After the disaster that was Christmas, we decide to stay in to ring in the New Year together without distraction. And thus far, it was shaping up to be everything I was hoping it would be. "Josh." Maya giggles as my lips trail down her neck, my hands circling her waist as I pull her away from the edge of the bed. "We need to get up. At this rate we'll miss the ball drop."
I scoff, urging my wife onto her back; her blue eyes meet mine as she hits the mattress and stares up at me. "It's not even noon." I argue, "that's twelve hours."
"Yes, and knowing the way we are, if I don't leave this bed now then I'll let you talk me into spending all twelve of those hours in this position."
I raise an eyebrow at her, skirting my hand from her waist to the apex of her thighs. She squirms, trying to keep her expression blank to give the impression of being unaffected but I notice the slight hitch of her breath and the way her lips part if only for a second before they press back into a fine line. "If it's the positioning you're worried about. I'd be happy to switch it up."
Rolling her eyes, she reaches underneath the covers and grabs my hand. "Josh. C'mon. It's the first New Years that I'm actually going to remember. I want to spend it doing all the cliché things; noisemakers and champagne, a toast at midnight...maybe a kiss."
I hang my head, my hand retreating to rest on her hip. "Today means that much to you?"
"It does" she nods, "But I'd be willing to compromise...you know, if there's anything else you wanted to do today." Staring down at her, I'm sure that the only thing I really want to do today is spend every waking moment making her happy. And if that means leaving this bed, well there'll be more opportunities in the future...maybe even after the clock strikes midnight if I'm lucky.
"Maya, there is nothing else I'd rather do than make today perfect for you. Whatever that means."
"Really?"
Chuckling, I lean down to press a chaste kiss to her lips. "Really" I reassure you. "So, besides noisemakers and alcohol, what else did you have in mind?"
***
We've somehow ended up in a very competitive game of Uno. I'm unsure how it happened or how long it's been since I've had so much fun playing a simple card game, but I can't seem to stop laughing all the while my adorable wife grumbles, throwing out expletives every time I make her draw four.
Which has happened at least three times.
"Are you sure you shuffled the deck? Or that the cards aren't marked?" She turns her card over and begins to analyze it for marks.
"I assure you; I'm playing fair and square."
"Mhm" she hums, reaching for her drink and taking a long swig, nearly emptying the flute. I retreat to the kitchen to get the bottle to refill. However, when I return and move to pour the drink into her glass, "I'm good for now." She insists, placing her hand over the rim. "The last thing I want is to end up drunk off my ass making you spend your new year holding back my hair."
"Okay" I smile, placing the bottle beside the table and returning to my hand of cards. Play continues for the next half hour or so until finally she bests me, throwing her last card onto the table in victory. I roll my eyes at her dramatics, reaching for my drink and taking a long sip.
"I told you I didn't rig the game."
"Whatever." Pushing off the floor with the use of the coffee table, she walks back to the shelving unit to the left, her eyes scanning the names of the games we keep on hand at all times. "Hey." Looking over her shoulder, her hand pointed above her head, she looks at me. "Can you get this one?"
Scrambling off the couch, I walk over to her and my eyes are able to see the game she's too short to reach. I immediately shake my head. "Maya. No."
"Why not?" She pouts, "what's wrong with it?"
Thinking of the promise I made her this morning, I sigh. "Nothing in particular" I admit, lifting my hand to my neck. "But the way we play..." Her eyes find mine, widening slightly while her eyebrow raises slowly in intrigue.
"Are you serious? Babe, it's marketed for six and up!" Maya exclaims, "there has to be a way in which it doesn't end up...sexualized."
"If there is, we haven't found it" I retort. "There is a reason it was banned at my brother's house."
Rolling her eyes, she turns her gaze back onto the game closet. "Fine." She huffs though if that determined look in her eye is any indication-, "I'll get it myself." She insists, strutting across the room and into the adjoining dining room to retrieve a chair. My eyes immediately go wide as I rush after her.
"Maya!" I shout, placing my hands over hers on the chair as soon as she gets it off the ground. "Are you insane? You could seriously hurt yourself."
"On a chair?" She jolts back, taking the chair with her and furrows her brows. "Josh, even if I fell, it's a couple feet off the ground. I'd be fine." Turning away from me, she brings the chair over to cabinet and places it down evenly before hoisting herself up.
I wander into the room with my arms crossed. "Just...be careful." I say finally.
"I'm always careful" she mutters though quiet enough for me to think she was hoping I wouldn't hear. She gets her hands on the game box and yanks, only instead of just the one game coming out, the one on top begins to topple. "Ah!" She shrieks, moving to cover the top of her head while I race across the room, picking her up off the chair just before the game crashes onto her head.
"What did I say?" I demand, holding her against me only vaguely aware of how hard my heart is beating.
"It was an accident. And it wouldn't have done any lasting damage-."
"You don't know that" I argue, my hand smoothing over her hair. "When are you going to understand? The thought of anything happening to you-."
"Josh." Her hand cups my cheek gently while the other holds the game she annoyingly retrieved despite everything. "You're going to have to loosen the reigns eventually. And you need to trust that I won't do anything that'll put me in the way of serious harm."
"Eventually" I concede, "but not today."
Chuckling, she leans in and kisses me. I savor her wine tinted lips, increasing the pressure of my hold around her waist successfully pulling her closer-. "We should get the game set up" she murmurs, her lips leaving mine.
I sigh, my concession on the tip of my tongue before I get an idea. "If you're going to force me into this game...let's put a wager on it."
"I didn't take you as a betting man" she replies, giggling softly. I smile, nudging her nose with mine.
"Only when you're the prize" I admit earning a blush in return. She bites hard into her lip, "if I'm right and this game is impossible to play innocently...you let me take you back upstairs."
"And if I win?" She counters.
"Whatever you want." I reply immediately. "...which is what?" I inquire.
My wife purses her lips. "Whatever I want?" I nod and her smile morphs into a smirk. "Deal." She says without offering her wager. I decide not to press it though considering I know I'm right.
There's no way to play this game innocently.
***
Maya blows out a breath of frustration as she stares at the spinner meanwhile I quite literally can't stop laughing. She's been taunted by the spinner to place her right hand on a red dot one of which is completely out of her reach while the other would put her hand on top of mine. "I hate this game" she grumbles.
She moves her hand to cover mine and I decide to play nice, scooting my hand out from underneath hers to give her some space on the dot. Her questioning eyes meet mine. "If I win. I'm winning fair" I smirk, moving to spin the wheel.
Left foot blue. Easy enough. It's just...through Maya's legs. "This game" I mutter, moving my foot to position it between Maya's parted legs. I brush against her left calf and just barely hear her sharp intake of breath. "Having fun yet?" I tease. She ignores me and spins again, and play continues like this for a bit until-.
"What happens if neither of our resolves break but rather our bodies do the breaking?" My wife asks, panting after leaning back to place her hand behind her.
"I suppose that would be considered a forfeit."
"Josh." She exhales shakily and tumbles onto the mat beneath us, her body curling into a ball. "I wasn't expecting you to be such a good sport" she admits, moving her hair off her face with a sweep of her hand. "I thought for sure you would've been especially teasing."
"I told you I was gonna play fair" I reply, shrugging as I sit back onto the mat across from her. "You seemed determined to evade my advances anyway." I add, tucking my arms beneath my legs as I hug them to my chest. "What was it that you wanted to win?" I ask curiously. "It must've been pretty good to play so hard."
Casting her eyes to the mat beneath us, she inhales shakily. "I wanted a conversation." She murmurs. I furrow my eyebrows.
"What are you talking about? We talk all the time."
"Yea, but..." She slowly lifts her eyes to meet mine. "There's a few things...like therapy...and the wedding."
"Okay."
"I don't think I wanna do therapy anymore. I-I feel like we're in a good place both personally and romantically speaking-."
"I mean, we've cancelled enough appointments" I chuckle, "may as well make it official. What about the wedding though? Are you having second thoughts?" I ask, my nerves doubling but Maya's quick to shake her head.
"No. Of course not." She insists, "it's just...I've seen the pictures of our first wedding and it was this gorgeous, grand affair that I wish I could remember but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to recreate it. In fact, something small, with our family and friends right here in our backyard sounds better than perfect."
Looking between her eyes for any hint of a lie, I find nothing besides an uncertain smile as she waits for my response. "Baby, this is your day to remember. You have my absolute support to do anything and everything you want. Okay? Just tell me when and where I need to be, and I'll be standing at the end of the aisle waiting for you."
"Yea?"
"Yes!" I exclaim, taking her face between my hands. "Maya, whatever makes you happy will make me equally as so. I love you."
"I love you too" she murmurs, leaning forward to capture my lips with hers as expected I'm quick to kiss her back, parting her lips as we both fall back onto the Twister mat. "Guess you were right after all" Maya smirks, pulling away with her arms on either side of my head. "Wanna go upstairs?"
"Right here will work" I smirk, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head before connecting our lips once more, tucking her hair back behind her ear as the kiss deepens and Maya starts toying with my belt. "Eager?" I tease. She cuts me a glare as the casts my belt aside and resumes our kiss, unzipping my jeans and plunging her hand underneath. I groan, grabbing her waist and flipping her over in a flash, her breath catching as our kiss breaks and she's left panting beneath me.
"Trust me?" I ask. She nods slowly and I smirk as I reach over her for the Twister box...our edition a little different than normal. I had suggested purchasing it as a joke one afternoon at Target but Maya, ever the adventurous one in our relationship, had been serious, tossing it into the cart without another word.
"A blindfold?" Maya asks as I produce the fabric from the box. "You're insane."
"You used to like it."
"Being engulfed in darkness when I could be looking at you? I don't understand how." I laugh, resting my weight on one hand beside her head.
"Is that a no?"
"I didn't say that." My laughter continues as I move the fabric towards her. "Just...no surprises."
"I wouldn't dream of it" I smirk, tying the fabric around her eyes. She squirms underneath me, her hands unsteadily reaching out to trail across my arms. "No touching" I scold, reaching for another blindfold and tying it around her hands. She pouts as I place her hands above her head. "Good girl."
I can sense her eyeroll without seeing it. "Is this really what we're into? I can't imagine the appeal-." Her words die on her lips as soon as I wrap my lips around her breast. "Oh." Chuckling, I do the same to the other while my hands work the fastenings of her jeans.
"I'm gonna finish undressing you" I tell her. She nods, her chest rising and falling quickly as I do as I've told her, leaving her naked underneath me. "I'll be right back, okay?" I check, starting to climb off of her to retrieve the necessary protecting from the bathroom.
But her hand wraps around mine.
"No. Stay." She insists. My eyes widen though she can't see it. "We don't need it."
I swear, I've heard her wrong. "Maya-."
"Josh." She retorts. I reach down and take the blindfold off her eyes and find her blue orbs glossy. "Is the part where you tell me I'm insane?" Her voice breaks on a sad laugh. "Because I know how it sounds, it's only been a handful of months since the accident and I don't remember a damn thing of importance-."
"But you feel it...that feeling of wanting something so bad that it physically pains you? That feeling of wanting that makes it impossible to think of anything else?"
"I'm beginning to" she nods, a single tear falling down her face. "Our families are wrong. About us, our marriage...kids."
"You're really sure?" I ask, untying her hands so they're free to wander. She places them both on my face.
"I'm really sure." Reaching up to kiss me, I return the pressure of her lips but take my time in savoring the moment; licking across her bottom lip to deepen our kiss and exploring her mouth like it's our first kiss. "I love you" she whispers as I kick my boxers off and onto the floor.
"I love you more" I reply, gathering her in my arms as I connect us, vaguely aware of the clock striking midnight in the distance.
***
"I can't imagine there's ever been a better New Year's." Maya hums, lying on my chest while we watch the California ball drop, having had missed all the other time zones. I smile, kissing the top of her head sure that she's right about that.
I can't remember ever having any holiday better than this. An evening of board games, shenanigans, and serious conversation...though I'm still having trouble convincing myself that the last conversation we had was real and not some heat of the moment fantasy. "Josh?" Glancing down at my wife I find her eyebrows knitted together in worry. "Is everything okay?"
I use my fingertip to smooth over the wrinkles in her brow and smile reassuringly. "Everything is perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in our new year and that's all thanks to you."
"You give me too much credit." She argues, "all we did was play silly kid's games and-." Trailing off as she thinks of us sprawled out on the Twister board, her cheeks flush.
"Try for a baby" I offer. She sucks her lower lip into her mouth. "Regretting it yet?" I check, eyeing her warily. She pushes off my chest and sits crisscross beside me. My heart sinks into my chest; I had been teasing but maybe...maybe I'd struck a chord.
"What if I'm a terrible mom?" She asks though, taking me by complete and utter surprise. "What made me think I could be a good mom before...before the accident?"
Moving my hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, I exhale slowly. "Well," I begin, "you didn't." I admit. "Neither of us knew if we'd be good parents but honey, no one knows that. All they know is that they want to try their best and give their kid the life that they deserve...in some cases, the life a parent wishes they would've had."
Nodding along understandably, a soft exhale leaves her lips. "Having my dad leave at such a young age...I remember how hard it was on me growing up" she averts her gaze as her voice trails off before continuing, "did I ever think that history would repeat itself?"
"Sometimes." I confess gently, "but then I would remind you that there could never be a reason for me to walk away from us. That I would fight every damn day to be the man that took the vow to love and cherish you for as long as we both shall live."
"I'd say you aced the 'or worse' part" she jokes through tears, her hands reaching out to cup my cheeks. "I know that staying after our accident wasn't easy but-."
"Maya." I interrupt, "my love, to stay with you was the easiest decision I've made in my life. You're my wife and with you is the only place I ever want to be. I love you so damn much."
"I love you too." She agrees, pecking my lips before I fold her into my embrace and squeeze her tight with no intention of ever letting go.