I wanted to share the song that actually inspired this whole book! Music is and has always been my biggest inspiration ♥️
•I Fell in Love with the Devil by Avril Lavigne
(TW: Talk of Sexual Abuse. This chapter has a sensitive topic that I'm sure hits close to home for some. It is something I completely understand and my DMs are always open for anyone who needs someone to talk to ♥️)
*One week later*
I shot up from my bed in a sweat due to the painful nightmare I just had. Well It was more like dark memories of my time on Tatooine, rather than a nightmare. Slavery is a difficult life for anyone, but no one talks about how much worse it is for women. Especially when we're just seen as objects for sexual gratification.
Tears swelled in my eyes as I thought about the horrible acts that I suffered through. I clenched my fists in anger, I fucking hate Watto, he had my innocence taken away from me, all for money.
I'm glad he's dead.
Objects in my room began to shake and I closed my eyes to try to control my breathing, just as Vader had taught me when my emotions felt like they were too much to handle. It wasn't working very well though, the tears fell down my cheeks and I brought my hands up to wipe them away as I continued to cry at the memories.
My door opened unannounced; startling me and the clock from my nightstand flew forward, landing roughly to the floor by a pair of feet. I looked up to see my Master eyeing me with his mask on, I've been here for almost a week now and I still have yet to see his whole face, "What's wrong?" He asked in a monotone as he walked inside, picking up the clock on his way, "I could feel your pain all the way from my room." He stood next to my bed and looked down at me while he set it back in its place.
I shook my head; looking away from him to hide my tear stained cheeks. I didn't want to be seen as weak, he's always teaching me to be strong, "It was just a nightmare."
"About?" He questioned curiously.
I peered back up into his amber eyes, "Confidential." I gave him the same response he always gave me whenever he refused to tell me something as I wiped under my eyes.
He chuckled as he sat down next to me, "I was only asking to see if you would tell me, but I think I already know what's troubling you."
My eyes widened, how could he possibly know? Unless he's been in my head, which is something I learned we could do. But he swore to me that he would allow my mind to be a safe space, "How? Did you look?"
He shook his head, "No, I took my time when I was killing Watto, I went into his mind because I was curious about you. So I know everything there is to know." He informed me and I dropped my head down in shame and embarrassment. He must have seen things too, not just know. "Hey," He grabbed my chin and lifted it up so I could look at him, for the first time since I met him, I saw sincerity in eyes, "No one will ever touch you again. I'll kill them if they do." This is explains why anytime anyone so much as bumps into me, he rages on them. Everyone in this place is afraid to even breath the same air as me. I looked down at his hand that was currently touching my chin, he chuckled when he saw my eye movement, "You gave me permission the day you accepted my hand." He pinched my cheek; causing me to smile as he stood up.
He was right and I never minded it either, I knew he wouldn't do anything to me. Despite his killing tendencies, he doesn't scare me, he makes me feel safer than I have ever felt. When I look at him, I see my savior, "Thank you."
He nodded; before turning around to leave, "Do your best to get some sleep, we're starting lightsaber training tomorrow." He waved his hand for my door to open.
"Wait," I stopped him and he paused; turning his head to look at me, "Why did you take me instead of killing me?" He told me that he's still on the hunt for Force users, to wipe them out. And ever since he told me that, I always wondered what made me different.
"I was going to at first," He answered honestly, "But you reminded me of someone."
I tilted my head with curiosity, "Who? And please don't say confidential." I sighed with an eye roll.
He chuckled through his nose, "If I answer, promise me you won't ask anymore questions for the night." I nodded showing him I agree, "You reminded me of myself." He answered and left the room; leaving me with yet another question.
~*~•~*~
"You'll be using this one." He tossed a heavy metal object to me and I caught it; almost dripping it due to my butter fingers, "I took it from another, he won't be needing it obviously, so it's yours now." I held the unfamiliar hilt in my hand as I eyed the shiny metal. He stepped in front of me as he grabbed ahold of it and pressed two buttons, causing a red blade to shoot out from both ends.
"Wow," I gazed upon it with awe as I took it from his grasp, "I love it, but I'm a little scared, what if I cut off my own leg or something?" I looked from the blade into his amused eyes, "I don't exactly have the best coordination."
He chuckled, "I'll make sure you don't." He reached forward and pressed a button which retracted one end, so now only one side remained lit, "But now you made me nervous, so we'll just start with one side."
I nodded giving him a thumbs up, "That's a good idea."
He chuckled once more as he showed me how to properly hold it. He stood behind me and placed his hand over mine while his other hand was near my hip. I was trying to hide the nervous feeling I was getting from his chest being pressed up against my back. He would also get close to my ear as he spoke and it sent a shiver throughout my body. I was getting the feeling that he was doing it all on purpose too.
Once that was done, we did a few practice swings, turns, and twirls. I was starting to get it down, except for the one little accident where I scraped the back of my boot. He shook his head with a sigh, but he looked amused more than disappointed.
After about an hour of practicing, he backed away and pulled out a blade of his own, it was a beautiful red; just like the one he gave me, "Let's start a spar, don't be afraid to go at me with full force. Trust me, you won't hurt me." He shrugged with cocky confidence and I took that as a challenge.
I stood in the stance he taught me a few feet in front of him. He stood there without a stance, looking relaxed. I advanced towards him, but he moved out of the way quickly so I accidentally passed him and he kicked the back of leg; knocking me down. I fell to the floor where the lightsaber fell out of my hand and the blade retracted. I could hear him laughing at me and I rolled my eyes, cocky asshole. I sighed and pushed myself to my feet; calling the lightsaber back to my hand. I turned around and faced him again, "Cheap shot."
He shook his head; still laughing slightly, "Be prepared for anything (y/n)." He twirled his lightsaber in his hand expertly, what a show off, "Try again." He spoke as he stopped its movement and pointed it towards me.
Instead of going fully into it, I decided to take my time. I paced around him slowly; he was eyeing my movement with intrigue, "So that shop owner, did you kill him?" I asked, trying to distract him so I could surprise attack. He did say to be prepared for anything; let's see if he can live up to his own advice.
He nodded; spinning slowly to keep his eyes on me at all times, "He saw your face."
"So did those clones last week." I informed him of the ones he used to help me practice my force push.
He shrugged, "They're dead too-" I cut him off when I attacked and he caught my blade just before it reached him, "Interesting, you almost had me. But you're still not quick enough." He pushed against mine with his strength, causing me to take a few steps back as he walked forward. He slashed to the side causing the weapon to fall out of my hand. Then he pushed me against the wall and held his up to my neck, "Still, not bad for your first day." He praised me as he retracted his blade and placed it on his belt.
I smiled up at him; even though I was annoyed by my defeat, but in time, I'll be able to beat him at least once, "Thanks."
He nodded as his eyes trailed down to my slightly exposed chest before looking back up to my eyes, "You did very well," He placed a hand on my cheek as he always does, "I have an uncomfortable question to ask you involving Tatooine and I would like your permission to ask it." I nodded with curiosity, "Other than what that slug made you do, have you ever.. on your own accord."
I knew what he meant immediately, "No." I answered him honestly. It's not like I hadn't had the opportunity to, there were some slave boys that caught my interest. But I just.. couldn't, I was too afraid. It's not like I wouldn't ever want to, but I definitely needed time to be comfortable with whoever it's with and myself.
"I should have killed him slower." He sighed as he shook his head, "I'm sorry that you were robbed," He rubbed my cheek with his thumb softly, "I promise it's not all bad, especially when you're with someone who knows how to properly care for you the way you deserve to be cared for," He bent down lower to meet my eye level, "Try not to let your experience sway you from enjoying such pleasures."
I swallowed nervously, "Says the guy who murders his conquests."
His eyes squinted slightly which I knew meant he was smirking, "I don't really kill them, I said that to tease you. That Zeltron bitch got comfortable and pulled my mask off." He shrugged as he dropped his hand down.
"Would you kill me if I took it off?" I asked curiously as I looked into his eyes for an answer.
He eyed me with a look I didn't recognize, "Possibly."
I stepped closer to him and reached my hand behind his ear, "Really? Because you said you'd never hurt me."
"I could change my mind."
"But you won't." I responded confidently as I grabbed the small fabric the held the mask behind his ear.
To my surprise, he wasn't stopping me, I was giving him the opportunity to, but he just watched my face with fascination. But before I could pull it off, the door opened and he grabbed the back of my head and held me to his chest to hide my face, "What?" He questioned whoever it was harshly.
"I'm sorry to disturb you sir, but there's been a rebel attack on the Death Star." On the what?
He growled in annoyance, "What's the damage?"
"We don't think there is any, they snuck on board, but they were caught. They're in holding, waiting for you." The unknown man informed him.
He sighed, "Get me a ship ready," I heard the man quickly leave the room, Vader loosened his grip on me so I could look back up to him, "I'll be back by tomorrow, you'll be staying here. Don't cause any trouble." He held a finger to my face.
"Why can't I go with you?" I questioned, I didn't want to be here without him.
He sighed again as he shook his head, "Because," He raised his hand and my mask flew into his hand where he placed it over my face for me, "You're not ready to be out there just yet."
~*~•~*~
3 hours later
After dinner I walked to the one place that I considered to be my favorite here, it was a decent sized indoor garden. I sighed as I sat on the floor and leaned my head back against the glass wall. I pulled my lightsaber off of the belt I had over the my jumpsuit and eyed it as I lit both ends to admire the red glow. I absolutely loved it.
This past week has been one of the best of my life. My abilities have grown, my knowledge of the force has grown, I finally feel like I'm getting a grip on who I am, and I sleep soundly without worrying if the next day is gonna be worse than the last.
Also, having the strongest force user to ever exist as your mentor definitely has its perks. The things he has shown me have been incredi- I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of an alarm filling the the building, "What the," I whispered to myself as I stood up from the floor and peaked my head out of the door and into the hallway. There were men and women rushing down the halls, "What's happening?" I asked as I stepped out into the hallway in front of a man.
His eyes widened when he saw me, "Ma'am you need to get to your room where it's safe, we're under attac-"
He was cut off by the sound of an explosion that shook the walls.
(a/n Let me know your thoughts 💕)