The experiment
"It seems like any other day, little Jimmy Cratnrr was playing with his football, like always. Then suddenly....it happened." Said Vince as he was telling a story about how Jimmy was abducted by aliens to TJ, Gus and Mikey. "And they never saw him again."
"Never?" Ask Mikey.
"Never!"
"Wow, that's a weird story alright." Said TJ.
"Aww that's not so weird. I heard about a guy that all he would eat was carrots. Carrots, carrots, carrots." Said Gus. "Then one day he woke up and he was totally orange."
"That's nothing, what about the kid who got braces on his teeth and started picking up radio stations. He got news, weather and sports every 6 minutes." Said Mikey.
"Or the kid who got stuck under a moving train -'d when they found him all that was left were 3 fingers and a very flat piece of bubble gum." Said TJ, when TJ had finished his story though they all started to debate on whose story was real and better.
"HA." Said a new voice off to the side, when the 4 boys looked they saw Butch, a 5th grader. "You kids make me laugh, aliens, trains, carrots, that's kids stuff. I can tell you a story so terrible that you teeth will curl."
"Butch, is that you?" Asked TJ.
"What happened to your hair?" Asked Vince.
"Had me a scare, a scare luke of which you kids will never know." Said Butch.
"Tell us about it Butch." Said TJ.
"I would, if I thought you guys could handle it."
"We can handle it, can't we guys?" Said TJ as the other 3 agreed wholeheartedly.
"Alright, but it's not a pretty picture, not a pretty picture at all." Said Butch as he took the tooth pick he was chewing on and threw it away. "It all started on a normal Saturday afternoon about a week ago, like always I was down in the basement spying on my big brother Joey, for months Christie had been coming over to see him. I know Christie was a girl but I never thought anything sinister about it, usually they just sit around and watch T.V., not this time. This Saturday everything was gonna change, all of a sudden something came over Joey, he started to get a funny look in his eye, that's when things got really weird." Butch then explained about how Joey put his arm around Christie and how they both turned and looked at each other. "Closer and closer they came, their faces almost touching until....until..until they kissed. It was horrible, their eyes were googly, their lips slurpin and smacking...."
"No it can't be true." Gus interrupting.
"You're making this up." Said Vince.
"I wish I was, good sweet Mike I wish I was, but I'm not. Joey kissed that girl and what's more, he LIKED it."
"Now you're getting ridiculous, at least our stories were believable." Said TJ.
"I'm telling ya he liked it, he told me so himself and that's not all he told me."
"Wel what else did he say?" Asked Gus after him and the others gulped nervously.
"See all this stuff." Said Butch guestiring to all the playground equipment. "Swing set, jungle gym, sandbox, well there the past. Guys I've seen the future and the future is girls." As soon as Butch finished the 4 boys started screaming 'nooo'. "Boys kissing girls, girls kissing boys and you know what else, we're all gonna like it, Mwahahahaha."
"Ewwww." Said Dede, Spinelli and Gretchen after the boys got done retelling Butch's story to them.
"Boys kissing girls, girls kissing boys." Said Spinelli.
"And LIKING it." Said Dede.
"Surely there must be some mistake, I mean this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting." Said Gretchen.
"But Butch said it's the future, his brother Joey told him." Said TJ.
"Oh please, the day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the earth starts spinning around the sun." Said Spinelli.
"But....the earth does go around the sun?" Said Dede confused.
"It explains the D- she got in science." Said Gretchen.
"Maybe Butch was just lying." Said Vince.
"Sounds good to me." Said Gus.
"I don't know you guys." Said Mikey. "I've seen it in lots of movies."
"Mikey, how many times to we have to tell you not to tell anyone you watch the mushy love junk." Said TJ.
"I know, I know. But it looks kind of sweet and the guys in the movies sure seem to like it."
"That's called acting Mikey." Said Vince.
"Right, it's not real." Said Spinelli. "Like when a guy jumps out of a helicopter and doesn't get hurt, it doesn't happen like that in real life."
"R..Right." Said Dede as she smiled nervously.
"Well, maybe you're right." Said Mikey.
"Sure, Butch was just making the whole thing up. Now come on, I'll cream ya in a game of dodgeball." Said Spinelli and with that the 7 friends all ran off to play, however throughout the whole day Butch's words just kept repeating within the minds of all 7.
"It can't be true, it just can't be." Said Gus at the end of the day, after they all spoke about it.
"Who knows, that's the problem. Who knows." Said Spinelli.
"Come on you guys, we're letting this take over our brains." Said TJ.
"TJ's right, there's only one solution to our problem." Said Gretchen.
"Why don't I like where this is going." Said Dede.
"We have to conduct an experiment."
"Oh no, I knew I didn't like it."
"An experiment." Said Gus after he, Vince and Mikey gulped.
"It's quite simple actually, all we have to do is scientific inquiry, find a will boy and girl, observe them kissing, ask them to describe their reactions and then we'll know once and for all. We can do I tomorrow before school." Said Gretchen.
"Gretchen you're a genius." Said TJ.
"Only one problem." Said Vince.
"Well what's that?" Asked Gus.
"Who's gonna be the guy and the girl to do it?" Replied Dede.
"Well it's gotta be one of us, that's the only way we're gonna be able to trust our findings." Said Gretchen.
"Then I guess there's only one way to chose." Said TJ. "The straws." The other 6 gasp at this.
"Are you sure-" before Dede could finish her sentence she was cut of by a beeping sound. "On second thought that's a great idea, who's gonna bring the straws."
"I will." Volunteered Vince as Dede covered her bracelet.
"Sounds good, I'll see ya all tomorrow." Said Dede as she ran off.
"Is that normal?" Asked Gus as they all watched Dede run off.
"What the beeping bracelet then her running off, yeah that's normal." Said TJ.
"It's been happening for about 2 years." Said Spinelli.
"Why does it beep?" Asked Gus.
"No clue, when we ask Dede just saying it's the alarm broken on it." Said Gretchen and with that they left to go home.
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The next day before school started the 7 friends were behind some trash bins on the playground.
"Now, does everyone agree to the ancient line of the straws." Asked Vince to which the other 6 nodded their heads. "To live by the judgement of the straws, to be bound by the decision of the straws and to never back out no matter what the outcome." At everyone's nod Vince held his hands out for everyone to take a straw. "Okay."
"On the count of 3." Said Dede "1,2....3" as soon as they all opened their hands, the straws were revealed, showing Spinelli and TJ with the short straws.
"No...no...nooooooo." Both TJ and Spinelli screamed.
"How about we do the experiment tomorrow, give them both a chance to come to terms with it." Said Dede looking at her shocked and scared friends.
"That's a good idea, we need to get some stuff to make them look nice anyway." Said Vince.
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The next day during recess the boys had took TJ into the boys bathroom to get him ready and the girls took Spinelli into the girls bathroom.
"Come on Vince, anything you want, money, gold, tennis shoes." Said TJ pleading with Vince to take his place.
"Can't help ya man, vow of the straws." Replied Vince.
"I'm calm, I'm cool, all I want you to do is one thing." Said Spinelli to Dede who was doing her hair.
"What's that?" Asked Dede.
"GET ME OUTTA THESE THINGS!!" Spinelli shouted referring to the chains Gretchen had used to tie her to the chair.
"I'll give you my entire collection of maniac man comic books, in mint condition." Said TJ to Gus, who was using a lint roller on TJs jacket.
"I already read them." Said Gus.
"How about my brand new road bruiser mountain bike, I just got it for my birthday." TJ offers Mikey who was brushing (?) his shoes.
"I'm not listening." Said Mikey covering his ears.
"This is a crime against humanity." Said Spinelli. "I mean, why would I wanna kiss him? He's my friend."
"As Vince would say, vow of the straws." Said Dede and Gretchen grabbed a toothbrush and started brushing Spinellis teeth, while Dede painted her nails.
"Okay, one last thing and you'll be perfect." Said Gretchen as she held her hand behind her back. "A little lipstick."
"Touch me with that and I'll break your arm."
"It's not that bad Spinelli." Said Dede trying to calm her friend down.
"What about my reputation, no decent kid will wanna associate with me after this." Said TJ as he and the other boys left the boys bathroom.
"I will, of course not at school or anything." Said Gus as they all walked outside to the trash bin where they had drew the straws. When they got there Dede and Gretchen walked out from behind the bin holding flowers and walked to the boys, when they looked behind them to see if Spinelli had followed them they see that she hasn't.
"Spinelli get out here." Said Dede.
"No, you can't make me." Said Spinelli.
"Mikey Vince, do you mind getting her for us." Dede asked and the boys immediately went to get her, dragging her out from behind the bin, kicking and screaming.
"Let me go." Spinelli shouted just as they let her go in front of TJ.
"You realise we'll probably have to get married after this." said TJ.
"You realise I'll probably have to kill you after this."
"Haha, okay, okay. Let's just get this over with."
"Right, before anyone sees us." As TJ and Spinelli leaned in to kiss they were stopped by a giggle, they stopped to look at their friends to see if they were the ones giggles, only to see that they weren't. When they were about to kiss again, they were once again interrupted by a giggle. "Alright, who's there." After Spinelli said that some kindergarteners were in some smaller trash bins.
"Okay, which one of you laughed." Asked TJ as the giggle was heard again, however the kindergarteners just shrugged as more laughter was heard.
"Show yourself or die." Said Spinelli as the Ashley's stood up from a bush in dresses, the diggers stood up from inside the bin and the swinger girl swung down from the tree. Guru kid, hustler kid and upside down girl all showed themselves from inside the building close to them with the marching bang (?) appearing behind some more bins. Butch, king Bob and some other students all stood up from behind a car just outside the fence.
"Okay, who told them." TJ demanded looking at the other 5 friends.
"I didn't." Said Vince.
"Not me." Said Mikey.
"I would never." Said Dede.
"Not me." Said gus.
"Never said a word." Said Gretchen, however TJ and Spinelli didn't believe them as they were still glaring at them.
"Well actually I might have said something." Said Vince. "But just to one kid."
"I may have mentioned it to a colleague or two in the science club." Said Gretchen.
"I may have told Butch so that he could see that there's nothing to worry about and king Bob had overheard." Said Dede.
"4 or 5 here, okay maybe 15 if you count the Ashley's in ms frilles class." Said Gus.
"Well isn't this something." Said Mikey crossing his arms and looking down at all his friends. "Here we are sworn to a vow of silence and I'm the only one who doesn't go blabbing it around, frankly I'm ashamed of you guys."
"Hey Mikey, thanks for the tip, sorry I'm late." Said a kid as he ran up to Mikey.
"Err..haha." Mikey laughter nervously as the 4 glared back at him.
"Well I'm not Doing this with every kid on the playground watching." Said Spinelli.
"But inquiring minds wanna know." Said Gretchen. "We must continue the experiment for the good of pure science."
"Fine, then why don't you kiss him madam curi."
"Okay." Said Vince as he got the 7 friends into a huddle circle. "Here's the deal, we'll meat after school in the park." At all the friends nod it was confirmed that, that was the new spot.
"The kiss has been rescheduled for after school in the park." They heard Randal announce loudly with a megaphone.
"Might as well get it over with now." TJ signed looking at Spinelli.
"Yeah, a picker a peck and we're outta here." Said Spinelli.
"The kiss is back on." Announced Randal, as the other students came closer in a circle the marching bang (?) started doing a drum roll as TJ and Spinelli faced each other and kissed. As they kissed the Ashley's and Mikey all shed a tear, however when they parted they just looked at each other for a second.
"EEWWWWW." They both exclaimed wiping their lips on their sleeves.
"Eww, puke city." Said Spinelli.
"Quick somebody get me some mouthwash." Said TJ not long before the bell rang. "Well at least not we know for sure, there's no way we're ever gonna wanna kiss you girls."
"Yeah and we're not gonna wanna kiss you guys neither." Said Spinelli as all 7 friends started to laugh.
"Turns out Butch was wrong after all." Said Dede.
"Come on, We best go before Ms Grotke gives us all tardies." Said Vince as all but TJ and Spinelli walked off.
"Butch and his crazy stories." Said TJ.
"Yeah, is kissing each other, that's the dumbest stuff I've heard since that stuff about Jimmy Cratner and the aliens." Said Spinelli making TJ laugh a bit.
"Yeah, who'd ever believe a stupid story like that." Said TJ as he and Spinelli walk into the school for class.