Chapter 21: Reckless
Trigger warning: panic attack (Kind of)
I woke up in Charlie's arms. He had taken to staying in my cabin since Dmitri called on me more often for medical emergencies. We often woke up together like this, me in his shirt and my underwear, and him completely naked because that was how he was most comfortable.
His eyelashes splayed over the bottom of his eye's orbit. His face was completely relaxed; the lines that usually marked his face, like the crease between his eyebrows, were smoothed out. Freckles were splattered over his nose and his cheeks, making his pale skin seem tanned from far away. I brushed my fingers over the stubble that lined his jaw. He had just shaved it short, so it was prickly.
Charlie inhaled deeply before groaning as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. After a few moments, he opened his eyes to meet mine, warm and light like honey.
I pressed a few light kisses on his jaw before wriggling from his grip to go to the bathroom. He whined after me, but I ignored him.
As I was washing my hands, Charlie barged into the bathroom and pressed against my back, his arms wrapping around me as he tucked his head into my shoulder.
"You couldn't have waited until I was out of the bathroom?" I asked, tilting my head to the side when he left kisses in the crook and drying my hands on a towel.
"No," he answered quietly and pushed against me as he bit down on my skin. I moaned softly and placed my hands on the sink to brace myself, watching him through the mirror above the sink.
"I've only got a few weeks until I go back home," I told him as he rocked his hips against my ass, making me chew on my bottom lip.
"I don't want to talk about that," he murmured and trailed a hand between my legs.
"Charlie," I moaned and let my head fall back onto his shoulder as he slipped his hand into my panties and rubbed circles over my clit.
"I don't want you to leave me," he muttered and kissed the side of my neck. His fingers traced precise circles onto my sensitive bud. I pressed my body into his and sighed.
"I don't want to either," I said breathily, "but I have to take my final exams."
"Skip them," he said arbitrarily.
"I can't. Fuck, Charlie," I moaned and rolled my hips into his hand.
"Drop out," he suggested and tugged at my panties so that they fell to my ankles.
"You know I can't, Charlie," I said as he ran his hands over my ass.
"Why can't you stay home with me? It's not fair," he muttered childishly as he ran the tip of his length through my folds. I whimpered and pushed my hips back, feeling him grab my hips to stop me.
"Life isn't fair. Merlin, Charlie, just fuck me already," I whimpered.
Charlie grunted and complied, lining his length up with my entrance and slowly pushing into me until his hips were flush against my ass. I sighed and let my head drop down toward my chest. Charlie's pace was slow, but his thrusts were hard, each one pushed me into the sink so that my hip bones ached as they repeatedly were pushed against the porcelain. One of Charlie's calloused hands held tightly onto my hip, his fingers digging into my skin hard enough to bruise, and the other made its way to my hair, tugging on it.
My walls clenched around his length with each thrust as my legs threatened to give out from under me. He released my hair and slid his hand around my body to rest on my throat, turning my head to the side to capture my lips in a rough kiss. He groaned and pulled back.
"Look at me," he demanded gruffly and directed my head forward. I met his eyes through the mirror and whimpered quietly. Charlie held eye contact as he slipped his hand between my legs to rub quick circles on my clit.
"Charlie," I moaned as I reached my climax. My eyes slid shut as my body tensed under Charlie's stimulation.
"Keep them open," he said, digging his fingernails into my lower back. I struggled to keep eye contact with him, watching as he sped up his thrusts and hit his climax. His mouth dropped open and his eyebrows furrowed.
Charlie slowed his movements as he rode out his high, leaving me trembling from overstimulation. His hand dropped from my clit and he steadied me as he disposed of his condom.
He spun me around and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll make you some breakfast?" he proposed and ran his thumb over my flushed cheek. I nodded and watched as he left the bathroom. My knees still felt wobbly, so I was careful as I cleaned myself up and pulled my panties back on.
I approached the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen island to watch him. As in watch his ass.
"Hey," he said and set a bowl of oatmeal in front of me.
"Hi," I responded with a giggle. I threw his briefs at him over the counter. "Put something on."
He rolled his eyes playfully and pulled the briefs on before leaning on the counter.
"Do you work today?" he asked me as he cut strawberries in halves.
"I'm helping Dmitri reorganize the storage room later purely out of the goodness of my heart, but no," I answered and stole a strawberry off of the cutting board.
"Want to go for a walk then?"
"Sure," I agreed and took a bite of my oatmeal.
"So when do you go back to Hogwarts?" he asked and set the knife down, leaning over the counter.
"I go back the first week of May," I answered, "but I'll only be gone for a week. After that, I'll be here until the middle of June when I graduate."
"And what about the program? Like, how exactly does that play into graduation for you?" he asked.
"Uh... well, I think Cristian has to come to Hogwarts for graduation to certify the whole thing," I answered and set my spoon down.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"What?"
"Something's wrong," he stated this time, grabbing my hand over the counter.
"I have something to tell you," I said with a sigh. "The program required parental consent, but my mother said no. I forged her signature. That's the only reason that I'm here."
Charlie furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his hand back so that he could stand. He looked at me with a frown on his face.
"Charlie," I started.
"Why would you do that?" he asked. "That's really fucking stupid. You know that, right?"
"Yes, but-"
"No, just stop for a minute. You realize that you could be expelled, right? And you'd lose the scholarship and you'd have to pay the expenses for this trip, not to mention that you would lose the apprenticeship."
"Charlie, you have to understand-"
There was a knock at the door.
"I'm going to go, alright, before I say something I'll regret," he said and disappeared into my room to get dressed.
I answered the door to find Cristian.
"Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said and glanced to Charlie, who was emerging from my room.
"I'm just leaving," Charlie grumbled and pushed past Cristian to go back to his cabin. I watched after him.
"Sorry. Is now a bad time?" Cristian asked, his eyes darting down to my bare legs.
"Kind of," I said. "What's up?"
"I was wondering if you were coming for a lesson in Romanian today," Cristian said.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I don't think today's a good day. Can I get a rain check?"
"Yeah, of course," he said and put his hands up in surrender. "So, you and Charlie, then?"
"Sorry, Cristian. I've got to go," I said and shut the door.
What a shit-show.
***
Apparently, my walk with Charlie was not going to happen. I didn't really understand why he got so mad at me over what I had done. I knew that it wasn't good, but I didn't think it warranted storming out and pretty much calling me stupid.
Since I had time to kill, I decided to go into town since I was due to get more groceries. I gathered up what I needed and brought it to a cashier, setting all of my stuff down. The man began to speak to me in Romanian.
"Uh, I don't speak Romanian... I mean, nu inteleg," I said and looked at him with wide eyes.
He just continued speaking to me, too quickly, too loudly. I took a step back and looked around me, seeing too many people looking at me. I suddenly felt too hot, like I was suffocating in my own skin. The collar of my shirt seemed too tight and I tugged at it.
"Imi pare rau," I apologized and turned to rush out of the store, hearing the man calling after me.
I started walking but broke into a run. I was breathing heavily, both from running and from being in the store. I ran all the way back to the sanctuary and found Fluffy's pen. I kneeled outside of it and let my tears fall. Fluffy watched me before assuming her defensive position and breathing a shot of fire towards me. I scrambled back as the flames licked at the boundaries of her pen, not able to reach me but sending a clear message.
You're not wanted here.
I sighed and wiped away my tears before pulling my knees to my chest. Fluffy remained in her defensive position. There were no dragon-keepers at her pen, and I was thankful that no one was here to see my outburst and Fluffy's rejection.
I decided to just go back to my cabin, and I found Charlie waiting there, seemingly angry.
"Where were you?" he asked me.
"In town," I answered, my voice tight.
"You went into town alone?" he asked. "You don't know the language, you don't know the culture. What the hell were you thinking?"
I shut my eyes tightly. As soon as I had calmed down, Charlie had started at me again.
"Please stop yelling at me," I said weakly, feeling tears well in my eyes. "I can't right now."
"You can't run off like that," he said. "You could get yourself hurt."
"I had to get things."
"You could have asked me to go with you," he said.
"You were mad at me."
"I still am," he said.
"So why don't you just leave me alone? I don't understand why you're so mad at me," I said, finally letting my tears fall as my voice cracked.
"Because I care about you! I want you to succeed, so it pisses me off that you are so damn reckless all the time. I left because I was pissed and I didn't want to say something that I would regret. You should have done things the right way with the damn program."
"You sound like my mother," I said and wiped away my tears as I attempted to push past him to go inside of my cabin. He didn't budge.
"Merlin, Y/N, you villainize your mother but she just wants you to be safe," he said, still blocking my way. I looked at him.
"That's what you think?"
"Yeah, I do," he said. "She's a muggle with a child in the wizarding world. Her apprehension is completely justified."
"So you're siding with her then?"
"You aren't on opposite sides of a battle, Y/N," he groaned. "She just wants you to be safe and honest with her."
"Like she's been with me?" I asked.
"Listen to yourself. You're being immature."
"Then maybe you should be with someone your own age, like Alcott," I said and turned away from him.
"Are you fucking serious? You literally have private lessons every week with a man that made a move on you and I don't say a damn thing about it," Charlie said.
"You're always with Alcott. She's smart and she's pretty and-"
"And she has a fucking girlfriend!" he finished and arched his eyebrows. I jumped at his raised voice. "You're being childish and irrational. I understand that you're under stress right now but you can't push all of it on other people. You need to take some responsibility."
I didn't respond. I stared at the ground. Charlie shook his head and turned to go back to his cabin. I went inside my cabin and laid down on my bed, burying my face in the covers. They smelled like Charlie.
Then the tears came.
First, they fell silent, but then I was sobbing, clutching the covers tightly in my fists. All of this was too much.
sour mike and ikes literally taste like heartburn