My Tense is all over the place in this chapter, forgive me. Remember the more you comment the more I update. Press play on the song. Justine Is THE bomb.
[August---]
"Just lemme come inside baybeh. Imma fill up the tub for you." I stated, she didn't respond.
She stopped respondin', for atleast 2 minutes na. I stood to my feet.
"Phoebe! Phoebe! Baybeh you aight?"I pounded on the door.
"Mr.Alsina is everything alright?" I looked back and saw Brent peekin' in the bedroom do'. He usually never come up hea'.
"Mayne Phoebe ain't answerin' me."
"Is she okay?"
"Phoebe?" I hummed against the do'. "Baybeh just answer me." I chuckled, maybe she was silent because she wanted me to leave her alone.
"We good Brent. Gimme a minute." I told him and he closed back the do'.
I placed my head against the frame. "Baybeh? You want da gingerale?"
No reply.
"Phoebe why you playin'? Just answer me, and imma go." I stated and on the oda' side of the do' was so serene, so quiet. Almost too quiet. Awwe shit.
"Phoebe!!" I banged my body against the do' tryin' to break the lock.
"Baybeh?" I questioned once more before I stepped back kickin' the do' forcefully with the bottom of my foot . I kicked it in again and finally it flung back . I wiped my mouth with my arm and my eyes, were in terror.
"Awwe fuck." I sank to my knees crawling ova' to her.
"Phoebe , baybeh?" Her body was limp and she was laying on ha' side next to the toilet. Drips of blood was on the marble tiles and her legs were covered in dark blood, while her panties hung around her ankles What's the matta with ha'? I thought.
I held her head in my arms sittin' on the floor. "Baybeh?" I lightly tapped ha' face. She was cold.
Shit. I quickly tried to pull up her underwea' before I called out---"Brent!! Brent!!"
I heard the footsteps climbing the stairs hurriedly and ain't even realize my eyes were glossy.
"Yes sir."
"Mayne, we gotta get to the hospital. Bring the car out front."
"Mr.Alsina what did you do? What happened?"
He looked down at ha', horrified .
"I aint do shit mayne jus' gawn bring the fuckin' car round'."
He nodded, before he ran down the stairs.
"I gotchu' baybeh'. I gotchu." I murmured, lifting ha' up, horizontally in my arms. Carrying her out of the bathroom.
I checked her wrist and ha' pulse was so low. She was just talkin' , What da hell happened? I Her feet dangled back and forth as I climbed down the stairwell, racin' to the front do'.
I reached the car and Brent handed me his jacket to put over ha' body. He closed the door behind me, hoppin' in the driver's seat.
"We gotta hurry mayne. Gotta hurry." I swiped my thumb against her cheek , while the car came into motion.
[Phoebe---An Hour Later]
"Please—Stop, just stop it." The girl's face, played over and over again in my dreams while her boyfriend thrust his body against hers, torturously rough against that brick wall. It was a stuck record in my mind and her face, was so vivid I reached out and this time tried to help her. Atleast that's what I thought.
"Get away! Get Away from her!" I jumped up out of a deep sleep, waving my hands in the air, when I felt skin touch against mine.
My eyes batted open. It was August. "Jesus Baybeh, Calm down. Having a Night mare?" He held my arms, that was apparently slapping him just now.
My eyes danced into his and I felt the fluorescent lights sting into my eye sockets. The sheets were rough and in here smelt like penicillin and expired wheaties. What happened?
My chest rose , heart--beating rapidly. "Where are we?" I asked him, inspecting the needle in my arm and the sanitary pad, between my legs.
"In da Hospital. You blacked out." He stared at me with the saddest, most glum expression, making me anxious. In the hospital. For once his shades were off in public and it worried me, he rarely took those off.
"Wh—Why?"
"They won't tell me. Said it's best they tells us together." He shrugged apologetically. I nodded, chest still heaving and he moved to the side of me, scooping my hair into a braid. Why is he so nurturing today. Oh dear, the melancholy is overbearing.
The doctor swept inside the room and I jolted forward anxious. My period, is something else huh? I thought.
"Ms. Washington. You're awake." She spoke, brightly but her eyes held a different expression. August let go of my curly tresses of hair, leaning against the wall.
"I'm Doctor Gilroy. My first name is Fiona." She extended her hand for a shake and I obliged.
"How are you feeling?" She sat on the side of the bed.
"My stomach hurts. Mildly. What's going on?" I asked, impatiently.
"Is this your husband, boyfriend?" She ignored my question pointing to August. I assumed she would know that already if he brought me here.
"No, Boyfriend. Mate."
"Okay. I see. I suspect he's famous? The paparazzi outside is a bounteous amount. More than I've ever seen." She smiled. I nodded.
"Well, Ms. Washington, I'm also an obstetrician."
I gulp. Why would they give me such a doctor? The girl watching television at the back of my mind scoffs, telling, insigting something. What the ....
"Okay.." I murmured, itching my arm.
"Well, it's seems that you and your boyfriend, have conceived a baby."
I flushed. The blood drained from my face and August's body jolts forward. He too baffled.
"A—A baby?" I study her face, which reminds me much of Claire Huxtable.
She nodded suddenly uncomfortable. "You were about 3 weeks and a day. It's hard to tell, seeing that you weren't aware and we had no prenatal care or observation." She rambled quickly.
She said were. I'm stuck on the were part.
"Were?" I sulked and my lip quivers, preparing for a thunderstorm.
"Yes. I'm so sorry. You seemed to have had a missed miscarriage. It's where the woman is unaware of her bodily changes and would have been miscarrying all along. The baby's heart beat was presumed to have stopped about days ago....Day ago, days ago.." Echoed.
When she said that, The orbs in the planet stopped and my mind is on a far away island, somewhere in Tahiti but its not happy, or merry. Armageddon surrounds the island instead of water and my heart splinters into a million pieces.
I watch as her lips move but my ears—they hear nothing but the whimpers of that girl in NOLA , in that alley. I crumbled. At once, desperately wanting to fall off a near by bridge.
The man I claim I love, hugged unto my body, kissing my hair. His body is contrite and ashamed as he rubs my head and the well inside my retina breaks and my tear gland goes gushing into rivers.
I sobbed. Unruly.
"I'm so sorry." She states resting her hands on top of mine.
How could I not know that I was pregnant? Oh dear, Absent-minded Phoebe is no good to herself. Out of the eliment Phoebe is even worse.
"It seems that your Cholesterol and blood sugar were skyrocket , this may have been the cause of the baby's failure to continue its growth. This is caused by alcohol consumption and not enough drinking enough water. Too much sugary foods."
I stared up at August with the snot is dripping out of my nose, along with tears. He kissed my forehead and he too has tear-swarmed lids. I drank. I did drink on our vacation. Wine, liquor. Bad Phoebe. I mentally beat myself with a tree branch.
"Sometimes this stuff just happens, have you experienced a miscarriage before?" She asked, easily. Her voice was subtle.
I shook my head no , as August rubs my arm. And I show him no form of affection for I am blank.
"It can also have to do with the chromosomes. Since you were not aware of your premature state of pregnancy, you must not take it out on yourself." She patted my hand. How sympathetic.
"Phoebe!" My mother rushed into the room, nearly knocking over Daddy who is slowly walking in front of her.
"Mommy." I let go of August and hug unto her body crying my eyes out. Dribbling on her Givenchy shirt. "I'm so sorry mommy." I wept holding onto her.
"What's the matter with my girl?" Daddy questioned and I ran cold, afraid of what he'll say.
"Your daughter, has encountered a miscarriage." My OBGYN spoke up, outing me.
My mother dressed back, and looked down at me. "You were pregnant?"
I nod with my lip trembling and my eyes are brick stone red. "Oh darling." She held my head and kisses my hair. Familiarity catches her by surprise.
"It's okay. It's okay baby." She rocked me.
"You got my baby pregnant?" Dad shouts to August who is in the corner like a trapped animal. He seems hurt.
"Dad! Stop it. Please, don't start." I reached for Augusts' hand and hold it in mine, bringing it to my mouth, kissing it, leaving my tear residue on it. We lost our baby...I didn't know I had, nor did I want.
"Phoebe we talked about this." He sighed, holding his cane, closely. He is glaring at August. Angrily.
"I would rather not stress the patient out now please." My doctor instructed. "I would like to speak to her alone please.
Why? I ponder and wonder.
"We'll be outside baby." Mom walked around hugging August before she grabbed Dad's hand leading him out. August leaned down and pecked my lips, his eyes say remorse and then he is off.
My throat is in knots and I beckoned for her to begin. I'm devastated and angry with myself.
"Ms.Washington, we I also noticed something else when I was inspecting you----." She trails. "It seems your vaginal walls were healing. Were you molested previously?"
Oh shit. Shit. Just shit. Is all that comes to mind. "N—Noo. No."
She stared at me."Okay. I assume...that you and your partner were enagaging in sex, since you didn't know you were pregnant."
"Yes."
"Sometimes, rough sex can really damage the growing fetus. Sex before 3 months of pregnancy is strictly advised against. Would you say that you guys had rough intercourse?"
I gulp down a bag of prickles. Oh. This is why. "Yes. Yes we did." I hold my hands over my eyes, crying. The memories of that night curse me.
"It's okay. I don't mean to pry; I'm only trying to conclude why you lost the baby. So we know for next time." Next time? I scoff angrily.
"No more questions. Please abstain from sexual intercourse for the next two weeks and if the bleeding is persistent, come back. " I nodded.
"I'll give your medication and you'll be out of here by tomorrow." She smiled sympathetically, leaving me.
I slid over on my side, weeping. Holding the pillow.
I conclude now that this is Karma. I didn't help that girl so now; look what's happened to me. What if I can't carry babies? Nobody will want me. No matter how whipped they are.
The bed dipped and I felt him wrap his arms around me. I'm furious. It's not me! It's him. He hurt me and our baby. He did this to me. I never should have forgiven him. Have I even?
"I'm sorry baybeh." He embraced me from behind and my tears have made a puddle beneath me. I hate him now.
He touches my stomach and I groan, wanting to bite him. He rubs my stomach slowly.
"All this happening so fast." He muttered.
I don't reply.
"You comin' home tonight. And imma take care a' you." I roll my eyes, sharply. There ---is--- not ---home.
"We can make a next one." He says, trying to brighten my mood but I grow angry, dangerously angry. And I whip my head and body facing him.
"So you can kill it!" I snapped at him, face covered in tears.
He looked down at me and his expression is mortified. He's in utter shock of what I just said and I regret now, sincerely.
"Oh God. I--I didn't mean that. I'm sorry." I clutch onto his face trying to back pedal, kissing his lips repeatedly, holding his jaw, pecking all over his face in my emotional state.
"I killed her didn't I?" His eyes released tears and I hug him sorry I ever said that. I ripped out his heart and stomped on it. Wait. He said her. How does he know if it was a her?
"Noo, you didn't I'm so sorry I said that baby." I lean our foreheads together trying to find comfort with myself. "You didn't" I whispered against his lips.
"I did. With my possibly scrambled eggs and my horrible recent diet. All my fault." I sobbed into his chest.
He hugs me closer. Ignoring my statement.
"We gon work it out." He cradles my body and my girl to the back of my head, watching Televison, snaps at me. Sitting upright, screaming space! Space is all I need. Rushing things, she says. I need space. Time . I oblige.
"A—August. I need some space." I murmured.
He pulls away a bit, caressing my head. He thinks in the bed, a breather. No August I mean away from you.
"No. Apart from each other."
He sat up, glaring down at me, with his sleepy eyes. "No." He defies. Commanding a frightful NO.
"Just for a little while. I need to think."
"Think 'bout what?" He says more like a scream. He's angry with me.
"I have to think about this. It happened so fast. I just need space to clear my mind."
"Think bou't what Phoebe. You so selfish." He remarks and I shudder at his words. Me? Selfish, how dare he.
"I am not!"
"I ain't even wanna hear it Phoebe. We just lost our fuckin' baby and you talkin' space. I wanna hold you. And be with you. Heal togetha'. "
"Well I don't!" I shout. Silencing him at once.
He poked his tongue in his jaw and glares at me. "Dats whatcu want?" He hugged himself.
"Yes." I peep. And his phone starts to ring.
He doesn't respond to my yes.
"Time is whatchu want. Have it." He just picks up his phone answering it, before he slowly walks through the door.
"August..." He's gone. "Wait." I murmured after he disappears. My tongue suddenly ties, when it comes to him.
I fold over on my side weeping into my pillow. What a difference a day makes.
.....Brother. I'm sad. VOTE AND COMMENT!! I wanna know what you're thinking. Remeber Phoebe talks to herself alot and thinks aloud in the book, take your time and read.Oh And guys, my name Is Chloe---Amber. Lol so you don't have to address me as amburr151 anymore. The name's Chloe. :)