TW: TALKS ABOUT SELF HARM, SLAPPING, SLIGHT PHONE SEX
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07/03/2018
Tuesday
8:58am
You stirred awake in bed, by the sounds of your alarm ringing. "Turn it off." Spencer groaned.
Grabbing your phone, you turn off the alarm and you see the date. Today is the day. Today is your last day of therapy.
Hopefully.
It's been over four months since your attempt and you couldn't be anymore happier that you've gotten better.
"Spence, today might be my last therapy session." You say as you get up from the bed to start getting ready.
You rush into the bathroom to shower and you're surprised when you see Spencer in the bathroom with you. "What are you doing?" You curiously ask.
"I can't take a shower with you?" He says with a questionable look.
It's been months, since you've both done anything. The farthest you get is a hot make out, but nothing else. Maybe the occasional hand on your throat or hair pulling, but nothing.
Nada.
You're hoping that Dr. Suarez clears you and that you're ok now, which you are. You've been taking your meds, controlling your anxiety, talking more about your feelings, and most importantly no self harming.
You start to undress in front of him, hoping he gets the hint that it's ok for him to get in with you, which he does.
The both of you undress and he had turned on the water letting it warm up to your liking. You get into the shower first, Spencer following after you.
Letting the water fall down your body, you look at Spencer and you know that he's rethinking his decision on getting in the shower with you.
"Am I distracting you Dr. Reid?" You ask him as you grab his hand, pulling him underneath the water with you.
He stares you down and you can see it in eyes on how much he'd like to fuck you, but won't give in. Not responding to your question, you decided to grab your shampoo and start lathering it onto your hair and let the suds run down your body.
Spencer stares at your actions, his eyes travel from your face, your chest, your hips, your legs, and your ass.
You finish taking off the shampoo so you grab the conditioner and you see Spencer getting his shampoo and putting it onto his hair.
He closes his eyes as he lets the water run down his body, and you trail your eyes down and see that he's hard. Like really hard.
You turn yourself around, so your back is facing him. The water runs down the both of your bodies, and you bend down reaching for your loofah, and your ass brushes against his dick.
A smile appears on your face, but Spencer has a different reaction. His left hand grabs your waist and the right grabs onto your shoulder, turning you around to face him.
The smile on your face doesn't disappear when you see Spencer's face.
He drops both of his hands from your body and you pout since he's no longer touching you, but what he does next catches you by surprise.
His hand came down onto your cheek lightly and you let out a small whine, but when you turn your gaze back to him, a smile is on your face.
Spencer's face flashed with worry, but when he saw your expression, he continued. He wraps his left hand around your throat, pushing you against the cold tile wall, his body flush against yours, before he leans down to your ear and says, "Little girl, lets just hope that your therapist clears you today because you've been nothing but a fucking brat this entire time, and a fucking tease."
You nod at his words, hypnotized just by looking into his eyes. He sees how quick you become putty in his hands and lets out chuckle and smirks, before his hand came down to your face again. This time you don't whine, you let out a moan.
"Of course you fucking like that." He says before slapping you again, earning another moan from you.
He lets go of your throat and you give him a smile before he pulls you in for a kiss. He pulls the back of your head, pulling your hair, and the both of you fight for dominance, but he wins as he pushes his tongue into your mouth.
Your knees go weak as he does that, the hold on your hair gets tighter. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for more, but he bites your lip, then pulls away.
"Why the fuck do you always do that?" You basically shout at him and he gets back underneath the water lathering conditioner onto his hair.
You get under the water and finish showering while not saying anything to Spencer. You know what he's doing and if he wants to play that way, then you'll fight back harder.
Once you finished, you immediately get out of the shower and walk into your bedroom. "Babe I'm sorry." You hear Spencer say as he walks into the bedroom.
You ignored him and walked into your closet to change. If he wants to tease you, then you can most likely do the same.
Putting on a pair of light pink lace panties and a matching lace bra, you looked through your closet and search for an outfit.
You grab a white skirt, a white button up, a light pink crew neck, and your doc martens. Quickly changing you look at yourself in the mirror ands see yourself and.. you looked good.
Walking out of the closet you see Spencer had already changed and he was in a pair of black slacks, a light gray button up, and a pair of black converse. His shirt had three buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and his dagger necklace but this one was silver.
Why did he have to look this good?
You walked over to your vanity and sat down to start your makeup.
"Y/N, I'm sorry." He apologized again as he sat down on the bed looking at you.
"About what?" You asked. "If it's about what happened in the shower, I'm not mad. Just a little annoyed, but not mad." You say.
"Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset."
You shake your head no and he seems to buy what you said. He got up and kissed your forehead and he walked into the living room.
Oh what I have planned for him if I get cleared today.
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"Come on lets go, I don't want to be late." You say as you enter the living room.
Spencer stands from the couch and he flashes you a smile and says, "You look great as always."
"Thank you babe. You don't look so bad yourself." You say and get on your tip toes to kiss his cheek.
The both of you walk out of your apartment and you're acting as if what he did in the shower didn't bother you, but deep down it did. He's always teasing you and getting you all hot and bothered, but never doing anything.
The times when he leaves to his apartment or to the store, is when you get to use your vibrator and at least get off to the thought of him fucking you again.
"What time is your appointment?" Spencer asks as he starts the car.
"It's at 12:45. Why?" You respond and pull out your phone to make sure.
"Do you wanna stop for coffee?" He asks as he pulls out of the parking garage.
"Please." You say and Spencer grabs your hand and interlaces his fingers with yours and brings it up to his lips, kissing the back of your hand.
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12:36pm
"Let's hope I get cleared." You say to Spencer before exiting the car.
He smirks and nods at your words.
Walking into the office, you sign in and wait till they call your name. While sitting there, you pull out your phone and start your teasing.
A few weeks ago Spencer had to go into the BAU to pick up some case files and while he was gone, you decided to take some pictures. These pictures were very explicit.
Y- What do you think of this daddy?
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Spencer's POV
Im sitting in the car waiting for Y/N, outside of her therapists office, when I get a text from her.
My eyes go wide once I see the message and the photo she sent.
The photo was of her fully nude in the mirror. She was on her knees on the bed and she had a fucking collar on. She was pulling on it from the front making her lean forward and the look on her face was one that I've seen before many of times.
I could feel my pants getting tighter and before I can send a response , another text and a photo come through.
Y- This one is my personal favorite. But I wish it were yours ;)
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She was fucking in for it.
A dildo.
She had a dildo in her mouth.
I can't even think of what to say to her right now. How can she be sending things like this while at her therapy session? When did she even take these? Why did she have a collar?
She better get cleared today.
S- What am I gonna do with you baby?
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Your POV
"Y/N Y/L/N" Dr. Suarez called out for you.
You stand up and grab your purse and you feel your phone buzz in your hand.
S- What am I gonna do with you baby?
You roll your eyes at his response because if he thinks he's gonna get to do what he wants to you, he doesn't know what's coming.
Entering the all to familiar room at the end of the hall, you sit down on the uncomfortable couch you've sat on for the past few months.
Dr. Suarez sits in her chair and you just want to know what she's going to tell you.
"How are you doing today Y/N?" She starts.
"I'm doing amazing." You say excitedly.
"So can you tell me about your anxiety these past few weeks?"
You cross your legs and flash her a smile. "Well my anxiety has been getting better with my medication. I've started meditating and less smoking. Spencer always helps me calm down and sits with me when I'm close to having a panic attack, but overall my anxiety hasn't really been a problem for about two months now." You admit to her.
"Ok. Have you done what I told you during your last session?" She asks.
Last session she had asked you to reach out to your parents and tell them how you felt growing up, but you've been avoiding that. You don't want to talk to your parents at all. No matter what they tell you, it won't change anything.
"I haven't done that. If I were to reach out to them, I know for a fact that whatever I tell them, they won't feel any different towards me. They will still see me as party girl Y/N, the reason their daughter is dead, and the mistake."
"Alright. Have you thought about or done self harm recently?"
"No. I haven't thought about it or done any self harm to myself. I downloaded this app on my phone called I Am Sober and I've been tracking how long it's been since my attempt." You tell her as you show her your phone.
"See. I'm almost four months clean."
"Y/N I'm really proud of you. You've shown lots of improvement with your mental health." She tells you as she writes in her notebook.
You smile at her words, "Thank you Dr. Suarez. I couldn't have done it without your help."
"I do want you to continue taking your meds, but only when you need too."
"Wait does this mean you're clearing me?" You ask her.
She flashes you a smile and says, "Yes Y/N I'm clearing you, but you do have to get your psych evaluation done today. I called ahead. Your appointment is at 2:30pm and I want you to know that you're a strong woman and you fought this with the help from your friends and Spencer."
Letting a few tears fall, you stand up and give Dr. Suarez a hug. "Thank you so much. Thank you for helping me throughout one of the most toughest moments of my life." You say through tears.
"You're welcome Y/N." She says as she pulls away.
You both sit back down and she continues writing for a moment, before speaking. "Well Y/N, you're all done here, but if something ever happens, just call me and I'll be happy to help."
You stand up and thank her another time. "Thank you again Dr. Suarez. I appreciate everything you've done for me to help me get better."
"Anytime Y/N, but I'm serious if anything ever happens, you know where to find me." She says as you both walk to the front of the office.
Once in the front you give her one more hug and walk out.
When you're outside, you look back at the office and you feel proud of yourself for getting through something like that. Never did you think that you would live to feel happy again. You thought that once you had done what you had done that night, that it would've been your happiness, but you got that all wrong.
This was your happiness.
You say to yourself as you get closer to Spencer's car.
Before getting into the car, you can see the look on Spencer face and you know something is about to happen once you tell him those words you've both been wanting to hear for these past few months.
Putting on a serious face, you open the car door and get into your seat, putting on your seat belt. You can feel Spencer's eyes on you the entire time, watching your every move.
"So are you going to tell me what she told you?" He broke the silence.
You looked up at him and you know that you're cleared, but you still have you psych eval in about half an hour.
"She cleared me." You say with a smile on your face.
"Oh my god Y/N. You did it baby. You fucking did it. I'm so proud of you." Spencer instantly pulls you in for a hug and kisses your forehead.
You let tears fall, as you hear how much he's proud of you. "I did it Spence." You say softly and placed a kiss to his neck. "I fucking did it babe."
He pulls away and he cups the side of your face, pulling you in for a kiss. The kiss is sweet and passionate, filled with emotion. The both of you are crying at this point. You could feel his tears and you're sure he could feel yours.
You pull away and lace your fingers with his and say, "I still have my psych eval though. It's at 2:30pm. Dr. Suarez called ahead so I can get it done today."
Spencer kisses the back of your hand and says, "Alright then, we need to hurry because I know the perfect way to celebrate."
So do I.
You nod and he turns on the car and starts driving to the hospital across the street.
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"Do you want me to go in with you?" Spencer asks you as he parks the car.
Usually psych evaluations take about 30-90 minutes, so you wouldn't want him waiting out in the car. "You can come with me." You say and he gets out the car and opens the door for you.
Walking into the hospital, you start to miss going to work and seeing your friends and some of the patients that you got to know.
"What floor do you have to go up to?" Spence asks as we near the elevators.
"The 8th floor. I'm not sure who I'm seeing, but they should tell me once I'm up there." You tell him.
You both get on the elevator and there are few other people. Patients, nurses, doctors, and other staff.
The elevator comes to a stop on the eighth floor and you and Spencer get off and walk towards the desk. "Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N and I have an appointment at 2:30pm for my psych eval." You tell the male nurse sitting at the front desk.
He starts to type on the computer and grabs a clipboard and hands it to you. "You'll need to sign the paperwork and once you're finished bring it back to me. I'll let the doctor know you're here. Have a seat."
You nod and walk towards the seating area and sit down, immediately signing the paperwork. Spencer sits next to you and watches you fill out your paperwork. "You really want to get cleared huh." He says in a teasing manner.
Yeah I really do, because once we leave and get back to my apartment, he's in for it.
Not saying anything, you hum in response.
You make sure to read all the information on the paperwork because sometimes you could be agreeing to something you don't even know about. You know that Spencer is reading the paperwork too, because before we got here he said, "Make sure to read all the paperwork. You never know what you're agreeing too."
Once you finished reading and signing everything, you skimmed through it all and got up and took it to the front desk.
"Here you go." You said while handing the clipboard to the same male nurse.
He scans through it and says, "We'll call you back in a few."
You nod and go back to sit with Spencer.
You start to bounce you leg and Spencer notices, so he places a hand on your thigh and gives it a small squeeze. "Thank you." You tell him and give him a smile.
Before he could say anything, your name was called.
"Y/N Y/L/N."
You look over at Spencer and he squeezed your thigh again and said, "Its ok. You got this."
"Right. I got this." You say before standing up and walking towards the door.
You smile at the nurse holding the door open for you and before going all the way in, you look back at Spencer and smile at him.
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4:39pm
"Y/N, with the medication you started taking with Dr. Suarez, it seems that it's been helping you out and doing you good." Dr. Stevens tells you.
"Yes it has. I've been taking it everyday since I started my sessions with her. My mental health has been amazing since, I haven't harmed myself since my attempt a few months ago, I'm talking more about my feelings, and I'm getting a lot better with— well everything." You admit.
"Yes I can tell you've gotten a lot better since the last time you were here. Dr. Richardson has been talking with Dr. Suarez about your improvements but nothing confidential just her perspective on your progress, but he told me that you'd be able to come back to work in September." Dr. Stevens explains to you.
"So, I'm cleared?" You ask and the smile on your face appears again.
"Yes Y/N you're cleared. Just two more months off and you'll be able to come back to work. The reason you will be coming back in September is because we all want to make sure you're in a good head space to come back. Do you understand?"
"I understand. Thank you so much Dr. Stevens." You say as you both stand and make your way back to the front again.
"Y/N, Dr. Wilson and Richardson also wanted me to tell you that they are both very proud of you." She tells you before you walk back into the waiting area.
"Thank you for telling me. Can you let them know I said thank you?" You tell her.
"Of course." She says and you walk out and go up to Spencer.
He's sitting down, flipping through a random magazine when you appear in his line of sight. "Hey lets get out of here."
He stands and you grab a hold of his hand and interlace his fingers through yours and walk towards the elevator. There are a few people in there and you can tell Spencer wishes that they weren't here.
After a few stops, the elevator comes to a full stop on the first floor and you basically pull on Spencer to get out of the hospital and to the car as fast as possible.
"What's the rush?" He teases.
You slow down your walking and say, "Nothing, just really want to get home. I had a really long day today and I'm tried.."
Bullshit.
He doesn't say anything just wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. "So did they clear you here too?"
A smile spreads on your face and you look up at him and say, "Yeah they did. I can come back to work in September."
The both of you near his car and he opens the door for you and you get in and while he walks around, you check the time and see that it's barely 5:12pm.
"Can we stop and get something to eat, I'm starving." You ask him as he starts the car.
"Yeah what do you want to eat?"
"Um Thai food." You say and he nods and starts to drive to the Thai place you both order from.
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Once you both get to your apartment, you both sit down at your kitchen table and eat. "I know I keep on telling you this, but I really am proud of you Y/N." Spencer says as he reaches to hold your hand.
"Thank you Spence. I know I keep saying this too, but thank you for all that you've done. You've helped me get better. You stayed with me this entire time and helped me with my anxiety, panic attacks, and everything in between. I know you were upset when you found out about the marijuana, but I'm gonna try my best to not smoke any more, unless if I need too. But thank you."
"You're welcome baby. Come on, finish up, I want to finish watching season 7 of Grey's Anatomy."
You let out a small laugh and finish eating in a comfortable silence.
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"I'll be right back, I'm gonna call Desiree and let her know that I've been cleared by my therapist and the hospital." You tell Spencer as you stand from the couch.
He nods and watches you walk away.
You walk into your bedroom and close the door. You weren't actually going to call Desiree because you had already texted her about being cleared and she was happy for you. You actually came into the room to freshen up because you were about to start your teasing.
Again.
You cleaned yourself up and you took off the pink crew neck you had on, and you were left in the white skirt and white button up. Before walking out of the room, you sprayed a bit of your perfume and unbuttoned the top three buttons of your shirt and checked your appearance in the mirror.
Hot as fuck.
You walked out of the room and slowly walked over to Spencer. Instead of sitting next to him, you stood behind him and wrapped your arms around him and started kissing the side of his face.
"You know I missed this." You say as your lips travel down to his neck.
"So did I." He says and he tries to turn his face to kiss you, but you quickly move away and walk in front of him.
You turn from him and bend down to grab the remote from the coffee table and you know that he has a clear view of your ass and your panties.
Turning back around you look at Spencer and see that he was in fact staring at your ass. You kept your eyes on him and he took in your entire appearance and you both didn't say anything, so you give him a smile and straddle his thigh.
The both of you stare into each other's eyes, not one of you saying anything and just before you said something, Spencer started bouncing his leg.
Your hands instantly went to his shoulders and his went down to your hips.
"I wanna see you try being the one in charge, I don't think you can do it." He leans forward and whispers in your ear.
You push him away from you and start to grind against his thigh and remove his hands from your hips and you lean forward whispering in his ear,
"You have no idea what I'm capable of doing daddy, but I guess you'll just have to find out."
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Author's Note <3
Ok but why do I want Y/N instead of Spencer. Lol, but anyways what did you think of this chapter? I have so much planned out for this fic already that I'm so excited for you all to read it. Thank you all for reading and commenting. Also thank you for 18k reads. Tik tok is really helping me get reads on here and I'm happy that a lot of you are enjoying this fic as much as I love writing it. Anyways I don't have much to say because I'm hella tired and haven't slept well these past few days, but that all I have to say and i'm sorry if there are mistakes, i'll be back to fix them. BYEEEE....
- Destiny 🤍