「007. monster donuts are not tasty 」
CADIE DIAZ had never been afraid of falling. but at the speed they were hurtling towards the water, you can damn well assume that the poor thing was screaming her head off, silently wondering in her mind if perhaps this was the true way she died. not with a prophecy, not from a monster. no- she was about to die from pure fear as she hurtled towards the water.
"the flask!" screamed percy, his voice cracking as they hurtled towards imminent doom.
this is it, she thought to herself, this is how i die. gods, i hope your happy.
"what?!" yelled annabeth, rightly assuming that perhaps percy had lost his mind. she along with the rest of them were holding on for dear life.
however tyson, perhaps the only competent one as cadie had decided (she'd have given herself the role had she not realised how blatantly pathetic and stupid she was). he opened percy's duffel bag and took out herme's magical flask without losing his grip on it or the boat. arrows and javelins whistled past them, and percy had his eyes shit, as if he were praying for something good to happen.
"hang on!" he yelled.
"i am hanging on!" screamed back annabeth.
"well hang on better!" he spat back.
jeeze, it's as if i'm not here, she thought to herself as she screamed a bit more. just the average day, right?
suddenly, tyson grabbed onto the backs of their shirts (how he managed to grab all three, cadie would never know. but her respect points were shooting up far past one-hundred percent now). percy gave the flask cap a quarter turn. instantly, a white sheet of wind jetted out of the flask and propelled us sideways, turning our downward plummet into a forty-five-degree crash landing.
as they hit the ocean, they bumped oce, twice, skipping like a stone. then they were whizzing along like a speed boat, salt spraying in their faces and nothing but sea ahead. cadie could hear wails of outrage from the ship behind them, but they were already out of weapon range. good day then.
the princess andromeda faded to the size of a white toy boat in the distance, and then it was gone. as they raced over sea, percy put cadie in charge of trying to get an iris-message to chiron. they (see as: annabeth) had figured it was important to tell somebody what luke was going, and there was nobody else better to trust with such information than chiron.
cadie awkwardly threw a gold drachma into the mist, and prayed for the rainbow goddess to show them chiron. his face appeared and all, but there was some kind of weird strobe light flashing in the background and music was blaring.
"chiron are you at a frat party?" was the first intelligent thing to escape from cadie's mouth.
from then on, she decided to shut up, and perhaps let annabeth and percy finish it. quickly, they summarised and told him about how they sneaked away from camp, and just about everything that happened on the princess andromeda and the golden box of kronos' remains. but between the noise on his end and the rushing of the wind and water on theirs, cadie wasn't so sure he heard much.
"percy!" chiron yelled, "you have to watch out for-" his voice was drowned out by loud shouting behind him – a bunch of voices whooping it up like comanche warriors.
"what?" yelled percy loudly.
"curse my relatives!" chiron spoke, ducking as a plate flew over his head and shattered somewhere out of sight, "annabeth, you shouldn't have let percy leave camp! and cadencia! you better have the elixir with you- and no singing! now id you do get to the fleece-"
"yeah, baby!" somebody behind chiron yelled, "woo-hoooooo!"
"-miami!" chiron yelled, "i'll try to keep watch-"
but the misty screen smashed apart like someone on the other side had thrown a bottle at it, and chiron was gone.
"good talk," gulped cadie, "good shit."
it was an hour later when they spotted land. there was a long stretch of beach lined with high-rise hotels. the water became crowded with fishing boat and tankers. a coast guard cruisers passed on our starboard side, then turned like it wanted to take a second look. perhaps it wasn't everyday they saw a lifeboat with no engine going a knots an hour, manned by four kids.
"that's virginia beach!" annabeth said, "oh my gods, how did the princess andromeda travel so far overnight? that's like-"
"five hundred and thirty nautical miles," percy said almost immediately.
oh he smart, cadie murmured to herself before instantly regretting it and imagining slapping herself in the face, stop acting how lilly and cam think you act!
"how did you know that?" annabeth said.
"i... i'm not sure?" percy spoke, saying it more like a question than an answer. and for some reason, that sent butterflies coursing through cadie's stomach.
"percy what's our position?"
"thirty-six degrees, forty-four minutes north, seventy-six degrees, two minutes west," he blurted immediately. he shook his head moments later, "woah, how did i know that?"
"your dad," annabeth guessed, "but that's so cool. when you're at see, you have perfect bearings."
"so you're like a human gps?" cadie said.
but by the looks of percy's face, perhaps that wasn't the best thing for her to say.
"other boat is coming," percy said, "we can't let them catch us. they'll ask too many questions."
"keep going into chesapeake bay" annabeth said, "i know a place we can hide."
in all fairness, cadie thought the hideout was awesome. woven out of plant material, it looked sound and pretty waterproof. stacked in the corner was everything you could want for a campout – sleeping bags, blankets, an ice chest and a kerosene lamp. there were demigod provisions, too – bronze javelin tips, a quiver full of arrows, an extra sword and a box of ambrosia. the place smelled musty, like it had been vacant for a long time.
"a half-blood hideout," percy said, looking around in awe, "did you guys make this?"
"thalia and i," she said before faltering and adding, "and luke.
"do you think luke would look for us here?" cadie spoke, "i mean... guys like an insane dude right now-" she noticed annabeth's mouth turn to a frown and she added, "but i'm sure he wasn't like that when you met him."
"he won't," annabeth said after a while, "we made a dozen safe houses exactly like this. i doubt luke even remembers where they are. or cares."
she threw herself down on the blankets and started going through her duffel bag. her body language made it pretty clear she didn't want to talk.
"um, tyson?" percy said. "would you mind scouting around outside? like, look for a wilderness convenience store or something?"
"convenience store?"
"yeah, for snacks. powdered doughnuts or something. just don't go too far."
"powdered doughnuts," tyson said earnestly. "i will look for powdered doughnuts in the wilderness." he headed outside and started calling, "here, doughnuts!"
once tyson left, cadie decided to make herself useful and decided she'd just sit in the corner and contemplate to herself. she brought other car-keys, looking at them without proper care. there were keys jangling from it- most leading to weird places at camp and a new addition. to a regular mortal, it looked just like a little decorative plastic holders with glitter stopped with a cork. but really, it was a shrunken version of the elixir chiron had given her. crushed unicorn horn and goodness knows what. and the small little doses where supposed to make her feel better? cadie wasn't sure. but they looked interesting.
"i'm sorry about luke," percy said, sitting next to annabeth. the two of them conversing with each other.
somehow, cadie wasn't too bothered by this- she didn't know why. perhaps it was the fact she'd just accepted the fact that she'd be the outsider of this quest. she wasn't friends with any of them. hell, the person she probably was closest to was tyson (he was a really nice dude. and cadie couldn't understand annabeth's hostility to him). in all honesty she just didn't think of herself to really feel comfortable on this quest. she was just a daughter of a minor goddess, hardly worthy of any deadly curse (yet she still got one. so that was fun) and all she really wanted to do was just get back home to camp and to her friends.
"it's not your fault," annabeth said, unsheathing her knife and cleaning the blade with a rag.
"he let us go too easily," percy said after a moment.
"i was thinking the same thing," annabeth said, "what we overheard him say about the gamble, and 'they'll take the bait'... i think he was talking about us."
"the fleece is the bait? or grover?"
"i don't know, percy," annabeth said, "maybe he wants the fleece for himself. maybe he's hoping we do all the hard work and then he can steal it from us. i just... i can't believe he would poison the tree."
"what did he mean when he said thalia would've been on his side?"
"he's wrong," annabeth said blandly.
"you don't sound sure."
"percy, you know who you remind me of most? thalia. you guys are so much alike it's scary. i mean, either you would've been best friends or you would've strangled each other."
"let's go with best friends," he responded meekly.
"thalia got angry at her dad all the time. so do you. would you turn against olympus because of that?"
"no."
"okay then. neither would she. so luke's wrong."
there was silence for a few moments, and cadie continued to fiddle with her keys until she looked up, noticing that they were staring at her. she dropped her keys, her face turning red as she said, "um, why are you guys staring at me?"
"something luke said," annabeth spoke, "you looked so pale when he said what i assume is a line in your prophecy. what was it? something about poison filling something? i-" she stopped, "i shouldn't ask- it's annoying because i'm curious and... i don't want to come across as a bitch. just... if you're comfortable, could you tell us anything?"
her first immediate response was to blurt out, "sorry, but you'll have to unlock level ten friendship for that. tragic backstory is a lot of baggage." she paused, hating herself for saying that. she continued, a small smile on her face, "and besides, prophecies are mysterious. and... personally i don't really like them."
"i think we can officially say that after you lashed out at luke," percy nodded, "you were so mad. i barely know you, but you always seem so awkward and quiet. but he spoke as if he knew something bad would happen to you."
"well that's just because my fate is tied to something bad," she said carefully, not wanting to scare them, "it's no matter- i'm just trying to ignore it until it eventually happens. and besides it's not like i can just stop myself from d-"
she was interrupted when the door to the hut creaked open and tyson crawled in with a big smile, "powdered doughnuts!" holding up a pastry box.
"good job dude!" cadie managed, giving him a tight smile before scooting away a bit. mostly to give tyson room, and also just because wow there's a lot of people.
annabeth frowned, "where do you get that? we're in the middle of the wilderness. there's nothing around for-"
"fifteen meters," tyson said, "monster doughnut shop- just over the hill!"
somehow, cadie had a feeling they were now about to go see the monster doughnut shop. sigh, why did she have a bad feeling about this?
cadie should totally become the new oracle or something. because her gut feeling about everything going wrong was extremely correct. sometimes she hated how good she was at guessing things. they were all currently crouching behind a tree, staring at a doughnut shop in the middle of the woods. it was brand new, with brightly lit colors, a parking area and a little road leading off into the forest. in big black letters, it said: monster doughnut but there was a cartoon ogre taking a bite out of the 'o' in 'monster'.
"that's it," annabeth muttered, "we're fucked."
"and how exactly are we fucked?" hissed back percy.
"this shouldn't be here, it's wrong."
"it's just a doughnut shop, beth, stop overreacting," percy whispered back. the way the two of them spoke, cadie wondered if they were friends. one moment, they were snapping and insulting each other, and the next they were acting like they were the best of buds. perhaps that was just their friendship?
"why are we whispering?" tyson asked quietly.
"tyson went in and bought a dozen. nothing happened to him," percy argued.
"he's a monster."
"monster doughnut doesn't mean there are actually monsters!" said percy, "it's a chain. we've got them in new york."
"a chain," she agreed, "but don't you think- that perhaps it's a bit strange that one appeared immediately after you told tyson to get doughnuts? right here in the middle of the woods? honesty. stop being thick for a moment, percy."
"hey!"
"look, the point is," annabeth continued, "it could possibly be a nest."
"a nest for what?" asked percy.
cadie probably would've answered, had she not heard a very faint (even for her hearing) scraping sound coming towards them. she let out a weak meep before she said warily, "uh... guys-"
"not now cadie," annabeth huffed, "look percy, have you never wondered how franchise stores pop up so fast? how one day there's nothing and the next day- boom,, there's a new burger place or a coffee shop r whatever? first a single store, then two, then four- exact replicas spreading across the country?"
"uh guys i really think we should-"
"um, no. never thought about it," percy mumbled, the two of them ignoring cadie as the scraping sounds got louder.
"no guys seriously something is behind-"
"percy, some of the chains multiply so fast because all their locations are magically linked to the life force of a monster. some children of hermes figured out how to do it back in the 1950s, they breed-"
"guys i'm being serious!" hissed cadie, "som-"
"cadie can you stop talking?" hissed annabeth, "nothing is behind-" she froze, a pathetic squeak coming from her mouth, "oh shit something is behind us."
"thank you!" hissed cadie, "no sudden movements, people!"
"very slowly," annabeth said, "turn around."
"well i shouldn't say i told you so," cadie hissed, feeling a weird mix of smugness and complete cowardly fear, " 'cause that's not strong enough. how about- i'm always right, and you should listen to whatever i have to say- and never disagree ever for the sake of your fucking demigodhoods."
"... did you just quote teen wolf?"
"perhaps i did, the point is we're screwed."
well, she wasn't exactly wrong. because as they slowly came face to face with the monster, cadie was practically shaking with fear. it's skin was leathery, decked with multiple necks watch with a hissing serpent. and under each neck it wore aplastic bib that read: i'm a monster doughnut kid! they waited, perhaps if they just shut up then the hydra would just ignore them or something terribly amazing like that.
it seemed to be sniffing the ground and the trees like it was hunting for something. it was only when cadie noticed the fact that two of the heads were ripping apart a piece of yellow canvas, one of the duffel bags, that cadie realised they were following their scent. all of them were scared of their minds- and cadie's mind repeated one thing like a siren noise from a cops car: dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. why had she even went on this quest? oh this is totally percy's fault! her mind argued, it's his stupid hair thats really fluffy and his green eyes! it's all his fault!
tyson trembled, stepping back and accidentally snapping a twig. oh this is how it starts in those horror movies.
instantly, all seven heads turned towards them and hissed.
"scatter!" yelled annabeth.
she dived to the right, percy rolled to the right and cadie just ran for dear life. one of the hydra heads spat an arc of green liquid past her shoulder and splashed against an elm. the trunk smoked and disintegrated. the whole tree was about to topple onto tyson, who still hadn't moved. percy was too far to save him, but looked scared out of his life for tyson.
boldly with no sense of a plan, cadie's heart lurched as she sprinted towards tyson, tackling him and knocking the two of them aside just as the hydra lunged and the tree crashed on top of two of its heads. the hydra stumbled backwards, yanking its heads free and wailing in outrage at the fallen tree.
"come on buddy," whispered cadie, trying to keep her voice kind, "we need to get moving."
tyson whimpered and cadie made cooing sounds, "hey, hey- it's alright. no, it's alright tyson- bud let's get moving."
"thank you," he mumbled like a toddler, "friend."
she didn't know whether to scream in absolute fear because the hydra could kill them, or perhaps hug the poor cyclops tightly and telling him he was an amazing person. she knew percy was a good person0 she knew that and of course she knew he was kind! but... she'd seen his face when tyson got claimed. embarrassed... and for what? tyson was one of the sweetest people cadie had ever had the pleasure to meet- she thought he was amazing!
percy, realising too late that yson was safe, had uncapped riptide in hopes of drawing the monster's attention away. it worked, the sight of the celestial bronze made the hydra's heads whip towards percy, baring its teeth and hissing. one of the heads snapped at him. percy swung his sword.
"no!" annabeth yelled.
too late, percy had sliced the hydra's head clean off. it rolled away into the grass, leaving a flailing stump which immediately stopped bleeding and began to swell like a balloon. in a matter of seconds, the wounded neck split into two necks, each of which grea a full-sized head.
"percy!" scolded annabeth, "you just opened another monster doughnut shop somewhere!"
he dodged a spray of acid as cadie tried to calm down the sobbing tyson. "hey- percy's alright tyson. no dude don't cry-"
"friend," he sobbed, hugging her tightly.
she didn't mind the incentive, he was a good hugger, but she felt like her lungs might be crushed, "oh buddy- finding it hard to breath-"
"-do we kill this thing?"
"fire!" yelled back annabeth, "we have to have fire!"
good. they had a solution. except-
"no fire," wailed tyson.
percy backed up towards the river, and cadie's mind began to panic. she had the urge to sing- she really did. the words were on the tip of her tongue, bubbling and boiling, wishing for her to let them out and proclaim them to the world but she forced herself to focus on the crying tyson, trying to comfort the poor cyclops. the hydra followed percy, and annabeth tried to distract them. cadie looked to annabeth and percy and back to tyson, a frown on her face. she grabbed her car keys, regretting as she clicked the sword button.
with a glow of golden light, a celestial bronze sword appeared in her hand. she held it awkwardly, almost cutting her leg before she steadied it. she turned back to tyson, "sorry buddy- gotta help."
and then she charged in, blindly and stupidly as she lamely yelled, "hey! get away from them!" and started to wave her sword, trying to distract the monster. one of the hydra heads turned, and knocked her far away, making her land practically in the water- her clothes sure to be covered and truly messed up.
"no hitting my friends!" yelled tyson loudly, charing towards the hydra, putting himself between her and the monster. she warily got to her feet, and tyson started smashing at the monsters head with his fists fast.
but even tyson couldn't fend off the hydra forever, even as much as he wanted to. they kept inching backwards, dodging acid splashed and deflecting snapping heads without cutting them off, but she knew it was only postponing their doom. well at least i won't die to the prophecy, she chuckled to herself.
then she heard it. the faint sound of an engine, she was sure of it.
"what's that noise?" annabeth shouted, keeping her eyes on the hydra.
"steam engine," tyson said.
"what?" percy yelled.
then, from the river, a familiar voice shouted, "ther! prepare the thirty-two pounder!"
she didn't dare look away from the hydra, but she knew who the voice belonged to. of course she did.
"they're too close, m'lady!"
"damn those heroes!" the girl yelled, "full steam ahead!"
"aye, m'lady."
"fire at will, captain!"
"hit the dirt!" yelled annabeth.
quickly, they all dived for the ground as an earth-shattering boom echoed from the river. there was a flash of light, a column of smoke and the hydra exploded right in front of them showing them all with nasty green slime that vaporized as soon as it hit.
"gross!" yelled annabeth.
"steamship!" tyson cried happily.
cadie finally stood, coughing from the cloud of gunpowder smoke that was rolling across the banks chugging towards them down the river was the strangest ship she'd ever seen. it rode low in the water like a submarine, its deck plated with iron. in the middle was a trapezoid-shaped case mate with slats on each side for cannons. a flag waved from the top – a wild boar and spear on a blood-red field. lining the deck were zombies in grey uniforms – dead soldiers with shimmering faces that only partially covered their skulls.
the ship was an ironclad. a civil war battle cruiser. she could just make out the name along the prow in moss-covered letters: css birmingham. and standing next to the smoking cannon that had almost killed us, wearing full greek battle armour, was clarisse, "loosers." she huffed, "but i suppose i have to rescue you. come aboard."
rosie speaks!
hello there bbys. welcome
to what i call ro is impulsive
and she wrote a lot today.
so that was very swag. also
this book has grown so much
and i'm so happy yall are
enjoying not so far !! i cant wait
to get to the next book w
battle of the labyrinth as its
one of my favourite parts.
nyways— have fun lovelies !!
thoughts ??
word count: 3,823 words