It was Manny's Birthday Dinner I was wearing
30 minutes earlier!
"Let's go. let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go"! Jay yelled from the bottom of the stair. "I'm looking for the keys"! Gloria justified to her many reasons of being late. "Of course you are" Jay sighed. "How do I look"? Manny asked me and Jay. He walked out in a suit. A suit. "Like Al Capone" Jay replied bluntly. "Thanks"! Manny thanked him.
"You look great" I smiled. "Thank you" Manny thanked. "Happy Birthday Kid" Jay smiled handing Manny a present bag. He pulled out a bb gun "Whoa"! Manny gasped. "A BB gun"?! Manny and I said unison. "Enjoy. That's the best gift my dad ever gave me" Jay explained. "My keys are nowhere, We're going to have to go in your car" Gloria demanded.
"It's in the shop. Where was the last place you put your keys"? Jay asked. Oh no. Another argument on board. "So now it's my fault? Where was the last place you put my keys"! Gloria yelled. "In your hand, when I bought you the car" Jay sighed at his wife. "Hey Jay, on the box it says ages 16 and up. Is this an appropriate gift for me"? Manny asks holding BB gun in his hand. I want it so bad. Like so so bad. "Are you kidding me! You were born 16"! Jay snapped back.
"You know we wouldn't be having this problem if you hadn't of lost the spare set" Jay sighed at his pasting wife. "I didn't lose them. Someone came in here and stole them"! Gloria lied. "Yeah and left the car" Jay mumbled. "What do you mean I was born 16"? Manny questioned. "I'm just saying you were never much of a kid, and that's a good thing 'cause I never liked kids. You ought to try the fridge, 'cause that's where we found your cell phone"! Jay shouted to his wife and told Manny.
"It was only one time, Jay. And you know I always eat after I talk to my mother" Gloria snapped before dramatically walking off as usual. Jay turned around to talk to Manny and told the small boy, "Happy birthday, old man" whilst patting Manny on the shoulder. Manny just nodded I could see he wasn't happy he was sad. He was sad at being called an old man. I mean he has an old soul and he acts way too old for his age but he missed out on the best years of his life. Childhood.
"You always do this. Now we're going to be late to our own party" Jay sighs as we still was waiting for Gloria to find her keys. "Stop shouting"! Gloria demanded searching behind the bar for her keys. "Technically I wasn't . . ." Jay began to say before being cut off by Manny talking into the phone. He was making his first prank call. "Uh yes, hello. Is Seymour Butts there"? He asked. Wow! Seymour Butts! That is so . . .
Funny.
"Not Lutz. I'm looking for Butts. Yes, I'm trying to get hold of Butts "! Manny raised his voice to the phone. He furrowed his eyebrows to the next comment the person made on the line. "Very funny. I don't have time for this foolishness" Manny scoffed, then put the phone down.
"Manny wait"! I shouted running over to my unsuccessful 'brother'. Manny came to a halt after I shouted his name. He turned around and looked at me, "Yeah"? he sighed.
"I'll show you how to do a prank call" I told Manny. "You will"? He questioned. "Yeah so how about we start off easy . . . a pizza place" I asked. Manny looked hesitant at first then nodded. I dialed up the number making sure not to make any mistakes. It rang. And rang. And rang. Until...
"Hello, this is smiley pizza's what can we get you on this very cheesy evening" A man sighed unenthusiastically down the phone. "Can we have a 9' kdccnmkakn" I spoke in gibberish. Manny tried not to laugh. "Then can I have a side of smcsmsdcd" Manny smiled. Then the line automatically cut off. Me and Manny fell onto the floor out of laughter.
"Maybe if you had a system for where you leave your things " Jay sighed holding his glass of wine. Still patiently waiting for Gloria. "I have a system. I put down things, then I remember where I put them" Gloria snapped back whilst looking for her keys on the shoe rack. "And that would be preferable to, say, putting them on the key holder which just happens to look like a large key"? Jay sighs pointing the the key holder that did actually look like a large key. "Stop screaming"! Gloria screamed at her husband.
A couple more minutes later.
We still haven't left and I'm helping Manny have a small bit of a childhood. Now we are mixing two bottles of soda together. "What are you doing you two"? Jay questioned. "Turning back the clock" Manny said focusing on his concoction of a drink. Jay picks up his suit jacket and hear a little jingle. It sounded like metal. Money? No. Lighter? No. Gloria's keys. Ding Ding Ding.
I see him sneakily place them into Gloria's purse as Manny wasn't watching. Manny took a sip of his drink. It looked normal until it hit him. He pulled a range of weird faces. "Disgusting" He gasped. "Don't judge me. You've never been married. This never happened" Jay warned oblivious to the fact Manny was oblivious to what he was talking about.
"I don't know what you're talking about"? Manny answered truthfully. "That's a good man" Jay smiled. Oh no. Manny isn't a man he's a boy. A little Boy. "Boy! I'm a boy" Manny yelled before walking off. "Nice one Jay" I sigh before chasing after Manny. Manny won't come out of his room. I give up and I'm going to sit with the key-less Gloria and sneaky Jay.
"How come I do all the looking and you do all the sitting"? Gloria asked her sitting husband. Holding the same glass of wine with a little bit missing. "'Cause you do all the losing" Jay snapped back. "Oh, and your this close to doing all of the sleeping in a tent in the backyard" Gloria yelled at her husband. "Have you checked your purse"? I ask Gloria.
"Yes, of course" Gloria added. "It's a big purse, you might well look again" Jay smirked. "Okay, I'll check you rest" Gloria scoffed sarcastically. She opens her purse to reveal her shiny pair of car keys. Jay takes a sip of his wine. "No, there's nothing" Gloria squeaked.
"You sure"? I ask. "Yes. I've looked twice now. There's nothing" Gloria says faking the fact we have all seen the keys in her purse. "Okay then you better call us a cab" Jay sighed. "Manny"! Jay shouted getting ready to leave. There was no answer. "Manny"!? I shouted. Me and Jay walked out to the now open patio doors leading to the pool.
"What the hell"? I question my siting. "Where'd that thing come from"? Jay asked. "Christmas. two years ago. Never took it out of the box, 'Who would enjoy that' I thought. A kid, that's who" Manny answered. Manny was in the pool led on a giant floatie. It could probably fit me and him on it, although I was very tempted to join him, I didn't want to get my dress wet.
The floatie was like a mini beach. "Well, come on. We've got your party" Jay sighs placing his hands on his hips. "What's the point? You were right, I was born 16. I've lost my childhood " Manny sighs dramatically. Honestly this kid does act like an old man. Stubborn.
"Why did you want me to look again in my purse, Jay and Julie, huh"? Gloria asks walking into the backyard. "Is it because you put the keys in there"? She questions me and Jay. "No. Why? Did you find them"? Jay lying asks his wife.
"Yes, I found them because you put the keys in there"! Gloria yells. "Manny, What the hell are you doing there"? Gloria asks her sad looking son. "He wants to cancel his party because he missed his child hood" Jay sighs. "The party I have rescheduled three times, changing the restaurant twice so the whole family could be together"! Gloria yells at her surprisingly chilled out son. "Please send my regrets. Now if I could have a little privacy. . ." Manny sighs before being cut off by Gloria.
"Privacy! *something in Spanish*"! Gloria yells before making her dramatic exit as usual. "Is that a skateboard there"? I ask pointing to a black object with wheels sunk at the bottom the pool. "The second thing that slipped right out from under me today" Manny sighs dramatically.
"Okay"! I yell. "Time to get out"! Jay demanded. "The first was my childhood" Manny continued. "I get it"! Jay sighed. I was starting to get frustrated with Jay's sighing and Manny's moping. Gloria seemed to match my energy as well "I am so sick of stubborn men. You, you act like a little boy that doesn't want to accept that he's wrong. And you act like a sad old man that doesn't want to be happy! That's it"! She yelled furiously.
I quickly grab the BB gun from inside and hand it to her. She aims for the floatie Manny was sat on. "You could've shot me"! Manny yelled. "Come on Manny. I could've unbuttoned your shirt if I wanted to. Now come here or sink"! Gloria demanded. "And I'm taking this with me in the car" She says wafting the BB gun around. She dramatically walks off like the queen she is. I admire Gloria she let's no one or nothing stop her. "Vamanos" I say to Manny pointing for him to come stand back onto the patio. He slowly rows himself back to 'shore'.
We were finally in the car after a long hour of looking for the keys, Gloria broke the silence with "Tell me the truth Jay, Did you put the key in my bag"? "No" Jay answered bluntly. "I won't be mad" Gloria said in that tone where she will be mad either way. "In order to prove a point I may have . . . . ." Jay began to speak as Gloria cut him off. "I KNEW IT"!!! Gloria screamed whilst keeping one hand on the steering wheel and hitting Jay with the other one. Furiously. "Oh! Ow"! Jay winced. "Why did I get you such a big watch"? Jay questioned himself. "Why Jay? What point do you have to prove"!? Gloria asked her husband sounding very angry.
"I'm trying to teach you to be organized. Your mind is scattered Gloria" Jay huffed. "You mind is going to be scattered. Manny hand me the gun"! Gloria demanded her son.
As we where about to pull into the restaurant. Three cars come speeding towards us. "Mom look out"! Manny squealed before shielding him and I. Luckily we weren't hit. "Anyone hurt"? Jay asks getting out the car. "I am" Uncle Cam sighed dramatically. Argument before. Mitch just rolled his eyes at his dramatic boyfriend. Then we went inside and finally time for Manny's long speech.
"I was almost too depressed to come today. I realized that I let my childhood slip away. Look at Luke there, making one big straw out of three. Never change Luke" Manny smiled. We all looked at the small curly haired boy at the end of the table doing exactly as what Manny had said. Slurping out of his custom straw. I just laughed at him, he never failed to make me laugh.
"I really thought it was too late for me. But watching all of you acting like children, it hit me. . . I've got plenty of time left to be a kid. Anyway happy birthday to me" Manny carried on with his speech as we all raised a glass and cheered "Happy Birthday Manny"!
"I have been a child" Cam 'whispered' into Mitch's ear. "I'm sorry, I hid your keys" Jay apologized. "I'm sorry I shoot the island" Gloria sorrowed back. "Were totally racing home" Phil laughed. "Way ahead of you, as usual" Claire sneered. Phil looked at me and rolled his eyes at his competitive wife. Me and Manny just shared a cheesy grin.
I was happy this was family.
The next day
"They say it's going to be a rainy weekend" Manny sighed reading from his newspaper. Yep this boy had spent all day of his birthday complaining about how he was treated and acts like an old man and what is he doing now. Reading the newspaper.
"They don't know" Jay scowled checking the mail. "I do, My knee has been singing all morning" Manny answered back.
"Unbelievable" Jay gasped. He bent down behind the couch and picked up keys.
Gloria's car keys. He began to walk over to the key holder but hesitantly turned to hide them in the ice bucket placed on the bar. As he was going to drop the keys in the golden bucket a bullet just missed his fingers.
"Put them down and walk away" I said pointing the gun at the knocked over bucket. Gloria was stood behind me with a smug and proud grin plastered on her face.
"You, know Gloria . . . ." Jay began to speak but then Gloria snatches the BB gun off me and points it to Jay. He just drops the keys and puts his hands up to surrender himself. I don't know weather to be scared of Gloria or in awe. Manny looks up from his paper and drops it as he sees me messing around with it.
"Oh no you don't"! He shouts running over and snatching the gun and placing it gently on the table.
"Party pooper"! I huffed before walking away.