"now... that was pretty anticlimactic"
"yep"
~~♠♣♥♦~~
The war was literally an entire blur to me.
One moment we were fighting and killing the opposition, and in the next we were all standing in the famous drug van, looking down at president Jschlatt who was (for roleplay purposes) drunk as a skunk.
"Schlatt...?" Wilbur muttered, staring down at the intoxicated man
Schlatt, finally realizing we were all in his presence, looked around the room, his eyes began to dart at the sight of everyone staring down at him.
"What the hell- is this a surprise birthday party..?" He asked, adding a little chuckle at the end
"Schlatt, what are you doing in my drug van?" Wilbur asked
But Schlatt didn't reply to Wilbur. Instead, he got a potion which seemed to be mimicking alcohol and started drinking it.
"Wha- are you drinking??" Wilbur asked
Everyone continued to try and ask Schlatt questions, but he didn't seem to want to respond to any of them.
Schlatt continued to drink and make weird and odd comments. At times breathing heavy or occasionally coughing.
They know more about this Schlatt and Manberg thing, so I technically don't have a place to say anything. That's a reason why I didn't say anything for this bit.
And after a while, Schlatt just looked towards the sky from the gaping hole in the roof of the drug caravan to lock eyes with a certain someone.
"Fundy?? Fundy what are you doing here??" Schlatt exclaimed
"Schlatt- are you fucking drunk-?" Fundy questioned, jumping down to the rest of us
Upon seeing Fundy, Schlatt began hitting him with the potion he had in hand. And went down to fight him.
Everyone tried their best- without much effort- to restrain Schlatt from hurting Fundy further by punching him away from Fundy.
"Schlatt- listen to me! You fucked up the country, you fucked up everything..! You had a dream and I followed it, but you brought it down hill. Everything- you- you-- you ruined it!! You ruined everything we had!!" Fundy exclaimed
"I thought you were something..!!"
"Yeah, yeah I am something. I'm what you're not Fundy" Schlatt says
"What?" Fundy asks
"I'm a mannn" Schlatt replies, you could practically hear that cocky smug tone drip from his words
Out of slight surprise of Schlatts reply, a smile formed on my face. One that was trying to hold back the little laughter bubbling inside of me.
Damnnnn.
That amount of shade thrown down though-
A little bit after Schlatt said that, Wilbur seemed to have had enough. And he pulled out his sword and walked up in front of Schlatt.
"Schlatt, are you ready to have this end now? are you ready to die?" Wilbur asked
"What?" Schlatt questioned
Wilbur gestured to Tommy to come over. And Tommy walked over, a loaded crossbow in hand. He then proceeds to point it directly at Schlatt.
"It's over Schlatt" Tommy states
Oh wow. He's just going to die in the caravan while he's basically wasted. Kinda sad if you ask me. Well... At least he had a few drinks before he hit the road....
..And I mean literally hit the road- they might as well just kill his character outside on the paths as we speak.
"Y'know... If I die... This country goes down with me..." Schlatt mentions
"No it doesn't Schlatt...." Tommy muttered
As soon as those words left Tommy's mouth, Schlatt began to laugh "Ohhhhh, you gotta wanna know Tommyinnit...!!"
With that being said, Schlatt took another swig of his drink.
"I had everybody turn on me... In my time of need, everybody left..." Schlatt says, then turning to Quackity to punch his character "You left. Your fatass left. You and your fatass left. Who- who's ass am I going to look at now??"
"My fattest ass- it had to go!! It had to go..!!" Quackity states, still continuously getting punched by Schlatt
This- this is why I can't take the Dream SMP roleplay seriously-- half the time I just want to crawl in a hole because of the weird things these people say...
Many people began talking over eachother, I didn't even know what was being said anymore...
But the only thing I caught was Schlatt saying that Quackity couldn't curl a bar-bell... And that Quackity should do more squats in order to get a fatass.... Which- I think that was taking the piss out of him in roleplay?
Some things the people say on this SMP really make me reconsider being here--
Also- about the fatass... Just literally eat food and sit down, that weight will make that thickness go to the lower half body. I've learnt that over my time of living.
Like- I don't really remember the last time I've actually done proper exercise.... Only whenever I had gym at school, but even then I don't really try all that hard...
But- eh. I'd say I'm decently figured. I don't want label myself as 'too fat' or 'too skinny', so I just put myself in the middle to make myself seem at least a little better.
Just like in PvP, I am not the greatest nor the worse. Only average. And that's all I'll ever be!
Since in life, there's always going to be someone better and worse than me in every scenario.
That's how I keep myself at a pretty decent mental state anyways... :p
My thoughts were cut short when someone peaked their mic, which I assumed was Tommy. But mainly because of that, I was able to focus back at what was happening in front of me.
"Does... Does anyone smell toast..?" Schlatt suddenly questioned
Toast? Why the tell would he be smelling toast right now?
"I... I don't feel good...." Schlatt murmurs
Well no shit, you're drinking in the roleplay and you're about to get executed by a british kid.
Schlatt's breathing began to grow heavier, muttering to himself every so often, people occasionally called out his name, but Schlatt didn't reply and continued to breathe heavily.... until....
jschlatt fell out of the world.
...he fucking exploded.
"oh-" was all I said
Everyone else had pretty much the same reaction, being pretty confused as well of what just happen in front of our eyes.
"Did... Did he just have a heart attack??" Toby questioned
Laughs began to fill the call after Toby's sentace.
Even I managed to laugh a little too.
Is that how we're going to explain Schlatt's death?
He had a heart attack?
Ohh... Actually, now that makes a lot more sense.... Seeing normal signs of people who constantly drink and smoke, they usually have weaker hearts and lungs...
As well as the bonus fact... That he was an old man.
Despite him actually being 21.
Hey- I mean- free stuff. amiright?
Everyone was still a little in disbelief over what just happen, and soon enough, we heard the familiar voice of Schlatt enter our ears one last time... to whisper his international final words to us all.
"...flatty....patty...." Schlatt's voice echoed out
"...wha- what did he just..?" Wilbur questioned
"You- He said flatty patty--" Quackity said "ARE YOU GOD DAMN KIDDING ME?!?!?"
Laughter filled the call once more, I laughed harder than ever before... In the longest time, I genuinely laughed.
Nothing out of pity, nothing fake...
A real... laugh....
It felt so natural doing so, that I couldn't of stopped myself even if I wanted to...
"Yeahhh!!! We killed an old man with heart problems!! POG!!" Techno exclaims
...And that was the last thing I heard- before my monitor shut off.
"wait- what?" I questioned, confused as hell
Did my monitor seriously unplug itself?
I glanced at my plugs, they were still plugged in...
But then... I realized what actually just happen.
"DID THE POWER LITERALLY TURN OFF!! BRUHH!!" I exclaimed, covering my face with my hands
Leaning back in my chair, I let out another groan of annoyance.
"You witness a man with heart problems get killed and then his ghost decided to turn off my power- bruhhh" I groaned, the words being muffled because of my hands
I quickly sat up from my chair and rushed out of my room to fix the fuse box.
Occasionally our power would go out because our fuse box is pretty broken. I would help my dad do the maintenance whenever it did break down, but in this instant... It was a desperate need. And I'm glad I learnt how to do it by myself, since my dad was out getting another package today.
Leaving my house and shooting towards the shed, I quickly took the tool box and walked over to the fuse box which was just casually there.
Turning off the switch, I opened the box to see the problem...
"Damn, I don't even know why these get disconnected randomly... It's like someone's been doing this on purpose..." I muttered
It took a few minutes, and my hands managed to somehow get pricked by the wires and other metallic points in the box, but I actually reset the box to it's previous state.
With a smirk, I turned the switch back on and saw the power in the house go back on.
"poggers- just spedrun fixing a fuse box" I muttered out, putting the tool box back in the shed before heading inside once again
Running to my room, I quickly turned on my pc and waited for it to boot up again.
It took a few minutes, but the normal things started loading back up, and I instantly started my stream again.
My viewers started to join again, less than before, but it didn't matter all that much.
"Seriously so sorry! The power box we have occasionally goes out whenever it feels like it and my family needs to fix it whenever it does that...! Welp! That's the quick explanation, now lets hurry and get back on the SMP before I miss any more action!!" I said
After minecraft opened up, I logged onto the smp once more and streamed the layout. With nothing else more, I joined back in the call once more.