
"For your eyes only, I show you my heart. For when you're lonely, and forget who you are. I'm missing half of me, when we're apart. For now you know me for your eyes only." He begins to sing along to the music softly.
"For your eyes only." Those words were enough to make my heart flutter and cause me to bite the inside of my cheeks.
"I didn't know you knew this song?" I say back and unlinking our fingers to have both my arms rest on his shoulders. I have the palms of my hands rest on the back of his head as my fingers softly intertwine with the fibres of his hair.
"I'm full of surprises petal." He shrugs smugly before lifting me up and spinning me around a three hundred and sixty degree circle. I squeal to myself out of major excitement. If I could wrap up moments like these in cotton wool and tuck them safely away then I would.
But it's the fact that I can't that makes me want to hold onto it just a little bit tighter and never let it go.
He makes me feel so safe. And with nothing but the sound of the music and dim lights surrounding us, I couldn't feel more free. He takes one of my hands from behind his head and twirls me around in a graceful, swift movement. I turn back around to see him looking down at me and smiling.
I have my privileges of being smaller than Harry, the hugs are better, his smiles seem bigger and the dimple in his cheeks are ten times more prominent when he looks down.
The crowd around us seemed to disperse slightly and separate while still keeping some form of hold on their partners hand. Harry looks down at me out of confusion, but I had my ways. It would all be clear to him soon, and I hope he likes it.
I'm doing this to return a favour, he took me on this trip when he didn't have to. He offered to take me here when I was at one of my lowest points and felt nothing but subdued. He welcomed the light right back into my soul and radiated warmth back into me, and I've never truly thanked him. So now, after everything, it's only fair I let a little extra light into his life too.
"Are you coming or what?" I ask while turning back around to see Harry still stood with a raised eyebrow. The music was still playing but was becoming dulled slightly through the mutters of people. I bite by front teeth over my bottom lip to prevent my smile from being way too obvious, but I think my ability to not keep still was failing me.
He follows me further up the road slightly where we are met with everyone being separated and being guided towards different tables. Here we go...
"Table four please m'lady." The kind gentleman says who was doing his best at keeping the crowds in some sort of organised mob. I tighten my grip on Harrys hand as I weave my way through the crowds of people in pretty dresses and well polished tuxedos until I saw a sign with the number four hanging loosely on a table, being held up by nothing but sellotape as it blew in the wind.
"Just one please." I say in a slight hurry in the hope the person at the table didn't spoil it before I got to tell Harry. He hands me over the big sheet of cream coloured fabric, marker pen and lighter. I shoot him a quick smile and polite nod before walking back down through the mob of people. I couldn't hold Harrys hand but he let me know he was right behind me by keeping his hand firmly on my shoulder.
"Want to tell me what all this is about now?" He asks through slight laughter as we walk back down to our original dancing spot, leaving plenty of room for other couples to do their one.
"Okay, but first I want you to write something on here." I say and hand him the black marker pen before sitting down on the stoned floor, he swiftly follows my movements as he sits down next to me.
"What do I write?" He asks while taking the cap of the pen.
"Anything." I say and lean back with both my arms supporting me. I watch as he sticks his tongue ever so slightly to the side while his eyebrows furrow out of concentration. He moves his arm slowly, evidently not wanting to mess up. I bite the inside of my cheek gently to stop me from smiling about how he didn't want to rush it.
He turns around and looks at me with a wide grin on his face, I roll my eyes and laugh wondering what he could've possible wrote or drawn on there. He shifts himself around, holding the sheet to his chest.
"Ready?" He asks, I give him a hesitant nod. He laughs discretely to himself before turning the sheet around. I'm met with our names in the centre of a sunflower and petals all around us. It looked like something straight out of rapunzel, and it was only going to get more accurate.
"Harry that's so pretty." I say, not even caring how much excitement I show this time. He went out of his way to decorate it with something I never Stop talking about and it made me realise that when I speak about these things, he actually listens.
"But what's it for?" He says while scanning his eyes around all the couples decorating theres while resting their heads on each other's shoulders or laughing to themselves. This atmosphere was one I wanted to never forget.
"This." Is all I say before standing up. I direct him to stand the opposite side of me for the time being and hold open the fabric. I duck down slightly to see the metal wires supporting it once it was open and the centre metal ring. I grab the lighter and hold it against the ring until it had lit up inside.
I stand up to see the most prettiest expression on Harrys face. All of his facial features had relaxed while his lips were slightly parted. It took him a few seconds to comprehend what was going on, but he realised soon enough.
"Lanterns." He whispers, I think he just meant to whisper it to himself but it was loud enough for me to hear, and when I did my whole body coated in goosebumps. Seeing the pure happiness in his eyes only, let alone his smile or creases beside his eyes and eyebrows was enough to make me melt.
"Indeed so." I reply back bluntly, trying to hide the broadening smile on my face from his soft words.
"I know it said on the tickets under the lanterns, but I never thought we'd light them. I just thought it was some attached to strings."
"Is this okay though?"
"Okay? It's so much better than okay petal. I've never been more excited."
"Have you not lit lanterns before?" I ask raising an eyebrow, as beautiful as lanterns are, I've done them many times before. Harry seemed to act as if it was his first time.
His face drops a bit, as does his eyebrows.
"Are you okay, darling?" I ask in the worry I'd upset him slightly.
"Yeah I've done lanterns before, not since I was like ten years old though, maybe younger." He says while rubbing the back of his neck and keeping his eyes fixed on the illumines of the orange flame.
I would be lying if I said the answer didn't shock me, but hey. Not everyone does lanterns, I love doing them.
"Okay ready Harry?" I ask trying my best to contain my excitement. Nothing was of good use, I'm convinced the orange light just bounced off how reflective my red cheeks were from blushing.
"On the count of three." He says as his smile begins to broaden. I feel my heart flutter inside of my chest. The golden glint in his eye was only enhanced through the fluorescent light.
"One." Harry says.
"Two." I say at a slightly louder volume.
"Three." We both say at the same time before we push up the bottom of the fabric, allowing it to find its own momentum in the wind. Once it was swinging effortlessly in synch with the gentle breeze, Harry stands next to me and hangs his arm loosely over my shoulder.
Lanterns.
They're jusy otherworldly.
Watching everyone's lift up, all at different heights yet somehow catching up with each other.
I've always felt like lanterns are a way to decorate my most favourite memories. The sky represents my darkness in this case, and my happiness is buried within the yellow flame. I let my happy memories cost over my darkness, I let their reflective light cover it all until I'm filled with nothing but a radiated warmth.
But eventually it all dies out.
"It's so pretty Harry." I say with my head tucked into the gap in his shoulder.
"It all really is petal, for your eyes only."
-
Hey all!
How are we finding the longer chapters?
Turns out having no WiFi for two weeks has its upside, it gave me loads of spare time to write (when I felt like it or actually had the effort.)
I loved this chapter a lot. I've planned out roughly the next few chapters but please bare with, I know it didn't seem like a lot but it took a while writing these chapters.
I'm chipping away at my own soul. It hurts. But I'm loving every second of writing this.
Thank you for sticking around with me. It honestly means the world and more, I just wish you had a hint of an idea about how happy you all make me!
Thanks for reading my shit and voting/commenting.
I had no idea the world I created inside my head would be cared about my so many of you.
I feel very valued right now.
And you should too.
Love you my lil' sunflowers.