Mrs. Jeon hugged Jin as he walked into her home, "I am happy you came; the kids, particularly Sunghee, missed you."
Jin gave Mrs. Jeon a weak smile, not sure how he should be around her, he knew she was aware of everything, but even when she called him, she didn't seem upset with him.
Seeing as Jin wasn't going to say anything, Mrs. Jeon rests her hand on his shoulder, "do you want to walk with me out back? My husband and the sitter we hired is helping with the kids, I can take you to them after?" she looked up at Jin questioning.
Responding, Jin followed her to the backyard; when they got outside, he took a seat in the chair opposite of her on the back patio.
"I thankful you came. I am sure you know why I wanted you here. As his mother, you know it hurts seeing him hurt. I don't think I have ever seen him like this. I want to fix it; I want to do something to make him whole again, I have been trying, but he is not talking much. It's just working, and when he comes home, and it's him and the kids. He is not eating much either.
I am not sure how long this will go on; when I asked him what he will do, he tells me he doesn't want to get a divorce, but he doesn't know how to face you. You know, when he thought he had gotten someone else pregnant, he called me in tears because he was so worried about how it would destroy his relationship with you. I advise him to tell you the truth as you had a right to know.
This I would have expected your mother to tell you as well, but I guess we have different views on things. I am not upset or angry with you, I want to put that out there, but as a mother, I am hurt because my son is hurting, and that's a pain you caused and will have to fix.
You are a parent now; one day, you will understand what I mean. I am sure you are feeling it now with Sunghee and thinking about the next steps in her life. I hate seeing my child in pain, he is troubled, but he is a good person with a good heart. Don't take advantage of that please, if you know you don't want him or this marriage, let him go. It might be hard for him, but he will be fine. Though, if you want what you both have right now, let him know that, fix this, tell him the truth. I don't have the answers if it will work. All I know is, he loves you, I know you love him.
Life is far from perfect, I have filed for divorce three times in my marriage to his dad, but somehow we are still here pushing through making it work, not because we were afraid to let go, but because when it's all said and done, we love each other, but it doesn't mean we don't end up hurting each other at times. Most times, it's never intentional, but it happens, and it's up to us to figure out if we can fix it or not.
Those five kids should be the center of whatever decision you both make. They didn't ask for any of this, so you and he shouldn't make it become a pain for them. I don't have anything more to say, you can see the kids, and you can take them home if you want; I'm afraid I have to disagree with him keeping the kids to himself, you, yourself, look like you haven't been eating, and that's not good.
Jungkook is upstairs on the far right; once you see the paintings on the wall, it will lead to his room. Go talk with him; I told him you were coming by so he knows and if he is angry, let him be angry; he has every right to be."
Tears were running down Jin's face as Mrs. Jeon spoke to him; he played with the ring on his finger, excitement grew in his heart to see his kids, but there was also a stabbed of worry as he thinks about seeing Jungkook.
********
Jin couldn't pull himself away from the kids; he hadn't expected to cry as hard as he was seeing them. It had been a whole two weeks since he had seen them, that had never happened before. He knew Jungkook didn't have rights keeping them away from him, but he also didn't want to make the situation worse, he didn't know where he fit into anything anymore, the past days had been awful for him, and he was sure it wasn't any better for Jungkook.
Hugging Sunghee to his chest, he kisses her forehead while she smiled, showing her latest addition of teeth, "Appa love you so much, do you know that?"
"A-appa," Sunghee dragged out, playing with the buttons on Jin's shirt.
"Yes, it's Appa; you can say Appa now?" Touching his head to her, tears left his eyes, "you are my special sunshine, no matter what, you are my special sunshine. You, your brothers, and your sisters, you are all special to me, and I love you so much." Jin said, echoing his love for all of them.
*******
Hearing the knock at his door, Jungkook stiffened; he had seen Jin pull up from his windows and knew ultimately he would make it up to his room.
As the door opens, he sinks back into his computer chair, not knowing exactly what to do. There was a void stuck within him that made it hard for him; he also missed his husband but felt foolish at the same time; he didn't know what he was supposed to be doing in their current situation.
Every day felt like the same day, over and over, he felt like an empty shell, waiting for something to fill him up, but it never happened. Seeing the kids made him happy but sad together, especially when he looked at Sunghee; he wondered what the future would be like. He wasn't prepared to hear her call another man, her father; it was crushing him on the inside.
"Hi." Jin's soft voice says as he closes the door and goes toward Jungkook's bed, taking a seat. "I missed you."
Jungkook didn't say anything; he couldn't, the tears just started falling, and he turned his head, not wanting to be seen like that again; he felt exposed and weak, something he never thought he was.
Getting up from the bed, Jin walked over to him, unwrapping his folded arms and sitting in his lap, using his hand to wipe away the tears, "I am sorry, I am really, really sorry. I know no words I say can ever change this, but I am sorry. I never wanted this to happen."
"W-why did you have to t-tell me?" Jungkook questioned, leaning his head against Jin's arm as a loud cry leaves him.
Jin didn't know how to respond, his eyes shifted around the room, and he brings up one of his arms, wrapping it around Jungkook's shoulder, patting his back, "I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you; like this."
"It hurts so much."
Tears reappeared in Jin's eyes, "I know, I know, and I am sorry. I was wrong, so wrong. I kept it a secret because I was selfish. I didn't want to lose us and what we were becoming, not realizing it would eventually crumble what we have and destroy everything between us."
"S-she is really not m-mine, I-I took a test-" Jungkook could finish his words as he broke down, even more, a hoarse cry leaving him as he hugged his arms around Jin's waist and pressed his head against his shoulder.
"She is our daughter; she will always be our daughter. It's just she's also his d-daughter, and he wants to be in her life."
Jungkook didn't respond, and he couldn't; the pain he was feeling was suffocating him, and no amount of tears was taking it away from him.
"I love you, Jungkook. I have only ever loved you; that hasn't changed. I don't want to lose us. I know it's a lot for me to ask, but please, don't let me go. I know what I did is unforgivable, but I am hoping you can forgive me and give us another chance; our five kids, they need us, and I need you."
"Tell me everything, how did you know, and why did you wait to tell me?"
Jin took a deep breath and told Jungkook the entire truth regarding everything, not omitting anything. When he was done, Jungkook stayed still, not saying anything, which worried Jin as he didn't know what he was thinking. He tried moving, but Jungkook held him in place, and the silence between them remained.
*********
"How did it go?" Mrs. Jeon asked, seeing Jin come down the stairs.
Jin waited until he was closer to her before he spoke, "I am not sure, he is not saying much; he hugged me until he fell asleep, and then I came down here. He is hurt, and I don't know what I can do to make him stop hurting."
"It's not something you can fix overnight. He will have to heal himself. It's a lot for him to handle, but my son is a fighter; he will overcome it. I think he just wants you to be there for him, he won't ask, but he wants you there. If you want to spend the night, you are welcome to do so; I just want you both to fix this. I can't keep seeing him like that."
Jin nods his head, understanding, "I understand. Do you mind if I cook something in the kitchen since he hasn't been eating, I will make him something and attempt to give it to him?
"Oh, of course, do what you want to; this home is your home as well, don't be shy. I know things are hard between you and Jungkook, but I still care about you. You made a mistake, it's a bad mistake, but I am sure you and him both will learn from it. Also, what's that guy doing? I heard he wants to be in her life?"
"Thank you so much; this means a lot to me, and yes, he does; we spoke yesterday. He just wants to be acknowledged as her father and to have shared custody. I don't think I have a choice, and he is a good person. I have to talk to Jungkook but now is not a good time. Sunghee, I am not even sure how this will affect her; I am such a bad person, she will probably hate me when s-she grows up."
Mrs. Jeon moves closer to Jin and hugs him, "she won't, not if you do the right thing now. Jungkook is your husband, but that guy is Sunghee's father; he should be in her life just as much as Jungkook is apart of those four lives; he deserves to be in her life. Don't take that away from him because it's then she will hate you, but she won't hate you if you do the right thing now. She will grow up to understand you did the best you could for her."
"Y-you think so, but what about Jungkook? He won't want it that way?"
"I know so, stop overthinking it and do what needs to be done. If Jungkook is staying in your life, he has to do so knowing that this has to happen; he can either support it or leave but don't ever place him above what's best for your daughter; she is your child. She deserves the best from you. As a parent, you should always think about your kids and what's best for them. You are still young, and you have a lot to learn, but start now by doing the things you can that won't create more issues in the future."