Songs: Killshot (slow + reverb) by Magdelena Bay & All For Us by Labrinth and Zendaya {these two songs I have been playing on repeat while writing this book so it's literally Armena} I also wrote this whole chapter listening to my playlist so really any song works.
A.N: I apologize for any frustrations you have when reading this chapter. Trust me I felt them too and ten fold, but like I said, this is slow fucking burn! If I was Armena, I would be dying right now too. Just a warning you will go through all the emotions in this chapter. I have to say, this is my favorite chapter so far.
Enjoy ;)
*****
Armena Riddle-Lestrange
Thursday: October 2nd, 2010
Two whole days, forty eight hours, one flat in mother fucking Paris— where it begin ten years ago.
That's what I kept repeating to my head as we apparated in front of an ornate, classic french style building. I felt Draco's hand rest on the small of my back as he ushered me forward into the marble lobby of the apartment building.
"Bonjour, monsieur Malfoy" a tall and lanky Frenchman greeted Draco.
"Bonjour" Draco responded with a curt nod.
The small French man stepped aside and waved his hand to the lift. It was small, painted all in a rich and creamy white. There was golden detailing on the accordion metal door and little cherubs in the four corners. I stepped inside, clutching my weekend bag close to my chest. Draco stepped in and pressed the top button, while the doorman closed us in.
"Cosy" he smirked, biting his cheek.
I rolled my eyes and looked towards the ground. I couldn't dare meet his grey, my knickers would be soaked in a matter of seconds if I did. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. For what felt like hours, we kept going up and up until the lift finally dinged, signaling that we were finally there.
I didn't know what to expect out of Draco but his flat in Paris was definitely the complete opposite of Malfoy Manor, in every sense of the word.
It was bright and airy. There were sheer white curtains that decorated each tall double door that lead onto an expansive terrace. Two green velvet tufted sofas, similar to the ones that used to reside at Lestrange Manor, were sitting across from each other while a white painted ornate fireplace stood between them against the wall. The whole room was angelic and open. Modern appliances were scattered throughout the open kitchen and there was a grand black metal spiral staircase that led upstairs to other rooms I assumed.
I watched as Draco took my bag and walked down the long hall, I felt myself take in a deep breath before I hesitated and followed him.
"I figured you would want your own room" he smirked, as I stepped into the bright space.
The room was similar to the one I just left. There was a white, sleigh style, queen sized bed with a fluffy white duvet folded neatly at the end. A green velvet chair sat in the corner, next to a large double door that led out onto a secluded private terrace. Draco took my weekend bag and set it down on the chair, moving to open the glass door. It creaked open and a rush of cool fall air blew in. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, unwrapping the scarf around my neck. I set down my scarf and jacket on the bed, straightening out my cream jumper. I watched as Draco pulled the white gauze curtains closed and moved to walk out of the room.
"My room is just down the hall and to the left" I could hear his smirk in his voice, "If you need anything, but I wanted you to settle first."
I turned around and bit my lip, my green eyes meeting his grey.
"Thank you" I breathed.
He smacked the door softly and gave me a smirk before leaving me alone. I plopped down onto the bed. My body laying in a cross position with my arms outstretched wide. I closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds of the quiet street below. I could hear the whispers of people speaking in French tongues, the sounds of a troubadour playing on the street corner, and children's giggles in the park across the way.
It was divine and it put me into a deep slumber.
By the time I woke up, it was pitch black dark out. I had to blink a few times to understand my bearings. My body was curled up into a tight ball and I was tucked under the fluffy covers. I felt like I was in a cloud.
I didn't remember ever moving in my sleep.
I shook my head and sat up, my hands grabbing at the white duvet on top of me. I looked around the room, remembering where I was.
I was in Paris, with Draco Malfoy.
I climbed out of bed and slipped off my clothes, I always hated wearing my travel clothes. I rummaged through my weekend bag, pulling out an emerald green sweater and a pair of black muggle jeans. I slipped on the clothes and ran my fingers through my waves. I picked up my wand and cast a refreshing charm over my body, hoping that it would make me look better than I felt. To my surprise, when I looked into the antique mirror, my eyes were bright and I looked well rested. I took a deep breath, setting down my wand on the mantle of the white hearth and opened the door.
I was bombarded with the smell of garlic, basil, onions and fresh tomatoes. There was soft music playing in the background, some sort of muggle tune that one would hear in a coffee shop.
"You're awake," Draco called from the kitchen.
I stepped into the living room, revealing myself to my host. Draco was leaning against the grand marble countertop, stirring a large silver pot.
"I didn't know you could cook?" I found myself asking as I walked forward.
He handed me a glass of red wine, which I accepted thankfully. I watched him as he ran his tongue against his cheek, trying to hold back a smirk. It was still a look that sent butterflies to my stomach.
"I picked it up a few years ago" he placed the clear glass cover on the pot. "I don't do it nearly as often as I should, but I figured tonight we could stay in since you seemed exhausted."
"Oh..." I breathed, taking a sip of my wine.
"You were out cold when I came back into check on you. Didn't even flinch when I put you in bed" he smirked, moving back to the opposite counter.
He tucked me in.
I took in a deep breath and looked around the flat. It looked different in the nighttime, it was still bright but the lights were set low. Various candles were lit throughout, which created a glow around the room. The curtains were drawn but billowing, as the cool fall breeze pushed at them. I could see the lights of the eiffel tower in the background, as it twinkled and sparkled in the dark night air. The room had an aura to it— it was completely romantic.
If this was the old Draco and I, we would be naked on this marble countertop in a matter of seconds. We wouldn't even get to the cooking part of the evening, he would have me for dessert right then and there. But this wasn't the old Draco and I— this was the new us and he was courting me. I shook my head at the thought as I gazed up at him.
Draco Malfoy was trying to court me.
He was trying to prove to me that he was worthy of my heart, body and soul. Little did he know, he already had all of those things.
I took another sip of my wine, lifting myself up onto the cool marble countertop. I crossed my right leg over the left and leaned back to look at the handsome, tall and utterly perfect man across from me. He was dressed in a pair of black pants and a black turtleneck. The sleeves of his shirt were pushed up, exposing his slightly faded dark mark. I wondered if he ever thought about why it never faded. He had to know that once the Dark Lord was destroyed, the mark would turn into nothing but little faded white scars. Yet, there it was— in all of it's glory with a matching one right on my arm.
How would I explain it to him if he ever saw it? Not that I would give him the chance to see me without clothes, but he had to be curious as to why I only wore long sleeves, even in the blistering heat summer.
"I hope you like Italian" he smirked, his lips lopsided on his face. "It's the only thing I know how to properly cook, anyways."
"Italian is fine."
Fuck.
Pansy was right and I hated her for it. I know for a fact that I was going to find it hard to keep my knickers on for these forty eight hours.
He walked over to me, setting his glass down onto the counter. I watched as he lifted the lid on the pot, the wooden spoon stirring the cherry red sauce. I let out a low hum, as I inhaled the sweet scent. The smell of garlic and basil filled my nostrils. My senses were screaming with delight.
Draco let out a low chuckle as he watched me. I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks flush the same color as the sauce below. Draco's eyes darted to my bottom lip, his tongue reaching out to his own at the same time. I released my lip, turning my attention to the glass of ruby red wine in my hands. I took a large gulp, feeling the wine go straight to my head. It wasn't smart of me to drink on an empty stomach but when in Rome, or should I say Paris.
"Here" he smirked, dipping the wooden spoon into the sauce.
He held it up to my lips and I took it without a second thought. It was absolutely delicious, I swear that I had never tasted anything so delectable in my entire existence. I let out a hum, closing my eyes to savor the rich flavor. There was a hint of truffle in the sauce with the aftertaste. He pulled away the spoon, a small bit dripping on my chin. I was about to lift my hand when he stopped me.
"Let me..." his eyes focused on my lips.
His thumb delicately stroked off the sauce, grazing my bottom lip in the process. I let out a sharp gasp, as he pulled away his thumb, bringing it to his own mouth. I gripped onto the edge of the counter tightly as he sucked on his thumb, releasing it with a pop. I felt my core clench as my thighs squeezed together tightly. He stepped forward slightly, almost like he was going to move into do something but he stopped himself. I watched as his brow furrowed slightly, as if he was battling with his own thoughts.
The sound of the water boiling broke us out of our moment.
Draco went over to the boiling water and placed the pasta into the pot. I moved off the counter, grabbing my wine in one hand. I walked over to one of the opened doors and stepped outside onto the terrace, it felt cool and smelt like fall. I took the chance to close my eyes and breathe in the delicious scent of the fresh Parisian air. The view from his flat was magnificent, you could see everything for miles.
I let my mind wander for one second, thinking about all of the what ifs and whens? If Pansy and I found somewhat around this Vow, would Draco and I be able to be together? What if he gained his memories back? Would he hate me? He probably would murder me. Maybe I could ask Pansy to take away my memories and we could start fresh?
With one last intake of air, I turned back around and moved back into the flat. Draco was still pouring the steaming water and pasta into a colander, the foggy smoke rising to the ceiling.
"Just in time" I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Here, sit."
He pulled out his wand from his back pocket and waved it over the table. Two placemats, plates, and silverware all appeared. Draco took the pasta and placed them onto the plate, topping them off with his homemade pasta sauce. He brought his fingers to his lips and kissed them.
"Bon appetit!" he smirked.
I couldn't help but let a giggle escape my lips as I settled down onto the stool. I placed my glass of wine down and he topped it off, slightly over pouring.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" I smirked.
"I would never do that, Armena" he shook his head. "I mean unless you wanted me to get you drunk, well then that's a completely different story."
"I didn't know if you wanted me to lose all inhibitions" I smirked, "you know start singing at the top of my lungs."
"Now that would be quite a show, wouldn't it?" he moved around the counter, sitting down next to me.
I took a sip from my glass and looked at him through the sides of my eyes. He was staring directly at me, his grey eyes boring into the side of my face.
"I have to say this is a first for me" he smirked, twirling his fork around on his plate.
"What do you mean?" I turned to face him, crossing my left leg over my right.
"Well, I feel like everything with you is a first. We have known each other for what—"
"Six months" I blurted out, biting my lip after the words poured out of my mouth.
Not that I was counting.
I felt the heat flush into my cheeks. The tips of my ears slightly burning with the embarrassment of my words.
"Six months" he smirked, "I have known you for six months and this is the slowest I have ever moved with a women. It's very— it's very refreshing to do this."
It was true. The Draco that I knew, back when we were teenagers, moved dangerously quick. I remembered that day in Hagrid's class when we almost ripped each other's clothes off on the forest floor. We had only known each other for weeks and we slept with each other for the first time only a few short days after that. Our relationship was always hot and heavy, there was no denying that, but I guess we always just knew that it was the right one. We were right for each other.
Two perfect puzzle pieces fitting together.
"When I first met my wife, Astoria—"
I flinched at the mention of her name. I prayed that he didn't see my discomfort because I wanted him to continue.
"I married her within six months and we welcomed a child shortly after" he sighed, sipping his wine. "Not that I regret it but, over the past year since her death, I have wondered if I was too quick with her. If there was someone else out there it would have been better for me. I suppose it's not the end of the world, I can always get married again but I have just wondered if it was the right choice."
I felt my breath hitch in my chest as he spoke about his feelings towards his late wife. I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to grab his face and plant a thousand kisses on him. I wanted to tell him that I was right here, I was right here in front of him and I used to be the one he loved.
I didn't because I couldn't.
"I have noticed something with you" he starts, "you always get uncomfortable when I mention love or relationships? Why is that? I mean if you don't mind me asking."
I cleared my throat and picked up my fork, playing with my pasta.
"I was once head over heels in love with someone. Honestly..." I glanced over at him, meeting his grey eyes, "I still am."
I looked like a circuit had tripped inside of his head. Like a fuse had flipped the switch and rebooted because in that moment I watched his eyes flicker with something that I had seen before— recognition. I thought for he would blink and blurt out my name but he didn't, he just shook his head and took a sip of his wine.
"What happened?" he asked.
I swallowed, taking in a deep breath. How the fuck was I supposed to answer this question. Wasn't this the million dollar question?
"He um, well—"
Fuck.
"We can say he died in a way" I sighed, it was a shitty lie but I couldn't tell him the truth.
"I'm sorry" he sounded sincere but I didn't want to look at him.
I didn't want to look at the ghost from my past.
"Don't be it was a long time ago. I have done the best that I can over the years. I have picked up the pieces that came crumbling down when he left and I have done pretty well for myself. I am proud of who I have become, I wouldn't change that for the world."
There was an awkward moment of silence. The record player started to skip it's track, the sound of a broken record ringing in the air. I set down my fork, taking a giant sip of wine. I turned my body so that I was now facing Draco. I leaned my elbow against the marble countertop and rested my head in my hand. I raised my hand over to the record player and flicked my fingers, turning it over in my hand and then setting it back down. It reminded me of that time in Professor Snape's office, the first day I had detention with him.
The muggle music began to fill the air again, setting them mood. I couldn't help but listen to the words. The gospel-like singer was talking about how he was doing it all for love. Wasn't that what I was doing?
I was doing it all for love. I was doing it all for us.
"Armena" he breathed, "I have never been this patient with anyone before but for you..."
His fingers reached out to my knee, lightly grazing up the fabric of my jeans. I took in a sharp breath, feeling my body explode with the need for pleasure and desire.
"When you want something so badly but you can't have it, like when it is at the tips of your fingers..." his hand moved up slowly, moving to my hand and then up to elbow. He was ghosting along my skin, ever so carefully.
"But you can't touch" I breathed, flickering my eyes to his.
He was breathing heavily, his silver eyes bright and full of lust. I watched as he debated to go further, I was almost positive he was going to pull me into him. Yet, much to my disbelief, like everything in our fucked up relationship, he pulled away from me and brought his wine up to his lips. I took in a shaky breath, trying to hide my disappointment.
"Precisely, I won't touch you until I know—" he paused, "until I know that you fully want me and there are no reservations. You might be good at hiding your true feelings, but your body tells me a different story. I want your mind, body and soul. Not just one or the other, it has to be all or nothing at all. I won't touch you until I know I can have all of you."
I blinked at him, positive that my mouth was agape, but I didn't care.
Fucking hell.
"It's getting late and we have an early day tomorrow" he breathed, standing up. "You should get to bed."
With a wave of his wand the plates, dishes, cups and wine all disappeared, leaving a sparkling white countertop. I shook my head in disbelief, still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. I stood up, following him back towards the bedroom.
There was only one thing on my mind right now and that was him.
I wanted so badly to ask him to stay with me, to hold me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I stopped at my doorway, glancing to my bed and then back at him. His grey eyes were milky, filled with desire and need. I knew my emerald green would be reflecting the same sentiment. He reached his hand up and tucked back a stand of hair that had fallen, I expected him to pull away but instead his hand reached around to the back of my neck and his lips pressed against my forehead.
"Sweet dreams, Armena" he breathed against my skin. "I know I will be dreaming about you."
*****
I was wishing that I had a vial of dreamless sleep right about now because all I could do that night was toss and turn in bed. Even if I tried to sleep, I would wake up in a puddle of sweat.
My dreams were nightmares.
It was almost as Draco had jinxed it, because every time I closed my eyes, I would see my dead uncle, mother, my favorite professor and my lover's father dead— dead in pools of endless crimson blood.
I wondered if Draco was sleeping right now? I wondered if his brow was furrowed in his sleep like it used to do when we were teenagers? I wondered if Draco was dreaming of me?
"Bloody hell..." I groaned, flattening my body on the bed.
I waved my hand through the air, the time floating in front of me like a cloud of smoke.
4:00 A.M.
I let out a groan as I sat up in bed and looked around. It was a big enough flat that if I wandered around, I wouldn't wake Draco up. That was the last thing I wanted. I didn't need to see a sleepy, ruffled haired Draco with his pajamas hanging low on his hips. I mean I wanted it, fuck I wanted to pounce on that Draco— but I knew if he whispered to me one more fucking time, I was about to explode.
I was like a ticking time bomb.
I was a sexually deprived, deeply in love and dying to be with the one person I couldn't be with ticking time bomb. As I wandered down the dark halls, I was praying there was a portrait of Narcissa Malfoy, so I could burn her canvas and relish in the fact.
I stopped in the darkly lit living room, glancing around. Draco really didn't get the chance to give me a tour of his penthouse apartment. Even in the moonlight, the parisian apartment was bright and airy. I wondered if he bought this for Astoria? He said he got it last year and Astoria died, if I am correct, sometime in the fall. So was this apartment pre or post Astoria Greengrass Malfoy?
I let out a long breath as I turned to a closed door off to the far wall near the kitchen. My curiosity got the best of me as I walked slowly towards the door. I pushed on the crystal door knob, letting the white lacquered door swing open. It was a study, decorated completely opposite than the rest of the apartment.
"This is where all the Death Eatery vibes have been hiding" I smirked, mumbling to myself.
The walls were a deep emerald green, Draco's favorite color, and there was a deep mahogany bookcase lining the walls. In front of the bookcase, stood a matching desk. It was long and thick, almost filling the entire room with it's size. A high backed tufted leather chair sat in the far corner, next to a large door that led onto the balcony of the apartment.
Much to my dismay, there were no portraits of Narcissa Malfoy, but there were several photographs.
I walked towards the bookcase, glancing at the various photographs. I shook my head as I stared at the photographs. Many of them I recognized from our eighth year at Hogwarts, there was a gap where my body should have been. I felt my breath hitch in my chest, as I clasped my hand over my mouth. I felt the hot tears start to threaten to burst out of my eyes.
I was completely erased from every single one.
I was removed from his life completely where there wasn't even a trace of me in the background. I knew that this was the case but I had never seen it before, not in ten years. I felt the hot tears drop onto my hand, as I made my way down the line.
His wedding photo with Astoria, looking at her adoringly. A photo of him holding Scorpius as a small infant, probably only a few hours old, a wide and toothy grin across Draco's face. A picture of him, Astoria, Potter and Pansy all sitting around at a local pub. A picture of him, baby Josette and Blaise on her first birthday. A picture of him and his mother, one where he was looking at her dotingly. A picture of Blaise, Oliver, Naomi, Pansy and him at the Three Broomsticks. A photo of them in the common room, all squished together on the couch, Draco standing behind looking off into nothing and resting his hand on what should of been my hand. A photo of Blaise, Oliver, Draco and an awkward empty space where I would have been.
A sharp gasp escaped out of my mouth as I continued to make my way. My eyes constantly drawling to one thing, one tiny thing that I couldn't help but notice. The most shocking thing was the fact that in every single photo, our souls sat on his pinky finger in that little emerald ring he stole here in Paris. The ring he promised his life, body and soul to me with. The ring he told me that one day would be replaced with a sparkling diamond on my left hand.
I stepped back, resting my body on the expensive wooden desk. My fingers gripped the underside of the wood, feeling the smoothness against my skin. I let out a long sigh, feeling my chest pick up as panic rushed through me.
What was I doing?
What was I doing here?
Pansy and I made a promise all those years ago. We made a promise that we would do everything to keep him safe and yet here I was in Paris with him.
"Armena, you are not alone in this. Whatever you are feeling, let us help you. Give that burden to one of us to help you carry. You can't do this alone and you know it" she rested her hand on my leg.
"I know I can't do this alone but I can't ask you to sacrifice everything either" I turned my head to look at her.
"The thing is— we are already in it. We are all still here aren't we? Did you really think we were staying because we thought mummy Lestrange was so big and scary? No, we are all here because of you. No matter what happens, if you tell us to jump then we will. Whatever you need, we won't ask questions. Just promise me one thing—" she paused.
I shook my head, my eyes glancing down at my hands. I carefully traced the emerald green stone lightly, feeling a bit of warmth spread over me like a hug. The stone reminded me that I had Draco, that Draco was mine and I was his.
"Go on?" I smirked.
"If you are going to murder your mummy Lestrange, then can I be the one to do it?" She asked.
I shook my head again, rolling my eyes. I walked over to the credenza, pulling out a bottle of very expensive whiskey. I put the bottle to my lips and took a sip, letting the liquor pour down my throat. I embraced the burn like an old friend.
"Pansy? " I asked, meeting her dark eyes.
I knew what I was about to ask of her. I knew this would be the most difficult thing that anyone has ever asked her to do. I knew that this would be the most burdensome task that I asked of a friend but I needed her help. I couldn't do this alone. I couldn't bear all of this burden alone but most importantly, I had to make sure that my friends all stayed safe during the next few days. I knew exactly what I had to do and it killed me inside.
"Pansy, I need you to help me do something and you are not going to like it."
"I already know what you are going to ask. Blaise asked me if I could do it yesterday. Blaise and Oliver have both told me about his claims" Pansy sighed, looking up at me with sympathetic eyes. "Have you heard about them too?"
"He's mentioned it once or twice but I wasn't sure how serious. What do you think?" I asked the dark haired girl in front of me, handing her the bottle of firewhiskey.
"I know him Armena, I have seen him and I have seen him with you. He's not the same boy he was a year ago. He's not the same boy to run and hide when things get scary. He's not the same boy who screams that his father will hear about this" she smirked, bringing the liquor to her lips. "He's changed and you changed him, so I think whatever it is that he's claiming— it's not something to take lightly."
"My uncle wants me to write to Narcissa" I sighed, grabbing the bottle out of her hands. He said she would help but he's being very— discrete about it. What do you think I should do?"
"Narcissa is very protective over her only son. I mean like any mother should but it's different . If she was to hear about what he is claiming, she would go to great lengths. Dangerous lengths to protect him. You know this, Armena."
I threw my heads down into my hands, feeling the hot tears spill out of me.
"If it comes down to it, Pans" I refused to look at her, "If he kills me tomorrow or if I go fully dark and become just like him. You either have to kill me or make Draco forget about me. Do whatever you have to do because if I do this— if I bring back my father, then I can't go back to the way I was. I have seen the prophecies, and as much as I hate that nonsense, it's very convincing when you watch your friends be ripped to shreds by your own hands. If I go through this, then I am going to have to destroy myself and if I survive— well, the Auror's will be here quicker than you can say Azkaban. Then after that, with my mothers blood rage, her use of my wand, my rage and darkness I will receive the Dementor's kiss."
"You really think that will happen? I mean the darkness, the kiss, the blood rage?"
"I know it will."
"So I have to do it? I have to obliviate, Draco?" Pansy sighed, "I mean what if Narcissa—"
"You really think she is going to let her son live the life of a criminal and pine after a dark witch? She won't, I am not what she envisions for her son. No, she will find some way to keep us apart. She has already seen what Draco will do for me."
"Have you talked to Naomi yet?"
"Not yet, I will talk to her tonight after I see Draco for the last time. You should talk to Blaise and Ollie then as well so they are informed. Then we will meet at Malfoy Manor around five in the morning."
"I don't trust her, Narcissa— that is," Pansy sighed, crossing her arms. "I have such an awful feeling about this meeting."
"Trust me I do too, but I have to protect Draco. Pansy, I love him but I can't lose him."
I opened my eyes, feeling the hot tears wash down my face. I rubbed my hands over my face aggressively. I glanced out of the large window, the early morning sun was starting to rise casting a deep rouge and auburn color in the sky. What was that muggle saying? Red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky in the morning sailors warning.
This was definitely a warning.
*****
Draco and I walked down the street silently as we made our way to Cimetière du Père-Lachaise. I had begged him that it wasn't necessary that he should accompany me to my uncle's funeral but he insisted and was quite relentless. I glanced over to him, my eyes trailing down his attire. He was dressed in a black dress coat, two golden ornate buttons resisting at his waist. He had a black button down under, his Malfoy pin safely fastened to the lepel of his shirt. I let out a long sigh as I clutched the bouquet of blood red roses that Draco insisted that we bring.
We entered through the gates, stepping onto the sacred ground of the cemetery. I glanced around at the various plots, tombs and mausoleums of ancient wizarding families. One of the first mausoleums was Allard, it was a bright white grey roman style building that houses all of the bodies of the Allard family. It made me think of Oliver and Naomi, I felt a slight twinge in my heart as I missed my dear friends. Draco caught my gaze and followed it to the Allard family plot.
"His family and mine are quite close," Draco sighed, "I went to school with him and his now wife. You might know them? They used to work in the Ministry."
I shook my head, not daring to open my blood red lips. I stared down at my black leather boots that were peaking out from under my long black cloak. We kept walking down the stone path in silence, until we reached the monstrosity that was my family's tomb.
We were an old family, long lines of us that branched and intertwined violently throughout France and England. This mausoleum had a lot of history. It was once the spot of Gellert Grindelwald's Paris rally back in 1927.
See— darkness always follows me.
An old squib, with a hunched back, was waiting at the black rod iron gates of the mausoleum. I presumed he was the caretaker of the cemetery. I nodded my head in on swift motion to the man, who returned a snaggle tooth grin, filled with rotten teeth. It reminded me of the teeth of the many prisoners of Azkaban.
"Madam Lestrange" the caretaker nodded his head. "We have been expecting you."
He pushed open the iron gates, revealing the grey stone room. Light was streaming in from above, casting an angelic glow over the intricately carved stone figure of a woman laying on top of a stone casket. Her robes were draped over her carefully and her left hand was outstretched to one side, while the other was placed over her waist. The last time I was here, in this room, was when I attended my mothers funeral— which turned out to be a bunch of trickery and illusions considering she was still very much alive.
I turned around to the squib, taking a deep breath. I nodded my head once, keeping it low as he backed out of the tomb. We had a very specific funeral that we performed in the Lestrange family; one that many were not privy to. I raised my head and turned to Draco who was glancing at all the various names lined up on the wall.
"Is this where?" he asked.
"No" I breathed.
The drawers didn't house bodies. No, they housed each witch and wizard's individual wand. Many of these drawers housed dark objects and their own personal artifacts of the specific witch and wizard that they belonged to. I knew exactly where my drawer was located and the family spell that was used to unlock it. I used to know what I would place in that drawer once I passed but now I wasn't quite sure.
"It's big..." Draco's voice echoed in the stone entrance.
"It's very Lestrange" I smirked, my hand tracing over the stone statue in the middle. "Don't you think?"
"Yes, I would have to agree" he turned around smirking at me. "Now what?"
"Now we say our goodbyes," I sighed, "as a member of the Lestrange family, and the last living member of the family, I have performed several spells that are specific to my family. It is said that once I preform these spells the sprit can fully pass over. It's a little quirky and not many have seen it, so I would hope that you would-—"
"I promise whatever weird voodoo spell you perform here— in this mausoleum is safe with me. I won't tell the Malfoy's I promise" he smirked, biting his cheek.
"Do I have your word?" I tilted my head to one side, only slightly joking.
"Do you want me to take an Unbreakable Vow?"
I flinched slightly, turning my head. He noticed my discomfort immediately and walked up to me. He placed his hand on my arm, his thumb lightly stroking me.
"Sorry, I forgot," he sighed, "You know about the sensitive subject and all."
You have no fucking idea.
I let out a long sigh and walked over to a blank wall, The stone wall housed the Lestrange family crest, it was carved intricately into the cold grey stone. Our family crest was unique. There were two ornate 'L's', that were placed with their backs to each other. They sat in the middle of the stone, with five diamond's resting on the top. At the very top of the diamonds, sat a crow, with its talons clutching onto the diamonds. The french words were inscribed underneath the familial crest: corvus oculum corvi non eruit.
"Un jeu différent" Draco read, tilting his head. "A different game?"
"Precisely, it refers to a quote by Procrustes Lestrange who was telling his son how to defeat his enemies. If I recall from my history, and past lessons, he told him that 'you can't lose if you are playing a different game'. My uncle, Rodolphus Lestrange, used to tell me that all the time."
I felt a twinge of sadness rush over me, as I thought about my uncle, the same one who we were here to bury in the catacombs below. I pulled out my wand and waved it over my hand, creating a perfect slash over my skin. The crimson blood began to pour out of my palm, reminding me of that time ten years ago at the Lestrange family home. I shook my head and brought my hand up to the wall, placing my blood over the two 'L's'. I stepped back, my back bumping into Draco's torso. He placed his hands on my hips to steady me as he stared gawkingly at the magical stone wall.
I watched them intertwine, preforming a sort of dance as the stone became enchanted. The stone crow began to flap its wings, as the wall opened up to us. I rolled my neck and picked back up the roses, begging my trek down into the Lestrange catacombs. The sconces on the wall began to light up in green flames as Draco and I walked silently down winding stone spiral staircase. I stopped at the base, listening to the sound of water dripping down the walls in the background.
Suck it up Armena, you have to do this.
I took a deep breath, breathing out through my nose. I stepped forward, watching as the room lit up as the flames raced around the walls, changing from a dark green to a golden yellow. In the middle of the room stood a giant statue of a man, with long stone hair and a beard to match. He wore long stone wizarding robes with a stone wand tucked under his arm. It was surrounded by six large stone tombs with matching carvings on the top of the lid, an exact replica of the wizard that was buried under the stone. These center tombs were reserved for the original male heir wizards of the Lestrange family. The rest of the tombs, of the other Lestrange's, were placed tucked in the wall in endless rows, embedded deep in the stone of the catacomb. I walked forward, passing by the various stone tombs. I waved my wand over the center Lestrange wizard, watching as he spun around until he was deep in the ground. I waved my hand over to the wall where our side of the Lestrange family was to always be buried, muttering the incantations under my breath. Rodolphus' stone coffin floated over, landing softly on the stone platform. I looked over my shoulder, making sure that Draco was still with me and had not run off utterly terrified.
"You're still here" I smirked.
"This is fascinating, the Malfoy plot is nothing like this" he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck stepping forward.
"Un jeu différent" I smirked.
"I couldn't agree more" he chuckled, "you are a different game, Lestrange."
I bit my lip as I stared into his grey eyes. Watching as the light from the sconces danced on his sharp features. I let out a deep breath and turned towards my uncle's coffin. I raised my wand to the stone, muttering simple spells. The heavy stone lifted, levitating up above our heads. I took a deep breath.
"Show time" I hissed.
I stepped up on the platform, resting my hip on the lip of the stone. I leaned into the tomb and looked at my uncle, he looked so peaceful and so much older than I last remembered. I have seen many of my family members do this many times before, while I sat far on the outskirts. I had never preformed this part of our family's funeral. I have never accessed his memories and sealed a coffin before but I was the only living Lestrange heir. I stroked his cold cheek, brushing away a stray black hair. I rested my palm on his face, closing my eyes. I felt the warm tears start to pour down my face as all of the memories of my childhood and him rushed into my mind. Flashes and flashes of his memories poured into my own.
It was almost too much. It was too much, as different emotions rolled through me.
You have grown into such a lovely young woman, Armena.
His voice echoed into my ears. I tried so hard to hold it together, I tried so hard to keep my emotions at bay until I was in the safety of my own room. I had to, I had to be strong.I opened my eyes, letting out a deep breath. I dropped my hand from the stone cold face and clawed to the edge of the tomb. I picked up his wand that was resting on his chest and stepped back.
"Rest well uncle" I whispered, I leaned forward my lips kissing his cold cheek.
I stepped back and raised my wand up to the ceiling. I watched as the plain stone lid lowered down onto the tomb. In an instant, my uncle's figure appeared raised into a perfect stone carving on top of the heavy lid. I placed an enchantment over the stone, watching as waves of golden magic coated and then settled into the stone. It would protect his body from any unwanted vandals who were successful in breaking past the wards or any disgruntled relative. I waved my wand again, watching as the grave floated back into its place in the wall, resting peacefully under my other uncle, Rabastan Lestrange.
"Do you want to say your respects to anyone else?" he asked.
The moment he muttered those words, I felt my lungs start to constrict as the room started to close in on me. Out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn that I saw my mother standing there with a wicked grin on her face. I felt my breath pick up as I turned around to Draco, wiping away a stray tear. He ran his hand over his mouth, looking around the room. I shook my head, looking down towards the stone ground. I fidgeted around with Rodolphus' wand, twirling it around in my hand.
"Right" he muttered.
I walked forward, brushing past him and not giving a second thought as the chill ran up my spine. I needed to get out of here. I quickened my pace, taking three steps at a time as I bursted through the stone door into the foyer of the Lestrange Mausoleum. I quickly waved my wand over Rodolphus artifact drawer, placing his wand in the ornate box and letting it float back up to the highest row. I turned around on my heels to Draco who was just now making it up the steps.
"Can we go?" I breathed.
"Yes" he nodded his head once, understanding exactly what I meant.
We walked in silence back to his Parisian apartment, not saying one single word until we were safely inside of his. I was not in the mood to have my very dead mother haunt me, today was not the day. I finally let out a breath when the lift doors opened up to this serene white apartment. I gasped as I grabbed the back of the chair, letting the sobs catch up with me.
Today was too much.
Seeing my uncle was too much, hearing my uncle was too much, seeing my mother's ghost was too much and being here with Draco was too fucking much.
It was too much.
Draco just stood behind me, as I let out painful sobs, my tears dripping on the floor. I felt him behind me as I hung my head down low, my nails digging into the velvet of the expensive sofa.
"Armena?" he breathed, his hand reaching out to touch me.
"No, please" I sobbed, "please, I can't have you touch me."
I flinched out of his grasp, trying to push him away but he didn't let go. He wouldn't let go. Instead, he spun me around and pulled me into his chest. It was odd because as much as I wanted to be alone in that moment, I didn't. I wanted more than anything for him to hold me. I wanted him to hold me and comfort me— which is what he did.
"Let me hold you" he breathed, his hand enclosing on my head as he pushed me against this chest.
My sobs we muffled but loud as I collapsed against him. My boiling hot tears staining his black shirt as he let me cry. I don't even know what I was crying for at this point. I think a part of me was mourning for him and I. I was holding my own funeral for us because I wanted more than anything to be able to touch him like this, to be in his life fully where he was coming home to me everyday. I wanted to wake up next to him every morning and fall asleep next to him at night. The more I thought about all of the things that I wanted, the more I cried. I sounded like a banshee but I didn't care. I knew that it was too much being here with him. It was too much to be here, but just enough at the same time. His arms enclosed around me as his chin rested on my head. He kept whispering words to me, many of which were inaudible over the noise of my heart wrenching sobs.
I still loved him, I still wanted him and I would still do it all again for him.
"I have you" he breathed into my hair, "let me have you."
I haven't been this close to him in ten years. I forgot what it felt like to be held in his arms and to have him surround me. This made me cry harder as my hands gripped onto his shirt. My fists balled around his shirt as if I was scared this was all a dream. I nuzzled my nose into him, knowing very well that I would be taking in his scent. This made me cry even harder, I know know why I did it but I just grabbed onto him tighter as the hot tears spilled. When my body gave out finally and the hot tears were not able to fall from my eyes, I looked up at him. I felt my breath hitch in my chest as I watched the tears pour down his own cheeks. I reached up carefully, my hand cupping his face. I collect the stray tear on my finger, my eyes refusing to leave his hypnotizing silver eyes.
"Are you okay?" I breathed.
He let out a low chucked, the corners of his lips pulling up. He dropped his hands off of my body, stepping away.
"Am I okay? I should be asking you that" he shook his head.
I ran my hands over my face and leaned against the back of the couch.
"Why don't you get showered and changed, then we can get supper?" he nodded, his grey eyes staring into my soul
"That sounds lovely" I sighed.
*****
Two hours later, I emerged from my bedroom feeling worlds better than I had before. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt honestly lighter.
I felt like the old me again.
"Draco?" I called, stepping into the open space.
The sound of music was playing on a record player in the corner. It was a familiar tune, one of the songs that I had heard many times before in muggle bar's with Pansy.
"How do you feel?" Draco asked, stepping out of his study.
"Worlds better" I sighed.
The corners of his lips peeled up into a cheeky little grin. I couldn't help but follow his lead, I turned my head down to the floor, tucking my wet hair behind my ear. Draco walked into the kitchen, setting two empty wine glasses out on the counter.
"Red or white?" he asked.
"Red" I sighed, slipping onto the stool by the counter.
Draco set a glass of crimson wine down on the counter, smirking his devilish Draco Malfoy grin that would get any girl to drop her knickers. He brought his glass up to the air, tilting his chin up slightly.
"Cheers" he breathed, clinking his glass together with my own.
"Cheers" I sighed.
I took a sip of the wine, letting it slide down my throat. I rolled my neck, letting it pop as my spine released. I took in a deep breath, watching as Draco leaned against the far counter, a playful smirk on his face.
"Can I ask you something" he sighed.
"I don't see why not" I took a large gulp of wine.
"You were close with your uncle correct?"
"Yes?" I narrowed my eyes.
"I was only curious" he sighed, setting his glass down. "I just— I mean I met Rodolphus before, and Rabastan Lestrange, and I don't understand how I have never heard of you. It's almost like you didn't exist, you are an anomaly."
I bit my lip looking down, this was the exact thing that I was trying to avoid. So many questions, so many gaps that were probably in his mind that were once filled with me. I guess I could skirt around the truth.
"When I was born, I was presented to my father..." I paused. "My father didn't want me, I was his— well lets just say bastard child. So since my mother was so in love with him, she chose to just simply pretend I didn't exist. My uncles raised me for the most part, they taught me everything that I know and I do thank them for that. Rabastan was caught up in the whole Death Eater aspect, while Rodophus kinda saw the light at one point. Which is why I was closer to Rodophus in the end."
"Do you miss your mother?"
No, I killed her.
"No, not in the slightest" I took a sip of wine, "she was wicked and she was cruel, she should never had been a mother."
He didn't answer me, he stared down at his wine.
"I feel like my mother was over protective, like she would do anything for me and wouldn't even blink an eye. It's a curse and a blessing I guess. I know she loves me but—"
I tried so hard not to laugh. I bit my cheek so hard that blood started to seep out into my mouth. I knew one thing and that was that Narcissa Malfoy would do anything for his only son. Even if it meant ultimately taking away his happiness. I stood up and walked around to the other side of the counter, facing Draco. I reached behind him and grabbed the bottle of wine, stepping back to pour the crimson liquid into my glass.
"My father on the other hand, the bastard got what he deserved" Draco snapped.
I almost dropped my glass hearing his words. I set the bottle down on the opposite counter and turned around to face him. His eyes were blazing with rage as he ran his hands through his hair.
"I just hope that I end up being a better father to Scorpius than my father was to me. I need to be a better father to him" he breathed.
I saw the pain and the hurt in his grey eyes. I wanted to rush up to him and tell him that he is so worthy and that he is doing an amazing job. I wanted to hold his cheeks in the palms of my hands and kiss his lips.
Fuck.
"I think you are a wonderful father" I breathed.
His eyes flicker up to my own as he rubbed his mouth with his hand. I watched as something flashed in his eyes. He dropped his hand and let out a long sigh.
"I— fuck, Armena" he breathed, "I wish that I knew everything about you. I want to know everything about you. Today just confirmed that for me, you are so fucking special I don't think you see it."
I lowered the glass of wine from my lips and gawked at him.
"I'm selfish I know, Armena" he sighed. "I'm so fucking greedy when it comes to you, but at the same time I know that I can't be. I hope you can see the shape that I am in right now— the shape that I have been in when I am around you."
"I'm not any better off" I whispered, not even realizing I said those words out loud.
He stepped closer to me, moving off the opposite counter. I took in a deep breath, feeling my core start to clench with anticipation. I ran my tongue over my lips, tasting the remnants of wine that coated my pink flesh. I watched as Draco's eyes tracked the movements.
"I'm not like Diggory" he smirked, moving closer to me. "I'm not going to lay a finger on you until you give me your permission."
I took in a sharp breath, hoping he couldn't hear me. I took a long sip of wine, letting the alcohol sit in my mouth before I swallowed. I needed the slight stinging of the wine to remind me that this wasn't a dream, that this was very much real and Draco was very much in front of me. He stepped in closer, his eyes trailing down my body. I felt my legs grow cold as the goosebumps prickled at my skin with anticipation. I knew my knickers were soaked, I knew that I was grateful that Pansy only let me pack black lacy ones, instead of my usual cotton ones that I slept in. I crossed my legs over each other, trying to relieve the tension that I was feeling in between my thighs. It was no use, I was way past the point of no return. He could breathe on me at this point and I was surely going to explode.
"Tell me Armena..." his voice was velvet as he spoke, "are you wet for me?"
Holy fucking shit.
I was so close to him, I could practically rip off his clothing if I wanted to. I wanted so badly to run my hands down the front of his jumper and pull it over his head. I wanted to trace the delicate lines of the Sectumsempra scar that Potter gave him in his sixth year. I wanted to run my tongue all over his body and lick each pulse point.
He was so close to me— too close.
"I see the way you clench your legs together whenever I am around."
"Oh don't—" my words came out just as a little squeak, as I stuttered over them, "d-don't flatter yourself."
He moved in closer, his hand reaching up to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from behind my ear. I heard his breath suck in as his fingertips brushed my cheek bone. It was a sharp hiss, it would have been inaudible to anyone but I was so close to him.
"I'm not trying to flatter myself, Armena" he chuckled, "I am just simply stating facts."
His eyes went dark as he spoke.
"Please" he whispered, his body pressing against mine, "tell me what you want."
I could feel all of him in that moment and it felt so fucking good.
I felt the marble of the countertop press into my lower back. He placed both of his hands on either side of the counter. I wanted nothing more than for him to press his lips to mine again but I couldn't— we couldn't. I knew if he kissed me one more that that would be it, we would be wrapped up in each other's arms faster than either of us ever imagined.
"Draco," I breathed, my face angling up to meet him.
I closed my eyes, feeling our lips brush against each other. The warmth of his breath on my skin. I wanted this so badly. I wanted him. I had waited ten years for this and now it was literally an inch away. He dipped his head down, his lips ghosting across my neck until he was at my ear.
"I wont do anything without your permission Armena" he breathed, his body pressing closer. "Tell me what you want because I can't stop thinking about what I want to do to you at this moment. The things that I want to do to you would send me right to Azkaban."
Oh, I am about to go to fucking Azkaban.
His lips touched my neck right at my pulse point, I could feel his fingers lightly ghosting the hem of my dress. I could feel the electricity drumming off of his fingers, our bodies pulling closer together. I felt the backs of my knees gave out, as my arousal pooled in my knickers.
I wanted him and he wanted me.
"Tell me..." his breath was hot in my ear "what you want?"
"I want..." I moaned, arching up to meet his hips."I want..."
Fuck. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
"Armena, I'll tell you what I want" he growled, "I want to lift you up on this counter and lay you down. I want to rip off those lacy knickers that Pansy packed for you and I want to devour you completely. I want to make the eyes roll in the back of your head by the time I am finished. That is what I want, now please tell me what you want."
I let out a whine as I melted into him. I could feel his length, pressing against my inner thigh. It would be so easy to give in, I wanted to give in. The only thing separating me and him was my dress and this stupid fucking Vow. I looked up into his eyes, meeting his grey and suddenly we were nineteen again.
"Oh fuck it" I breathed.
He tilted his head to the side confused about my words but before I could give myself any time to think about my actions I wrapped my hands around his jumped and pulled him into me. I gripped at the material so hard I thought that it was going to break. I pulled his lips down onto my own letting them crash into me like a wave. His hands gripped onto my hips roughly as he pushed me deeper into the counter. In one swift motion, he lifted me up onto the counter, our lips never leaving each other. His hand knocked over the glass of wine, the blood red liquid contrasting against the white marble counter. We didn't care, we let the crimson wine drip onto the floor. I tangled my hands into his luscious hair, pulling him closer to me. My legs opened wide for him, feeling my arousal leak over my thigh as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me in deeper to him. I let him, I would let him do it all at this moment. I could taste the remeinents of wine on his tongue as our tastes blinded together perfectly. He tasted exactly how I remember him and I wanted to bottle it up forever. His lips trailed over my jaw, kissing it's way down to my neck. I arched my neck, exposing myself to him even more. Moans escaped out of my mouth as he kissed at my collar bone, licking his way across my flesh.
"Draco..." I moaned, my eyes rolling into the back of my head.
His lips worked their way back up to my mouth, his tongue forcing its way in. I grabbed onto his jumper, wrapping myself around him like a vine. I wanted him, I wanted all of him.
Aren't you forgetting something?
A voice teased me in the back of my head. A voice that sounded a lot like Narcissa Malfoy. My eyes shot open and I pushed Draco away forcefully.
"I'm sorry" I whined, pulling back.
Instantly he pushed back, slamming his body into the opposite counter. His eyes were full of anger and frustration. They were almost black with rage. I wanted to tell him that it was me and not him, but that seemed like the biggest trick in the book.
"You— this is so frustrating Armena!" he gripped the counter.
My hand trembled up to my lips where he just was on my skin. I could still feel the ghost of his tongue in my mouth.
"You fuck Diggory, you fuck him after he practically throws himself at you but yet with us— fuck!" His eyes were dark and angry. "I want you so fucking bad. I want you to be mine but you won't let me and it's infuriating."
"It's so complicated..." I breathed. "It's so fucking complicated, I wish I could tell you but I can't."
Your mother is the biggest cock block alive.
"It's really not!" he growled, pushing himself off of the counter, "you just make it complicated. Armena, it's just excuses you keep making. That's all it is and you know one day you are going to wake up ten years from now and regret this. You are going to reget making excuses for us because if you just opened your eyes for a fucking minute—"
He ran his hands through his hair letting out an exasperated sigh, his body slumping in defeat.
"Eventually all those excuses are going to run out and you will be alone."
In a flash he was gone, slamming his bedroom door. The noise made me jump out of my skin. I closed my eyes and sunk back down against the counter until my arse hit the floor. I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to fight back the tears but they were already streaming down my face.
"I know, I already am alone..."
After a few minutes, I pulled myself up off the floor and walked back into my room. I knew now I wasn't going to get any sleep, especially after feeling Draco against my lips.