*warning: mentions of the death of a family member and familial issues*
That night Y/N could barely get any sleep. And the two hours she did manage to get were filled with horrid dreams, one dark scene after the other.
She decided to give up on sleep when she saw it was time to wake up for school, knowing either her neighbors or her best friend would be outside her front door soon.
The third years were confused when a sudden text reached their phones at 6:30 in the morning that read: not going to school for the rest of the week, explain later with no context or reply to their questions. Or to any of their individual texts.
The only exception to radio silence was Chikara. After the text was sent, he raced to her house with his uniform stuffed in his bag to change at her house while Y/N told him what was going on. He received an honest explanation but was sworn to secrecy for the time being. Not that there was much to hide, at the time she didn't really know what was going on herself. She could only assume.
And it only got worse from there.
Seeing Daizen pull up in front of her house absolutely broke her. Her cousin showed up with puffy, red eyes. It wasn't like him to be so expressive in this way. Daizen was the life of the party, the leader of the pack. He was strong, funny, happy. That's why Y/N and all her cousins admired Daizen. But the man sitting beside her in the silent car ride she could barely consider to be her cousin.
The next few days were mind numbingly painful and absolutely frustrating for Y/N.
Her parents had hidden almost the entirety of her grandmother's health battle that ended in an unfortunate loss.
She couldn't face them, and with each passing day their presence only angered her more. Hell, she was angry at everyone around her. She seemed to be the only one that didn't know, while her cousins that were several years younger than her had been informed. Why was she the only person who didn't deserve the truth?
And she was angry at herself.
For not trying harder to visit. For ignoring the warning signals. For being afraid. For being weak. For being sad. For being angry.
Guilt ate at her, anger fueled her, grieving broke her.
Y/N could be compared to a zombie on Friday morning. She'd accumulated little sleep for multiple reasons. It was rough having to share a room with a few of her other cousins, having to stay over at their home. When it wasn't her dreams keeping her awake, it was the feeling of someone's foot at her back or the sound of someone's snores filling the room.
There was one person she needed, but she didn't feel comfortable enough to call him, to confide in him, despite needing it tremendously. "Where are you going?" her aunt asked worriedly when she saw Y/N come down the stairs with a packed bag. "Honey if you need extra clothes I can lend you some, or we can go to the store."
"N- No, Auntie. I really appreciate you letting me stay here, and for the offer, but I really just need to get home. W- Where are my parents staying?"
Her aunt's face contorted into sympathy. It made Y/N internally cringe. She didn't want anyone to worry about her, it just felt wrong.
"You don't know?" She didn't know, but she assumed they were with one of her dad's two other sisters. She avoided her parents as much as she could, not conversing with them more than necessary, meaning she didn't ask where they were staying and simply listening when told she was to stay at her Aunt Chiyoko's house. "They're staying with Maiko, but they went to go..." her aunt paused, unsure whether or not to say anything.
"Th- That's fine, you don't have to tell me," Y/N assured, not wanting to make her aunt uncomfortable. "I'll just call them at the bus station."
She was surprised when her aunt brought her in for a tight hug. "You're welcome to stay until you can all go back together. You don't have to leave."
Y/N let out a shaky breath and hugged back. "I know. And I really do appreciate what you've done for me. But I'd really like to go home."
Few more words were exchanged between the two and Y/N bid goodbye to everyone in the house. She sent texts to her other cousins and aunts, letting them know she'd be going back home.
The only thing left was to call her parents, which she was dreading. But conversation with them had to come at some point.
Y/N's mother gasped at her daughters name on her phone, quickly grabbing her husband's attention and answering the call.
"Mija-"
"I left my aunt's house, I'm going home. I hope that's not a problem," Y/N said in the calmest voice possible, yet the venom was apparent.
"No, not a problem. But you'll miss-"
"I'd rather not do all the religious parts of the grieving process," she interrupted, knowing what was on schedule. "S- Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude by interrupting," she quickly added.
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.
"Is Keiji-kun planning on visiting this week?" her dad's voice suddenly spoke.
"We planned on it but all this happened. I was going to ask him to just stay home since-"
"We won't be staying at home for at least the next week. He's welcome to go over, and you should take the opportunity," her mother offered.
Y/N stayed quiet for a bit, considering her options. "I'll let you know what I decide, then," she said finally. "Stay safe." She hung up the call without letting her parents get another word in.
Keiji couldn't stand the feeling something was horribly wrong.
Y/N barely ever replied to his texts, never answering his questions about how she actually was doing. He was completely in the dark and it drove him crazy. He held off going to her friends until Thursday night. He called Ennoshita, hoping he would be able to catch him at a time where Y/N was with him.
"Ennoshita? Hey, I don't mean to bother you but is Y/N with you? I haven't really talked to her lately and I was hoping I could hear from her." Akaashi said as steadily as he could. But his hand trembled as it held the phone to his ear.
"No, you're not bothering at all. Um, you haven't spoken to Y/N?" Ennoshita rubbed a hand over his jaw, already mentally scolding his best friend for not being honest with her boyfriend.
"Not really, except for a few words here and there. She just avoids anything I ask her and tells me she's fine and we'll talk later.. but later never comes. Is she okay?"
Ennoshita held in a saddened sigh and prayed telling Akaashi was the right thing to do. "Well she is fine, in a sense. She's staying at her aunt's place in Sendai right now."
"W- What, why? Did something happen?" Only the worst was going through his mind.
"Her grandmother passed away Monday morning. She didn't find out until Tuesday after she got to Sendai and had to go to all the services and stuff."
Akaashi's mind went blank at the news, Ennoshita's words fading in his head. Tears welled in his eyes and he let them form and fall.
He'd met her paternal grandmother once. It was simply by luck that during one of his weekend visits, Y/N's parents mentioned they were going to stop by and asked if the two wanted to go with. Keiji could see the hesitation in Y/N's face in that moment and reassured her he was fine going if she wanted to.
He'd never forget the older woman's bright smile, or Y/N's, when they saw each other. He knew Y/N was, for lack of a better word, clingy, but it was amplified exponentially. She was constantly by her grandmother. Hugging her, holding her hand, holding her arm to help her grandmother to get around. And the happiness in her voice was unquestionable. Y/N spoke as much as she could with her grandmother, and with a huge smile on her face.
And he definitely would never forget the warm hug he was enveloped in. It shocked him, but the feeling was comforting.
Meeting Y/N's grandmother was something he held dear to his heart.
"Akaashi? Are you still there?"
Keiji sniffled and wiped his tears. "S- Sorry, yes I am. Thank you for telling me."
"I'm sorry you had to hear it from me. Listen, Y/N told me she was going to try and come back home in the morning. Hopefully she'll reach out to you then. Or, it's your weekend, right? I'm sure she needs you right now."
Ennoshita was right. It was Keiji's weekend. He promised to be there Friday. "Thank you, again. And I'll make sure Y/N doesn't get mad at you for telling me."
"I can handle her. Just make sure my best friend doesn't self-destruct, yeah?"
"Of course."
Keiji groaned as he drove, wanting to get to Y/N's house as fast as possible. The drive felt impossibly long, even more so than usual. He tried not to let his thoughts overwhelm him, and it worked for the most part, but the closer he got to his destination the more worried he became. He wasn't even sure if Y/N was home yet, or if she was even able to come home. He didn't want to call her in hopes he would find her peacefully at home, but he regretted that decision with every passing moment.
"Keiji, you idiot," he whispered to himself, leaning his forehead on the steering wheel as the red traffic light mocked him.
Y/N walked slowly down the sidewalk. Her footsteps seemed to echo in the quiet neighborhood. All the kids were at school, adults at work. Her face felt uncomfortably hot, a headache forming. But her house was in sight. She could be without having her family hovering over her for a few hours. She wouldn't have to lay in someone else's bed or on the floor, sit properly on the couch, hide in the bathroom when her feelings got too much.
She barely registered the sound of an engine or the sound of gravel crunching underneath tires. What snapped her out of her daze of her phone vibrating in her pocket. Her head snapped up in surprise and suddenly she could hear the sound of someone calling her name.
The sight of the familiar black car was almost enough to bring her to her knees, overwhelming emotion washing over her.
"Y/N!"
She stood shocked as comforting arms wrapped around her body. Silent tears poured down heavily, dampening the shirt she was pressed up against.
Y/N finally let her arms wrap around Keiji's torso, nuzzling into his chest and breathing in his scent. They stood there for a few moments, Keiji thankful he was able to be here on time and see her. He could tell from far away she was in a bad emotional state.
Suddenly Y/N pulled away, stammering over her words and panicking slightly. "Keiji.. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at school!"
"How can I be at school when you're in this state?" he said calmly. His hands traveled up to her face, wiping the tears away and brows furrowing. "You're burning up. Let's go inside."
"I was walking in the sun," she argued in a faint voice, letting herself be pulled towards her house. "Why are you here?"
"We'll talk inside." Akaashi was impressed at how steady he was being. He knew it was necessary, but wasn't sure if he could pull it off.
They walked into the house quietly. Keiji followed behind as Y/N walked to her bedroom and set her bag down. The silence felt deafening for the two, but nothing felt right to say in the moment.
"I'm sorry for not being honest with you." Keiji's head lifted to meet sad eyes. "I didn't want you to worry because you already have a lot on your plate with school and volleyball. But obviously that didn't work because here you are skipping school to check on me-"
"Hey, hey." He cupped her face and pressed his forehead against hers. "I know, baby, I know. I get it, but we're a team, my love. I'm here to support you and you, me. You know I would have skipped school anyways."
A whimper escaped Y/N's lips as tears began to fall again. Keiji pressed his lips to the top of her head and gently whispered, "I'm here, let it out."
Heavy sobs echoed off the walls of the room. Once she began, she couldn't stop. She cried for varying reasons, waves of intense emotions continued to come. The tight feeling in her chest never eased, the pain was that strong.
Keiji tried his best not to cry at the sound of her sobs. He sniffled and stroked her hair and back, doing anything to make her feel better. Hugging her close did seem to help, but the tears were never ending.
After an hour, Y/N was in a fit of hiccups and sniffles, clutching onto Keiji's shirt. Her shuddering breaths and warmer than usual skin worried him.
"Baby, let's get you some water, yeah? Maybe something to eat, if you're up for it?" He knew her habit of losing her appetite when she was stressed.
"No, 'm not hungry," she murmured into the skin of his neck.
"When was the last time you ate a full meal?" Her silence was his answer. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen."
Keiji easily slipped her arms around his neck and shifted her body so he could hold her legs on either side of his hips. He carried her over to the kitchen counter and set her down, frowning at the sight of her bloodshot eyes.
Y/N hugged her knees to her chest and watched as Keiji poured her a glass of water and brought it to her. She let her legs drop back down, gently tugging at his t-shirt to pull him in between her legs. She really needed the contact to keep her sane.
After a few glasses of water, and many forehead kisses, Y/N began to feel more normal. What felt like a suffocating ache was starting to grow faint.
"Do you want to try eating something?" Keiji asked, using his knuckles to caress her cheek.
"Not really."
"How about we try some fruit for now?" he encouraged.
Though reluctant, she agreed and ate green melon that Keiji chopped up. Admittedly, the sweet fruit soothed a sickly feeling in her stomach and left her feeling even better.
Keiji smiled at the empty bowl and stacked it over his own. He reached over and stroked her hair, leaning in to place a kiss on her temple. "You okay?"
"I'm better, much better. Thank you, baby." Y/N grabbed at his wrist and rubbed the soft spots on his skin, mustering a small smile.
He almost grinned at the sound of the pet name and her touch.
The couple made their way back to the bedroom where Keiji managed to get Y/N to calm down enough that she felt drowsy and ready for sleep.
"Love, stop playing with my hair," she protested. She held his hand against her head to stop his fingers from moving against her scalp. "I don't wanna fall asleep. I wanna keep talking to you."
"You're tired. Just sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Not tired," she muttered weakly as his fingers began to move again.
"Yeah and I have blond hair." His heart warmed at the faint laugh she let out. "I love you so much," he whispered against her hair, holding her close against his chest.
"I love you more."
"Absolutely impossible."
Keiji hummed softly, crooning the girl to sleep. He was relieved when her breathing slowed and her hold around him went limp, meaning she was asleep. It didn't take long for him to follow after her.
Keiji woke up to small groans and shuffling. He freaked out when he pat the spot beside him and felt empty space.
"Didn't disappear, 'm right here," a sleepy voice called out to him. He turned his head and saw Y/N standing by her closet. She finished pulling on a hoodie- one of Keiji's- and walked over to the bed. She crawled over to straddle his waist, carefully slipping her fingers underneath the t-shirt he was wearing. She smiled when he shivered at her touch. "Looks like I wasn't the only one that needed that nap."
Keiji's fingers caressed the soft skin of her thighs. "I haven't been sleeping well this week," he admitted.
Y/N frowned in guilt. "Was it because of me?" She frowned even deeper when his blue eyes looked away. "I'm really sorry for going MIA, it was so-"
"Don't start, baby," Keiji interrupted, sitting up to hug her. "What matters is that we're together now and that you remember you can talk to me about anything. I told you, I get it. You needed time-"
"I needed you," she whispered against his cheek. She didn't realize she had been peppering kisses on his face until her lips caught his. She hummed at the feeling and the warmth, enjoying the sweet kiss. "I needed you."
"You have me, my love. You have me."
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i was gonna write more and make it more angsty but it didnt have good flow and this is only some of the angst i plan to write so might as well wait yk
uh kinda feel like this book isn't super interesting yet? idkidk but i do plan on making things pretty good and eventful later
vote and comment any feedback/predictions/random thoughts <3
dont forget to check out my other works :)xx