(Um. This story is insane. Sometimes I have to ask myself...WTF? Anyway this chapter is a bit intense. Tw I guess. Tell me if I got the intensity right in the comments if you can xD)
I woke up to another call. The issue here is the call was from Pat.
"Hello?"
"I need you to come in so we can discuss a modeling opportunity"
"Can't we phone it out?"
"No, you need to come in because this is serious. I want to know you're paying attention to what I say"
I groan but agree. The work day was nearly over and my hangover not as bad.
I dressed in my casual clothes heading out. I could surprise (Y/N) after my meeting. I'd love to surprise her maybe even grab her something to drink if I have time.
I made it to my agency and headed straight into Pat's office to get this done ASAP.
"So what's up" I flop into the chair infront of her desk
"I talked to the PM Specialist who has been in contact with one of our supporters. Do you remember M-wear?"
"Sure, they are the mutant clothing company. I've modeled for them a lot. I'm guessing I have another modeling thing with them?"
"Actually both of you. They want both you and (Y/N) for their new birds of paradise collection"
I didn't like the idea of people seeing her, she could be dragged through the mud if she was recognized.
Pat rolled her eyes tapping her desk, "Stop worrying. I can see it on your face. I already talked to them. Her face wouldn't be shown. Also they have feather dyes they would like to use on her wings"
"Dyes?"
"They want them to be a rainbow with lots of blues and greens. Her white wings are perfect. It's like a blank canvas. The dyes would wash out"
"I don't think you should be talking to just me about this"
"She works for you. She needs to do what we tell her to"
"I want to make sure she is comfortable. I'm not just gonna throw her into a modeling job with me"
"Fine. You talk to her but I want an answer today. It's her or some other female model" Pat looked really irritated.
I scurry out of her office and smile heading to my floor so I could see (Y/N) again.
Readers POV
I smile heading into his office. He had some paperwork laying out and I started gathering it. He had a file he needed? I started searching his desk for it.
I opened a drawer but only saw one file. I was ready to close it when I saw my name on it. Curiosity got the best of me.
The file was heavier than I expected. I opened it taking a peak. A photocopy of a news paper was the first thing I saw. Pulling it out I skim through it.
My heart suddenly started to hammer. I could hear it in my ears. I had to stop reading as my hands suddenly began to shake. The pit of my stomach turned. I felt like I was ready to collapse.
I tried. I tried so hard my wings ached from the tension. I should have died. If I had been a little faster. Tried a little harder. My lungs were failing to get enough air. I was suffocating like I should have.
What am I doing? What do I do? I can't move. Why can't I move! I can't breathe! My head was getting light only hearing the blaringly loud sound of my own heart.
"I need you to focus dove, please, you need to calm down"
The pressure of arms around me was oddly comforting. It felt like it was all that was holding me together. The file slipped out of my hands curling my arms over the arms around me.
"See the feather?"
Infront of me was a Scarlett feather. I nodded slowly.
"What color is it?"
I found my voice, strained and shakey as I tried to focus, "Red"
"Good. Now take a slow deep breath with me"
We matched our breathing forcing me to slowly calm down. As the anxiety slowed to a simmer a new emotion found its way in.
"I trusted you!" I shove him off me facing Hawks directly.
"I understand, you're angry, I need you to finish calming down first" his hands reached out to me but I flinched away.
I don't want him to touch me. Once he does I'll shatter. Hot tears ran down my face. This room was too small but too large. I was trapped but everything was so far away. My breathing was ragged trying to get enough oxygen.
Hawks pursued me trying to pull me into a hug. I started out fighting but he didn't take no for an answer holding me close.
"I hate you!" I try to pull from him but it is weak compared to him. He doesn't let me go forcing me still.
"I know... you can hate me all you want. Just be ok first. You need to calm down. This will pass"
My whole body went from rigid to lax in a second. Hawks slowly moved us to the floor still not letting go moving me to bury my head in his chest.
"I thought I could trust you" I sobbed through hiccups
"I know. I never meant to hurt you" he laid a soft peck on my hairline before resting his head over mine
"I should have died"
"You lived. You shouldn't take that for granted"
"I watched her suffocate...I couldn't unbury her fast enough"
"There was nothing you could do"
"A cloth... if she just had a cloth over her mouth"
"Don't dwell. It'll only hurt more" Hawks voice was soothing. He continued to mutter apologies and kind words to me.
By the end of it all I felt mentally drained. My eyes stung from crying and all I wanted to do was go to bed and hide under the covers.
"I...want to go home..."
"I don't want you driving like this"
"I just want to go home" I mutter
"I'll drop you off, sound good?"
I could only nod. Everything just felt wrong now. I wanted an escape.
Hawks POV
I took her home leading her straight towards her room. If she saw her plants it could make her feel worse.
She seemed like a porcelain doll. I could move and manipulate her how I wanted but she is so fragile one wrong movement could break her.
I got her on her bed and wrapped her up in blankets like a sushi roll. Crawling up there myself I leaned against the wall and pulled her to lean against my chest.
Rubbing her arms and holding her could only do so much but she seemed a little better. I pulled out my phone and started looking for something to stream off of it.
A few movies later she seemed calmed completely. She had heavy eyes as she turned to lean more into me. I slept over holding her all night.
I left in the morning making sure she drank plenty of water and ate.
She took a few days off which I couldn't blame her. My problem was looking at my schedule.
I burst into Pat's office, "I never agreed to the shoot. She can't do it"
"You never responded. I gave you 24 hours so I approved it"
"I don't want to force her into that environment!"
"Then maybe you should have thought about forcing her to be your 'fake' girlfriend!"
It felt like my heart cracked. I did this. This is all my fault. If I hadn't stepped in and made her play this song and dance then she wouldn't be at risk to the public. If I hadn't gotten curious then she wouldn't have had to relive what happened... what's worse is I can't let go. I have loved our time together. Our little jokes and the time we spend together. She makes me happy...but I am tearing her life apart.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts.
(Y/N) came in looking meek, "Hello maam, Sorry if I'm interupting"
"(Y/N)...what are you doing here?"
"OH, Hawks. I'm sorry sir, I didn't see you there. I look forward to working with you more"
Was she...pretending to not know me? Does she hate me that much? Tears started welling up but I blinked them back best I could, "(Y/N)...please don't do this. I'm sorry"
I reached out for her but she looked at me confused, "What are you sorry for?"
She slipped a paper to Pat. My curiosity got the best of me as Pat's expression looked at me with slight pity.
"Whats wrong? What..." I looked between the two of them but (Y/N) just excused herself and left.
Pat shook her head sighing, "She doesn't remember you"
"How? Why?" I snatched the paper reading it over.
It was a medical release. I couldn't understand much from the technical jargon but one thing was obvious. She had a medical memory wipe.
"Its rare to see people commit to it. It's usually a last resort for patients. They have their memory wiped from this... well doctor. I think her name is Aiko Suzuki. Its hard to read her signature. Her quirk wipes away all memories that cause sadness. This is usually used for PTSD but it looks like it took your memories too" she squinted at the page, "She can still work normally though. So looks like she can do the modeling job"
I bit my lip trying to stop myself but a sob tore through my body. I caused so much pain she literally erased me. Did she hate me so much? Hot tears raced down my cheeks and I bolted out of Pat's office.
I needed to see her. I need her. I shove past people in the hallways until I see her at her desk. My arms latched onto her in a tight embrace.
"Im so sorry. Please forgive me, I know you can't remember but please... please remember me. I don't want to start over. I can't start over" I voice shook and cracked as I choked back further sobs.
Her arms didn't wrap around me...instead they pushed me away. She looked confused and concerned, "Sir, I have no idea what you are going on about, do you have me confused with someone else?"
There were stares around the office. I knew I was making a scene but what else was I supposed to do?
"The feather oil, remember that dumb Hawks joke? That was funny right? You remember, we went out to dinner. Fuck! Please remember me! I fucking LOVE YOU! PLEASE!"
Her confusion turned to fear as I got more hysterical. I couldn't breathe another sob came through before Pat came up to me.
"She can remember right?!? She remembered the incident?? I just have to make her remember"
Pat suddenly stabbed a syringe into my shoulder as 2 side kicks restrained me. I had no control. I didn't even see her coming.
I tried to use my feathers but quickly realized she got me with a quirk represent.
"No! Dont touch me! She has to remember! REMEMBER ME! I LOVE YOU!"
Another sidekick helped restraining me. I was shoved into my office Pat looking pissed off.
"You're hysterical. She can't remember and if you know what's good for her she won't"
"She has to. We have been through enough. We have memories Together!"
"You can start from the beginning. Make new ones, erase your mistakes"
"That's not how this works! I can't start over again! I won't!"
"Then we can call off this dating thing?"
"Never!"
"She doesn't even remember it probably. To her right now you are a hysterical mess for no reason"
My heart felt heavy. Everything felt heavy. I wiped my remaining tears and gathered myself. I am numb...I need to feel numb...it doesn't matter. It probably would have never worked out for me anyways.
Pat seemed to notice my change and nodded, "You have paperwork. You should get on it. I'm moving (Y/N) back to her department"
I nod sitting at my desk. So heavy. So very heavy. My body felt like a ton if bricks.
I hate feeling this way, acting this way. No matter what, I am getting her memory back weather Pat likes it or not.
(I will continue this story in its own book on wattpad. Its called My dove, my love or something like that so if you want to read more of this it is on there, sorry for the inconvenience. This is just too long to be with the short stories xD)