Seulgi began to feel uncomfortable as she noticed his piercing gaze from the corner of her eye. She, along with her members and other groups in the company, was standing on the stage and looked over at the beautiful crowd, filled with multiple colors from their lightsticks. They were in Osaka for SMTOWN and had just gathered up on the stage for their encore stage.
However, as mentioned, she noticed him. She wanted to glance to the side just to see if he was actually looking at her or not. What if he was just looking right past her? Or at the other members beside her? But then again, what if he was actually looking at her?
It had been a few months since she confessed to him. She hadn't heard anything from him and she hadn't decided to reach out to him either. Mostly because they both had been busy, but she would be lying if she said she actually wanted to talk to him.
She didn't.
That didn't mean her feelings for him had subsided during these past months. However, she would only feel stupid if she tried to be with him or talk to him. She confessed to him and he didn't feel the same. Not only that, but he also didn't forgive her for her stupid actions either.
It would be both awkward and embarrassing for her if she acted like nothing had happened. As if she didn't ignore him for months only to argue with him and then tell him she had feelings for him? Besides, he was in a happy relationship with Chungha.
Speaking of Chungha. She had been keeping in contact with her a lot and they had even planned on doing a collaboration for SM Station along with GFriend's Eunbi and (G)I-dle's Soyeon. Chungha had become a great friend to Seulgi and vice versa. Additionally, Seulgi was grateful they never brought up Taeyong as a conversation topic whenever they hung out.
"Oh, screw it," she then thought at the thought of him.
Turning to the right, she quickly got caught off guard as he was looking at her direction. She was hoping that he wasn't looking at her and that it was just something behind her that had caught his eye, but no. His expression was unreadable and she immediately looked at the crowd behind him, trying to not seem suspicious.
Soon, the music started and her labelmates began to sing. Everyone spread around the stage and went to interact with the fans. Seungwan came to put her arm around her shoulders and Seulgi brought the mic to her lips and sang the chorus along with her.
"Let's go to the other side!" she heard Sooyoung shout while pointing at the stage in the center of the stadium.
With a smile, Seulgi waved at the audience as she and the girls walked down the stage and toward the next one. But that smile quickly faded as she spotted Taeyong there, on the other side, waving happily at his fans.
She felt herself gulp but she tried to keep her composure. The smile plastered back on her face and she continued to wave at every person she saw. As they neared the other stage, they also neared him. Though she didn't want to, she somehow couldn't control the chuckle from leaving her mouth. He was making airplane movements and spinning around playfully.
"Silly," she murmured.
They were only a few meters away from him but he didn't seem to notice them approaching as he kept on spinning like a little child - Something Taeyong would regret as soon as he felt his right hand touch something. He stood up straight and almost stumbled as he quickly turned to his side, seeing he had bumped his mic onto Seulgi's arm. His eyes widened for a split second before he instantly bowed to her, to them, staring at the floor while waiting for them to pass by him.
"It's okay."
Wait.
Did he just hear her voice or was he imagining things? He stood back up and began walking back to his members, not daring to look back at her for confirmation.
—————————————
Taeyong wiped off the sweat from his forehead and neck, panting as he sat down on the chair beside Yuta.
"I heard you scratched Seulgi's arm," he spoke while fanning himself with a small catalogue.
"What?" Taeyong said with his eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, she began to bleed a little I think," Yuta added and Taeyong felt himself sink in his seat, covering his face out of guilt and embarrassment.
"I have to apologize, right?" he said.
"Obviously."
"Are you two done changing?!" they heard Taeil ask as he burst into the dressing room.
"We didn't even start," Yuta laughed and got up.
"Well, hurry up!" the elder exclaimed. "We're going out for drinks with the girls."
"Yes, captain!" Yuta said with a salute and went to change out of his stage clothes.
"With the girls?" Taeyong mumbled, looking at Taeil who walked towards him.
He sat down on Yuta's chair. "Seulgi told me your microphone left a scratch on her arm," he said, turning to Taeyong who let out a small groan.
"Yes, yes. I know."
"Have you forgiven her yet?" he then asked in a whisper, making sure Taeyong was the only one who heard him.
After Seulgi's confession, Taeyong had rushed home to tell Taeil about everything. He wanted solutions and comfort from someone older than him. Though it was only a year between them, Taeil was the only one who knew about their encounter that night. Not even Chungha had known about it.
He sighed. "I'm going to," he said with a determined tone. "It's been too long, already."
"Are you doing it because you want to, or because you feel obliged to do so?" Taeil asked him, causing him to think twice.
"Both," he then said after a while and Taeil nodded understandingly.
"Good," he commented and patted the younger's back. "Now go and get ready, we're leaving in fifteen minutes."
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Taeil shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't know what was happening but he suddenly felt like one of those aunts who judged everyone and everything in the room. But in this case, he only judged two people.
Taeyong and Yoonoh.
He wasn't normally the type to judge people but when these two downed shots as if it was their last time and sang trot songs at the top of their lungs... It started to get questionable.
While his eyes roamed around the room, he couldn't help but place them on Seulgi who sat with the other girls by the table beside them. She talked devotedly with them and hadn't seemed to notice the chaotic scene that Taeyong and Yoonoh caused.
"I know you know."
Taeil turned to Youngho who had come to sit beside him. Clearing his throat, he said: "What?"
"Seulgi and Taeyong," he whispered and looked at Taeyong who was now holding onto Yoonoh as they sang 'Amor Fati'.
"What about them?" Taeil said dumbfoundedly and furrowed his eyebrows.
"Don't play dumb," Youngho scoffed and scooted closer. "Seulgi told me she confessed her feelings to Taeyong and from what I've observed, you know about it too."
"Wait, Seulgi told you?" Taeil asked him, straightening his back.
"Mm," Youngho nodded, causing him to sigh in relief.
"Finally I have someone to talk about it with."
"Right?" Youngho agreed and brought his glass to his lips, making a face as he sipped on the bitter beer.
"What's your opinion?" Taeil asked.
"I think," Youngho started and put down his glass. "Seulgi is trying to move on but is failing. I've kept an eye on her tonight and she thinks it isn't obvious when she takes small glances at Yong, but it is. And as for him," he paused when he pointed at a lonely Yoonoh.
"Where did Taeyong go?" he asked the others.
"Bathroom," Mark said.
"Oh," Youngho mumbled and turned back to Taeil.
"As for Taeyong," he said with a low voice. "I'm not sure if he has feelings for Seulgi, but I do believe he cares for her more than he likes to admit right now."
"He's going to apologize to her tonight," Taeil stated, making Youngho widen his eyes.
"What?"
Taeil nodded. "Well, I'm not sure if he's going to pull it off, considering his state. But he told me he was going to apologize."
"Damn."
"Did you know he hasn't talked to Chungha for a week?" Taeil then asked.
Youngho leaned back on the chair and turned to his friend with a frown. "He hasn't? why?" he asked, receiving a shrug from Taeil.
"If you want my opinion. I think he has feelings for both," Taeil said honestly. "He's been acting differently since Seulgi confessed. He's more," he trailed off, trying to find the perfect word to describe him.
"Quiet?"
"Reserved."
"Yeah, he's definitely conflicted. I know I'm not Taeyong, but I know he used to never care about Seulgi. He disliked her with a passion. And now, after their whole scandal, every single thing about her has affected him, whether it's good or bad." Youngho explained.
"I think he has had feelings for Seulgi long before she confessed. He just hasn't realised it until now."
"Maybe," Youngho sighed. "Only Yong knows what he feels."
"For sure."
——————————————
Taeyong felt himself sober up to a certain level as the cold water splashed on his face. He turned off the tap and looked up in the mirror, seeing his eyes turning red from the alcohol in his system. It wasn't his intention to drink that much tonight, but what else could he do when she was just a few meters from him? The awkward tension would kill him if he hadn't dranken.
His fingers ran through his hair and he took one last look in the mirror before unlocking the door. As he stepped out of the toilet his eyes landed on a pair of legs in front of him. He gulped as he gazed a little upwards, seeing the band aid on the arm.
"Are you okay?" they both asked simultaneously, causing him to finally look up into her eyes. She showed a vague smile and he brought his hand to his nape, rubbing it nervously.
"Uhm," she spoke and pointed at the toilet behind him, but somehow he seemed not to understand her intention.
"Does it hurt?" he asked instead, whereas she furrowed her eyebrows. "Your arm," he added and pointed at the band aid.
She looked down at her arm and raised her eyebrows. "Oh," she said. "No, it's okay. Don't worry."
Taeyong nodded awkwardly and pursed his lips. "Wouldn't the amount of alcohol I consumed make me more sociable?" he scolded himself mentally.
"Yoonoh is holding a love speech for everyone out there," she said and pointed behind her. "You probably don't want to miss it," she smiled.
"Actually," he spoke, "I have something to tell you."
The sudden sentence caused Seulgi to freeze on her spot. "T-tell me something?" she stuttered.
"I'm going to be," he paused and held up a finger. "very honest."
Seulgi blinked twice, not knowing if it was his drunken self that spoke or not. "Alright," she finally said.
Taeyong squinted his eyes a tiny bit as he tried to think. Suddenly he started to feel dizzy and warm but he took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "I-" he shut his mouth.
"I asked to be more sociable, not woozy," he thought.
"Wait," he said and walked back into the toilet, letting the water run a bit before splashing it onto his face again.
Seulgi didn't know what to think about the situation, but she decided not to ask him about it and let him do what he felt he had to do. He turned off the tap and turned to her, this time with more stability.
"I've come to realize that I really hate to hold grudges against you and I hate that it's awkward between us and I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you and I know some things probably won't be the same between us but I don't want you to feel awkward around me and I don't want things to be weird and I hope we can greet each other like a normal people and labelmates everytime we pass by."
If people ever doubted Taeyong's rapping skills before, they surely wouldn't if they had heard him just now. He didn't sound as sincere as he wished but at least he spat it out instead of holding it in for longer. It was time for them both to stop acting as children and let the past be in the past.
Expecting her to snap back at him, he was surprised when she smiled warmly at him.
"Thank you, Taeyong," she breathed, almost out of relief. "Again, I'm so sorry for everything."
"And again, I forgive you," he smiled vaguely and silence quickly formed between them.
What was he supposed to do now? Start another conversation with her? Ask her how the past months have been? Wouldn't that be too forced? Was this the time for him to walk away? Was she going to continue to just stand there?
Could she please say or do something?
"By the way," she thankfully broke the silence and pointed at the toilet behind him one more time. "I hope you're not planning on guarding the toilet all night, because I really need to use it."
"Oh," he said and stepped out of her way, "of course, sorry," he chuckled.
She smiled again before walking into the toilet, leaving him there to stand alone in the hallway. He clicked his tongue, sighing as he walked back to the others.
He wouldn't say he regretted going back to the others and joining them on a few more drinks. But seeing Yoonoh point at Donghyuck as he stumbled on his feet and told him how much he loved him? That wasn't the thing he wanted to remember after tonight. As he sat down beside Yuta he turned to look at Taeil who had already set his eyes on him.
"I did it," he mouthed and Taeil raised his glass with a proud smile before turning to Youngho, toasting to him.
Though he got rid of one thing that bothered him - There was still one more.
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Author's note
Hey everyone!
I hope you all are doing well and are staying healthy and safe.
I just wanted to mention that since I'm done with Bittersweet Crimes, there will be more consistent updates of Our Dating Scandal *fingers crossed* and there will probably be updates every other week or so, so you know ^^
Also, I want to inform that I have started on a new book called 'You Look Good In My Shirt' and I hope you guys will like it if you decide to read it. (There's a Taesana version as well).
Love, Somini