Spencer POV
It has been a three months since you lost Y/N.
Theee months that had been full of cloudy days and sleepless nights as you adjusted to life without her.
The whole team had to go through a psych evaluation before even thinking of looking for new cases. Fortunately everyone on the team was given the green light, well everyone except for you.
You were frustrated at first, but you began to realize that it was for the better that you took a bit more time off.
You wouldn't say that you were completely done grieving over her death. You still would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, shaking and thinking you heard her voice off in the distance.
One night, you woke up screaming as your nightmare was about you trying to stop Y/N from bleeding out but no matter how much fabric or bandages you used to press her wound, her blood would always come seeping through.
Garcia would come in and help you wake up. She would sometimes make you sleep in the living room so she could keep an eye on you.
You had talked to her about moving back to your own place, but as you made the suggestion you saw how her face changed into one of sadness. So, you decided that a couple of more weeks of invading her space wouldn't hurt.
Its not that you didn't like being with Garcia, it's just that you wanted to get used to being alone. With Y/N gone, your weekends and friday nights would probably be spent in your apartment, watching one of those cheesy romantic movies that she liked so much and pretend that she was still with you.
Three days ago was the teams first day back to work, which inspired you to finally go to Y/Ns apartment to clean it out. Her landlord had seen that you were listed as an emergency contact and called you to pick up her things. You had also called her parents, informing them that you were more than willing to send all of her belongings by mail so they could have a final say on what stays and what gets donated.
They thanked you and said that you could keep whatever you wanted.
You had borrowed Garcias old car she still had parked on the complex, heading over to Y/Ns while listening to the radio.
You finally got to the parking lot of her apartment building, taking your time as you find a spot to park and hold yourself together.
You finally step out of the vehicle and pop the trunk open. There you had boxes upon boxes to put her belongings inside of them.
Walking over to her front door, you remembered the key that she left for you under the plant she kept outside. You grabbed it and proceeded to unlock the door, taking a deep breath in as you opened it slowly.
The sight of her comfy blue couch honestly made you tear up a bit as you remembered how she used to play with your hair while watching a movie or talked about her day as you laid in her arms.
You stepped inside and closed the door, running your hand through it as you did so. You had so many good memories from this place, it had brought you a sense of joy that you hadn't felt in a while.
As you began to look around, new memories where brought up in every corner. While doing this, you began to pack up some of her stuff. You did the kitchen first, then the bathroom, and finally you moved onto her bedroom.
Going through her closet was... extremely difficult to say the least. As you were putting her clothe into the boxes you spotted something, her satin purple dress.
You pulled it off the hanger and stared at it while you gripped it in your hands, staining it with the tears that began falling of your eyes. You sighed as you couldn't seem to let the piece of fabric go.
You made your way onto her bed, laying on it and curling up with the dress in your arms. You cried and cried until you slowly drifted off to sleep, feeling peace brought by her scent that was penetrated into the covers.
You woke up about 10 minutes later to the sound of your phone, still hugging the satin dress as you rubbed your eyes. You continued on the mission of getting this apartment clean by the end of the day. You went on to clear out her living room, which was honestly the tuffest one to do.
You couldn't bare to get rid of the couch or her record collection that she was so fond of. So you decided that a storage unit would be perfect to store her furniture in until you could figure out a way to place it in your own apartment. As for her records and paintings, you decided to keep them and hang the pieces up in your room.
After 8 agonizing hours, you finally finished up packing her things.
You sweeped and mopped and throughly cleaned the whole apartment, leaving it absolutely spotless for the next tenant. You sat in the middle of her almost empty apartment, wishing the universe that one day you could remember her without feeling the sadness and the guilt of what happened to her.
You stood up and brought all the boxes into the small car, amazed at how someones entire life could fit in the back seat of a Nissan Altima.
You hopped into the car and began to drive to the post office, making sure her parents got all her things by tomorrow. It had been a long and emotionally draining day, so you decided to call up the team and asked them how the case was going.
"Spencer!" answered Garcia at the first ring. "Let me patch the rest of the team in."
"Okay."
"SPENCER!" you heard JJ scream out into the phone. "How was today, hun?"
"It was.... hard, but I got it done and I even got to keep some of her things which I am very excited to show you guys" you said with a smile.
"We are very excited to see as well" you heard Emily in the distance.
"So? How is the case going?"
"Oh! We think we have our guy actually. Morgan and Hotchner went over to his address to arrest him" said Emily with excitement.
"Ouu, sounds fun" you replied laughing at her tone.
"We miss you kiddo, we hope that we get to finish up here and come see you as soon as possible!" exclaimed Rossi, his voice sounding like he was far away.
"Yeah, cant wait..." you sighed as your mood dropped once more. "Well, I'll talk to you guys later, I have something else I need to do."
"Of course Doctor" said Garcia.
"Alright, bye!" and like that you hung up.
You began to wish that you got to go on the case, it sounded like a much needed distraction. These past three months you had been looking for anything that could keep you occupied and had read Little Women five hundred and fifty five times.
You would go to the museum a lot, the first time to went back though was absolute awful. They asked you where Y/N was and since you didn't know how to explain to them that she was you know... six feet under. You told them that she was visiting some friends in Texas. According to them, shes been visiting them for three months.
You began to drive off wherever you were lead to, you didn't have any more plans for the day. You ended up going to get some chinese food, it always made you feel better.
Thats when you decided to go see Y/N, well not really see her but you get the point. You drove there as the sunset began coloring the sky with blues and pinks, thinking about how it was such a beautiful day. Finally pulling up to the cemetery , you parked your borrowed car a little further than usual to take a nice long walk.
You made sure to visit Y/N at least twice every week.
You knew that she got lonely easily. You would always talk about your day or how you really missed her. As much as you knew that she couldn't possibly hear a word that you were saying, it brought you comfort weirdly enough.
You were minding your business, talking to your dead girlfriend or was she your ex-girlfriend?
Anyways, you were enjoying your quiet evening when you felt your phone begin to buzz in your pocket.
Hotch Calling....
"Hmm, wonder what he wants?" you asked yourself as you answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Spencer, I need you to head to the BAU right away!" Hotch answered sounding breathless, like he ran a mile before he called you.
"Why? Whats wrong? Is someone hurt?" you asked as you began to stand up to leave. "Oh, bye Y/N" you whispered at the grave so Hotch couldnt hear you.
"No, no. Everyone is okay. I just need you to be there when we land please, it's important."
"Uhh, okay. Im on my way as we speak!"
"Okay, see you there!"
He hung up and left you alone with your thoughts, you calmed down knowing that no one was hurt. But you began to ask yourself what could be so urgent.
You drove for a bit before you finally got to the FBI building, feeling extremely underdressed. You had walked out of the apartment in jeans and a black button up and your sleeves rolled up, not knowing you would have to go anywhere else besides Y/Ns place.
Making your way up the stairs to the 4th floor, your heart ached as you walked in and saw Y/N's desk had been emptied already. You tried to let it go and waited for the team at the round table room.
You paced back and forth as the nerves of what was so important started to kick in. Thats when you heard Garcias heels clacking against the floor.
"Spencer!" she blurted out with a smile on her face.
"I know I saw you yesterday but my god did I miss you" she exclaimed as she embraced you in a tight hug.
You smiled as she let go of you and let you breath again, "I missed you too Penny, but do you know why Hotch wanted to see me?"
"Oh, I have no idea. He actually wanted to see all of us though!"
"Really? That's peculiar"
"Yes, it is. But lets no worry about it im sure it's not going to be anything spectacular"
Both of you continued to talk about what you did today when you heard the team walk into the room.
"Hey! There's my pretty boy and my baby girl!" screamed Morgan as he jogged towards you both and gave you a hug.
"Well, we missed you too!" said Garcia in a fit of giggles.
The rest of the team finally walked in, sharing hugs with you because they hadn't seen you in three days.
Hotch was the last one to arrive, his face looked happy yet extremely worried. You looked at him closely, immediately stopping yourself as you realized that you were sneakily profiling him.
"Can everyone sit down please" said Hotch as he stood in the middle of the room. We all obliged and took a seat, wondering what in the hell was going on.
"I just want to let you all know that Lindsey Vaughn has been arrested. She was found a week ago by the Mexican police when she tried to head to Monterrey. As for Cat, she is to be executed in-" he stopped to look at his watch.
"Fifteen minutes and 31 seconds"
"Thank the stars" Garcia exclaimed, she had been absolutely terrified that Lindsey would come back and take another one of our lives. Now, she didn't have to even think about that woman.
"Thank the stars in deed" repeated Hotch with a huge smile on his face. "Now, I have..... other news."
We all looked at him confused as he started to look around the room, his tell that he was nervous. He composed himself and began to explain.
"Three months ago I made a decision that affected this team" he took in a deep breath and continued.
"As you all know, Y/N lost a lot of blood after being shot by Vaughn.... but the doctors were able to stabilize her."
We all just kept staring at him, his words sounding like gibberish as he continued.
"She was airlifted from Virginia to Venice under surveillance . Her identity was strictly need to know, she stayed there until she was well enough to travel...
She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access too for her security and yours."
"Shes alive?" you asked Hotchner in absolute shock, this just- it couldn't be true.
"B-but we buried her" whispered Garcia with a shaky voice and beginning to breath heavily.
"As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be taken up with me" Hotch said loudly as your confusion quickly turned into anger.
"Issues? Yes, I have issues!" you yelled out to him, your words quickly loosing their power as you began to hear someone's heels approach the room, it was almost as if you could feel her.
You turned around, your body feeling weak as you recognized those piercing eyes that would still haunt your dreams.
"Angel?"