CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR
"a smashed bottle of pumpkin juice"
In the early days of November, Hollis mainly just slept. Pomfrey had her taking a dozen potions a day, along with rolls upon rolls of white bandages being discarded after being quickly soaked through once wrapped around her calf for a few hours. Remus had prolonged his stay in the hospital wing for as long as possible before Pomfrey kicked him out on the second, while James and Sirius only last a day before Pomfrey realized they were just being overdramatic. The only ones left in the hospital wing now were Hollis and Regulus. The seventh-year boy would get out on the third, one day before Hollis.
The two Slytherins spent most of the time they weren't sleeping talking.
Just after dinner on November third, they were having a particularly deep conversation.
After Remus had left, Madam Pomfrey had moved Regulus over to the bed where the Gryffindor had been to condense her patients. They were both currently lying with their backs flat on the stiff mattresses and looking straight up at the towering, carved stone ceiling above them. Hollis had gotten Remus to find her his Gryffindor sweatshirt and was currently drowning in it, while Regulus was wearing a light blue tank top and grey sweater over it that the hospital wing had provided.
"I just don't think that anyone, even your brother, would ever really get it, you know?" Hollis asked, tracing the ceiling's intricate patterns with her arm extended above her. "Because I think Sirius left Grimmauld Place just before things started to get," she trailed off for a moment. "Before things started to get really bad."
Regulus smiled sourly.
"You mean my snake of a brother managed to worm his way out of all this pureblood bullshit before they started to recruit Death Eaters and started making arranged marriages official?" Regulus specified with a biting tone.
There was a small pause as Hollis thought about how he had put this.
"Well, if you say it like that," she muttered. "And what is with you and Sirius calling each other snakes?"
Unseen to Hollis, Regulus raised both eyebrows while an echo of a smile formed on his face.
"He called me a snake?" Regulus asked, curious.
Hollis cringed a little bit, but confirmed what she had said.
"Yea, he has on multiple occasions. It's a bit odd, you two use a lot of the same insults," she smiled. "And am I wrong that your brother is the one who taught you how to braid?"
Two thoughts shot through Regulus's head.
How the bloody hell did she figure that one out as well?
He's not my brother.
He chose to voice the second one.
"Sirius isn't my brother anymore," Regulus told Hollis coldly.
The Rosier tensed up at these words and propped herself up on her elbow so that she could look at Regulus more closely.
"What do you mean?" she asked, a frown on her face.
Regulus turned towards Hollis as well to look her in the eye as he said this.
"I mean that Sirius made the decision to leave the Black family forever when he ran away two summers ago," Regulus said, his eyes completely frozen over. "When he left, he also left his brother and lost that title, not just escaping the legacy or our fate."
This just made Hollis go even deeper into thought.
"But do you not love him?"
Regulus smirked slightly at her and raised an eyebrow.
"Do you love Evan?"
That made Hollis partly see where Regulus was coming from, but Sirius and Evan were two very different people. Sirius was generally kind and loveable, while the Rosier was not. Regulus saw this not fully convinced look on her face and continued.
"I think that I tried to love him, Hol," he explained, sighing deeply. "I think that there was just too much placed upon us by our mother and father for us to grow up healthily. You know how it was."
They both thought of that day when Regulus and Evan were eight and Hollis and Sirius seven. Orion had lost his temper, and the small scar on Hollis's forearm from where she pushed Sirius out of the way was still there to prove it.
She rubbed her right forearm where the scar from the shard of wood was lightly.
"Yea, I know."
Regulus's features turned from soft and sad to hard and angry in an instant.
"But if you ask me, running away was one of the most cowardly things that anyone I know has ever done," Regulus spat, looking at the stone floor with such intensity that he could have set it on fire. "Sirius is spineless fool."
This made Hollis frown even deeper.
"No offense, Regulus, but you're wrong on that one."
His fist clenched slightly from under the sheets so that she couldn't see, but she saw the tension rising in his shoulders.
"Sirius did what was best for his own happiness, at a point, that's fair," she emphasized quietly.
Taking a deep breath, Regulus attempted to gather his whirring thoughts.
"Just stay with me here for a second," he said, sitting up all the way against his pillow. "You said Sirius did what's best for his own happiness?"
Hollis nodded with hesitant confirmation as she sat up all the way as well.
"Yea, fuck that," Regulus seethed aggressively. "He was too weak to stay like you did."
Hollis shut her eyes briefly at where he was going with this.
"He was too goddamn weak to suffer through what you have! He ran away because he couldn't handle it anymore! He is a fucking COWARD who couldn't even push through for his own brother! Yeah, he's the younger one, but only by a year! We were always in it together, but he threw that all away for Potter! And he hates me for it, too! How? Why? How and why is any of that fair?"
Regulus's chest rapidly fell and rose at how worked up he was getting. It was clear this anger had been brewing for a while.
"Look at you, Hollis! Scarred and forever that way because of what your parents did to you! And the whole reason you pushed through all of it was for someone else."
The Slytherin let these words sink in.
"And he was too weak to ever do a fraction of what you had for someone else. Only ever thinking of himself."
Hollis had only a pair of thoughts dancing through her mind.
He's right, Sirius was being so, so selfish.
If I could run away, I would too.
"But, honestly, Regulus," she whispered, looking him right in his watering eyes. "You can't tell me that you've never wanted to run away either."
He reluctantly nodded.
"But don't you think that at a point, we have to choose our own safety over the happiness of others?" Hollis asked in a small tentative voice.
Regulus's brows furrowed and he stared at her with slight disgust.
"That is the most hypocritical thing you have ever said."
She tensed up again at these words.
"I'm trying to just see from Sirius's point of view here, Reg," Hollis replied with an even softer tone. "We both know that it's impossible to take our own advice."
Even though Regulus knew that she was right, he wouldn't let himself agree out loud. Frustrated, he threw his legs out of bed and started to pace beside Hollis's bed.
"Just don't even try to defend yourself this time," he told her with a cold tone as she opened her mouth again to speak. "The amount of stupid selflessness you have is going to wind up killing you!"
She leaned back slightly at his now loud tone.
"Stop it Regulus," she whispered, now standing up on her mostly healed leg as well. "Just stop it." The tall boy walked even closer to her as she stood.
"I can't stop it, because you can't be fucking tortured for other people anymore!" Regulus shouted angrily.
Unknown to either of them, Lily, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter had just walked in to the hospital wing with a small cake they had smuggled from the kitchens to celebrate Sirius's birthday with her.
"Well no bloody offense, Black, but I don't exactly have much to loose at this point!" Hollis shouted back, her eyes watering slightly.
Regulus felt his fist clench again.
"Well some of us don't want to lose you!" he roared back, and Hollis felt a tear trickle down her face at how loud his voice was. "One more day in that goddamn library and you would have DIED!"
"STOP IT!" Hollis screamed back, hot tears now racing down her face. "YOU KNOW WHY, YOU KNOW WHY I HAD TO STAY! YOU KNOW WHO I HAD TO PROTECT!"
Now Regulus was crying too.
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" he sobbed, grabbing Hollis's hand in his. "I WAS TERRIFIED, HOL!"
Hollis's shoulders were now shaking with tears, the pressure racking through her whole body.
"I WAS TERRIFIED THAT ONE DAY I WOULD STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YOU WOULD BE DEAD!"
The bottle of pumpkin juice Marlene had been holding dropped out of her hand and broke across the hospital wing floor with a crash.
you guys i loved writing this SO MUCH
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