A doctor comes in and quickly runs some tests on you, ensuring you don't have a concussion. He disinfects the cut on your forehead, bandaging it.
"You will have to get a CT scan, just to make sure your brain tissue isn't at all damaged. Besides that, you're all set. I'll be back in a few minutes to wheel you out, but you'll need to put this on." He places a gown on the end of your bed. You nod, looking over at Aaron as soon as the doctor leaves.
You pick up the gown, holding it in your hand. It looks skimpy. Hotch begins walking towards the door, but you stop him.
"Can you, um, turn around please?" You ask. He nods quickly, standing up and turning around. The last thing you wanted was to be alone right then.
"A CT scan?" You ask, nervousness in your voice. You sit on the edge of the table, your legs still a bit shaky. You begin unbuttoning your shirt.
"That's what he said" he keeps his face to the wall, respecting your privacy.
"I've never done one before," you admit. You slip the shirt off, pulling the gown over your front. "Will it hurt?"
"No, no it won't hurt" he assures you "it's just a bit loud. You'll be in and out."
"Oh," you say simply. You're a bit embarrassed for being scared of something so routine. You take off your pants, leaving you in just the gown. You reach around to the back to tie it, but your arms are too short.
"Hotch?" You sigh, knowing what you have to do. He lets out a hum in response "will you help me with these?"
He turns around, an obvious surprise on his face.
"Don't be weird about it" you scold, heat rising to your cheeks "I just need you to help me tie the gown." He nods, walking up to you and beginning to tie the back.
You feel a heat rising to your cheeks as you realize he can see the backs of your bra and panties. He doesn't seem to notice, or at least he doesn't say anything. He just ties the straps and goes back to sit down.
The doctors come in to wheel you to the scan. You feel nervous. Hotch walks next to you. Without thinking, you reach up and grip his hand. His fingers are course, almost calloused. He wraps his hands around your fingers for support.
"Scared, agent?" He asks. You squeeze your eyes shut.
"Me, scared? Of course not, don't be stupid." He just laughs.
The scan is loud, but just as he said, over with quickly. You make your way back into the room. And sit in a comfortable silence until the doctor reenters.
"Well, our signs show she does not have a concussion," the doctor says "so she just has to fill a release form and she's good to go! Just make sure she takes it easy and drinks plenty of water." You notice he's talking to Hotch, not you.
"Is there any way I could fill out the form? I just want to get her out as quickly as possible. It's almost cute.
"You can, only if you're her significant other." The doctor explains.
"I am. Could you get me those release forms please?" The doctor nods, stepping out of the room.
"Oh, so you're my significant other now?" You can't help but grin.
"Shush, I'm trying to help you." He scolds back.
"Whatever you say, honey." He just rolls his eyes at you again.
The doctor brings his forms back and allows you to change, and just as quickly as you got in, your back out again. You and Hotch walk out into the hospital parking lot, quickly finding the SUV. It was getting dark, the sun setting. You climbed in the passenger side and buckled before he started driving.
"We should probably talk about what happened earlier," you say after a moment.
"You had to do what you had to. You got out of there without being shot." He keeps his eyes on the road. You look out the window.
"You, you get it right? That I was trying to build a connection with her. I don't actually..." your words trail off. He gives a small nod, and you sit in silence.
The simple fact that you both chose to ignore was that there was truth to what you had said.
The car ride is quiet and admittedly a bit awkward. You arrive at the airport, watching as the team boards the jet.
"I'll be there in a minute. You should probably go in" he says, his deep voice breaking the silence. You nod, getting out of the car and up to the jet stairs. You watch as he drives off.
"Hey, it's lover girl!" Derek welcomes you as soon as you get on the jet. You roll your eyes, plopping down in a table seat.
"So, you and Hotch, huh?" He sits in the seat across from you.
"Shut up Derek. I was just held at gunpoint, I'm pretty sure I deserve at least a 'hello' before the teasing starts."
"She right, Morgan" JJ scolds. She sets a hot cup of coffee in front of you, sitting across from you "how did the hospital go?"
"Pretty well. I'm concussion-free!" You say, giving a light smile.
"Did you know Kurt Vonnegut died of a concussion at 87?" Reid asks "he fell down a flight of stairs.
"Who the hell is Kurt Vonnegut?" Derek questions.
"He was a famous writer" Reid states as if an obvious answer, "he wrote satirical counterculture pieces."
"Well, I'm glad your alright, y/n" Emily offers, patting your hand comfortingly.
"Yea, that secretary broad hit you pretty good" Rossi adds, not taking his eyes off his newspaper.
"She did." your fingers trace the now bandaged cut around your forehead.
"She also made you sing like a bird. Quite a show." Derek throws his head back in laughter.
"I was building a connection with her Derek." You defend yourself "I used her name repeatedly, made her feel in control, revealed an embarrassing secret, gave her a way out. I built an alliance with her so she wouldn't perceive me as a threat and she would let me go. Textbook hostage de-escalation technique."
"Why Hotch? Why not chocolate thunder or boy genius?" Emily asks.
"He's my boss," you say simply, taking a sip of coffee "she was in love with her boss, the man she worked for. If I was going to build a connection, it would make more sense to say him because she would relate more to it."
"Y/n, you're a lot of things" Derek states "but above them all, you're a horrible liar. I was looking at you when you said all those things. Seemed pretty truthful to me."
"Well, I suppose when there's a barrel of a gun against your head, you learn quickly." You shoot back.
"There's no reason to be embarrassed, y/n," Spencer attempts to comfort you "Bosses generally serve as role models and inspiration in the office. Combine with the fact that Hotch is considered an 'alpha male' and you have a pretty good recipe for female attraction."
"Spencer, I don't-"
"She did what she had to do to keep herself from getting shot. I suggest we drop the subject. We caught the unsub, there's no need to relive the case." Everyone goes silent, slowly turning their heads to the doorway. As you suspected, Hotch is standing against the doorway.
"Hotch, how long have you been standing there?" Emily asks.
"Probably too long" Rossi chimes in, unbothered. He flips a page.
"Long enough" Hotch corrects, sighing. He takes a seat by Rossi on the other side of the plane.
You roll your eyes, looking over at the team, who all snickers a bit.
"Whatever" you mumble, putting on your headphones.
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The flight is quiet. The team falls asleep quickly, all shifting and snoring quietly in their chairs. Since you slept a bit in the middle of the day, you aren't tired. You keep yourself occupied by reading.
You hear Hotch shift in his chair, getting up and walking over to you. He sits down on the couch beside you.
"How are you feeling?" He asks, his voice quiet as to not wake the rest of the team.
"I'm still not sure" you admit. You close your book, setting it beside you before turning to look over at him "she would've killed me, you know. If you hadn't come. I would be dead right now."
"We didn't save you" he corrects "you saved yourself. You got yourself out of the situation. You arrested the unsub. You should be proud of yourself."
"I don't feel proud of myself" you sigh, shaking your head "I mean, I should've been alert. I should've sensed something, seen her coming. I could've fought back. The whole thing could've been avoided."
"Agent, we aren't perfect people. Sometimes it's hard to identify a threat before it happens. But the important part was you read the situation and got out of it. That's what makes you a good agent." His eyes are calm but direct.
"I don't know if I'll be so lucky next time" you sigh, tears welling in your eyes. What if you had died? What if everything you had worked for was for nothing. Maybe death was closer than you had thought. You danced with it every day as if it was nothing.
"You learn, y/n," he says gently, putting his hand on top of yours "that's part of the job. You don't come in knowing everything. You learn something new with every case. And next time, you'll be better prepared. And, even if this happens again, the team is always here for each other."
"How do you do this?" You gulp "how do you face death and not be bothered by it?"
"You don't," he says simply "most people on the team bottle the fear. Try to deal with it on their own." You're unsure how you never seemed to notice it before.
"Is that what I should do?" You ask.
"No. You're not like them. You shouldn't make the same mistakes as the rest of us" he sighed, shaking his head.
You feel tears well up in your eyes, making your vision blurry. You couldn't help it. You bite your lip, refusing yourself the ability to cry.
Before you know it, you feel Hotch's arms around you. He wraps them around your body, pulling you closer to him. You return the hug, wrapping your arms around his waist while tears stream silently down your face.
Crying in his arms twice in two days? Really? You felt embarrassed, but you clung to him, hoping to steady your frantic mind. You heard his steady heartbeat and felt yours align with his.
"You're going to be fine, y/n. It's normal to feel this way, and it's healthy to get it out" he assures you. He places his chin on the top of your head.
"I- I'm sorry" you mumble, your voice shaky. You sigh and bring up your arms, wiping away your tears.
"Don't apologize" he says. He removes one arm, keeping the other around your back. You lean your head against his shoulder.
"Thank you, Aaron" you say gently. You feel your eyes start to close.
"You should get some sleep, y/n. It's been a long day."
"Can you, stay? Maybe?" You ask. You hate how needy your words come back, but he nods. You feel his head fall back against the seat.
You feel your eyelids start to close, his light breathing lulling you to sleep.
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Hey guys!
I'm sorry this one is a bit short, but I've been brainstorming a lot for other chapters and I promise the next one is gonna be special!
Please comment and vote and as always I hope you enjoyed
Lots of love 💘
-s