A sharp moan left Korra's mouth, sending shivers down Asami's spine. Asami gasped and easily slipped her hand under Korra's shirt. She gripped her bare waist tightly, then arched her back off of the bed so hers was closer to Korra's. Their lips moved in a smooth melody, at times casually biting the other's. Korra's skin was practically on fire. The strong heat radiated throughout her entire body which also mixed with Asami's warmth.
It was all driving her crazy.
The roaming hands, the energy between them sending shocks to her finger tips, Asami's body underneath hers, the tight grip they had on each other, their grinding hips that bucked and begged more friction.
Asami's other hand dragged through Korra's soft locks of hair. She was almost pushing Korra's head down so their lips could be in even more contact, if possible. Korra then put their kissing to a halt as she moved to Asami's neck. She bite at a certain spot, causing Asami's body to slightly jerk and she bit her lower lip. She continued to message Asami's sweet spot with her mouth until she decided on double stimulation. Korra ran her hands up Asami's side until she was able to slowly message her breast through her, albeit, quite thin tank top and lace bra.
They've never gotten this far, so Korra checked quickly to to see if Asami was okay with the new step. And it was definitely the latter.
She loved this. She loved having the pleasure of making Asami feel good. Her moans were nothing less than beautiful. Korra wanted to bring that look to her face as many times as she could in the future; Asami's eyes tightly shut, her mouth in either an o-shape or biting her lower lip, her eyebrows knitted together.
This was pleasure for her in itself. It was far more addicting than any substance she could think of. Their hips met again and Korra's pulse quickened.
"Shit, Korra." A soft moan, almost a beg, left pale lips and sigh followed. Goosebumps appeared on Korra's forearms instantly. She smirked against Asami's neck and kept doing exactly what she was doing.
Korra then felt the hand tracing her stomach move to her back and pull her body down more. Asami's movements clearly had a mind of their own; she began to tug on the shirt that was clearly in her way. Korra wanted nothing more than to rip it off, than to rip off all of the clothing that was in between them and let Asami have her way with her, but she knew better.
She pulled away from Asami's neck and attempted to get her attention.
"Asami." Korra breathed. The pounding between her legs nearly made her mind go completely blank. Letting anything out of her mouth besides a moan was a challenge itself.
The woman underneath her finally opened her eyes and hummed. It was hard for Korra to even remember what she was about to say. Asami's heavy panting and rising chest was highly distracting, but she found her words somehow.
"What exactly is this? What's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"No. No, please don't play oblivious with me." Korra crawled off of Asami to put herself in a sitting criss-crossed position, which Asami followed in a few seconds after. Korra looked down to her lap instead of making eye contact and continued.
"I just spilled my heart out to you like twenty minutes ago; everything I've been feeling and thinking for the past few months, and then you just kissed me and we started ... well, that." She fiddled with her fingers and licked her bottom lip. "I know it may seem weird to you but, I need some kind of clearer confirmation than us making out."
An uncomfortable silence for a long three seconds.
"I don't want to just make out with you all of the time because of pleasure."
"I know. I know, and I'm genuinely so sorry for this." Asami's voice was filled with sincerity.
"Sorry for what?" Korra brought herself to meet her favorite pair of green eyes.
Asami seemed to be mentally stumbling over herself. She clasped her hands together and set them on the bottom of her chin, taking in a small breath. "I- it's just ... hard."
"What's hard? Why can't you just talk me? It's me." Korra reached her hand out to place it on Asami's knee, slowly and soothingly rubbing it to assure her.
"Yes, Korra, but-"
"And please don't think that I'm being insensitive, and I hope I'm not coming off as pushy either. I'm very aware that you're not really used to stuff like this, but still." She paused. "I don't like being so confused."
"You think I do?" There was a change of tone; it was sharp and filled with frustration. Korra pulled her hand away to put it back in her own lap.
"What? I never said that!" She defended.
They stayed quiet for a while, both thinking to themselves about what to possibly say next.
"I just don't get what the problem is."
"The problem is that it's you!" Asami spat out. The confession stung Korra, and her defenses and walls were quickly put up.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She shot back. Her eyes roamed all around Asami's figure.
"I don't even know how to explain it."
"Well, can you at least try?" Korra tried to search her face momentarily, but came across nothing but an unreadable expression. "Please. I want to understand you."
"I've never ... been with anyone like the that way you may want. It's new and a lot to work with, and slightly terrifying."
"You're scared of me?"
"No of course not. That's not what I meant. I'm trying to say that," Asami took a short breath and began to slowly stroke a strand of her own hair that had fallen in front of her face. "I've been at a constant battle with myself ever since your birthday, and maybe even before that. The thought of being so close with someone like that is what's so terrifying; that part has nothing to do with you."
"So what does? Why am I specifically a problem?" Korra continued to question. Her fear of prying became nonexistent all of the sudden.
"Because I don't want things to get messed up. You yourself said that you've had a couple of bad relationships. If we get involved or whatever, I don't want to just be one of your past experiences that went down the drain."
Relationships. The word spilling out of Asami's mouth set off a second long flutter in Korra's stomach when it was used in this context. Though it wasn't in the best way, she ignored that.
"Who gives a shit about my past experiences? This is different."
Asami bit her lip. "If anything goes wrong and I end up losing you somehow, I won't even know what to do with mysel-"
"You're not ever going to lose me, Asami." The fact that Asami genuinely thought that made Korra chuckle unbelievably. "I thought I made that clear ages ago, guess not."
"Not the time for jokes, maybe." Asami said.
"Uh yeah, sorry." She scratched her cheek awkwardly and looked back down to her lap. Her heart rate was picking up again. "Look, I'm not trying to pressure you into doing or saying anything that you're not ready for, Asami. I guess I just figured that ..."
"Figured what?"
She sighed. "Well, that you might actually have feelings for me."
Korra could feel Asami tense from the few inches that parted them. She knew what she was saying shouldn't be said, but a large part of her didn't care, so she continued.
"Yeah, a pretty dumb fantasy now that I think about it; considering that you keep kissing me and doing all of these grand gestures for me. Maybe I read into those wrong, though, or too deeply."
At that point, words were falling out of her mouth before she could even process them.
"Korra-"
Korra stood from the bed, feeling that they were closer than she could handle. She moved to lean against the end of the bedpost and cupped her hands on the top of it.
"You don't even do relationship shit, anyway." Korra went on. "I have no idea what was going through my head. I seriously should have just kept my mouth shut and got over this stupid fucking crush on my own time. But no, I had to let it all out and get myself hurt." She let out a forced smile that couldn't fool anyone. "Funny, because that's what you've been scared of but in reality I was the one to experience it."
Asami had been rendered speechless. Korra's blue eyes unintentionally sent her daggers from where she was standing. She swore that she could hear her own heart beat, and feel the sweat building up on the inside of her fisted palms. The large room suddenly felt far too small for the both of them to be in there at the same time.
Korra chuckled sharply, then shook her head and broke their painful gaze. She picked up the small bag that she had brought - which contained the stuff that she would need for the night.
"Anyways, since you still have nothing to say, I'm gonna use the bathroom. That okay with you?" Korra's tone was unfamiliar, even to herself.
"Um ..." Asami's words were more of an inaudible croak rather than an actual statement of approval. "Y-yeah of course."
Korra nodded her head and made her way over to Asami's bedroom door rather than her bathroom one.
"Wait, where are you going?" Asami spoke up, quickly slipping off of the bed while. She wrapped her arms around her troso to hug her cold body.
"To use the one in the guest bedroom next to yours."
"Why?"
"Cause I'm gonna sleep there tonight." She sounded so sure, but in her head, she was begging for Asami to just help her understand.
Asami shifted uncomfortable, looking back to her bed while rubbing up the sides of her arms. "But you don't have to. You always sleep in my bed when you stay over."
"Yeah, but I think being in a different room for the rest of the night will be much better for me."
Stop talking, Korra.
"Oh, okay." Asami pushed out.
Korra nodded one last time and turned for the door. She walked out quickly and quietly with heavy shoulders. She found herself blinking once, twice, then in a rapid pattern as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
---
Asami had been such an idiot.
She was so busy wrapped up in her own confusion, that considering Korra's feelings had never even been an idea. She for some reason just assumed that everything would be okay with Korra. Asami called herself an idiot for not having the brains to think logically.
Her own selfishness hurt Korra. That was far from anything that she wanted. She wanted to be the person to shower Korra with the affection and care that she deserved, but she just couldn't.
Asami was angry with herself, and most of all frustrated and embarrassed. All she had to do was get over her pointless 'fear' and just tell Korra how she truly felt. How she knew she felt.
She contemplated on whether or not to visit Korra in the other room, listing out the pros and cons in her head before making any decisions.
Pros; she steps up and confesses how she feels, Korra is happy, she is happy, they kiss and spend an amazing day together, then they see how things go from there.
Cons; Korra doesn't even want to see her for the rest of the night and her visit ends up making things worse.
That thought alone was enough to convince her to sit back on her bed instead of choosing the other option.
The next time she blinked, her vision went blurry. She didn't even bother trying to hold back the tears that made their way out. Asami hugged herself tighter and slightly hunched over. She was crying, no, practically sobbing. The salty tears made her face damp and they began to make her eyes sting.
She cursed at herself for already messing things up. All she wanted was to be the right person for Korra, but she couldn't even admit to her own feelings herself. It was sad and pathetic. She should have listened to everyone else; to Mako, Kai, Wu, Alicia, and even Bolin and Opal who hinted at it once or twice.
Asami kept crying. She cried more than she even thought she did. She cried until it physically hurt to let anything else out. Asami sniffled again, then lifted her comforter to snuggle herself inside of it. She laid down on her side, still holding her own torso, and shut her eyes tightly.
She missed the familiar warmth that she should have been cuddled up to tonight. If she hadn't been such a coward, she could of had Korra wrapped in her arms by now, or vise versa. She didn't care how but as long as they were close she thought everything would be okay. But it wasn't.
You hurt Korra.
She kept telling herself that mentally, as if it was a reminder of how awful of a person she was. That was her last thought before sleep took her over; about two hours later, though.
Asami's eyelids fluttered open with a burning feeling behind them. The memories from just a few hours ago flooded her head immediately. She rubbed her eyes and reached over to her bed side table to grab her phone. The device told her that it was nine in the morning. She fell asleep around four am. Getting a small amount of hours of sleep wasn't something unusual to her, but this time it was because of something different and honestly more important than some project for work.
"Oh, shit." She quickly remembered that she hadn't told Alicia or her father that she'd be out for the day. Thankfully it was still early, so she hurriedly sent a message to the both of them saying that she wasn't feeling too well. Her father replied with a concerned message, but Asami assured him that she would be fine.
Asami then stood from her bed and made her way to her bathroom. Flicking on the lights, she looked into the long mirror. Just as she expected, she was a mess. Her eyes were almost a light pink and puffy, her face was dry and stained from the tears, and her hair was a bit tangled. She groaned and gripped her palms on the cold sink.
She wondered if it was time to try and speak with Korra, but she knew her friend too well. Of course Korra wouldn't be awake for another few hours at the least. Asami then picked up her phone and scrolled through her recent phone calls, then clicked on the person who understood her best when it came to this particular situation. The call rang for a few seconds until he answered.
"Good morning to you." He greeted politely.
"Hey, Mako." She put him on speaker as she began to clean herself up.
"Oh no. What could possibly be wrong? It's ten in the morning."
Her eyes widened right as she splashed water on her face. "How did you know that something's wrong?"
"One, your tone of voice is low and noticeably upset, and two, you just told me."
"Fine. Well, if you must know-"
"What happened with Korra?" He interrupted with a sure stance.
"How are you doing that?"
"I just know." Mako laughed. "I'm taking the night shift tonight so I won't be busy, so I'm all ears.
"Well that's great because I certainly need your advice on something."
"Before you start, are you even gonna consider the advice I give you?"
She stayed quiet, actually pausing in the middle of her face wash.
"Exactly." Mako stated matter-of-factly. "But I'll give it anyway. Now, continue."
Asami filled Mako in on everything that happened once Korra came over the previous night. From the innocent kiss in her kitchen, to Korra leaving her room with hopeless eyes at two in the morning. Mako listened intently; he always genuinely enjoyed drama stories like this, probably something that he picked up from Wu.
Once she was done speaking, the line went silent. She bit her thumb finger nail in wait of a response. She was about to call for Mako's name again until he finally spoke up.
"You know what? You need to stop making yourself so damn miserable, Asami!"
"Excuse me?" His outburst took her back for a moment.
"You know exactly what i'm talking about but for some stupid, fucked up reason you don't want to admit to it." He took a long breath. Asami could envision him pinching his nose bridge in stress. "It is so obvious to everyone but you that you have these insanely strong feelings for Korra. I don't understand why you don't just put your pride or whatever aside and actually be with her, so you can actually be happy."
"Mako-"
"I don't know Korra all that way, but from what you say about her I know she's great and that she's the perfect person for you. And right now, it seems like you're pushing her away for nothing. I've been letting you dance around your emotions for too long now, so my bad, I guess. Now can you please just go and talk to her to make things right instead of feeling sorry for yourself?"
Asami gripped the sink again, refusing to look at herself in the mirror or respond to Mako. He was right. Everything he was saying was more than just the truth and she felt ashamed for not coming to these conclusions on her own months ago.
"Sorry for being a little harsh, but that was the exact thing that you needed to hear. Hopefully it sent you over the edge and made her realize something." Mako spoke in a much calmer way.
"I ... it did. Thank you, Mako, honestly."
"Are you gonna go talk to her now?"
She thought for only a short moment. A promising and exciting smile appeared on her lips as she bit her lower one. "Yeah, I am."
"Finally!" He chanted quite loudly. "Tell me how it goes. I'm wishing you the best because you deserve this."
"I will. And thank you, again."
"Of course."
They talked about other things for about twenty more minutes until Wu was knocking on Mako's apartment door, so he had to go. Asami still knew that Korra wouldn't be awake yet. She spent around another hour or two in her own bedroom mindlessly watching a reality TV show wild snacking on a bowl of fruit. The entire time she thought about and planned out what to say to Korra.
Asami's hand hovered over the white, wood door in front of her. In a split second she moved from her bedroom to only be a thin surface away from Korra. She didn't want this to be any more difficult than it already was, so Asami thought back to what Mako had told her only two hours ago.
Push your pride aside so you can actually be happy.
So Korra can be happy.
Not another second passed when she at last knocked three times, softly. It opened, and Asami's heart skipped so many beats she swore she could have died on the spot.
"Hey." She forced herself to speak.
"Hi."
Korra looked well enough put together. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her face was clearly washed. Asami wondered how long she had been awake.
"Um, are you busy right now?" Was asked instead.
"Well no, I just called out of work for the day."
"You still called out?" The knot in her stomach tied tighter then, she smiled to Korra and herself.
"Yeah." Korra smiled back but hesitantly. "Since I would have been extremely late if I went in now, anyway."
The reasoning behind Korra taking the day off made Asami's smile disappear.
"Right." Her face dropped.
They were quiet for longer than wanted, both drowning in an uncomfortable silence. Everything that Asami wanted to say had suddenly vanished in her mind. The only thing she could focus on were the cold blue eyes just below her. They were narrow and solid. Korra scrunched up her face then spoke up.
"Okay ..." Korra grumbled with a sigh.
Korra attempted to slip past Asami, making her way out of the the bedroom until Asami gently grabbed her by the wrist. They locked eyes again. Asami could so obviously feel a tiny dagger slashing through her heart when Korra's face hardened at the physical contact.
"I do." Asami said surely, after a long moment of silence.
"You do what?"
She went quiet, licking her lips all while trying to get out what she should have said last night. She gave herself a small pep talk, and then just decided to go for it.
"Think that I have actual feelings for you."
"You think?" Korra wiggled her arm a bit to pull out of Asami's grasp. The action hurt Asami more than it should have. "It sounds like you're just saying that so I don't get upset, which I'm not."
She was, and Asami could easily tell. Her voice was harsh.
"No, that came out wrong. I-" Asami waved her hands vehemently then dropped them to her sides in surrender. "I know that I have feelings for you, Korra. I'm being serious."
"Wait, I'm sorry, what?" Korra fluttered her eyelids as if trying to take in her surroundings once more.
"Did I ... say something wrong?"
"No. I'm just-"
"Surprised?" Asami suggested.
"Uh, a little." She laughed quietly. "I basically stayed up all night convincing myself that you didn't feel the same way."
"Don't doubt me so much."
"Sorry, but can you really blame me?"
Asami bit her lip in embarrassment then forced a smile. "I guess not."
"Before you say anything else," Asami started again with dazed yet serious eyes. "I've never really been the person to see themselves with anyone. You know that things like this have never been easy for me. But if that were to be the case; me seeing myself with someone ... it would be with you." She took in a breath. "What i'm trying and failing miserably at saying is that ..."
"Yeah?" Korra encouraged hopefully.
"I- I want to be with you, Korra. Like be with you. When I think about you, it's much more different than when I think about anyone else. You make me feel something. It's the most terrifying yet greatest feeling I've ever experienced. And honestly, I don't want to let it go. I don't want to let you go."
The amount of sincerity that was leaving her mouth left her momentarily stunned. She would have never pictured herself to be in a situation like this one; spilling all of her serious, romantic feelings out to someone else. She felt like she was on her knees grobbling.
But the one thing that kept her going was that she wasn't just spilling out her feelings to anymore, it was to Korra. That fact alone made it all the more pleasant but also unpleasant at the same time.
"I hope you understand what I mean because I don't think I'm making much sense right now anyway." Asami blushed.
"I understand you." Korra said after a couple of seconds. Asami smiled brightly and noticed that her fingers stop nervously fiddling with each other.
"Thank spirits."
"Alright, so ... um-"
"No more talking now." Asami cut her off immediately.
Asami wrapped her hands around Korra's cheeks and pulled her into a soft kiss. Korra kissed her back with an equal amount of energy, both of them practically melting into each other's touch. Korra slowly moved her hands to grip Asami's waist and pull her closer, their bodies now pressed firmly against the other's.
Asami tried to pour out everything that she felt, everything that she chose to bottle up, into that kiss. Admitting the stuff that she could was difficult and hard to word properly, so she could only hope that Korra would fully understand what she truly meant with the kiss.
They stayed like this for several more drawn-out seconds. It was obvious that neither one wanted to break away, but there was still more to be said between the two. Asami reluctantly released their lips but still kept Korra's body as close to hers as she could - afraid that Korra would slip away from her again.
She gazed back at those beautiful blue eyes and couldn't help but be happy. Finally happy, just as Mako said. Asami took one of Korra's loose strands of hair and tucked it behind her ear, causing Korra to give her famous slanted grin at the gesture. It made her heart fly.
"Just saying, that was all really hard for me to accept and say out loud. So you're pretty special." She tried a joke.
"Then I'm proud of you. Seriously, I am. And not just because it benefited me."
"You're hilarious." Asami playfully glared. She felt the unnecessary nerves leaving her body faster than expected.
"I know." Korra smiled. "And one more thing."
"Don't say you're about to propose."
"No of course not!" Korra's eyes widened. She set herself back for a second before recollecting herself after the accusation. "Um, I was actually going to apologize for my sort of outburst last night."
"I'm not exactly sure why you're saying sorry."
"Because I was being was childish and hot headed and a quite frankly, a little embarrassing."
Korra's eyes darted away. Asami cracked a smile at her self-consciousness. It was adorable.
"I was the one who was being confusing, though, and stubborn with my own self. You had every right to be upset. I was sending mixed signals to protect myself." She shook her head. "I hardly even thought about how you were feeling."
"But it's not really your fault. For so long you've resented this kind of stuff and then I come out of nowhere and just poured a bunch of shit on you then acted out when I didn't get a clear answer."
"We both made things a bit harder than they should have been. It's different now, though."
"Yeah." Korra said as she fell closer into Asami's hold on her. "So you're not scared of anything bad happening?"
"No I definitely still am. This will take some getting used to."
"Understandable."
"However," She carried on. "Like I said, I'm not scared of being in some traumatizing uh, thing, I just really don't want things to go bad with us."
"Neither do I, obviously. And they won't."
She bit her lip, something she usually found herself doing when Korra made her nervous. Asami shook her head lightly. "You can't make promises like that."
"But I can." Korra protested strongly. "And you can't start off something that's going to be great with doubts or second thoughts. Remember when I told you not to push someone away that could be good for you?"
Asami nodded.
"I guess I was subconsciously talking about me." A very light shade of red formed on her cheeks and the tip of her ears. She closed her eyes and kept them shut for about two seconds, then opened them and showed Asami her yearning look. "Please don't push me away, Asami."
"I won't." She stated. And that was one of the only times in her life where was was three hundred percent certain on something.
Korra smiled in admiration. Asami leaned down a bit to press her forehead against Korra's. She moved her hands to grab Korra's, and had their fingers intertwine. A shock of electricity ran through her hands up to her arms.
"Spirits, we are so dramatic." Asami whispered with a giggle.
"Of course we are."
"Is this usually how you start off with being with someone?"
"Honestly, not at all." Korra answered." Usually we'd go on a few dates and just assume we liked each other so then we'd 'get together'. It's never been anything so important or a big deal to me."
Dates.
"Is this important or a big deal to you?"
"You're forgetting the way I poured my heart out to you last night. That I can say has never happened." Korra reflected.
"So in a way, this is kind of new for you, as well."
"Yeah, I guess so."
Her heart soared.
"Good. Now, we are finally on the same page." She continued to whisper, but more to herself than to Korra.
Asami let go of Korra's hands to pull her in for a tight hug. They wrapped their arms around each other, Asami placing her head on top of Korra's while the latter snuggled her head in between Asami's neck and shoulder.
She loved this. She wanted to stay like this; so close to her favorite person. Things were finally right between them. She told herself a million times over to not let her fear or pride take over again. This could and will be something great. Asami was sure of it.