<OST: It's You - Chungha>
"No one wants me..." Jieun brooded as she walked along the pathway, kicking stones along the sidewalk. "No one has any time for me at all..."
"Lee Jieun...?"
"I'm not her-" Jieun covered her face instinctively, trying to get away from the male fan standing before her, refusing to make any eye contact. "You've recognised the wrong person."
"No-" A familiar chuckle filled Jieun's ears. "Jieun-noona, it's me."
Jieun looked up, her hand still shielding her face. "Oh-?"
"Hello-" Taehyung giggled as he bent down a little to meet Jieun's eyes. "Looks like our little celebrity over here is getting way too popular to even chat with me now."
"No, no, no-" Jieun burst into laughter as she hurriedly put down her hand. "Sorry, I thought you were a fan... I've been getting recognised way too often nowadays."
"Of course, your channel has been doing so well these days-" Taehyung winked. "I'm subscribed, noona. Don't forget that I was your first fan - the first person who uploaded a picture of your work onto my Twitter account."
"Of course, how can I forget?" Jieun managed a smile. "I still have you to thank for a lot of things."
Taehyung grinned. "Well, I have you to thank for helping me reconcile with JK too. Anyway, how's he?"
"Him...?" Jieun let out a deep sigh. "Don't even talk about him."
"Why-" Taehyung laughed. "Did you guys fight again?"
"No, it's just-" Jieun sighed. "Ah, forget it. You won't understand."
"What do you mean?" Taehyung chuckled. "Why? What did he do this time?"
"Nothing," Jieun groaned. "I just- I just haven't been able to talk to him or hang out with him as much as I usually do... and I'm really frustrated about that."
"Ah-" Taehyung nodded slowly, finally understanding the situation. "Concert prep."
"Mmhmm."
"Well-" Taehyung pouted. "I know it must suck to have to pretend to be okay in front of him because you don't want him to worry about you, but that's just the life of a celebrity, you know what I mean?"
"I know, I just-" Jieun sighed again. "I'm just bored for now, but I'll get used to it one day. But other than that, there's also the issue of having to date in private. Well... after all, I'm also somewhat of a celebrity right now... we'll both have to adjust to this type of lifestyle eventually."
"Have you guys never thought of dating publicly?" Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought the whole motto of your company right now is to live freely... but keeping your relationship a secret, that's not exactly living freely, is it?"
"I..." Jieun shrugged. "You're right - to a certain extent, I guess. But we're not hiding our relationship now because we're afraid... we just don't see the need to mix up our private lives with our public lives."
"But the problem you were mentioning earlier-" Taehyung frowned. "That's kind of something that can be made better by going public with your relationship, is it not? The only reason why you have to go visit him in private at his studio all the time is because there might be trouble if people see you in public. If you go public with your relationship, you don't have to fear that anymore - whatever schedules he goes for, or wherever he goes... you guys can be together openly. Isn't that much better?"
"To a certain extent, yeah-" Jieun nodded slowly. "But do you really think it's feasible...?"
"I mean, I have no say in this but-" Taehyung hesitated. "I feel like if I were in your position, I'd want to date openly."
"I had this same conversation with him months back when we first started dating and that whole video saga happened..." Jieun sighed. "We're both conflicted about it... on one hand, I guess we both wanna date openly but on the other, I guess we're still not too sure if fans will be accepting."
"Ah..." Taehyung nodded slowly. "I guess that's a legit concern."
Jieun nodded and let out a deep sigh.
"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you and JK will work things out!" Taehyung smiled as he patted Jieun on the shoulder. "Things will work out well, noona. Don't worry."
"Thanks, Taehyung-ah-" Jieun managed a little smile. "What about you? How has things been for you recently...?"
"Well-" Taehyung shrugged and let out a small chuckle. "It's been messy, not gonna lie. Ever since I filed for the lawsuit with my company for the shady things they've done over the past few years, things have been really tough."
Jieun sighed loudly. "I guess no company is perfect, after all. I thought BG Entertainment was bad, but Gold Entertainment really isn't any better. Any plans on what you're gonna do after this...?"
"I'm intending to join BTS Entertainment-" Taehyung said with a small grin. "Once the whole lawsuit is over... I'm gonna ask Min sajang-nim to take me in. You think he'd want me...?"
"For sure-" Jieun laughed. "Of course he'd want you, you're doing really great in the music scene these days. But other than that, your acting career has really been taking off, don't you think? You're such a talented artist, of course he'd want you."
"I don't mean that-" Taehyung laughed. "I meant whether he likes me as a person... he always seemed to have something against me or something, ever since the first time we met-"
"Oh, that...?" Jieun burst into laughter. "Well, that's for another reason, Taehyung-ah. You really don't have to take him seriously."
"Ah, I know what you mean-" The corners of Taehyung's lips curled upwards a little. "Because I'm close to Jennie...?"
"You hit it on the nail-" Jieun smiled. "You know how he is - he's not someone who expresses himself easily with words... but when it comes to showing it, it's really obvious. I wonder why Jennie doesn't see it."
"Well, excuse me, ma'am... but you don't exactly have a right to criticise her or whatever-" Taehyung nudged Jieun playfully in the shoulder. "You were oblivious to Jungkook's feelings for a huge portion of the time he liked you as well..."
"Come on, mine wasn't even nearly as bad..."
"Oh, yes, it was-" Taehyung scoffed. "At the 'Love House' filming...? I was already noticing things that threw me off - JK claimed to be dating Jennie but he kept hovering around you... I was like- is there something I don't know about...?"
"That was when he first confessed to me-" Jieun laughed. "At that exact place, at night. But at that time, his confession only made me more nervous, because I was afraid about how he would react when he found out about my true identity."
"Well, he told me something different-" Taehyung hesitated. "He told me he had feelings for you way before that... so for that whole time, you were oblivious."
"He did...?" Jieun furrowed her eyebrows. "When did he say he first started liking me?"
"Well-" Taehyung shrugged as he looked down at his watch. "I'll leave that for him to tell you himself one day. For now, I have to go, alright? Take care, Jieun-noona!"
"Ya! You can't just leave me hanging-" Jieun frowned. "Ya! Kim Taehyung-"
"See you!" Taehyung grinned as he waved goodbye to Jieun. "Some things are better off being heard from the person who said it... That way, it'll have more impact. Fighting, noona!"
Jieun raised her eyebrows as she watched Taehyung hurry off, deeply curious about the exact moment Jungkook had fallen for her. For the few months, Jieun had never actually asked him about this, and had always assumed that the time he confessed was when he first started having feelings for her. But now, Taehyung was claiming that it was long before that.
Jieun's interest was piqued.
-•-•-
Yoongi looked up at Jennie.
"I'm sure you know this by now... but I used to be the type that when I felt down, I'd always keep things to myself," Yoongi began, sorting out his thoughts slowly as he went on. "I never had expectations of anyone, not even myself. I shut myself away from the world, fearing that if people found out about my past, I'd be ostracised, ridiculed and turned away. And that was the way things were for a long time. I hid myself in baggy clothes, wore a cap and sunglasses everywhere, not wanting to show myself to the world. I thought that as long as no one could see me, I'd be safe and I would not be judged.
"But one day, without any warning, you just came into my world. It was disorienting at first, and left me feeling confused at many times. At the beginning, because I wasn't used to someone always being there for me, I pushed you away - I was afraid. Since you seemed to take such a liking towards me, I always wondered how long more it would take for you to get disappointed. In the past decade, I had so little interactions with everyone around me that I never had to worry about this for a long time... but then you came along and I found myself worrying about it all the time. So I told you the truth as soon as I could, so that you could leave me before things got too serious... but you didn't.
"You distanced yourself from me for a while but ultimately, you always believed in me. I was shocked, to say the least. It baffled me, and I couldn't believe that someone would actually accept me for who I am even without knowing the full story... but you did - you stayed. And as much as I wasn't accustomed to having someone around me, I didn't hate it. Maybe, secretly, it was a companionship that I had been longing for for the longest time... and I just didn't know it. You soon became one of the most important people of my life... in what almost seems like the blink of an eye.
"You know, when I first heard about the news that I was given the opportunity to continue with my studies overseas... surprisingly, I wasn't happy. The first thing that struck me at that point wasn't about getting used to the new environment, it wasn't about what I'd do with this company I only recently started... it was about you. I didn't want to leave your side, and the desire to stay by your side and be with you for the rest of my life, was way greater than I had expected. I decided not to tell you - not because I wanted to hide things from you, but because I had already made up my mind to stay by your side. The idea of not having you by my side scared me more than it should.
"But you found out, anyway. I wanted to brush it off, pretend like it never happened... but that didn't seem to be what you wanted. You kept insisting that I left, and I couldn't understand why. I kept wanting to explain how I felt, how I wanted to stay here with you, and that I don't think I could stand five years apart from you... but from beginning to end, I couldn't get the words off my tongue. I was frustrated and angry, not with you... but at myself. I took it out on you and that night, I spontaneously made the decision to leave.
"I really was going to leave. I sat in the airport for three whole hours earlier in the morning, waiting for my flight. That's when I recalled what you had told me the day before, about your interview. In the entire time we have known each other, not a single time did I leave out any interview of yours. I put on my earpieces and watched your interview, completely unaware about what it was going to be about.
"It was about me, wasn't it? It was about me, I know it. Just... the way you talked about a person being your safe haven, and not knowing what life would be like without them... it couldn't be anyone else but me. Those words that reflected my own thoughts hit me like a brick. It snapped me back to reality, it made me wonder... what on earth was I doing, going overseas to fulfil my supposed 'dream' that I barely wanted just because I was angry? What was I doing, all these years, holding back myself because I was afraid? You like me so much, and so do I... why was it that we couldn't be together? So many years have flown by since what had happened before and I claimed to have gotten over it all... but I really was finding excuses for myself.
"The truth was that I hadn't. I was taking two steps forward, then one step back. I wasn't constantly improving as fast as I thought I was... The truth was that I wanted to believe that I was all over it and I could finally live my life the way I wanted to again... but my actions didn't add up. If I had really moved on, why was I still pushing you away when you were clearly someone I wanted to be with...? That interview woke me to my senses... and so I missed my flight and stayed."
Jennie was in tears at this point, she couldn't even believe her ears.
Yoongi tried to continue. "I..."
"I'm sorry," Jennie exclaimed, as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry for not wanting to talk to you too. It was clearly my fault, it was clearly on me for asking you to go... Just like you, I kept on saying that I'd wait for you but perhaps, inside of me, I still secretly hoped that I could be a special someone to you - the way you are to me. I keep thinking of my problem as a crutch, as something that might be holding back... when in actual fact, no one cares for me the way you do. I spoke to Jieun-unnie yesterday, after our argument... and she told me that you may not express yourself well but your actions always show how much you care - I finally understand that now."
"I..." Yoongi sighed as he reached down and picked up Jennie's hands in his. "I'm staying for sure, Jennie - I'm never gonna leave your side ever again. The opportunity to go overseas to continue my studies is definitely a great one, but it was never something that I definitely had to achieve, considering how happy I already am right now - with you, with the company, with all the new friends I've made. All this cannot have been done without you, and the same can be said for me - I can't do without you."
Jennie let out a small sob.
"Don't cry anymore, alright?" Yoongi managed a little smile as he wiped away Jennie's tears with a thumb. "From now on, let us both be true to ourselves. For you, I want you to stop feeling like a burden... because you are not. And I want you to never forget how much I really care for you. In the meantime, I'll work hard to really get over my past... and express myself better - the way I am communicating with you right now. As long as we take steps towards each other - no matter how small the steps are... we'll find the person we've been searching for one day... in each other. Okay?"
Jennie nodded vigorously as she buried her head in Yoongi's chest, her eyes squeezed tight as she sobbed softly. "Okay."