Time passed so slowly since that Sunday afternoon. Well, it was only Sunday night but still it felt like I had achieved the impossible in such a short amount of time.
I had done my laundry, (hanging out for the night, summer nights always felt like they are hotter than the day) homework and now I was lying on my floor, listening to Angus and Julia Stone. The slow beats and melodic voices calmed my mind and left me in a state of half meditation… just kind of without the thinking about nothing bit. Cos I was thinking about everything.
I was kind of surprised I had managed to do it all in a state of not really being there, something the boys or my parents didn’t notice. I guess they just thought I was in a bad mood or something.
I couldn’t even look at any of them knowing what I knew about what happened in the house only hours ago.
It made everything seem strange and foreign.
Someone burst into my room and I really couldn’t be bothered to give them the time of day.
I felt the carpet as the person, or maybe two started walking towards me. Of course I had a niggling feeling I knew who it was.
Sure enough two heads popped into my line of view, both with huge smirks on their faces.
‘So, how’d the date go?’ Ma asked, not able to contain her excitement.
I sighed in response and Ma did not look impressed. Jules’ smile faltered. Both of them then came to lie on the floor with me, Jules’ head on my stomach.
‘Was it crap or something?’ Ma asked.
Should I tell them? I felt like it was something pretty huge and I sure as had to tell someone and it definitely wasn’t going to be J.
‘Is the door closed?’ I asked and Ma got up to shut it.
As soon as she came back I spat it out, not willing to hold it in anymore.
‘We had sex.’
The silence they gave me was suffocating.
I dunno what I thought when I told them but it sure as hell wasn’t silence.
‘Are you guys gonna say something? Growl me? Call me a slut? A high five?’
Neither took the bait.
After what felt like forever Jules finally spoke up.
‘How do you feel?’
The question came right out of left field. I didn’t know what to say.
‘Uh, I feel, weird, and a little sad. Why aren’t you guys responding?’ I was getting a little ticked off now.
‘Because we don’t know how to respond babe!’ Ma said, as she started to sit up. I followed her suit and so did Jules.
I was taken aback by the tone she used.
‘This is a big deal you know.’ Jules told me.
I shook my head and mumbled, ‘I know that. You don’t think I know that?’
Jules replied sympathetically, ‘Of course we know that, we just don’t really know what to say to you.’
Ma cut in, ‘You’ve only been going out with the guy for two weeks!’
My anger was rising; I didn’t really expect Ma to be taking this angle with me.
‘And?! I like him enough, so.’
She scoffed at me.
‘What the hell Ma! What’s your problem?’
‘How did you measure your likeness towards Damien? How did you know now was the time? Huh?’
‘I dunno Ma, it just happened! It happened and now it’s done and there’s nothing you can do about it.’
‘I can’t believe you’re so stupid Ana, seriously. I really can’t believe this.’
I stood up, pissed off at Ma for being so rude to me.
‘I don’t need to listen to this shit.’ I told her and started to walk out.
Ma got up quickly and pulled my arm around, my body soon following.
‘You do need to listen to this shit Ana, because you’ve just done some pretty big shit and I’m your wake up call.’
‘I don’t need a wake up call.’ I told Ma defiantly, our bodies inching closer out of anger.
‘Well you’re gonna fucken get one Ana!’ I shoved her away, willing myself away from her before I slapped her in the face.
‘Don’t look away from me Ana, you need to hear this. You just had sex with someone you’ve only known for two weeks. You hardly know the guy! What if he tells everyone?’
‘He won’t! He’s not like that!’ I yelled at her.
‘How do you know what he’s like? You hardly know him at all!’
‘I had sex with him, I think I know him a helluva lot more than you do!’ I pushed her away, not yet realising how much her words were really hurting me. This really was a wake up call.
‘Can you guys calm down please?’ Jules asked, quietly catching our attention.
Both of us gave her the death glare.
‘One day Ana, You’re going to realise how much of a mistake this was, and I bet that it’s gonna come soon.’ Ma then walked out of the room and slammed the door shut.
It hurt.
I thought we were best friends. I thought she would be happy. I’m finally an adult. I thought she would give me a smile.
A rogue tear slid down my cheek and I felt a finger brushing it away. I was startled back to reality by Jules.
She smiled at me meekly, before giving me a hug.
I broke down then, unable to contain my sadness.
I was incredibly upset. I was scared, scared because everything Ma said could be true.
I have only known Damien for two weeks, and did I really know him?
I thought so before, but now was a different story. Ma had planted the seed of doubt in mine and Damien’s relationship.
A while later, after giving Jules a huge wet patch on her shoulder, I stopped sniffling and looked at Jules. She was so sweet staying behind to comfort me.
I was happy I had a friend like her. And deep in my heart, I knew it was the same with Ma, I think I just assumed how she would behave when I told her, and I was just shocked that maybe I didn’t know my best friends as well as I thought I did.
Jules stayed the night with me, both of us falling asleep watching Mulan.
I woke up in the morning feeling a little rejuvenated, thanking my lucky stars Jules stayed or I think this morning would be totally different.
I checked my phone for a message from Damien but there was nothing. A little strange considering he’s texted me goodnight ever since we started going out.
I got out of bed as quietly as I could, hoping I didn’t wake Jules up as I snuck out the room to get some brekkie.
J was in the kitchen with Ben as well, and I snatched Ben’s toastie away just before he got the first bite in.
‘Hey!’ He called out as I started eating it, a smirk on my lips.
‘My house, my rules. And one of those rules is anything you make; I get first bite.’ I stated as he started grumbling at my brother to make him another one.
I asked J to make me one after him but he just ignored me. I rolled my eyes and decided it would be best to just wait until he had finished with the toastie machine.
I sat next to Ben and gave him his half a toastie back, he grumbled a little thanks and I just smirked back.
Ben and I chatted a little while before Jules walked in the room, a yawn plastered on her face.
Ben and I just said morning and kept talking, but I noticed that J went to look at Jules whilst at the same time trying to get his toastie out.
Of course as he was too busy looking at Jules his hand slipped onto the hot element so his morning went a little something like this:
‘Mor-argh fuck!’
We all burst into fits of laughter while J just ran around before finally putting two and two together and put his hand under the cold tap.
Jules saw this as her chance and grabbed the two toasties for her and me to eat.
She flicked J a smile as she sat down, and I swear I saw his cheeks turn a little rosy pink. Man that girl had him wrapped around her little finger. Ben gave me a knowing nudge and I nodded my head in agreement.
J could only look on as we started munching our breakfast, he would never say anything mean to Jules.
Both of us finished our toasties quick smart and I had to get ready first and then go to Jules’ so she could get ready for school.
Jules found a spot and we started walking to our classes, totally ignoring our surroundings, which at the time, we really shouldn’t of. Because what was going around right then was not good news.
Especially for me.