Chapter 52
By now, we were sitting on the floor with our backs against the couch. My tears didn't stop and my shame kept my eyes down. Reliving and voicing everything crushed my lungs – and I was hardly done! I could barely handle it as I continued.
"Once an investigation was done, it was deemed that the staircase was unsafe. Matt was furious. Furious. So, we... we sued him." Cupping my face, I let out a sob. "I didn't want to! I didn't want to, but to keep with my story, it made sense to sue. It was such a low-life and shitty thing to do and I finally started to feel guilty. I mean the poor guy would be in court, telling the truth of what really happened that night in his restaurant, while his wife and daughter were in tears behind him. It was just awful and it just got worse. I made it so much worse!"
Taking a minute, I let it out while enduring the massive stress-headache. Keep going, suck it up. Forcing my sob down, I crossed my arms and dug my fingers into them. "About... about half way through the lawsuit, Matt started to get suspicious of me. When we would be in court, August would relentless say I was a liar. Over and over. Every time, he ranted about how I drank, got injured because of it, and that I tried to cover it up by falling down the stairs. It did look suspicious, especially since the cameras were shut off ironically before the incident. As my lawyer, Matt defended me, but as my husband, he couldn't ignore the red flags. So one night, Matt confronted me on it."
I remember the guilt, the shame, and the weight of framing and suing an innocent man. I remember that there was no other option in mind though. I could not come clean because I could not lose Matt. My fear was more important than my guilt – and what I did that night after Matt got home from work proved it.
It was late, I just put the kids to bed, and the TV across from me could not hold my attention. Curled against the arm of the couch, I was mindlessly staring out over the city through the transparent wall of our condo – until the large curtain started to close. Broken from my daze, I glanced over to Matt.
He stepped into the living room, tossed aside the remote that closed the curtain, and scowled down to me. "You want to tell me what really fucking happened, Ruth? Because I'm starting to think you are full of shit."
I was completely caught off guard. "What?"
"Every time I face August Winston in court, he is relentlessly recounting that night with a passion you don't ever see from liars. He defies his lawyer, stands up, and says you are lying to hide that you were drinking. How ironic that his 'lie' makes sense considering you were an alcoholic. And the cameras? Which were shut off and erased the entire night's footage? I'm not an idiot. I know you and know you are impulsive and would hope you would never stoop to a level like this, but it really really makes me wonder."
Shifting to the edge of the couch, I felt complete panic. "I-I don't know what to say."
"Tell me the truth," he said, this time more desperately. "Because this doesn't add up. Why would the cameras go out? Your friends even said you were in his office."
Jesus, what do I say? What could I say? My story had holes in it. He mentioned it before, but now he couldn't ignore it – and I had no idea how to patch those holes! Tears clouded my vision. I'm fucked, I'm screwed, he called me out. Instinct told me to get him back on my side, so I did just that regardless of the price. I needed to be more convincing and get him to believe me. "I-I... I'm sorry, there is more to it and I was just... scared to tell you everything." Ugh, what would make sense? What could I add? "Listen, the thing is... I— There is a lot I don't want to tell you because... because August threatened me."
The tension in Matt's shoulders disappeared, guard dropping. "What?"
I winged my next words. "He... he took me into his office because he was trying to sleep with me. My friends were all drunk, so I guess he figured he could get away with taking advantage of me."
Speechless, he sank down next to me.
"He didn't get violent or anything – well, he was a little violent. He said that I needed to stick around after the restaurant closed and wait for him. Obviously I said no fucking way, but he said I would be sorry if I didn't. A-a-a-and-and then he kind of grabbed me and pressed me against the wall and threatened me by saying that I will comply no matter what."
"Are you serious? He actually took you in his office and said this? Touched you? Why did you not tell me?!"
"I-I was scared," I whispered, all while trying to calculate if that lined up with every other bullshit lie. "Anyway, I'm positive that's why he shut the cameras off. To hide what he wanted to do with me later. That's why I was almost thankful that I fell down the stairs. But before the ambulance took me away, he threatened me again and said that if I told anyone about earlier, he would come after me."
Like before, it was a lie created out of desperation. Like before, it was a lie that made things worse for August. But it was a lie that kept me and my husband together. After I told Matt those awful fake details, he absolutely buried the man in court.
Focusing back on the present, staring at the carpet, my wet cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Matt never questioned me again, but the price was August's family. Not even his wife believed him after I claimed he was violent, threatened me, and tried having sex with me." I said, feeling more tears fall. "Anyway. We sued him, forcing him to shut down and sell his restaurant. He went broke. And his wife divorced him, taking their daughter away from him."
I wished that wasn't how my story ended. Since it was, the gravity of my actions hit hard again. "It was so heartless. I mean who the fuck does that? I would watch his wife and his little girl fucking cry in court until one day they just stopped showing up and he was all alone. He was all alone and shamed for being a violent piece of shit, and even then, I didn't tell the truth. August even begged me, publicly, to stop this and I didn't! I torn his family apart and ruined him!"
Sobbing, I let my face fall back into my hand. August was nothing but a wonderful and giving person when I met him. But because it was inconvenient for me to tell the truth, I dragged him to rock bottom. And for what? To stay with Matt? Who ended up leaving me anyway?! It was embarrassing, dissolving into a crying hot mess. But at least I finally told him. Sucking it up, I pushed my hair back. Though I was scared to see his reaction... I finally glanced to Blake.
He was sitting back against the couch with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed. Despite his nonchalant position, his face was blank and lost in thought. Clearly, what I dropped was more than he expected. His expression stayed neutral when he met my eyes. "You did all that to keep your husband. But you didn't stop drinking to keep him."
Blinking my tears away, that pathetic fact made me scoff. "Right. Even after all that, I didn't stop drinking. So Matt left me anyway." Turns out, I couldn't lie my way out of a drunken car crash with my kids. "Tomorrow, I am going to attempt to give August a little peace; that's the least he deserves. We are going to make some kind of deal where if I tell his family, my family, even the authorities what really happened, he will stop coming after me."
After I unloaded everything like that, he just stared off in thought. No doubt he was having a rough time just letting it all sink in. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his thumb up and down. "I'm sorry," he eventually said. "You warned me over and over how bad it was and how scared you were to tell me. Even then, I didn't think it would be this bad."
A silence settled in the air between us for a long minute. Watching him process it all, his face gave nothing away, but I was mentally preparing for him to be done with me. I was ready for him to tell me off or gently let me down. I was ready for him to just get up and leave.
However, I wasn't prepared for him to take my hand... and exhale almost in relief. "This will take a while to absorb, but I stand by what I said. The past is the past. You are attempting to right your wrongs."
"You don't view me any different?"
"I have to think it ironically made you a better person. Made you grow and mature. Since it was unmistakably cruel, it forced you to contend with a guilty conscious for once. Made you realize the world isn't about you." Seeing the surprise on my face made his lips tilt. "I told you not to be afraid."
No way. The guy somehow still wanted me? Shifting my crossed legs towards him, holding his hand between my palms, I exhaled a deep relieving sigh. With it, a weight lifted that I didn't realize I was holding onto. "I was so scared to tell you, like... so scared."
"Well, I'm happy you did. Thinking back, it clears up some things too. His drive for revenge makes more sense."
"Yeah, he had every right to come after me. And I felt so terrible fighting back, but I felt like I didn't have a choice." That reminded me of another thing I didn't tell Blake. "Oh, there is one more thing I need to tell you."
"What's that?" he asked, staring at my hand he began tracing with his thumb.
"This is embarrassing. I actually... planted those drugs in August's house."
His gaze jerked up to mine. "You what?"
"Yeah, it was stupid. I swiped your spare key and planted the drugs for the inspection. I thought if I did that, you would not just evict him, but call the cops and he would be locked up for a while and unable to go after me. I was getting more and more scared of him and—"
"You stole my key?" He pulled his hand away from mine.
That fearful knot swelled in me again. "I felt like I had to. Really, I-I didn't want to do it, but him getting arrested would have kept him away from me. That's why when you didn't call the cops after you evicted him, a trip out of town was pretty justified."
Shocked and betrayed, he stared at me like I was a stranger. Like he could not believe my words. After a moment, he rose to his feet in a daze. "I can't believe you would do that to me."
Standing with him, my vision blurred with tears. "Blake, I am so sorry."
"Oh, you're sorry?!" he shouted, eyes widening in pain and ridged anger. "You're sorry? That's going to make it better?! Did it mean fucking nothing to you that I trusted you?!"
"I-I didn't mean to break your trust in me."
"Because it didn't even cross your mind! All you thought about was doing another stunt like a child to further your cause regardless of the consequences! It didn't matter that after all I did for you, after being there for you – over and over again – after bringing you into my life, you repay me by going behind my back!" Jaw tight, he jutted a finger towards me. "You know, I was fucking wrong about you. You haven't matured."
"I have matured. I don't deserve you, I know that, but I have changed a—"
"You're still impulsive, a liar, a selfish snob, and will still do whatever it takes to get your fucking way! You're right. You don't deserve me."
My heart started to crack – and a piece shattered at the sound of the door slamming behind him. He stormed out, leaving me in the unsettling silence. Crumbling down to the couch, I tucked my head down and let the tears resume. I knew it was probably going to go this way; I knew he would be done with me. Yet, it still felt like half of my insides just drowned and died.
Blake became my world... and having that world walk out with such finality made me sick. He was right. He was completely right and there was nothing I could do about it. The guy was willing to forgive me for my past mistakes... but the ones made in the present, the ones that led me to go behind his back, could not be forgiven.
***
August and I were going to end it where it all started: in a restaurant. Specifically, a laid-back diner that was mostly windows and cute teal overhanging lights. Our meeting was for 11:00am, but I was so anxious, I entered the diner by 10:30. Thank god there was only one other person here; I didn't want to get emotional but it might happen. Hell, my eyes were already worn out and red from the painful night before.
When August walked into the diner, holding a folder of papers, his eyes met mine. Watching him walk over and nonchalantly sit across from me (as if we weren't enemies)... my god, talk about strange. There would be no lying, no framing, no cutting breaks, no planting drugs. We would play nice. Honestly, it felt awkward.
"Ruth, hello," he said, adjusting and setting the file on the table. He straightened his gray tee-shirt he was wearing with his jeans.
Thanks to reliving the past last night, the sight of August reminded me again just how much he has changed. How much I've changed him. A darkness lived in his gaze; the lines in his face were deeper. However, today he seemed less menacing and wore a neutral expression. I guess finally trying to do right was already working it's magic on him.
Before I could reply, our waiter came over. August ordered a coffee and I ordered a raspberry tea. I couldn't help but scoff after the waiter left. "Maybe that was a mistake. For all I know, you might poison my tea when I'm not looking."
"Don't worry, I wouldn't be stupid enough to screw up this meeting. Based on your eyes, I would guess you were up most of the night thinking about."
I naturally wanted to remain guarded, snarky, even mean. August did a lot to terrorize me and it forced me to always be in a defensive mode with him. But I started it. Me. After last night, I had no desire to keep my walls up. "It was a hard night for many reasons. I came clean to Blake; figured he deserved to know the truth first. I told him everything and it was not pretty."
He looked blankly back to me, but based on his pause, he was surprised by my words. Once the waiter brought our drinks, August grabbed a packet of sugar. "He didn't handle it well?"
"No. Neither did I. It hurt telling him everything and saying it all out loud."
He tried hiding it, but his chest jumped from an internal little scoff.
"You don't believe it was painful for me to talk about, huh?"
Pouring the sugar into his coffee, he stirred it with a spoon. "It doesn't matter what I believe. I've spent a long time attempting to understand you, but to no avail."
"It's pretty simple. I'm just selfish." Closing my tired eyes for a moment, I sighed and sipped my tea. "So, what do I need to do?"
____________________________
__________________________________________________
______________________________________
There we go - I actually updated on time for once haha. A pretty damning chapter for sure for Ruth. Do you think there is any way to repair what she has done? Let me know what you think and thank you for continuing to read!