"I'm probably too late, but I love you," she finally admitted to Tom. Her voice broke as the tears intensified. "I want to be with you. I need to be with you."
Tom stepped out the door and pulled her into a tight embrace. Fiona cried into his red shirt, his hands needingly stroked her hair. She sobbed against his chest.
"Shh, shh," his lips were pressed to the top of her head. He held his eyes wide trying to stop the well of tears from overflowing.
"I'm such an idiot," she held onto his shirt not wanting him to pull away from her. "I'm too late and now you've moved on. I'm so stupid."
"You're not too late, love," Tom squeezed her to him. "What are you on about?"
"I heard laughing," she took a step back. Their eyes met again, making Fiona's mind blank.
"What?" Tom turned to look back into the room, "Oh, I was webcaming with my mum. There isn't anyone else for me, Fiona."
His lips were on top of hers, their bodies instinctively remembering their rhythm. He could taste the salt from the many tears that had flowed across her pink lips. He cradled her head in his hands, as if he needed to maintain a grasp on her to keep from losing her again. He scooped her up under her legs and held her across his body. Fiona wrapped her arms around his neck.
Their two bodies were connected by their lips, dancing together as one. Tom entered the dark bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. The moon shone brightly through the large round glass window and bounced off her skin. Tom ran his fingers through her long hair, fanning it out on the bed.
His eyes opened and looked her over, "I've missed you."
Fiona smiled. It felt good to feel his body against hers, to see his eyes up close again. His lips were smooth, pillowy, and welcoming. His necklaces fell against her chest, her fingers played with the different chains.
As he kissed her neck, he pulled her shirt down slightly so he could kiss along her clavicle over to her shoulder. His hands pushed her shirt up from her stomach, feeling her familiar soft skin. He gave each small scar along her tummy a soft kiss, as if he could make them disappear with his lips.
She sat up so he could lift the shirt over her head, his fingers trailed along Fiona's arms. She remained sitting up and looked at him expectedly. His hazel eyes studied her browns, he bit his lip uncertain. He reached around her back, sliding his fingers under the band of her bra tentatively. He unclasped it with one hand and peeled it off her.
Seeing her naked body in front of him made Tom nervous, like it was their first time again. His heart thumped in his chest unknowingly mirroring Fiona's. Fiona pulled his shirt off and traced her name over his shoulder.
"Come here," she pulled him to her. He fell on top of her, her nipples grazed his chest as he kissed her hard, needing her lips.
His hands tugged at her shorts pulling them down to her knees. He grabbed at her panty covered bottom, needing to free it from the satin. Sitting back again, he slid the shorts over her smooth legs before giving her panties a swift and needy tug. He laid back on top of her, his tongue collided with hers.
Fiona's hands slid under his boxers and pulled him closer to her. Tom pushed down his shorts and kicked them to the foot of the bed. Fiona's nail dug into his sides, needing him closer, to feel his skin on hers.
"I love you, Fi," he whispered against her ear. He eased himself inside her for her sake, as well as his. It had been a long time, he thought, he didn't want to ruin the moment so soon.
"I love you," Fiona moaned as a few inches entered her. Arching her back as Tom bit at her neck, making her moan more while he continued deeper.
They held each other in their arms as they made love in the dark. It felt like a scene in a movie, the romantic first time sex, which was not the case when they first did it. This time it was tender and gentle, both focused on making each other feel loved.
They laid in the dark room huddled in each other's arms. Their bodies entangled with one another, the sheets pushed to the floor.
"I'm probably dreaming," Tom sighed and pulled her even closer. "I can't believe you're really here."
"Only took me 60 hours on a plane," she let out a laugh. Even thinking about it gave her anxiety.
"That's a lot of time flying. I know it wasn't actually 60 hours, but you flew halfway across the world alone," Tom was actually very surprised. The last time they flew together was to France, before everything fell apart.
"I couldn't wait for you to come home to be with you."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"I like being able to see your face again without the beard," Fiona stroked his cheeks.
"You didn't love it? A big burly, rugged, man by your side?" Tom spoke softly, his hand playing with her hair.
"Why do you think I really left?" She started to laugh and stopped short. "I'm sorry, it's not funny. Trust me I know it's not funny."
"No, I mean, I don't really want to talk about it. We should. We need to. But I don't want to remind you and make you leave," Tom rolled on his back and looked up at the ceiling.
"I'm not going anywhere. I've decided, no matter what comes our way in the future, I'm not leaving," it was a notion Fiona hoped she could follow.
"You were right though," Tom looked over at Fiona and met her eyes. "I was out of line with her. I shouldn't have let her act that way and I shouldn't have either. I did really just think of her as a sister."
"But with flirting," Fiona added.
"Yeah that's weird, but you're right. My ego loved the attention," Tom turned away.
"Didn't I give you that attention?"
"You did, you did. It was just different," he reached over for her arm and pulled it across him. "I already knew you wanted me, you know."
"You missed the chase," Fiona leaned into him, her arm draped over his naked body.
"Not so much the chase because I wasn't chasing after her, but the feeling that other people fancied me," Tom shook his head. "It's completely mental."
"You know you have thousands of women who would leave their families for you right?" Fiona thought of the authors of the fan fics, the Facebook groups, the fan made tumblrs that posted any picture they found of him. "Women all over want to be with you. If you feel like you need to be fawned over just Google yourself. Or go out to a Starbucks."
Tom laughed. It was irrational why he liked Jessica's attention. He didn't want to do anything with her but it made him happy to know he could. He did learn that if he had to choose between that kind of attention from Jessica or anyone versus Fiona he would choose Fiona.
"You're right," Tom admitted. "And I'm sorry. It definitely came across disrespectful to you."
"Thank you," Fiona kissed the side of his face, stubbly rather than furry. "I forgive you."
"Good," he rolled over and tickled her sides, her legs intertwined with his, struggling to get away from his hands. She giggled as his hands tried to pinch and squeeze her love handles, but failed. "You are really skinny."
"Thanks," Fiona laughed.
"It wasn't really a compliment, or not a compliment but an observation," he rolled over and straddled her legs, looking at her body. Her hip bones jutted out more than usual and he could make out some of her ribs. He hadn't noticed earlier. "Is it since the surgery?"
"When I'm depressed I either eat way too much or don't eat," she shrugged. "I'm fine though."
"Oh," Tom felt guilty that she was depressed because of him. He kissed along her hips and over where her panties used to dig in just slightly. "What made you want to take me back?"
"You may be mad," she bit her lip. "I was on a date."
"Oh," he said again, feeling depressed himself. He knew it wasn't fair of him to be upset and he wasn't going to let it affect him. Ignoring his own wishes he blurted, "did you sleep with him?"
Fiona laughed loudly. "Sleep with him? I could barely even kiss him. Pretty much each time he did I ran away, crying."
Tom couldn't help but laugh with her. "I'm sorry. I bet he didn't take that well."
"Honestly I have no idea. I went home to our empty house and then came here," she stared at the ceiling feeling like a fool a little bit for just ghosting him. "He'll get the hint."
Fiona was now happy she wasn't expected back at work any time soon. She didn't want to have to face Mike especially after she fled the scene in tears. Mike would probably understand, but she knew it was a juvenile thing to do. Who knows if he would even want her to tutor them when they came back in September. She tried not to think of it.
"Wow you're a heartbreaker, huh love?" Tom kissed her lips, his body propped up over her.
"Did you go on any dates?" Fiona's heart raced.
"Oh yeah, plenty," Tom stared off, as he thought of them. "To the park, the lake, the trails, taunted some chicks."
"Are you talking about Woody?" Fiona giggled.
"Of course. He's the only one I went on dates with," his eyes softened. "I was waiting for you."
Fiona played with his messy hair. Her nails gently massaged his scalp. Tom closed his eyes and fell next to her again. Her touch always put him to sleep and he was exhausted from the long day he had. Tomorrow would be another long and hot day, but at least when it was done he'd be able curl up in bed with his fiance.
Is she my fiance again?
"I love you," Tom whispered sleepily. He held her tightly as he drifted off to sleep. "I hope this isn't a dream."
Fiona smiled and closed her eyes, "I love you too, Tom."
(Thinking I should end this half here)