Sitting around the dining table silently eating, my father at the head, I said next to Marshall, my mother sitting next to Austin.
Not your usual celebration of an engagement by a family.
But then my mother refused to celebrate.
"Marshall, how long will you and Harley be in Nashville?" My father said suddenly after what felt like forever.
"I was told were here for a week, Harly and I have a few promotional interviews booked while we're here"
My father nods, and then looks to my mother who was clearly seething "Annalise, I expect you to have a dinner party planned with all our closes friends and family in their honour, I would like to formally celebrate their engagement before they leave"
I watched as my mother nodded in displeasure, picking up her wine glass and taking a gulp as my brother forced a serious look on his face.
My mother dictated to everyone around her.
Everyone but my father that was.
My father, though emotionally unavailable he was very intelligent, and knew what my mother was like.
My mother was terrified of my father leaving her, when I say he is intelligent, I mean to say he has an ion clad prenup, that my mother would simply walk away with nothing.
The power I would love to hold like that over her, but she signed my rights away to herself.
"Daddy, you don't have to throw a party for us"
"Now Harleen, if your daddy wants to throw a soiree, then that is what you'll get"
"Your mother is right, this is a cause for a celebration," My father said, reading for his bottle of wine to top up his glass and then turning to face Marshall "Please be sure to have your manager send me the invoices for the cost of the wedding Marshall"
Marshall looked bewildered and confused "Sir, with all due respect, I think I can afford any wedding that Harley desires"
My father chuckles "Son, in no way is that meant to be deemed offensive, I'm sure you can, it's just tradition in the south, the father of the bride pays for the wedding"
Marshall opens his mouth but then closes it again, rethinking what he was about to say, looking at me confused.
----
I watched discreetly across the hall at my father and Marshall as they sat in his office talking.
I couldn't make out what they were saying but the situation had me nervous, my father's reaction had been unexpected.
"Harleen, I'm glad I've finally been able to get you away from him"
I looked as my mother sat next to me, realisation finally settling in that I was alone with her, Austin nowhere to be seen.
The hot feeling of anxiety and dread rising in my chest.
I wasn't prepared.
I haven't been left alone with her for months.
"Momma, I'm so glad daddy wants to throw a party to celebrate"
"Silly girl, you're delusional, that so-called man of yours is going to leave you long before you get to that later, lord knows he most probably sleepin' with his assistant"
"Oh momma, you're very wrong, Marshall loves me very much, he can't wait to marry-"
"Nonsense, you need to break up with him before he breaks up with you, before your poor father spends a cent on your wedding"
"I'm not doing that" I said, forcefully pushing through my shaky voice, trying to hide my fear.
"He's going to see you standing there and feel disgusted, I'm not sure what he been feeding you but you're going to have to have an open-backed gown" My mother said with a sigh "At least we won't have to splash put on a designer dress, you're far too fat for them"
My throat went dry as I shoved my emotions back down, ignoring the prickling behind my eyes.
I suddenly regretted the food I had been eating lately.
She's right and you know it, think you ignored that extra point you gained? No designer is going to want you in their clothes now? And Marshall? Need I remind you that he's only sleeping with you because he has no other choice.
"Momma, I hope you're not trying to talk my Harley out of my new future brother in law" Austin's deep voice came, walking into the parlour "You leave those love bird's alone now, or ill tell daddy you're meddling"
"I would never!" My mother said with a gasp, hand places on her chest "I just want best for your sister"
"Marshall is best for her trust me, he has her as far away from you on her business" He said sitting down, boots up on the coffee table.
"Excuse me" I said quietly as they begin to bicker about Marshall and I, getting up and walking to the bathroom, but stopping on the other side of the door to my father office.
"I can't let you pay" I hear Marshall's voice say, calm and relaxed "I'm sorry but I pride myself in paying my own way, I want to make sure I'm giving her the wedding of her dreams out of my own pocket"
"Fine" My fathers sigh of defeat echoes through my head "But I will be buying you both a gift"
"Thank you, sir"
"Please, call me Malcolm Marshall"
"Okay" I hear Marshall say, hearing his smile through his voice "Thank you for respecting my wishes Malcolm"
"I respect a man with the values you hold Marshall, my wife may have a problem with you, but I don't, I see a man my daughter deserves"
"Your daughter deserves more than just me, she's special, she deserves the world and so much more, and I plan on giving it to her"
My heart thumped in my chest after hearing his statement.
I knew it wasn't real but I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like if someone did hold me in that high of regard, to love me on that level
The feeling of butterflies and warmth filled my stomach and I proceeded on to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against it collecting myself.
A fantasy Harleen.
Your fame is a curse that makes it impossible for people to genuinely feel like that for you, the real you.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
Even if someone was to see the real you, they wouldn't be impressed, I lacked in personality like I lacked self-control.
I was disgusting.
My mother was absolutely right, I have let myself go, getting too comfortable in what was a fake relationship with a man that had sex with me out of boredom.
I run my fingers over the seam of my black dress that sat snugly against my body.
Marshall had mentioned how well it hugged my body, accentuating my behind.
Maybe he was hinting at me.
He was politely telling you that you were a heifer.
I lean myself over the toilet, slipping my fingers down my throat, letting the sins of the decadent food that was served to me at tonight's dinner be emptied into the bowl in front of me.
The damar feeling of relief and calm spreads through my body.
Standing back and turning back to the basin wiping my mouth and rinsing it out, feeling slightly light-headed as I grip the sink.
There is a knock on the door and I freeze, panicked as I look at myself in the mirror, making sure I look presentable.
"Harley Quinn, you in there?"