Saturday morning brings menstrual cramps and a double dose of misery. Snow is falling lightly outside and I don't feel like getting up from my bed.
I glance at the clock.
9.45 am.
Oh shit. Leonardo won't be happy if I'm late.
I'm not too psyched about going to his penthouse to speak to the wedding planner.
Getting married isn't something I had in my plans until at least five years into the future; so I don't have the slightest clue on what I want my wedding to look like.
I'm only nineteen for goodness' sake.
I'll just let Leonardo take the lead, I think to myself as I brush my teeth.
I hop into the shower and take exactly ten minutes in there. I scramble out, dry off and lather on some lotion before stumbling into my room.
I grab a random big, black, warm hoodie from my closet and put it over a black shirt.
"Jeans or shorts?" I mumble to myself.
I think about it and laugh.
Sure, Sadie. Put the shorts on and freeze your actual ass off. Be my guest.
I put on a pair of black jeans and slip on some Doc Marten boots. I quickly scurry over to the mirror and brush some mousse into my waves before quickly tying it up into a ponytail.
I glance at myself in the full length mirror. I look okay. I accidentally put more effort than usual, actually.
I make my way downstairs just as the doorbell rings.
Phew. Just in time.
The last thing I want is for Leonardo to think that the waitress girl is not only poor, but tardy too. What a tragedy it would be to him.
I open the door and surely Leonardo is stood there, decked in a yellow parka, a black hoodie underneath, black jeans and black timberlands.
He raises an eyebrow and I immediately know that he too noticed the fact that we are unintentionally matching with the all black theme - save for the yellow parka, of course.
His hair looks so perfect I'm almost jealous.
"Uh, good morning," I greet him rather awkwardly.
He puts his hands in his pockets and starts retreating back to his car."Better get going before we're late."
What? No 'good morning to you too'? Alrighty then.
I shut the door behind me and lock up before following him to the car.
He opens the passenger door for me - probably for the benefit of the pedestrians gawking at us. He walks around to the driver's side and starts the engine.
My phone rings just as I'm starting to fiddle with the heating system of the car.
I hit answer.
"Good morning," a male voice greets. "Is this Sadie Torres?"
"Speaking."
"I'm doctor Samuel Ferdinand. A team of researchers and I came to the hospice today to see your mother and a few other patients with a similar case to hers."
I sit up straighter. "How is she?"
I wasn't able to visit her yesterday because I had been at Lauren's place and then I had to go on the 'date' with Leonardo. A wave of guilt rushes over me.
"Well, she's starting to show the signs of fast deterioration. Look, Miss Torres, I'm calling you to inform you that the team of researchers claim they have found a cure. For people with her blood type, that is. Her blood type isn't too common so we need as many test subjects as we can get. It's been tested on animals but as you may know, it can never have the same exact effect on humans."
Despite myself and the excitement I harbor, I so badly want to tell him that 'same' and 'exact' mean the same thing.
"So try it on her. Hell, try anything that sounds promising. As long as it doesn't make her worse," I interrupt.
"We asked your mother to try it out but she declined the offer. We were hoping that you could talk to her, convince her that this is a sign that she still needs to live. She doesn't like the idea of being a test subject but if this works, she'll stick around long enough to see your children and maybe even theirs.
"Since she's deteriorating the fastest out of everyone with the needed blood type, we thought she should try it first - there's also only so much in supply. This could save many other lives as well and she will be offered a generous amount of money for being the first test subject." The doctor sounds somewhat sincere.
What's up with this sudden streak of luck?
I feel like asking life itself what the catch is.
"I'll talk to her about it. Are there any side effects we should know of?" I fidget in my seat, giddy at the thought of having my crazy, fun-loving mom back.
Calm down Sadie. There's a chance it won't work. You've never heard of this kind of thing before so don't get your hopes up, my much more sensible alter ego all but chastises me.
"It has more or less the same side effects as chemotherapy; take or give but it's supposed to work a lot faster. I would advise you to talk to her about it as soon as possible, as we don't have much time."
I have so many questions, but I'm scared that the answers will disappoint me. The least we can do is give it a shot.
I assure Doctor Ferdinand that I will do my best to persuade my mom before I hang up.
Leonardo gives me a side glance. "What was that all about? You look like you've been proposed to by the love of your life."
Ha. I nearly smirk at the irony.
It seems he's so nonchalantly asking to fill the silence in the air more than he actually cares.
"It's about my mom. She has stage four lung cancer that has spread. Some researchers or something claim they've found a cure and they want me to convince her to try it."
He spares me a glance, eyes slightly more ajar. "We could move the meeting with the wedding planner to this afternoon and go and see your mom now."
I think about visiting my mom with Leonardo in tow. I've already told her about him and she was so happy to hear that I'd 'finally found someone.' She was pretty upset though, that Leonardo and I have been together for a 'year' and I hadn't mentioned it to her.
Just like with Lauren, Steve and Kai - I came up with some pretty convincing excuse about why I didn't tell them I had a boyfriend 'all this time'.
"Really?" I ask. "That would be great, actually."
Leonardo stops by a florist on the way and he gets a bouquet arrangement of peonies and a splatter of baby's breath.
By the time we stop outside the hospice, Leonardo looks like he's about to write an examination that determines his future.
I unbuckle my seat belt and turn to him. "What's wrong?"
He unbuckles his own seat belt. "What do you mean?"
"You look like you drove down here to get a shot from those ridiculously thick needles."
"I guess I'm just nervous to meet your mom. I mean, even if we're not really together by a long shot, I still care about whether or not she'll like me."
"And why the heck is that?"
He shrugs. "It's an ego thing I guess?"
I roll my eyes. "Should've called it. Brace yourself then, young soldier."
He steps out of the car muttering something about me being nineteen and calling him young.
I follow him out of the car and to the front desk.
The lady at the front immediately recognizes me from past visits and she leads us to my mom. She walks all rigid the whole time, trying to keep composure as she ogles Leonardo, obviously star struck.
He might as well be some guy from a famous rock band with the way she's looking at him. I don't blame her but at the same time I've grown jaded and have been since the day Leonardo opened his mouth.
When we enter my mom's room, she's asleep but she stirs and wakes up at the sound of our footsteps.
Her eyes land on me first as the lady from the front desk excuses herself to find a vase for the flowers.
Mom doesn't look too bad for someone who's deteriorating. Her natural beauty has countered cancer itself.
Her dark, curly hair - which has grown back in abundance after chemotherapy - is tied up in a messy bun at the top of her head and even though there's absolutely no effort put into her appearance at the moment, she's still easily the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. My opinion is probably 30% biased but the amount of men who are after her prove me so right. She looks 23 rather than 40. I better have inherited those genes.
As she looks at me, I notice that her big hazel eyes are lacking the shine I've last seen too long ago.
"You didn't come yesterday. I'm still alive, y'know. Could use some company in this hell hole."
Her voice is a little quieter than the last time I heard it - which is unusual for my mom.
I wince. "Sorry mom, I slept over at Lauren's place and she was helping me get ready for a date with Leonardo," I say gesturing to him.
Mom cranes her neck the slightest bit so she can see Leonardo before grabbing a remote control. She presses a button that makes her bed lift her up into a sitting position.
Leonardo immediately takes to getting on with the formalities.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Miss Torres."
I notice Leonardo is very attentive and observant when I catch him eying my mother's hands.
He's already noticed the lack of a wedding ring on her finger, hence his use of Miss instead of Mrs. No wonder his business is flourishing, he's such a people's person - so cautious in his endeavours.
Mom's eyes widen a fraction. "So you're the Leonardo? Fancy that. Sadie you didn't mention that your boyfriend was Leonardo Romano. Didn't give me half the chance to warn you about the consequences of marrying rich when you come from a poor family like ours."
I inwardly cringe at her bluntness.
Seeing as she was born then raised in Trinidad for thirteen years of her life, her accent sounds a little more sharp when she's vexed or on the brink of chastising me. It gives her away every time she's upset.
My aunt Lizzy hides it as best as she can, though, concluding that she wants to be treated with 'the same respect' the next New Yorker receives from the other and that she's simply 'adapting to her environment'. She barely keeps contact with any family in Trinidad, either.
"Mom I'm a big gir-"
She looks at Leonardo who has practically stopped breathing next to me. "Not trying to be rude or nothing but you got to treat my Sadie well when I'm not around no more. She's gone through too much in life already. Rich guys like you like to show girls all the nice things in life then dump them once you're bored and they're already accustomed to your lifestyle. Pretty cruel if you ask me."
I can practically sense Leonardo gathering up all the charm he's collected since he was born before he speaks.
"I promise that my intentions aren't to hurt your daughter," he looks rather sincere, "I'll be honest, I was a bit of a prude when we first met mostly because of the company that I keep, but she's been the change that I needed in my life. If I slip up in anything at all she'll be sure to let me know where to come off."
I know there is some truth in that corny proclamation of his.
Mom smiles slightly. "That's my Sadie for you. She from the triple 's' category. She's strong-willed, self-assured and stubborn. Can be a good or bad thing, you just gotta be a little patient when it isn't all rosy."
Leonardo slings one arm around my waist like we've been together for years. "Agreed. I've been well acquainted with all three of those ever since I met her and she's the virtue that constantly requires my patience."
I pinch his lower abdomen and he lets out a yelp as Mom chuckles softly, shaking her head.
"You are two are already acting like a married couple. Must be a good omen."
I roll my eyes and make my way to sit at the edge of the hospice bed. Leonardo grabs a chair and sets it next to the bed.
"Mom, I need to talk to you about something."
"If it's bad news don't even tell me," she says, making herself comfortable in her bed again.
I sigh. "It's about the researchers and their cure or whatever. Mom, you need to at least give it a shot."
Leonardo excuses himself to answer a business call.
Mom looks at me for a while. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Look, Sadie, I've already been thinking on it. There's still so much of the world I haven't seen and it won't hurt to try... I hope. I just don't want your faith to hit the roofs because there's never a guarantee when cancer is involved."
I smile weakly. "I know. I just don't want you to give up and leave us without putting up a fight. And as for my faith - it isn't wavering and I'm sure there's a reason why."
She waves her hand at me in dismissal. "Your head is too far up in the clouds. You need to be wary of losing your footing in the path of life."
And I know she means it, too. No point in arguing with her at this rate.
"So," I say, changing the subject, "what does your dream wedding for me look like?"
I need to get a couple of ideas in before Leonardo and I see the wedding planner.
Excitement washes over Mom's features and she tries to sit up but fatigue fails her. I wince as the reality of her condition settles back into my chest like a constant itch I can't scratch.
At least she isn't in too much pain with all the morphine she's doused in.
She leans back against the bed, barely fazed. "He already proposed?"
As if on cue, Leonardo walks back in, taking a seat next to me once again.
"No. Not yet," he answers breezily before I can respond.
This has obviously gotten some of mom's usually divided attention. "Well you better be quick about it if you want me at the wedding."
See, my mom isn't like most moms. She's totally okay with me getting married at nineteen. So long as I'm happy. Growing up, she's always trusted my judgement over her own and she claims I am an 'old soul'. Her advice always goes a little something like "I know you'll do the right thing".
"Don't worry Miss Torres, I'm already eyeing a couple of engagement rings," Leonardo says quite charmingly.
I try to smile dreamily at Leonardo, totally despising the idea of pretending for the sake of misleading my mother. But it has to be done.
"So mom, do you have any ideas? Anything you'd picture at my potential wedding?"
"Navy blue and gold," is her simple, immediate answer, like she's given it some thought before.
I envision the colors together and I smile.
I've never heard of a more perfect wedding color combination and Leonardo seems to have the same sentiments.
"Navy blue and gold it is," he muses.