Two months.
Two months in and I feel like running.
What is wrong with me?
I knew before we moved the things they do, the way they are, I love all of them, I love Yoongi, I love my moments with them.
I hate the loneliness.
I hate wasting my days away in the oversized empty house by myself while they handle business and I just sit there. We even have a cleaning service, so every time I even decide to tidy up, it's already done.
After being alone for so long, busting my ass working overtime and working my fingers down to the bone for just a one bedroom apartment, how am I supposed to adapt to this new life of luxury and boredom?
I don't mean to sound ungrateful.
I should be happy I don't even have to lift a finger, but I also hate the solitude. And Yoongi doesn't help much. I understand that for the first few weeks after they had saved me from Tod I wasn't ready to have sex again, but when did we hit the point that he had stopped trying? He didn't ask. He didn't give me more than a peck or a hug and I was itching for him to touch me, but every time I worked up the nerve to tell him he was asleep, or out on a job. I hate it.
I even offered to start helping with the business, that was immediately shut down by Gia. I should have known my 'mom' would interfere. I don't even get a proper chance to see her anymore, they're all safer here, but they're also a lot busier too. And if I want to leave the house?
I have to ask permission.
I need to ask Yoongi, and he always says yes, he isn't controlling or being an asshole, it's for safety purposes, I get that. But aren't three bodyguards and a driver just a bit much?
I think it is.
But the last thing I want to do is argue, especially when I feel like my mental health and my relationship with Yoongi is basically dangling on a tight rope made of dental floss.
Not even the really good mint kind either.
The cheaper wannabe mint dental floss, that's what my health and relationship dangle on. Christ, that's comforting.
"What are you moping around for?" Jungkook asked with an attitude as he walked into the kitchen, I was sitting at the table staring into my cold cup of coffee and thinking about my life and what my next step should be
"I'm bored" I shrugged "I'm running out of things to do while you guys are gone"
"It'll calm down soon, it's only this busy because we were gone for so long" he shrugged before downing a bottle of water
"Kookie?"
"Hmm?" He threw the bottle away
"Can we go out? Like the mall? Or lunch or something?"
"What makes you think I want to hang out with your annoying ass?" He scoffed
"I can be more annoying if you say no" I smiled
"No" he turned around so I jumped on his back like a spider monkey clinging to his chest and waist
"Koooooookie pleeeeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee I loooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuu" I sang in his ear
"Get off of me!" He failed around but I held on tighter
"Kookie! Please! I'm so bored I'm gonna die!"
"Then die already!"
"You're so mean!" I started to pretend sob in his ear as he started laughing and playfully trying to get me off his back
"Alright! Alright! Let me call Yoongi and as-"
"No! I don't want a driver or fucking bodyguards! Just me, you, fried food, and shopping. Please kookie? Please?" I pouted "you can protect me with your muscles and gun if you have to. I'll even bring my new Sig, just please don't call Yoongi. He won't get mad at you, I'll take all of the blame"
"Something tells me this is a horrible idea" he groaned "but fine"
"Yes! God I fucking love you!" I kissed his cheek and let go, landing on my feet and happily skipping my way to the bedroom to grab my Sig and attached it to the holster on my hip.
"This one!" I gasped as I dragged a grumbling Jungkook to another store to find something else I don't really need just to distract myself from the line of dental floss I've been teetering on for two months. For the first time since I stepped off of the plane, I felt content. I felt relaxed and happy as I took all of my frustration out on Yoongi's debit card and Jungkook's hand as I dragged him around. At one point he was laughing and trying on clothes, that made me even happier. I know I don't actually annoy him like he says, I know he loves me, and hanging out with him is easy.
Easier than spending time with my boyfriend actually. And that's a sad fact that I'm not ready to confess out loud.
Jungkook went to look for more clothes while I stopped at Victoria's Secret to look for lingerie that might excite Yoongi and get him to realize that I need him to pay attention to me, I don't want to seem needy, but I'm craving him so bad. He either doesn't see it, or he's purposely avoiding it, neither of those make me happy.
"Wow, you would look beautiful in that!" The woman next to me exclaimed as I held up a lacey one piece
"Thank you" I blushed and she smiled, as she put down the underwear that was in her hand and extended her hand for me to shake
"I'm Aubrey" she smiled "nice to meet you"
"Ally, nice to meet you too"
"Are you here on vacation?"
"I moved here actually with my boyfriend and our family" I smiled as I picked up a few more lace lingerie in different colors "you?"
"Me too, moved here I mean" she smiled as she pushed some of her brown and silver hair behind her ear "my daughter and I moved here maybe a month ago. My ex-husband and my son passed away so we needed a fresh start" she smiled wide
"I'm sorry for your loss" I frowned and patted her arm comfortingly
"Not your fault" she shook her head "it's nice to run into someone from the states, it feels a little isolating sometimes doesn't it?"
"Oh my god, yes!" I rolled my eyes "big time"
"Would you be interested in exchanging numbers? I know I'm a bit older, but it might be nice to have coffee sometime. You're around the same age as my daughter too" she smiled wide with hope in her eyes
"Of course" I giggled as I pulled out my phone and took down her number, I texted her so she could save my number in her phone. We talked until I paid for my stuff and we went our separate ways. Jungkook and I got some food from the food court before heading home, laughing and talking the whole way to the house.
It was a perfect day.
Until we made it inside the house.
A very angry Yoongi was standing in the living room, his tie undone and his suit looking less than ready for a meeting.
"Where were you?"
"I went to the mall with K-kookie. It's not his fault, I begged him to take me and not to tell you p-please don't be mad" I felt my lip quiver
"Our room. Now." He practically growled as he stormed off, I looked at Jungkook but all he did was send me a half smile and a shrug of his shoulders before patting my back and walking away. I swallowed a lump in my throat before walking towards the room, I opened the door and stepped in before putting my bags down onto the floor
"Babe, I'm sorry I didn't call you. I just didn't want to go out with bodyguards and a driver, I wanted an afternoon of normalcy. Please don't be mad at me"
"I'm not mad" he sighed as he took his suit jacket off and undid his tie "for two months, you were with Tod, for two months I had to keep tabs on you from afar, we finally get you back, I try to keep you safe and you do something fucking stupid and reckless and drag my youngest brother along. I'm pissed Allyson, not mad"
"Stupid, and reckless? Are you fucking kidding me? A trip to the fucking mall with Jungkook who need I remind you has killed people with his own bare fucking hands is fucking stupid and reckless? I understand that you were scared when I was gone, hell you can't even fucking touch me anymore! But going out with Jungkook isn't going to get me fucking killed. We both even had our guns on us! You have our locations! You have a fucking camera in the car! Seems pretty fucking safe to me!"
The feeling of the dental floss snapping ran through my chest as I yelled.
"I can't touch you anymore?" He shook his head and let out a chuckle "you flinched every time I tried, I knew you needed time and I gave you time. All you had to do was say 'Yoongi I'm ready' and I would have fucked you on the spot no matter where, when, or who was around. But the last thing I was going to do was force it on you like Tod did, and that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand"
"Well you try going from working all day and night every day and working your fingers down for a shitty one bedroom apartment and being all on your own and then thrown into this lifestyle and see how quickly you adjust"
He unbuttoned his shirt revealing his inked pale skin to me, his little happy trail a little longer than the last time I had seen it.
"You didn't have to come. I didn't ask you to come. You chose this, you wanted this, and I made it happen. So excuse the fuck out of me if it isn't living up to your expectations"
"Fuck you Yoongi, God I fucking hate you sometimes" I wiped a tear from my cheek as I took my gun out of my holster and unloaded it before sticking it back in the drawer
"The feeling is mutual babe" he said from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist, I didn't flinch away, hoping he would get the hint that I was ready "I'm sorry" he sighed "I just worried when I realized you were gone without any of our men"
"I needed some normalcy Yoongs, I'm sure you can understand that right?"
"I do" he kissed my cheek
"I get tired of sitting here by myself. And.. I miss you" I almost whispered that last part realizing how I sounded like a vulnerable little girl, he chuckled against my neck before he kissed it softly
"I miss you too, things will slow down soon"
"I hope so" I mumbled as I rested my hands on his that were wrapped around me, he hummed as he swayed us from side to side and kissed my neck again, I tilted my head giving him more access to my skin as he kissed up and down my neck tightening his hold on me "Yoongi" I mumbled
"Hmm?" He nibbled on my ear lobe making me hiss as I tightened my grip on his hands
"Fuck" I whispered as I clenched my thighs together "please"
"Only because you asked nicely" he chuckled as he moved his hands to the waistband of my jeans, he unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down before sliding them off my hips along with my underwear, I stepped out of them as he lifted my shirt off over my head and unclasped my bra, once I was naked he snaked his arms around me again pulling my bare back against his bare chest "are you sure?" He asked as he cupped my breasts and kissed my neck again
"Yes" I tilted my head and reached behind me to pull on his pants, before I could get them past his hips he pulled away from me and pushed me onto the bed, I laughed when I hit the mattress with a bounce "not fair" I pouted
"Life isn't fair" he chuckled as he slid down his pants and briefs, finally letting me see his long thick cock that I've missed so much, I was practically drooling as I watched him walk towards me "You're seriously going to catch a fly in your mouth one day and I'm going to laugh my ass off while you choke on it"
"Gee thanks babe. You're such a sweetheart" I snorted making him laugh as he hovered over me and pushed my hair behind my ear
"I missed you" he leaned in and kissed my lips while I wrapped my arms around his neck
"I miss you too" I whispered against his lips before he leaned in and kissed me again, the second he slid himself into me, I gasped and relaxed into his touch as he stretched me out in the best way "Yoongi" I gasped as I threw my head back pushing it into the pillow, he groaned as he reached for my hands and held them over my head and pinned them to the mattress
"Fuck" he hissed as he leaned his head down and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth as he began thrusting slowly, he released my nipple and nuzzled his face into my neck keeping his thrusts deep and slow as he sucked my skin and nibbled it making sure to leave his marks on my neck, making me moan and tighten my hands around his as he pushed himself up more to look into my eyes as he kept thrusting and moaning
"Oh God Yoongi, I'm gonna cum" I bit my lip as I tried to keep my eye contact with him, failing as my orgasm slowly crept over me, it hit me hard as I clenched and unclenched around him, feeling my bliss drip between us as he kept his slow and strong thrusts going, not wavering even once.
I knew he wanted to fuck me into the mattress, but he was also obviously holding himself back, showing me his emotions as he slowly continued stroking my gspot with his cock and making sure that I was as okay as I had said. It was slow, but it was so fucking powerful. And it was so fucking good.
The both of us sweating, moaning, panting, and whispering each other's names in between cursing and I love you's. His hair was sticking to his forehead and I could tell by his stuttering breaths he was close as his thick cock became impossibly thicker and began twitching against my walls that were sucking him in and milking his cock as I hit my second orgasm and called out for him to end the glorious torture of slow amazing sex
"Mmmm shit" he hissed as he nestled his cock as deep into me as possible and I felt him fill me with his release as he lowered his face between my breasts and released my hands allowing himself to drop down on top of me as I brought my hands around him to rub them up and down his sweaty back tensing his muscles under my touch "that was the slowest most vanilla sex of my life"
"Well whose fault is that?" I snorted making him laugh as he pulled out of me and laid next to me, pulling me in tight and holding me
"Mine. But I didn't want our first time since..to be rushed or make you feel like I only want your body"
"You mean I'm more than a cum rag now?" My joke of a question was answered with a hard slap to the thigh making me yelp as he laughed and kissed my sweaty temple
"You're such a bitch"
"And you're an asshole" I giggled "but here we are" I laughed and tried to bury my face into the pillow
"I missed those after sex giggles more than I wanted to admit" he smiled against my skin as he kissed my shoulder blade
"We're gonna be okay right?" I mumbled softly
"We're gonna be okay" he nodded
"I hope so" I smiled before rolling over to face him and kissed his lips softly.
I hope so.