Tenn glanced around the pristine walls and halls of Membrane labs. The hyooman science drones didn't spare her a second glance, instead focusing solely on their datapads and tablets. "Are you sure this is going to work?"
"Chill out, would you?" Gaz said. "They're not going to vivisect you. It's just a standard pregnancy test."
"What are the chances that it's a false alarm?"
"Considering that it began after you and the Tallest had sex, very slim."
Tenn groaned internally. She'd be praying to any deity that it was a false alarm if she believed in any, to begin with.
Gaz led her into one of the consulting rooms just as a Narg'hok with a bandaged head stepped out, murmuring something under his breath. Inside was a tall female hyooman in a white lab coat who was typing something on a computer until she noticed their presence.
"Miss Membrane, how nice to see you!" She greeted, then looked at Tenn. "Oh. I see you brought a friend."
"Ultrasound for the Irken. Now." Gaz said curtly.
"A what?" Tenn asked. Where had she heard the term before? Probably from Lena.
"It consists of a medical test that uses high-frequency sound waves to capture live images from inside the body. It'll tell us if something is growing in your..." The scientist paused momentarily. She probably didn't know how to refer to Irken reproductive organs.
"Spooch-sac," Tenn said quickly, her patience wearing thin.
"Right. If there's something inside your Spooch-sac, the ultrasound will find it."
Tenn sighed irritated. While Saturn's planetary culture was hyooman-dominated, there were many other intergalactic cultures taking root. Sometimes close allies, but mostly old rivals and enemies, causing constant friction in-between species. Hyoomans, in particular, were perhaps the most racist ones. They believed that since Earth and Saturn are in their solar system, they should have privileges.
What all cultures had in common, though, was that none of them valued height like Irkens. Height is seen as a mere physical trait that has no value nor usefulness unless you play a sport called basketball. This made it harder for Tenn to adapt, as she could no longer use her height to get better treatment, nor did people respect her because she was tall. This, of course, irked her to no end. Especially when shorter people often got served before her at a café. Or a random fellow who was a few inches shorter than she could talk back at her without any retribution.
As if that wasn't bad enough she had been feeling ill for these part days. Even worse, she recognized the symptoms: cravings, fainting spells, nausea. She didn't want to believe it. But since her apartment didn't have an AI to run her a test, she had no choice but to look for other means to confirm her theory.
Going to a doctor was far too risky, as he'd probably make a patient file for her, which could somehow end up in her husband's hands and give him a clue as to where to find her. She might sound paranoid, but she wouldn't take any chances.
Running out of ideas, Tenn had no choice but to call Gaz-hyooman a few hours earlier. She might be scary and all that, but she knew how everything worked in this place.
"Did you have sex with your husband?" Tenn felt a shiver down her spine.
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Then it's highly likely he put you a bun in the oven."
"What does bread have to do with this?"
"It's an expression; it means that he got you pregnant." Tenn imagined the hyooman rolling her eyes. "Have you seen a doctor?"
"I'm an Irken, hyooman. I will not let an inferior being run tests on me like a lab rat!" Tenn growled.
"Geez, here I thought Zim was childish. Fine, then how about a domestic pregnancy test?"
"How does it work?"
"All you have to do is buy it and pee on it... No, not going to work. Your kind doesn't pee anymore, do you?"
"No," Tenn said curtly. Thankfully.
"Come over to Membrane Labs. There might be a way to figure it out there."
So here she was, about to be handled by an inferior mammal. Okay, she could do this, as long as they didn't make her undress. From top Invader to this. How humiliating.
"Alright, let's start. Please sit here and lay down on your... Think you could remove your backpack for a moment?"
"My PAK?" Tenn stepped back instinctively.
"I need you to lay down to get a better position, and your 'PAK' won't allow you to do so without permanent damage to your spine."
"Chill out. I will make sure nothing happens to it." Gaz assured.
Slowly, Tenn de-attached her PAK from her body and placed it down on the metal table. Then she lay down on the table as instructed. She roughly grabbed the science drone's wrists when she started lifting her blouse until she was informed she only needed to expose her abdomen. The Invader went stiff as the hyooman gently placed and rubbed a strange device on her stomach, spreading a cold, viscous gel. She didn't want to imagine what it's made of.
As soon as the device touched her skin, the nearby screen turned on, showing blurry black and white images. Tenn could vaguely make out the shape of her squeedly-spooch, but judging by the puzzled look on the doctor's face, she didn't. Gaz had to explain to her that Irkens only have one super organ, the Squeedly-Spooch. This made it a bit more difficult for the science drone to find anything until Tenn directed her device to the lower part of her abdomen, where she knew the spooch-sac was.
"So how does your... species know they're pregnant?"
"We get nausea and cravings, but the latter is pretty common for Irkens unless we crave food we wouldn't otherwise eat*," Tenn frowned at Gaz's pizza slice. "Our medical machinery is far more advanced, though, they just need to scan a female to get results."
"And may I ask what exactly I'm looking for if you lay eggs?" Tenn tried to remember how Lena had described it during one of their conversations.
"From what I've heard, it's a tiny spot inside the spooch-sac, but it's easy to miss..." Tenn trailed off as she spotted something on the screen: A tiny white smudge inside her spooch sac. Her squeedly-spooch dropped almost instantly. "Would you mind checking your machine? It's dirty." She stuttered.
"Everything on the screen is the inside of your body, ma'am."
"Then what's that thing? Clean it up!"
"Hey, didn't you just say the smeets look like a tiny spot?" Gaz said, raising an eyebrow. "There's one in there."
"It can't be! I can't be...!" Nonono, this couldn't be! Tenn snatched the device from the science drone and rubbed her belly a few more times, hoping the spot would disappear and prove she was right, but no matter how many times she did, the spot was still there.
As Gaz had put it, she had a bun in the oven.
**SoP**
"Isn't that harmful to the kid?"
"I wish. The 'new and improved' update in my PAK, courtesy of my 'darling husband,' won't let any alcohol into my spooch-sac." Tenn took another big gulp of Irken beer from Zim's stash. "Are you sure Zim isn't here?"
"Chill out; he went to get some pizza. And knowing him, he won't go inside the pizzeria until the guys in the costumes go take their fifteen-minute break." Tenn felt a shiver down her spine. She remembered those things. How could hyoomans find them cute was beyond her reasoning.
"What on Irk am I going to do now? The last thing I need and want right now is a smeet, especially if it's his!"
"What do you do in those situations?"
"We can go to the smeeteries and take the embryos out of our bodies to be put in an incubator*. But I can't because the moment I put a foot into Irken Imperial Space, Tallest Purple will know. And right now, he's probably not very happy with me."
"Come on, what's the worst thing he can do to you?"
Tenn felt a shiver down her spine. "You have no idea..." She whispered.
Her lekku twitched as she heard metallic footsteps down the hall. She heard a familiar shriek and arms wrap around her waist. "Ugh!"
"I LOVE YOU, GRUMPY IRKEN LADY!" The defective SIR shouted.
Tenn swore he was going to crush her squeedly-spooch with that grip. She gave Gaz a pleading look.
"GIR, you should know better than to squeeze a living being."
"But she's so warm!"
"How about this? I'll tell Zim to let you poke at Dib's gigantic head if you let go of Tenn."
"Okie-dokie!" Tenn exhaled and took a deep breath as the robot let go of her.
"I'm glad you came to visit! Here, have some flowers!" GIR held out a bunch of green stems with slices of pig meat. Tenn was about to reject them when she recalled she wasn't supposed to reject anything from this SIR, or he'd throw a fit. A big fit. So he reluctantly took them if only to keep him quiet; she wasn't in the mood to deal with that.
"GIR, I thought you were with Zim."
"Oh, yeah! I was supposed to deliver you a message, Gazzy!" Gazzy? Tenn was wise enough not to laugh. "Master got stuck and needs help!" Gaz sighed as if it were a common occurrence. Then again, it wouldn't be that surprising. It's Zim they were talking about.
"Let me guess: he forgot to deactivate his Voot's security system, and it trapped him inside?"
"Yup!"
"Tenn, would you mind if I go deal with Zim?"
"No problem. Besides, it's about time I get home, anyway. I need some time alone to myself."
Tenn couldn't help but worry in her way to Saturn, and then to her house. The first thing she did once she got there was to make two packets of popcorn and devour it whole as she watched Netflix.
Damn it, she knew it was a possibility when she had sex with Tallest Purple, but the chances were so slim* that she didn't bother using protection. That, and it would have looked far too suspicious if she had asked him to use it.
What was she going to do now? She wasn't ready for a smeet; she didn't want a smeet, especially not his. They're noisy, dirty, and continuously got on her nerves. Rouge was an exception, but because he wasn't clingy to her and she's only looked after him a few times. She's an Invader, for Miyuki's sake, not a mother!
There was the option of getting rid of it or giving it away to someone else, but Tenn didn't dare to even think about it. If Tallest Purple ever found out...
All of the Empire knew not to cross Tallest Purple. Back on the Academy, she had heard stories of what he did to those bold (or stupid) enough to do so. Some were rumors, but others were actual testimonies of those lucky enough to survive his wrath. Tenn had more than once witnessed service drones being dragged off by Imperial Guards, begging to be deactivated.
But perhaps the clearest example of Tallest Purple's wrath is the fate that befell all the planets in the agaia solar system. From what she'd heard, the agaians insulted him to his face. He retaliated not by sweeping their worlds, but by having the science drones create a toxin to wipe out their livestock, flora, and fauna. This left the planet completely barren. With little to eat, the agaians slowly began to starve and die off. Eventually, they called again to offer an apology and begged for mercy.
Then Tallest Purple had the planet eradicated.
With that in mind, Tenn was afraid of what he'd do to her if he ever found her.
**SoP**
"I don't care if you don't know where to look, just find her!"
"Yes, my Tallest!" The shipmaster stuttered. Purple waved his hand in a dismissive motion, wordlessly ordering the navigators to cut the transmission off.
The air on the bridge was dark. Very dark even with all the ceiling lights and flashing buttons on the console. Everyone was silent, not daring to utter a single word. The only sounds were those of the buttons being pressed and his fingers tapping on his armrest.
How could she do this to him? All this time, she had played him for a fool, and he fell for it. Had he been so desperate for her affection that he refused to find anything suspicious? He could imagine her somewhere out there, laughing and making fun of his naivety.
Stupid.
How could he not see it? Tenn is an Invader, which meant she was cunning and knew how to lie. She knew which cards to play. This is what made her a good Invader. It brought back memories from the Academy, back to his first love and her utter rejection. But at the very least she had been honest and outright told him she wasn't interested in him. Tenn, on the other hand, pretended that she did and then stabbed him in the back, which hurt a thousand times more.
When I get my hands on her...
And yet, despite the fury, hurt, and anger, a part of him was still worried about her. What if the lizards captured her? They undoubtedly must have heard the broadcast by now. What's stopping them from actually going after her?
Purple brought his fingers to his lips. She might have lied to him, but their night together was real. It had been just like he imagined, if not better. Despite the pain she caused him, he still had strong feelings for her, even if it'd take him a while to forgive her for this.
"Pur?"
"Huh?" Purple turned to his co-Tallest. "What?"
"You okay? You've been staring into space for a good while now." Even Red sounded reluctant to break the silence. He knew better than anyone not to play with fire, or he'd get burned. Fortunately for him, Purple had already vented off.
"Yeah, I'm fine." he lied.
"You haven't touched your snacks."
"I'm not hungry." Red got the message and didn't try to make any further conversations for the time being.
"Don't worry, Pur, we'll find her."
"I sure hope so." Because I have a pending issue with Tenn.
Purple used the ensuing silence to think: how on Irk did Tenn slip away unnoticed? She could have made her way to the hangar during the issue with the winged hybrid, where everybody was too distracted to notice. It must have been an older ship because all the newer models were still in place. But even then, there's security feeds everywhere on the Massive. It's impossible they didn't record her.
Unless...
"My Tallest?" Purple glared at the navigator, making him flinch. "Incoming transmission from..."
"Speak up!"
"From planet Earth, sir!" he stuttered.
Purple sighed. Of all the times for the defective to call... Oh, well, they might as well send him to do a painfully dangerous task. That might cheer him up a bit.
"Send it through."
"You sure, Purple? I mean, Zim might be taller, but he's still as annoying and infuriating as ever."
"Which makes him a good punching bag. Send it through."
The navigator did as told. Instead of Zim, however, the person calling was none other than his defective robot.
"Hiii, mommies!"
Purple groaned. Why did that piece of garbage refer to him like that when Red was the one who put him together?
"Hum... GIR, right?"
"Yup, I'm GIR! That's my name!" the robot lifted a slice of pizza. Purple shivered in disgust when he started eating it. Hyooman pizza was not amongst his favorite meals. They were far greasier than even the Irken one. "I'm throwing a pizza party, mommies, and I wanted to invite you!"
"Right. Okay, GIR, we'll think about your offer, but right now, we're busy..." Red was interrupted by the robot burping.
"Come on. It'll be fun! There'll be piggies, pizza, flowers, and games! Everybody is coming! Master, Mary, Gazzy, even Tenny!" Purple raised his lekku at the last name. Tenny? What a stupid...
Wait.
"Who's Tenny, GIR?" he inquired, feigning curiosity.
"She's Gazzy's new friend, purple mommy!"
"And what does she look like?"
"She's just like my Master, but the sticks in her head are curly. She's very tall too, just like Gazzy!"
Purple pondered over the information. Irken female, friends with Zim's mate, as tall as a hyooman... Tenny...
Tenn.
He felt a weight being lifted from his chest. At the very least, she wasn't in the enemies' hands. And while he hated to admit it, she was smart to go to Earth. Knowing they'd never go there willingly.
All around him, the navigators sighed. They had believed the lizards got her. There was no way he'd tell them that his wife left him.
Okay, now he could get mad.
"Why, GIR, we will gladly attend your pizza party." He told the little robot with a fake smile. "Do me a favor. Don't tell Gazzy or Tenny that we're coming; we want to surprise them."
"Okie-dokie!"
Once the transmission was cut off, one of the navigators asked if they should set a course for Earth. "No, it won't be necessary."
"Sir?"
"I'm going to go get my wife personally. If we take the whole Armada, it might alert her former captors that we're unto them." But especially Tenn. She'd undoubtedly try to get away from the planet and disappear again.
"You sure, Pur? You could, at the very least, take an escort or something."
"Come on, Red, it's Earth we're talking about. As long as Zim is there, the lizards won't dare attack it." Purple insisted. "Besides, Tenn and I stayed behind a few times already, so it's your turn."
"Touché."
"Just do me a favor: save me some lizard ass-kicking for when we return."
Red smirked. "Don't worry. There'll be enough for you."
With that, Purple hurried down the hall. He better not keep his darling wife waiting.
**SoP**
*Irken Headcanon: the two most common pregnancy symptoms in Irkens are cravings and nausea, sometimes accompanied by fainting spells and mood swings. However, Irkens are naturally a race that lives off snacks, so the cravings don't tend to be taken into account.. unless the food in question is something IRkens wouldn't normally eat, such as foreign food, or something they strongly dislike.
*Irken Headcanon: Due to the risks of childbirth, most females have their fertilized embryos put into incubators in smeeteries and then pick them up when they're fully developed.
*Irken Headcanon: the chance of Irkenettes getting pregnant the first few times are 1 to 500,000.
Uh-oh. There's going to be trouble, I just know it. Of all the times for Murphy's Law to strike: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.