I watch silently as nana walks the doctor out, after she had me to do a blood test, to identify the real reason behind why I had not been feeling well. She had confessed that at several times, she had wanted to ask for my permission to do a blood test, due to a time she had witnessed my hands shaking.
She held herself back from discussing anything with me, due to her looking for the right time yet she seemed to not find it. Receiving an urgent call from the Beta, about the Luna, this was more than the right time for her.
I didn't mind taking the test because after so much time, having passed, with the sensations and occurrences I experienced, in my body, I believe the time to identify it, will be good for me. For a moment, I had literally pushed all this at the back of my mind, especially at the first few days after what happened to my family.
I can't even say dead, because it would mean that I am taking their last breaths away, the silence would surely do the worst kind to me.
I still need to hear them breathing, in my dreams and anytime, the air decides to whisper in my ears, bringing their voices together like a beautiful lullaby. My soulmate and my offspring.
Gosh, my fairytale, my heart's treasure. They are everything I could ever want or need. Before them, I had nothing to live for yet I was living. They entered into my world and no longer, did I breathe at the cost of a borrowed life but I lived. I actually lived and I had a beautiful dream turned into reality, to look forward to living.
I saw colour and I saw life, true life, what more could a young woman like me, ever need.
" Is that a smile I see?"
My smile immediately drops and I am back in the living room, on the couch and alone.
" I was lost in thought, my apologies for not hearing what you said."
" No need to apologise, I saw a spark of something that I desire it remains." He says, coming over to sit on the opposite couch, so he is facing me.
" They make me smile. Joy fills my heart because of them."
A sad smile touches his face and his eyes drop to the floor.
" Memories of him are what I hang onto, I'm gripping on them so hard because I don't want to forget. I can't forget my brother." He shakes his head.
" He loved you. Both you and Evan were his brothers. He was the most certain, the most relieved, that you are his sister's mate. He didn't even need to worry because he knew that, you will always commit more then a hundred percent towards her."
I watch him shake his head a little before picking up his head, to look at me.
" I want to make him proud." He says, now back on his feet.
" He already is, never question that."
He sighs, running his fingers through his hair. By the clench of his jaws, I know that he is doing all he can, to swallow the overwhelming emotions, that want to take over.
" It hurts all the more, when I hear her cry herself to sleep at night." He admits, turning his back to me.
My eye being quick to notice my grandmother, about to enter the room, I shake my head slightly, politely asking that she give us a little privacy.
" Your presence gives her comfort."
" But why does it feel like I don't exist, like she can't feel me around her?... Kylie is my mate!" His voice rises a level, jerking around to face me again. " It's like she can't see me."
" She knows you are here and she wouldn't have been able to get through another day, without the feeling of you around her at such a time."
" I need to be there for her." He mumbles, not even looking my way.
" You are."
" I feel -"
" You feel pressure most of all." His head snaps to me. " You don't have to say anything or try to convince me otherwise, I know."
" I can't lie to you."
" And I never wish that you do."
He closes his eyes for a few seconds, needing a moment. Today, of all days, he is extremely overwhelmed by his loss and pain.
" I was a lost little boy with no family, I had no one but small treasured memories to go on with. He took me in, never once turned his back on me, he is like the brother I never had, no, my family." He says, though throughout, he breathed out the words.
His hands had long clenched into fists.
" Travis?" He looks at me.
" Come with me." A small frown plays at his features but I walk past him, in my own way, telling him to follow me.
I take him to the backyard, for a little exercise. Mica had made sure that the backyard was big, especially for when he wanted to let Ryker out.
" You feel pressured." I repeat my earlier words.
" Catherine." He mumbles, avoiding my eyes.
He knows that I am aware of what he is feeling.
" You feel pressure." I repeat once more. " You have to be there for your mate, you need to be present for your pack and there's more, that requires your focus and strength but within, you need a moment to breathe, to be vulnerable and for someone to hold you. You feel like you can't ask for that moment because you simply can't breathe."
I stand infront of him and reach out my hand to his arm. " Look at me Travis."
He doesn't as he tries to control his breathing. " Beta Travis look at me!" I demand, the Luna in me dripping off my voice.
Being left with no choice, he looks at me and I lock eyes with him.
" I can't have my Beta suffocated, do you hear me?....I won't let you be suffocated. You need to release."
He shakes his head slightly, struggling to grip onto his control.
" I am Mica's mate and we are one. Don't hear me now, hear him speak."
His body tenses at my words but I continue. " Hear me now, you need to release.......So Travis, run."
I sense his heart stop for a few seconds before beating again.
" Run Travis, like you've never ran before. Run and release."
For a moment he stares at me, not doing anything.
" Run." I release the word in a whisper and like he'd been set off, he takes off running past me.
I turn around to watch him run.
I wait and watch patiently as he runs from one end to another, taking a round of laps. Back and forth he moves, from me to the end of the yard.
I see him push himself harder, the more that string of emotion breaks little by little. I push back the tears when he struggles to continue and he collapses to his knees, in the middle of the yard. I walk towards him and the closer I get, I see his hands grip the grass and his breathing sounding laboured.
No longer do I hear the effects of him running in his voice but the sound of him letting go of all he held, within. His body begins to shake and I know that it's a matter of time before he lets go completely.
I kneel down beside him and reach out my hand to his back, by the feeling of my hand, a small cry slips out.
I close my eyes for a moment, willing myself to be strong for him and be a shield for him, at his most vulnerable time. I remain silent beside him, letting this moment to be his.
Hearing a grown man cry, is one of the most heartbreaking things to hear, more witness.
My eyes open when I sense another presence, I look ahead and I see Kylie standing at a distance, watching us. It only takes a few moments before she starts towards us, uneasily so.
Amidst the overwhelming pain she bears, she felt her mate troubled, she is here, at her mate's cry and call, for his soulmates comfort. Her presence.
I rise to my feet and walk away, letting her take over and be by her mate's side. At near entry in my house, I stop and glance over my shoulder, I see her wrap her arms around him and she joins him in letting it out. Being in each other's arms is more than enough.
A sense of relief fills me, that atleast, they have each other. They are each other's halves and both, shall be a sense of comfort one another.
" Join me for tea." Nana says, standing at the doorway.
" I'm a little tired nana." I say apologetically.
" Okay." She nods, touching my head and placing a kiss on forehead.
I offer a small smile before walking past her.
I head on to my room silently and laying on my bed. I pull my family picture close to me, resting my palm on the glass. The glass feels cool under my skin and a tear slips out, trailing down my face and serving as a reminder that the cold has seeped in around me from each corner.
The warmth is fading, little by little.
*******
I have taken my seat as the Luna today, it feels right yet wrong at the same time because he is not here to witness it.
I close my eyes for a moment, letting myself be in the present. I need to be here now, to be focused.
The sound of a knock on my front door has me sitting up straight and looking towards the door.
" Come in." I answer.
The door opens and a small smile takes over my face, when Travis, Evan and Cara enter. In hand, Cara carries a delicious looking and smelling chocolate cake, while Evan has a bouquet of beautiful flowers on his arm.
" An early birthday gift?" I raise my brow, teasing them.
" You are giving us ideas Luna." Evan says.
" We wanted to be here with you and officially welcome you to your office, as you take your rightful place." Travis says.
Cara places the cake infront of me and Evan follows with the flowers.
" Thank you for all of this, it is very sweet."
" So much has happened but it will not take away, the fact that this a good and deserving moment for you. It would have been better if we threw a celebration, like Mica would have wanted -"
" Oh no, no, it's okay." I shake my head.
" Okay, but still, we wanted this moment to be special for you."
" It is, thank you."
" I think you should blow the candle before it completely melts and we eat candle cake." Travis says.
" Candle cake, really?" Evan gives Travis a weird look while Travis rolls his eyes.
" Oh hush you two." Cara says.
I blow the candle and offer a kind smile when they start clapping.
" A small speech Luna." Evan says.
I playfully roll my eyes before saying something. " I don't have many words at this moment but I want to say thank you. This was truly thoughtful and your support means so much to me. Thank you for thinking of me and now lady and gentlemen, I have to get to work."
" Aaah, and the Luna has started kicking us out." Evan says teasingly.
I shake my head, chuckling at his words.
" Okay, let's leave you to it then, I have a meeting with a few warriors in training." Evan says.
" Assess with an extra sharp eye please, if you aren't satisfied as of yet, even with the smallest progress, don't go ahead. Many have seen a doorway because they see no alpha. They'll want to test us, play games with us and see if we can handle it.
They have placed vulnerability on our heads, for they see what is present before them and not within. We can't afford to let slip anything."
He nods, listening to my words.
" There might be competition among alphas, to see who comes up on top." Cara speaks up. " I've seen first hand how much a hungry leader, can hunt at the hand of an opportunity."
" Cara is right. Especially if they think they have an upper hand." Evan agrees.
" Remember that some of our men, are still among the packs. They haven't been given a heads up on the next move." Travis reminds us.
" We should call them back."
" Not at once." I say.
" You want them to stay a bit longer?" Evan asks.
" Is it because you want their ears on the ground, to maybe find out about the alpha and -"
" If I said yes, that would be too obvious, but no." I shake my head in answer to Cara's question.
" Surely you share the same suspicions that we have about what happened."
I know what Travis means, he wants us to share our thought and give out plans about our next move, based on our suspicions of my family being murdered.
I don't respond to his words and I see him frown. My silence has made him a little anxious.
" You do also believe that someone had a hand in all of this?"
I rise to my feet and walk around the desk, heading over to stare out of the window.
" Catherine."
He wants me to give him an answer, desperately so.
" Everyone in their right mind believes in this." I say before turning to face them. " But I am a little crazy."
" Okay, I'm a little behind now." Travis says with a confused frown.
" I don't quite understand."
" The little you understand of me, the better." The words release from me, not voluntarily might I add but through influence.
She has influenced my words.
She knows that I haven't spared a moment to open our door of communication, so she took a chance with invading in my space.
" We take what we can get Luna." Cara speaks up.
" Don't give out word at once to our men, to return. This may give those who are aware of our act, to think that we are withdrawing our weapons all at once."
" A minimum of three to four in each week." Evan suggests.
" Two to three, the first time. While I'm gone I mean."
" You've decided to go to that meeting, haven't you?" Travis says.
I nod.
" But we haven't received any further notice after they postponed. They are still yet to decide on the right date. " Evan says.
" They are waiting on our send off, in respect of our pack." Travis answers Evan, but I answer them both.
" At a table with half of the room, being where our alliance lies, respect is what a few may still give."
" They have witheld information from us." Cara says, being quick to hear my words.
" Shit." Travis mumbles. " I had my suspicions."
" We are vulnerable in their sight, we are distracted and are weighed down by mourning."
" Someone wants alpha Mica's seat." Cara points out.
" And the first to arrive, claims it." Evan says.
" Unless we make it there first."
" No, we run our own race, always remember that." I intervene, before they think too far on this.
They all nod.
******
~ flashback ~
' Papa, give me your word on how to keep my foot steady in a room full of alphas.' I asked papa.
He grows silent for a moment before he gives me an answer.
' Never be the first to break eye contact. Remember that you can never be too prepared, the walls have ears too and each of those seats, will be filled with individuals presenting their own level of wisdom.
Break through points that target yours and Catherine?"
' Papa?'
' Remind your brother that there is no family at the table.'
' I might have to duct tape him then.'
He chuckles.
~End of Flashback.~
In a room full of many alphas at the table, you don't just barge in but I do it anyway. Well, I mean to say that Travis had fun doing the honors for both us, opening the door and letting it hit the wall. The door slamming against the wall and it's echo throughout the room, surely woke some of them up.
" I believe you are in the wrong seat alpha." Travis speaks up in his Beta voice, face expressionless.
As predicted, one of the alpha's has taken the honours of warming up the seat.
His name is alpha Gage, he is the alpha of the BlackNight pack, a strong pack indeed but sometimes not United in direction at war.
All eyes are on us, we have certainly heightened the level of tension in the room.
" Says who?" He challenges, quirking his brow. " I see no alpha."
" Alpha Gage." One of the alpha's says in warning, being respectful to the fact that it is still a sensitive time for our pack.
His act is commendable truly, but we aren't here in sensitivity but in attendance as Alpha Mica's representatives, the voice of our pack.
" No, alpha Johnson, Alpha Gage has made a point, a valid one. We see no alpha, but the Mystic Range pack's second in command and its Luna." Another alpha says.
" Point of correction alphas, leaders of the Mystic Range Pack." Travis answers.
" Okay then, leaders. We only recognised one leader here and that is alpha Mica but now he is gone." Alpha Gage says with a grin on his face.
He is swimming in his own sense of amusement.
" Again alpha, point of correction, you only recognised alpha Mica because he was an available presence at these meetings. I do believe that most of you were present when he introduced his mate to our nation." Travis says.
" And what does that have to do with anything?" He scoffs.
" When a mate is mated, they bear not only the matemark but they are joined as one. Luna Catherine here is Alpha Mica's mate, she is one with him and therefore.....Oh but you can finish the rest." Travis ends off almost in a sing song tone, sounding almost as if he is bored with this discussion.
"That's nonsense, no Luna has occupied a seat in this very room."
" You mean in your view no Luna should?" Beta Travis questions so loud and clear.
" Why should they, when we are all here?....We aren't dead like your alpha."
I am quick to lock eyes with Travis before he could react. He holds his emotions down.
" Alpha Gage, I think that's enough, you are crossing a line." Alpha Dane speaks up, who is Stephanie's old alpha.
" They crossed the line when they barged into this room like two uneducated people, who don't know their place. I mean come on, this is a joke -"
" To you of course." I speak up for the first time, silencing him. " We are a sight of entertainment to you and we are pleased to have given you something to gossip about with your girlfriends, but now we want to get back to business, we've delayed enough now."
" Watch your tone Luna." He lets out a small growl, narrowing his eyes at me.
" And watch your language alpha." I say in a much sharp tone, never breaking eye contact with him. " Now, in address to everyone in the room and to make everything clear, well, in the interest of our very vocal alpha here." I gesture to alpha Gage, who is fuming right now.
" Listen here -"
" You've taken too much of our time with your unruly tongue, disregard to our mates positions and utter disrespect to the memory of an alpha, who you took the seat he occupied and made a mockery of it. I think you need to go back to training boy!" Ronan speaks up for the first time.
He has been trying to hold himself but he couldn't last any longer and now, Alpha Gage has jumped to his feet and he looks like he is about to jump across the table and get his hands on Ronan.
On the other hand, Ronan looks unfazed.
" How dare you -"
" Don't start crying now alpha, you brought the tune, now dance to it."
" Alphas stand down!" One of the oldest alphas speaks up, the authority he witholds being impossible to ignore.
Silence literally takes over.
" The manner in which the introductory of our 3 day council, is completely uncalled for. We are leaders, not only by name but our actions. This, is not it." The alpha continues.
With the room filled with silence, he turns to me.
" The Luna, no, a leader is standing among us, not seeking recognition but is here in attendance as a leader. Her mate, the alpha is no more unfortunately, but that doesn't mean that is the end of a pack."
" There is no alpha." Alpha Gage points out, well more like stresses.
" One leader doesn't make up a whole pack alpha. It is the most common knowledge said in training, should we agree with what alpha Black said, that training needs to be redone again?....I mean if there is any trace of amnesia we are unaware of."
" Don't insult me alpha." Alpha Gage says in warning.
" Oh you are one to talk alpha Gage, we've beared witness to your uncontrollable tongue. We've travelled from afar and some of us need some time to relax, now come on, let the lady take her seat."
" And by seat, we do mean the one her mate occupied." Alpha Dane adds.
Alpha Gage, despite wanting to say something, he leaves that seat and goes on to the empty seat that has been waiting for him to occupy, since he arrived.
I internally sigh, walking over to stand infront of the chair.
I nod to the few that had spoken, who sit back down.
I speak up again.
" In address to all the leaders here, firstly, our apologies for the late arrival, notice for this week's council had been delayed we believe. Now, Beta Travis and I are fully aware that this may be a little unusual but in complete trust, in us as the voice of the Mystic Range Pack, alpha Mica has issued a decree that I, Luna Catherine shall be head, in all alpha affairs.
Beta Travis shall be my helping voice in anything that may require more then one thought, in decision making. "
As I speak, Travis takes out all the copies of the decrees and I give him the go ahead, to distribute them around the room.
" As you can see, all in his voice and his sound mind, has done this. Now as I am among you leaders, I stand here not in claimed position but have been positioned, in the seat of responsibility, as you all are.
I, along with the Beta are here as the voice of our pack. We lost one of our own but we are not finished. As the voice, we have no intention of being silenced or nursing anyone's feelings." I say, passing an eye at alpha Gage at the last sentence.
I then take a seat and also open the file that has the decree.
" This is not the battlefield where wolves can be let loose. This is the three day council, where we discuss our North Side business. I don't think anyone needs a reminder for that.
As one of the alphas said, for most of us, it has been a long travel and it is just an introductory, I don't believe any further delay will produce productivity and healthy outcomes, for when we do depart.
Infront of you, as handed to each individual is the voice of Alpha Mica, his decision and his decree, as a leader among leaders, may I question if there is any hand of objection?
But be warned, we might be here a little longer and I, personally, would like my deserved beauty rest.
I am a lady of course."
By a quick glance of my eye Ronan's way, I see a proud grin play at his lips.
************************************
She is a lady of course 😍😍😍😍😍.
She took the place of Mica at the meeting,he was supposed to go to.
Tell me your thoughts and thank you for your patience.