If you hate BTS or kpop in general, then I highly suggest to silently avoid the video above.No negative comment regarding this.
And if you love them,be my guest for fangirling.
~~**~~
Ignorance can't be a bliss everytime now,can it?
I wish I could have just disappeared into thin air.
Every individual dear to me just heard my confession.My ultimate truth.
And I'm completely exposed to my by blood father's enemy,not as any of their dear ones anymore.
Well,it was fated to come out anyday. Truth can't be veiled for a long time.
Releasing a deep breath in surrender,I slowly turned around letting those familiar charcoal orbs eventually clash with my honey orbs after ten years.
We meet again in a new light.
I watched that unreadable gaze flashing with distinct recognition as I continued looking at his face with my now void but bright honey orbs.
But my inside,it's not feeling the same void.It's feeling the crumbling emotions similar to the crumbling of house of cards.
The crumbling to the nothingness.
As if every single moments and feelings we had shared,have crumbled down in a scattered pieces of that house of cards.As if there's no turning back of fixing that house of cards.
And I should have resisted myself more.I should have remained prepared for facing this consequences sooner or later.
And yet,my heart is still reluctant to just let go of those emotions. To accept the end of those moments.
It's unfair to expect him to view me in the same way like he used to do earlier.
Like the day we had our first kiss. Like the day we had our unexpected meet at underground.Like the day we together had our first mission.Like the day he followed me at the Bonanza club for a last gazing.
And finally,like today.In his home at the morning.In the data center here. In the cabin while tending my wounds.
It's wrong to expect those gazes any longer.
I'm not Azaleas Knight anymore.I'm now Azaleas Eleonora Federico.The daughter of that unmentionable flesh who killed his best friend akin brother. Who evilly killed his uncle. Who left his whole family and mother traumatized.Who clearly killed his youth.
And now, who's holding his only and dear sister as a hostage with no surety of returning her back alive.
I may not be involved in his sick deeds.But I sure as hell carry his wicked remembrance.His filthy name.His degraded genes.
And I myself, can't find the courage to meet any of the Ivano's gaze full on knowing what my father did to them.
"You managed to find your way back home."I tonelessly uttered out watching Mr.Ivano's whole expression returning to his signature blank expression.
Just what I had seen in our first visit after ten years,in his office.
Cold and unreadable.
Also,he do remember me from ten years ago.
I haven't remembered much about that bruised teenager.For some days after getting my shelter with papa and Bella,I was actually concerned regarding his safe return to his family.
Eventually,my own concerning issues suppressed the concern regarding him.
Until that day.
The day when he narrated the tragic death incident of Albert Angus and him being kidnapped. When I was hit with a brick of realisation.
The realisation of the incident followed after that.
Mr.Ivano being kidnapped and held as hostage in that haunted home. Where I was a hostage too.
And both of us walking out together and going in our own ways.Or more specifically,I leaving him on the midway to find my own way.
I had a major trust issue at that time to expose myself infront of my father's sworn rivals or to anyone related to my father.
But now,here I stand,ready to join my hands with the said enemy. Only if they can manage to put their trust on me.
"This man was uttering absolute bullshit.Lilliana Ragnilde died fifteen years ago due to blood cancer.Lucifer had sent his trusted lapdog here to mess with the Ivano's mind since you all seemed close with her." I informed in a sincere tone as Mr.Ivano continued watching me without a single word.
And those eyes, cold and emotionless like a stone.
Realising that those midnight orbs is no longer going to capture my orbs with those spark and trust,I turned around facing the one way glass window surely knowing that everyone is standing behind it.
It's better to speak out everything without needing to meet their gazes.
"Papa,even though you are free to disown me now for being a part of enemy's flesh,I'll consider you as my only papa until death." I firmly declared out not letting my voice falter over.
I need to hang on until I'm alone.
"I'm sorry for never telling about my real identity.Honestly, I'm still not ready to see your guarded face just because the blood of your enemy is running through my veins. Not only you,but also of my other brothers." I raspily spoke out realising that my emotions is getting the best of me.
I can't hold up myself for long.
"But,I sincerely hope that you all will try to trust me on this factor that,she really died and I was not any undercover of Lucifer Federico till now.That was never my reason of hiding my original identity."I firmly added as my eyelids briefly closed to gather my nerves.
Please trust me.
"The reason of me joining you all in underground is same as Don's motive, destroying Lucifer Federico.I hope that this news of mine won't make you all exclude me from the upcoming operation or plans." I softly pleaded clenching my fist on either sides.
I will still go after Lucifer Federico. With or without them beside me.
"I assure that,after all of this is over, I'll not bother anyone with my presence.I know, watching me now will make everyone just remember about Lucifer Federico and what ruination he left behind."I ended up in a choked voice forcing my legs to quickly move me towards the door.
I can't hold up anymore.
Without looking up for once,I walked away from the gathered mass outside as no one came forward to stop me.
I was not even expecting anyone to.
Finally coming out from the room, I let my eyes welled up with tears I was trying to hold in for so long. Sobbing lightly, I quickly moved ahead wanting to have some alone time with myself.
Want is the wrong word.I needed it.
Within seconds, I found myself entering inside the elevator and going upwards as I pressed the UG1 floor.
All the time, I was staring at my feet as my long curls curtained my whole agonized face from the world.
It's been so long since my hair felt the outside lights.
Descending from the elevator, I walked towards the conference room where everyone had gathered earlier today.
I don't know any other place in this mansion which will ensure my much needed privacy without anyone noticing.
Locking the door, I looked upward as my tears continued to stream down my cheeks freely.Feeling thousand of emotion hitting me,I screamed out in anguish letting every incidents of my life crash over me.
My past,my present and my alone future.
Guess what,I'm not fated to enjoy anything good permanently.
Crouching down leaning against the wall,I hugged my knees closer and silently cried out as every bit of memories continued buzzing through my mind.
The beautiful memories of my mother unconditionally loving me.
The painful memories inflicted to me and my mother by that scoundrel Lucifer and his subordinates.
The escape for a betterment with papa and Bella beside me.Making me see the life in a new light.
Infinite colourful memories with my adopted parents and my crew mates. As they pampered me with love, care and affection.As they unconditionally accepted me without any second thought.As they raised me to be an independent strong women.My own person I'm proud of.
And finally,the shields of my heart vibrating with the strong foreign feelings and emotions for the first time for someone.
Karl Alfred Ivano.
Everything I cherished with my whole heart, is now on the brink of abolishment.
I'm on the brink of returning back to my childhood self.That aloof self after the death of mama.Where existed the alone me,with darkness surrounding. With nothing to look forward to.With coldness surrounding my whole being.
Only because of just one person.
Or better,one unwanted existence.
Who didn't thought to become a human.Who didn't thought to be an ideal husband and father for his family.Who didn't thought to sync in with his humane part.Who did the pathetic deed of selling away his soul to the worst devil.Who willingly fed his soul with evilness and cruelty. Who never thought to look beyond his self greed and pathetic existence.
Lucifer Federico.A wicked and rotten soul in the disguise of human skin.
With no ounce of humanity.
I throughly vow that,you'll pay per cent for every single mishap you caused in my life. You'll have to pay for making my mother live through hell till her last breath. You'll pay for making me watch my mother go through hell.You'll pay for letting your man and yourself make me go through hell and back.
You fucking better start to count your last days,Lucifer Federico.
I swear,you won't be able to end your count of payment.You won't be able to count at all.
You'll just plead,beg and cry for mercy.For receiving your death.For getting your end in hell.
And I'll personally ensure to let you feel every damned feeling I have felt in hundredfold.Even if I have bleed out to death to ensure that.
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