Mizuki POV
"By the way it seems, it looks like you like him." Akane states blantly as she tilts her head.
"Huh?" I breath out as my eyes widen and my heart beats faster. Holding onto my chest slightly tighter.
'It can't be...'
"Besides I don't see a problem with you two, you're the only one who talks to him and you would make a good match." Akane states as she scans my face.
My eyes widen as I repeat her words in my head and mumble them out. "I like him?" Cluelessly I shake my head slightly. "You mean like him as a friend?" I question causing Akane to shake her head and look at me with a 'look'.
"No, like you love him. You have this look that tells me that you're in love. Its quite clear too. Well at least to me." She rests her head in her palms as she asks me, "Don't you love him, Mizuki?" Akane speaks. Once again leaving me speechless with wide eyes as my face becomes slowly becomes hotter.
Slowly lifting my hands to hold onto my chest. "I love him? Really? Do I really look like that?" I mumble out causing the older woman to nod her head as she glances at her husband.
"You didn't know? It really looks like it to me though. Are you not in love with him?" She questions again.
"Love....Is that the feeling whenever I see him smile, this fluttering feeling that erupts in my chest. Is that why I tend to enjoy our time together more than I thought I would. The reason why I tend to smile so much when I'm around him? Is it why I feel so conflicted inside? I don't really know....Is that love Akane?" I ask like a clueless child. I was so confused and clueless about these feelings of mine.
Back in my world, I hadn't felt this way for anyone, of course I admired and favored some guys at our school. But I never had this feeling for anyone at the school either. It was a different feeling. Back then, I never was close to any guys either, just merely acquaintances or classmates.
Blinking at me, Akane nods her head. "Yes, like I said before it seems that your in love. Those things of you told me, tells me you feel that way to him. I had those feelings when it came to Yuzu." she states as Yuzu turns his head away with a red blush decorated on his cheeks.
Nodding my head, I blankly stare down at my lap. 'I'm in love with Michikatsu......I'm in love....Love.....Michikatsu......I-'
"Ahem! Well you little love sick Mizuki, don't tell me that you're not gonna marry him~ Tell me any problems you have and I'll answer them~" Akane cheers slightly as she gushes about helping me with my love life.
Though her words come in one ear and out the other. "I can't." I mumble out as I tighten my fist and my expression turns sour.
"H-huh?" Akane questions as she looks towards her husband and back at me. "Why not, Mizuki?"
Fiddling with the hem of my pants, I shake my head as I keep my gaze in the tea cup, having my reflection staring back at me. "I can't marry Michikatsu, Akane. I-" Stopping myself as my hands start to become clammy.
"Wait what do you mean?" Akane pushes further as Yuzu holds onto her shoulder as he gives her a look to stop. Feeling myself being overwhelmed with emotions, I snap.
"I just can't!! He's gonna get married to another girl." I yell slightly and realize what I had just done. Looking up to meet their surprised look, I lower my head with shame. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to. It's best that I should go now. Thank you for the hospitality." I state as I quickly get up and bow.
"Wait! Mizuki!" Akane states as she gets up and tries to reach for my hand. Turning around as I head to the door. I bow once more. "I'm really sorry for snapping like that. I don't want to become a bother to the two of you right now. I think I should organize my feelings before anything else. Thank you for today, I'll visit again." I state quickly, giving the two a small smile.
With that I pick up my sash and head out of their house. Briskly walking to the front of the yard where I left my bamboo and wood pieces, I grab it and make my way towards the forest.
I can't express how confused I feel at this moment. I feel....confused, upset, angry, and sad. All these emotions are mixed and bubbling inside of me. That warm feeling each time when I think of Michiktasu resurfaces and makes my heart hurt. "Love??? Seriously love?? I don't even know......." I mumble to myself as I rub my eyes.
Entering the forest and following the river going deeper into the forest. Finally stopping at an opening and dropping my belongings down on the ground.
Slouching against a tree, I close my eyes as I feel so conflicted and confused. "Am I really in love?" I mumble out to myself. Just sitting there under the tree with the occasional chirping of the birds ring out.
This feeling....It makes me feel all sorts of emotions towards Michikatsu. But, I never would've thought that this could be love. There's nothing for me to do with this feeling anyways. He's gonna get married to Kira Ochiro and their gonna have a family.
I clench my fists together at the thought as my heart begins to ache once more. Sighing out as I open my eyes and stare at the clouds moving and the leaves from the trees sway with the breeze. "Why does everything have to be so complicated.......I need to let these feelings go. I can't have them, they will only cause trouble for Michikatsu and his new life ahead." I mumble out as I reach out to the bamboo and wood.
Pulling out a small pocket knife from my sash, I start to cut some pieces off to make a training sword.
"It would be nice to talk to Sarah...She would've helped me through these feelings." I state as I try to carve out a handle.
___________________________
"Hahhhh." I sigh out as I plop down on the ground covered in sweat. After spending hours in the forest making my own training sword and practicing by myself. Wiping my sweat off my forehead, I look up seeing that the sun has already begun to set.
"Hah. Love...I still can't get that off my mind. But if it's not like I can ignore them forever. I can't just keep avoiding them, so I'll just have to face them on." I state to myself as I clench onto my chest.
I know no matter what, my heart and myself will end up getting hurt. But it's not like I can stay here in the forest and get killed by a demon. Getting up and picking up all my stuff, I start heading back and exit the forest.
'I wonder if they even cared if I was gone the whole day. Will Michikatsu and Sato-san be sad that I wasn't here? Will they be glad that they got rid of me?'
'I feel that these feelings don't just encompass love but the affection from my family. I miss so many things and to be honest I'm exhausted.' I think to myself as I trudge my way back 'home'.
Each step feels heavy as I continue to walk and my stomach growls slightly. Shifting my items, I hold onto my stomach. 'I probably need to cook myself something and leave it in the kitchen'
Finally standing in front of the gate of the Tsugikuni household, I push it open and peak in seeing that no one was in the front yard. Sighing lightly, I push the gate open and walk in, closing the door behind me.
Walking on the side of the house, I put some extra bamboo wood that I brought down on the ground.
"Where were you the entire day Mizuki." A stern voice speaks that causes me to flinch. Turning around I come face to face with Sato-san. "A-ah, Sato-san. I went out early this morning to help Yuzu-san with gathering water, it was in return for those vegetables that I received yesterday." I state as I avoid eye contact and shuffle slightly.
"Hmm. And that took the whole day? You missed the entire day of training too. But that's up to you, if you're gonna skip training." Sato tells me as he glances over my form and turns back towards the house.
"Hurry inside and clean yourself before you make dinner. Since you weren't here to find out, Kira Ochiro will be staying with us so Michikastu and her can acquaint themselves better before marriage."
Hearing that had made my heart drop. "Yes....I'll be in soon" I state, as I look down and bite my lip before heading inside as well.
Taking my shoes off, I start to head towards my room and hear giggles from the side of the garden. Walking towards that direction, my eyes widen as I dig my nails into my palms.
I continue to stare at the sight of Kira Ochiro smiling so lovely at Michikatsu with the remaining sunlight shinning down on her. She looked so perfect and beautiful.
Moving my attention onto Michikatsu who looked at her and slightly smiled, made my heart drop even more. My heart began to clench as I felt like my heart could be screaming. A burning feeling also began to build up within me. Biting my lip and causing it to bleed, I continued to stare at the two seeing that they looked to perfect.
'Michikatsu, doesn't even look a bit concerned or worried where I've been. He's just looking at her.'
Taking a harsh breath in, I furrow my brows as I could taste the iron from my blood. 'That's right. What did I expect from these people? To be loved and cared about? I'm just a random girl who their wife and mother took in because she pitied me.' I thought as I turned around bitterly.
'I don't belong here and this was supposed to happen anyway.....But why did I have to fall in love?' I question, quickly walking away as I find my room and slam the door behind me.
Grabbing my clean clothes in a rush as well as the things I need. I make my way through the house and slip through the shower room. Locking the door behind me I place my clothes down as I filled the basin with warm water.
Once I was done prepping my bath, I began to wash myself, aimlessly staring at the wall in front of me.
"Damn it..." I finally mumble out as I dunk clean water over my head, having the water run down my back and face. "I really am hopeless. Weak. Foolish." I mumble out as images of Kira and Michikatsu flash through my head again.
"Ah ha hahhh." I chuckle sarcastically, remembering what Akane told me earlier during the day.
"If this is love, I really don't like this feeling." I breathlessly state as I push my hair back out of my face as I get up to dry myself.
_____________
"Mizuki, where were you the entire day?" Michikatsu asks as I sat down after setting down the food down on the table.
Not even glancing at him, I grab a bowl and start to fill it with rice. "I had a job to do in the village." I state as I place the rice bowl down and grab another.
"I see....." Michikatsu replys back as I could feel his gaze on me. "Did you have a lot to do since you left to early in the morning and didn't come back till the evening?" Kira asks politely as I look up and pass her a rice bowl.
Forcing a smile, I nod my head. "Yes, I had lots to work on and figure out by myself. It was quite nice and a change of things" I say as I look back down to continue what I was doing.
Once I was done with the rice, I got up to my seat and sat down as I started to grab my own food. Deciding that I shouldn't care, I would just eat here. Keeping my eyes on my bowl, I eat quickly as I can.
Dinner was filled with an awkward silence instead of the warm and comfortable feeling from normal dinners. Eating the last bit of food in my bowl, I got up and excused myself. "I'll be excusing myself first. When you're done with dinner, I'll come and clean up." I state as I take my dish.
"Ah it's okay, Mizuki-san. You worked hard all day, so the least I can do is clean up. Besides I'll be doing that from now on." Kira states making my heart clench yet again. Looking at her who smiles at me reassuringly causes me to force a smile once again and nod my head.
"Well then, please let me know if you need assistance." I say as I go to the kitchen to clean my own dishes. Once done I quickly leave the kitchen and make my way through the back of the garden, going out to the front to pick up my poorly made bamboo sword to put in Yoriichi's room.
As I walked there I stopped at the training spot in the yard and picked up the medal practice sword. Feeling the weight in my hand, I do a couple practice swings as I furrow my brows.
'Perhaps I need to increase my physical training to make the sword flow better.' I think to myself as I walk back to Yoriichi's old room.
Entering, I place down the two swords off to the side as I wipe down the small room. Picking up the bamboo sword, I place it under the small desk and pick up the medal sword.
Leaving the room, I stand outside where moon and stars appear in the sky. Finding myself gazing up at the moon, I could feel my heart clench in distaste.
"Hahhhh." I sigh out trying to calm myself down from all my jumbled and boiling emotions. Lifting up the medal sword seeing it gleam under the moon light, I stare at it as I get into position and listen to the wind blow.
Closing my eyes, I imagine myself in a situation fighting demons, deciding to choose a scene from the anime, putting myself in Tanjiro's shoes. 'I don't have a teacher like Urokodaki-san and neither do I know any other demon slayers. The best thing I can do in this instance is know how to fight back without dying.' I think to myself as the wind shakes the wooden boards of the room.
Sliding my foot forward, I take a deep breath as I slash through the air. Constantly moving my body, I dodge, I kick, and cut down the demons in my mind.
Hearing a crunch to the left of me, I swing my sword. Feeling resistance and the clash against my sword, I open my eyes.
"Michikatsu?" I speak out as my eyes widen and take in his form. Seeing his medal sword clash with mine as my sword was inches away from his neck, if it wasn't for his own sword, I would've injured him quite badly.
"So this is where you were." Michikatsu bluntly stated as he gazed over my form. Calming my heart down, I lower my sword as I give him a look. "Why are you here?" I ask as tighten my grip on my sword.
"I should be the one asking you that. Why train here when you can train where we normally do together?" he questions as he too lowers his sword and looks at me. Turning my head away from him, I find myself gazing at the growing flower weed that sprouted near Yoriichi's old room.
"It's nice here....Quiet, serene, and nobody can bother me here. Its a place where I'm able to keep to myself and clear my head. I like to personally train here by myself here where I can't be bothered." I emphasize as I glance back at him who widened his eyes and soon went back to normal.
"I see...." he replies back as the awkward silence comes over, only the sound of the wind and nature around us could be heard.
Deciding to break the silence, I sigh out , "So what are you doing here?" I ask as look at him. "I was training by myself and wondered if you wanted to join me. So I went looking for you as you weren't in your room." He told me as he gazed at me.
"I see. Well I apologize, I'd like to practice by myself tonight. Have a good night Michikatsu." I state as I starting to walk towards the weed that I stared at early. Bending down, I decide to pluck it out of the ground.
".......Its alright." I hear from him and shuffling in the back.
"But." I hear him speak up once more as I turn around to see that he was only a foot away from me. Widening my eyes, I take a step back as my heart started to beat a little faster. "Why are you acting so different? Why are you acting so distant from me? You never weren't like this yesterday. Did something happen? Mizuki-"
Seeing him reach out his hand towards me, I push it away, making his eyes widen once more. "Look Michikatsu, I-......I need time to figure some things out okay? Its hard on me right now when I'm trying to get things under control." I reply back after I take another step back and clench my hand which I pushed him away with.
Seeing him retract his hand and place it beside him. Michikatsu walked back. "Okay, I see. Let me know if you want to talk about it." he tells me in return as he gazes over my face and turns around.
"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." He bids me as he walks away. Seeing his figure disappear, I slouch down into the ground as I hold onto my chest. "Stop beating. Stop beating. You can't feel this way......You stupid Mizuki." I mumble to myself as I hit my chest.
"I need to calm down..." I mumble out once again feeling my face feel a little heated. Standing up, I ruffle my hair in frustration. "Ahhhh! How annoying! Now I need to refocus so I can do total concentration breathing again! And I was just prepping myself for my technique too." I grumble out as I shift the sword in my hand.
'I need to get these feelings under control.....I'm such an idiot aren't I?..'
______________________
Hoped you all enjoyed this chapter! As usual comment, vote, and enjoy this book! I love reading all your comments and receiving all of your support~<3
If you all haven't already, check out my other books! Stay safe everyone!
Miya~