CHAPTER FIFTY
"just some gryffindor"
For several minutes, all Remus could do was lean against the stone wall just outside the square portrait and stare at the empty space where Hollis was just been standing, the music of the party muffled yet audible through the cool wall. That music seemed like it was from nights, even weeks ago. In a single second, everything that was steady in his world had gone haywire.
Why did I kiss her? Remus asked himself over and over again, running his hands through his hair in stress. Then, remembering Sirius's gift, he pulled the stress ball out of his pocket with a wry smile. He hadn't anticipated having to use it this soon.
He knew that he couldn't just stand out there forever as if it would make her come back around the corner. With a sigh, he grabbed a peach from the portrait's tree and stepped back inside the hidden, still very full, room where not a single thing had changed.
And if I hadn't been such an idiot, Remus thought, grabbing a shot of firewhiskey, then nothing would have changed for me either.
Sirius and Lily watched with concern as Remus took a loaded shot, mild desperation for the alcohol to relieve him somehow in his movements. However, James was more concerned that Hollis hadn't come back with Lupin after they left the room in a heated rush than his friend's alcohol intake.
Punch bowl - J
The four boys all quickly excused themselves from their various conversations and made a hurried path to the bowl, previously spiked with Giggling Brew by Hollis and Marlene, pumpkin juice mixture.
"What happened?" Peter asked anxiously, glancing back behind him at Alice and Dorcas, whom he wanted to get back to as fast as possible and continue their discussion on goblin rights. Sirius watched quietly as Remus was quiet for a few moments, a bad feeling rising in his stomach.
"Remus, what did you do?" James asked, cramming his hands into his pockets.
"I kissed her."
Sirius spit out his pumpkin juice back into his glass, while James started to have a sudden fit of rapid coughing. Peter blinked a few times before shaking his head.
"I know," Remus sighed, holding his face in his hands and then dragging them down his scars. "I know."
"Well was it at least a good kiss?" Sirius asked.
Yes, Lupin thought easily, his mind flashing back to that little, sweet breath she had let into his mouth. Oh my god, yes. Of course it was. It was her. How could it not be?
"What was a good kiss?" came a cheery voice from behind them.
Marlene and Lily both stood between Sirius and Peter curiously, having overheard their discussion as they were reloading their cups. Lupin's lips were parted slightly in disdain as looked at the new group of five people around him.
"Yea, let's just tell the whole school, why don't we?" he drawled, eyes slightly narrowed as he looked at Sirius.
"Tell us what?" exclaimed Lily, now much more curious than she was when Marlene originally dragged her over. Before Remus could cut him off, Potter told Lily, eager to do something that wouldn't make her mad for once.
"Remus kissed Hollis," James blurted out, and Lily and Marlene's eyes simultaneously widened as their heads turned to each other.
"You did what?" they shouted unintentionally at the exact same time. Lily just stared for a few more seconds, an uncomfortable feeling rising in her chest.
"Explain yourself."
.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+
Laying down underneath her black covers, Hollis stared up at the emerald green hangings above her. She felt like her necklace was going to strangle her, the chain getting tighter by the second. "Hey, are you ok?" came a small whisper from the bed beside her.
Turning over to her left, Hollis looked back at Narcissa's grey eyes.
The two of them had never been very close due to Narcissa's prejudiced pureblood beliefs, but being in the same dorms for five years, they had some form of civility towards each other. With all the Hollis's Slytherin relationships, it was a sort of I owe you because you were nice to me system; she was now known amongst the purebloods as an insufferable, traitorous rulebreaker.
A few weeks ago, Hollis had found Narcissa crying in a spare classroom while taking notes for the Map. She had sat with Narcissa for an hour while all of the stress of O.W.L. prep poured out of her, listening carefully to every word and replying with the perfect balance of comfort and reassurance. So now she owes me, thought Rosier slightly sourly. I blame our parents for making us think like this.
"Just some Gryffindor," Hollis whispered back before rolling back over to the other side of her bed.
Some Gryffindor. Some Gryffindor who had just kissed me, she repeated to herself over and over, still trying to grasp that it had actually happened. She lightly touched a fingertip to her lips, trying to get over the fact that his mouth had been there.
And she hated herself for wanting it to happen again.
Not at all because she didn't want to kiss Remus, god, she could do that for hours upon hours and still want more. It was because the last thing that Hollis wanted was for him to get hurt.
No person who was not raised in a manner like the Rosiers or the Blacks had been could quite understand what the violent obsession with purity was like to be raised around. Hollis had seen and heard of parents putting their own children under the Imperius Curse so that they could continue the pureblood line; no one could sympathize without experiencing.
There was a girl that was sixteen when Hollis was nine that used to come over to Rosier Manor and watch Hollis while her parents and Evan were away. That girl had been dating a Hufflepuff boy, and little Hollis had loved to hear about all of their fun and romantic stories together. One day, she came to watch over Rosier sobbing and holding a newspaper clipping. The Hufflepuff boy that she loved so dearly had been killed in a tragic hiking accident with his muggle parents over Christmas Break. At the time, nine year old Rosier hadn't quite understood what had happened, but now she did.
And the last thing that Hollis wanted was for Remus to disappear.
She didn't care what her parents inflicted on her as long as he was safe. She could survive as long as he was there to be her motivation. She knew that only one person could fully understand what was happening, one that saw both sides like she did, one that was still living in both sides.
Hollis threw the covers off her legs and put on a Slytherin sweatshirt. He would be brutally honest, and that was exactly what Hollis needed.
1.2k words