Yibo does not respond, but at his silence, all is confirmed.
She gasps. "Yibo."
When he still doesn't spare her any reactions whatsoever, she leans back into the sofa, stunned and exasperated. "No wonder. Now it all makes sense. This started recently didn't it?"
The studio turns even more frigid at his glare.
"You're not going to answer me?" her tone rises.
Yibo's hand clenches into a fist, the reigns of his temper slipping. "Why should I? You haven't answered any of my questions directly either."
She huffs, completely flabbergasted. "Wow. Wow. You're truly on the verge of disaster."
He looks away in annoyance so she takes the moment to inhale and exhale, deeply.
"Yibo," she calls again, her tone now softer. "I've been in charge of your welfare for a long time, and I've treated you like my own, so I hope that you will pay attention to everything that I'm about to say to you. Relationships are fickle, even more than friendships. Most of the time it leads nowhere but in the moment, it will always manage to convince you otherwise. It will bring your guards down and make you careless. You cannot afford this." She sighs, her gaze filled with pity. "It makes sense now why you're suddenly so devastated and affected. You even dismissed Jiaping, and she's been working with you for the last four years. Even longer than you've known Xiao Zhan!"
At this, Yibo's gaze returns to hers, now ablaze with anger.
She however straightens, unintimidated. "Yibo, you cannot have a romantic relationship with Xiao Zhan, because besides the obvious dangers, the world will always regard you both as each other's competition."
"So?" he seethes, and she is slightly taken aback.
"This means that one of you will always be placed above the other. Do you think that your egos can survive that? You'll end up breaking up, and that's if you aren't even exposed before then. Don't you see that either way you slice it, nothing can come of this? It can only end up destroying you both!"
Yibo's response is laced with steel. "I don't have to be above him. It's alright if he's in the lead."
At this, she is stunned speechless, her eyes agape. "Yibo, you've forgotten who you are. When have you ever wanted to be below anyone? In anything? Has this relationship made you completely irrational?"
Yibo rises to his feet, however she doesn't stop.
"You've forgotten what it feels like to be number two haven't you? To be second best. That was what you were until he disappeared from the limelight."
"Disappeared?" Yibo spins back to face her, the rein on his control slipping. "Weren't you the one that chased him away?"
"For your own good!" she yells, and Yibo's eyes nearly pops out of their sockets.
"For my own good?"
"Of course!"
His chest begins to heave, and he is seething so much that although his lips part to speak, no words come out. So he picks up his phone and starts to walk away.
She lets him, equally as irate, but just before he reaches the door she calls out to him again.
"Yibo."
He doesn't respond.
Instead he wrenches the door open, and storms out. Frustrated, she jumps to her feet and goes after him, her heels clicking hastily against the floor.
"Yibo!" she yells but he refuses to stop until she catches his arm and yanks him. He turns to face her, and watches as she tries to catch her breath.
The hallway that they are now in is brightly lit, thus she can truly see for the first time the utter devastation on his face. Her eyes widen in horror as she takes in the darkened circles around his swolllen eyes.
"You have a performance in three days! And two shoots tomorrow!"
"I'm not going for either of them," he says, and she stills.
Then a bitter smile curves her lips. "You're not going for either of them?" she repeats as though she didn't quite hear him correctly. When the defiance in his gaze strengthens, her face turns to stone.
"Is this where things are coming to now? You're quitting? You're going to throw everything away?"
Silence.
"Yibo, your name is what's on the line. You're going to pull out of a nationwide performance two days before hand, and not show up to shoots worth millions just because of Xiao Zhan? Do you see what I mean now? Do you see that you're about to destroy yourself?"
Yibo's gaze narrows murderously at her. "I don't think you understand what's happening here. I just found out that you've maliciously attacked a fellow artist for months, to bring about his ruin so that I could get ahead. Forget about how this could destroy Yuehua, let's talk about how this could be charged as a criminal offense and possibly land you in prison. And yet you're still talking about a performance and a photo shoot?"
At his words, she slightly staggers backwards, but is able to quickly stabilize herself. "Yibo, you're taking things too far."
And at this, she sees something snap in his gaze.
"I'm taking things too far? Do you not understand the gravity of what you've done? Of the damage that you have caused him this year? And how you've put me right in the middle of it? What if he hadn't survived? What if he had lost his mind or even taken his life at the despair? Would you stilll be able to live with yourself? Would either of us still be able to continue on as though nothing happened? How could you put me in such a position?"
"Yibo..." her voice trembles. ""It's not... it's not as detrimental as you think?"
His eyes nearly pop out of his sockets in shock. "What? It's not as detrimental as I think?"
Her tone softens even further as tears fill his eyes.
"Yibo, people fall all the time in this industry. From the smallest of mistakes to the biggest, and sometimes to seemingly no mistakes at all."
He is too stunned to respond, so she reaches out to touch him. However he jerks his arm out of her reach and steps away from her.
"You can say this because he's not your son right? And because he's not an artist under your company?"
"Yibo!" she yells at him, her tone heavy with frustration. "You're not thinking straight. You're too emotionally attached to him. Don't you see that if you continue like this you're going to ruin yourself and everything that we have both worked for? If you keep being irrational and make a mistake, and any of these comes to light, do you think that you're going to escape unscathed?"
"You will be destroyed too! Beyond resurrection. And moreover you reaped all the benefits. Have you not enjoyed being at the top? And for this long? Do you know how difficult it is to come by, and how even more difficult it is to maintain? And do you think it's going to last forever? Soon enough another group of artists are going to break out, and you will be long forgotten about. Are you taking the opportunities that you are receiving now for granted because it all seems to be coming easy to you? Do you know how hard everyone has worked behind the scenes to get you to where you are?"
Yibo smiles. "You sound like you only did this because you care about me, and not what my success could do for you. Isn't your impatience to milk as much as possible out of all of this because my contract with you is ending soon? And since you're unsure of the direction that I will go afterwards, you want to gain all that you can before that reality arrives?"
At his words, a grave loathing comes over her face. "And so what?" she snarls. "Have I not invested in you enough to do whatever I can to reap as much of the benefits as is possible? You think you became who you are today solely by your own efforts?"
"That is the fuckingproblem!" he roars. "I started this journey and gave up everything... my entire childhood, and my friends, and my family, all because I loveddoing this, and I wanted to put all of my effort into seeing where it could take me. Not because I wanted to be at the top. I just wanted to be happy, to do what I enjoyed for as long as possible, and I was willing to give everything I had to attain that. If my effort wasn't good enough, then I deserved to lose. That I could live with, because I at least tried. But with what you've done, you've tainted something that I only began and saw through out of love. How do you want me to see myself after this? How do you want me to enjoy the things that I do after this?"
"Yibo, we aren't totally responsible for the attacks against Xiao Zhan. Even we are not so powerful as to manipulate fate in that way. We saw a wave and rode it, and it is not our fault that it was originally created to drown him. That is just his misfortune, and if you weren't involved in this nonsensical relationship with him, you would have-"
Yibo's hand suddenly swings into the air, but just before it can land on the side of her face a sharp scream pierces through the hallway.
"Yibo!" his manager cries, and it's enough to make him freeze. However at this point, he is trembling so much that he can barely catch his breath. Tears are streaming down his face as he glares murderously at her, the struggle within to calm his rage and pain etched into the twisted grimace on his face.
Jiaping hurries over, and throws her arms around her boss to pull her away from him.
At first, her boss is still in shock of what had almost happened, but she soon regains her coherence.
"You wanted to hit me?" she breathes.
Yibo's gaze is still ablaze with rage, but soon he is able to shut his eyes and lower his hand.
"Wang Yibo!" she yells out his name.
He inhales deeply, and then exhales. And then he reopens his eyes.
"Du Hua," he calls, and both women are even more taken aback because this is the first time that he has ever addressed their boss by her name. Throughout the twelve years that he had known her, it had always been 'Du mama', in reverence and admiration, but now, and as they both stand off against each other, it is apparent that yet another relationship in his life has been irreparably shattered.
All in the same day.
"You might have just ruined my life, and the way that I feel about everything that I have have shed my blood to attain up till today."
She shoots back at him. "You're the one that is about to ruin your own life and everything that you have fought for! Have you forgotten what you told me? When you went back to Luoyang and then returned? You wanted to quit before you left but then you came back with a renewed resolve! You told me that it was too late to turn back, and so you stayed, and fought,and won. But now you want to throw it all away because of Xioa Zhan? You think you're the only one that has been in love before? You better wake up! You think that Xiao Zhan is going to give anything up because of you? You think he's going to ever put himself on the line for you? Love leads nowhere! It will confuse you and make you stupid, and then one day, you'll wake up and realize that you have thrown everything away for nothing. Keep going this way and see where you end up. Where you both end up!"
At this, he calmly pulls his phone out of his pocket, and then taps on the screen. He holds it up for her to see, and the faces of both women fall.
"Wang Yibo!" his manager gasps.
However Du Hua pushes out of her hold, and straightens her back. A sick and bitter expression comes to her face. "Wow, you've really grown up. So you recorded everything?"
She laughs. "Alright. So what's the next step? You're going to release it? Or are you planning to threaten me with it?"
He slips the phone back into his pocket, and wipes the tears off his face.
"I'm not going to do anything with it, after all it exposes all of us doesn't it?"
Her eyes glower at him, her chest heaving.
"But I will say this; from now on, back away from Xiao Zhan. If even one unnatural attack arises against him again, I will use this, and drag you, myself, and the whole of Yuehua to hell. Perhaps only then will you know what it truly means for me to lose it."
With this, Wang Yibo turns around and strolls away.
He gets into the elevator at the end of the hallway, and just as the doors slide shut before him, his phone begins to ring.
At first he ignores it, completely uninterested in pulling it out of his pocket. But then his scowl soon deepens at the irritating disturbance of th silence fo the space, so he pulls the device out of his pocket and checks the ID.
He is frozen in place as he stares down at it, but before it disconnects, he answers the call and very slowly, lifts it to his ear.
"Hello?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"You'll never admit it. You'll never admit all the ways I keep hurting you whether intentionally or not, and it terrifies me because what if someday you break? And it'll all be because of me. Because you fucking love me."
Xiao Zhan shuts his eyes as he recalls this set of Yibo's words to him. They had been together in the van, more vulnerable and exposed to each other in that moment than either of them had ever been to anyone else in their lives.
He also recalls his response to Yibo.
"Alright, from now on, I'll tell you whenever you hurt me, whether intentional or not. I promise."
Therefore, and currently, he feels no hesitation in his heart of what he is doing by calling him, and of the potential and further damage that this might cause. He takes a deep breath before he begins, his emotions as frigid as ice. He is not even certain of what he has called Yibo to say, but as he is reminded of the pain that is waiting just beneath this shield of anger that has suddenly come over him, and at how it is quite possibly going to shatter him into pieces, his resolve is strengthened.
"Yibo," he says, but there is no response from the other end of the line.
There is no doubt that Yibo is shocked that he is the one speaking, but Xiao Zhan doesn't care.
"Yibo, I told you today that you cannot break up with me. That's it's not an option. Did you think I was joking?"
Once again there is no response, so he continues.
"You understand me don't you? At least you've claimed to, so you must at least know the level of conviction that it took for me to finally accept you. To finally give in to you. You know that I didn't take this lightly, and that from the moment I decided to be with you, I also made up my mind to go as far as possible, even if the entire world turned their backs against us because of it."
You were the one who drove me to this state. You were the one that convinced me that you were ready to dive all in with me no matter what. So right now, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
A long silence stretches out between them, but eventually he hears Yibo's broken whisper float over to him.
"Zhan ge..."
"Yibo, I will kill you. I will fucking kill you if you truly do break my heart."
His body begins to tremble violently so he is forced to stop, aware that he can no longer speak.
He feels a pool of tears begin to gather in his eyes, so he shuts them and inhales deeply. He exhales, and then parts his lips to continue.
"You knew how fragile I was... how fragile I still am. How hurt, but yet you stormed in and demanded my heart. I gave it to you, and now you're telling me that you don't feel qualified to keep it?
"Are you out of your fucking mind? Is this a joke to you?"
"Zhan ge," he hears him croak out again, but Xiao Zhan is too far gone for it to register.
"Apologize," he says."Apologize right now, and take back all the nonsense that you said today. Do you know what you're about to do to me? You're about to break me beyond repair. What did I - what did I do to deserve this? If you weren't ready to go all the way with me, then why did you put me in this state? Why did you make me fall in love you? How can do that and then walk away?"
Tears stream down his face, but he doesn't even realize it until he feels the scorching streaks on his skin.
"Yibo," he calls again."Apologize right now."
He hears it then, the violent trembling of Yibo's breathing. And he listens.
"I'm ..." Yibo begins, his voice barely above a pained whisper."I'm very sorry."
Xiao Zhan hears the choking sounds escape from Yibo's throat as he tries to hold back his tears, but he is unable to. Eventually, his grief breaks through and Xiao Zhan is frozen solid, as Yibo bursts into tears.
He listens to him, afraid to breathe, and afraid to even move until the strength begins to drain out of his legs.
He feels himself falling, and is able to grab on to the railing just in time. He lands on the floor, the phone still pressed to his ear, and can do nothing but listen as Yibo bawls, his heart in pieces.
He cries in a way that Xiao Zhan has never heard anyone cry, and it brings Xiao Zhan to the verge of losing his mind.
"I'm sorry," Yibo apologizes, the words sputtering out in wretched gasps. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Zhan ge, I am so sorry."
Xiao Zhan is stunned speechless.
Time seems to have stopped moving, as he listens to Yibo cry his heart out, the shield of ice that had come over him now cracking open to let in a ray of warmth. It is not nearly adequate, but enough to knock him over the head, and to remind him of who he is and who Yibo is, and what is truly best for the both of them.
Yibo remains in the throes of his heart wrenching sobs for quite a while, and Xiao Zhan would have given anything to be there with him in this moment. To hold him in his arms, and allow him the freedom to safely fall apart.
It brings to mind their time in the van, and at Yibo's heart break, and he is able then to fully accept and be willing to give Yibo what he truly needs.
"Yibo," he calls, but Yibo is still unable to hear him, so Xiao Zhan listens and waits, until he is able to regain his calm.
Eventually, all he can hear from the other end of the line is Yibo's sniffing and struggle to breathe, so he says softly.
"Yibo, breathe through your mouth."
He knows now that Yibo's nose is probably completely clogged, because although his own tears are quiet, he is in the same state.
Afterwards, things come to a complete silence between them, and he finally speaks.
"Yibo, I love you... and I know you love me. Admittedly some mistakes have been made, but I've never expected you to be perfect. You might truly believe that the things that you've done are unforgivable, but I want to tell you that they're not. To someone else they might be, but not to me. Because I truly love you. In the future you will make even more mistakes, but I want to tell you now that I will forgive you again and again because beyond all else, the one thing I truly believe is that you will never do anything to intentionally hurt me. Regardless, I will probabaly be mad at you, but never take this to mean that I'm rejecting you. Take this as the permission to also be furious at me when I make my own mistakes. For instance with what my father did yesterday."
He pauses.
"Yibo, I don't want you to feel the way that you currently do. I don't want you to be in pain, but now I realize that you do need time to come to believe what I've just said to you. So I'm going to back away, and give you all the time that you need to heal. But... do you remember what I said to you a little while ago? When I snapped at you in the car?"
There is no response, so Xiao Zhan calls out his name.
"Yibo."
"Hn," he responds, his tone strangled, and barely audible.
"I meant it... with all my heart. So when you're ready, come back to me. Okay?"
Again there is no response.
"Yibo."
"Hn," he responds again, and Xiao Zhan smiles.
And then he sighs. "I'll wait... for as long as you need me to."
"Hn,"Yibo responds now of his own accord.
"Alright. Rest. Make sure you rest. You have a huge performance in a few days."
"Hn," he responds, and Xiao Zhan smiles again.
He wants to tell him that he loves him one more time, but he realizes now that he has to keep to his promise no matter what, and to give Yibo the time that he needs to accept or reject all of this.
"Alright,"he says."Be well.
Notes:
Longer chapters it is. I enjoy those the most.
The last chapter felt so incomplete to me.
Anyway, this next bit is writing related cos I know there are some writers here, so normal readers can skip this lol...This novel is written in third person limited pov, and as a rule, I usually only write from one lead's pov while using this, but I found out last week that you could still switch povs with this, like in third person omniscient, but you cannot hop from one character's head to another randomly. A switch can only be made by either scene or chapter, so this was why I finally wrote from Yibo's pov. However my rule of keeping a distance from one of the romantic pair still remains, so I couldn't go into his head and could only just observe his reactions. Anyway this was interesting and liberating for me to find out about last week. Been writing for ten years and didn't know this. smh. Don't be like me. Be well informed about your craft!😂-
❤️Moye