I grabbed a cart and walked into Walmart. I took my sunglasses off and started to get a couple groceries. My kids was almost out of school so I had to hurry up. It feels like my life was going back to normal. I was trying so hard to get back to my old self.
My hair, nails, feet, and make up was done again.! I was back to dressing like a girl, my boyishly ways had faded. I felt like me again. Deep down my soul was still hurt but I was forcing myself to be okay. I just hated myself so much for what I did to my kids and started using like a crack head. I'm not drug addict so why would I ever put that shit in my body.?
Magic.? I heard a female voice question. I looked up and Lani was on the side of the grapes. I nodded my head and picked up some strawberries. "Seriously.? You gone act like you don't know me.?!"
What you want from me Lani.?!
What you mean.? I haven't heard from you in over a month? We are sisters and you just disappeared on me.! Malachi said you and him got into it but I'm tryna figure out what that gotta do with you and me and why I haven't heard from you.! You look good Mag.
You told him you seen me sniffing and started judging me before you knew anything. I was in the worst time of my life and everybody just thinks time heals and I was just supposed to get over it.! You don't know what it's like to get up and fight every single day to live.! To want to be okay but you know you will never be okay or happy again. You don't know how it felt to have your heart ripped out of your chest. You don't know what it's like to be so deep in love with a person and they just leave you and you never get the chance to see or hear from them again because they are dead. You don't know what it's like to close your eyes and see them in the ground or even literally feel how it felt to them when they had bullets piercing through there flesh ripping it open, time after time again.! You don't fuckin know.!!! You judged me without knowing.
Magic I'm sorry....I....
Yeah well I'm sorry to lani.! I wiped my fallen tears and walked away from her. She probably knew his ass was alive too. But how could she judge me before even knowing. She didn't stop to ask was I okay or even try to counsel me after the funeral. I didn't have nobody. But everybody watched me turn into some evil monster and wanna judge me after the fact I did.!
I took a deep breath and made my way over to where the art supply stuff was. I grabbed all different types of size Canvases and so much paint. I grabbed everything on Majesty's teacher list that she said she would need for her class. My daughter deserved this. I'm so proud of her.!
I paid for my things and left the store. "Do you need any help.?!" A guy asked putting stuff in his car he was parked next to me.
No thank you.! I said looking up he looked really familiar.
Magic.? He questioned in confusement.
Carter.? Hi how are you.?! I said giving him a hug. He had the biggest smile on his face.
I'm good.! How are you.? You look amazing as always.!
Thank you.! I'm good as well. What's up oh my god I haven't see you in forever.
I know.....I thought I'd never see you again after you left high school. I'm just moving back in town. I heard you and Ya boy Martavion got married. I'm sorry for your loss.!
Thank you......
If you ever wanna talk or anything I can relate. I lost my wife last year so I know some of the pain you could be going through.
You lost yo wife.?
Yeah she got into a really bad car accident. Shit had me fucked up for months.
I bet. How you holding up now.?
Time heals and I'm just taking it day by day.!
I hear that.! You got any kids.?
Yeah I got twin girls they just turned 6 years old. I'm tryna get their mother to move here actually.
Shut up.! I got twin boys same age.! And an almost 7 year old.
Damnnn girl.! I can't believe it Martavion was not letting you go he made sure of it.! He said laughing.
No he wasn't.! I laughed. "I gotta go it was really nice seeing you.!"
You still got the same number.?
Yeah I do actually hit me up.!
Okay I will.! He leaned in for a hug and we let go. I waved bye and got in my car. I can't believe I ran into him after these years.