Warning: one word, sad.
You wanted to run up to him and smoother him with kisses and hold him tight in your arms, but you held yourself back, afraid about what the team might think. You knew they would be happy, but he just came back. You didn't wanna outshine his return by confessing your secret relationship.
He opened his arms and walked towards the team, he first went to Morgan and squeezed him tight.
Then, he went towards Emily, then JJ, Rossi, and Garcia. "Awwe, he saved me for last" you told yourself as your turn to give him a hug was approaching. You were ready to embrace him and had a stupid smile on your face, but when it was finally your turn to welcome him back and opened your arms to him, he looked at you up and down with a disgusted face and turned around.
"What the fuck?" you thought to yourself as he began to speak with his back facing you.
"I would like to thank all of you guys, I know you worked hard for my release. I love you all so much!" he said as he opened up his arms once more to have a group hug. With his back still facing you, you watched as the whole team hugged each other.
You felt your bottom lip tremble, that was such a dick move. You didn't even try to ridicule yourself ny trying to get in on the hug he clearly didnt want you to be a part off. You opened the door and walked out, slamming it a bit harder than you intended too.
Not giving a fuck, you walked down to the bullpen, grabbing your things and walking out of the BAU lobby. Why the fuck did he do that shit, he knew you hated stuff like that. So passive agressive. You even thought to yourself that maybe you were crazy, maybe you just misunderstood why he didnt hug you. But no, you saw the face he made when he saw you directly, he knew exactly what he was doing.
You made your way to your car and speeded off into the highway, you became angry at the little stunt he pulled. You felt embarrassed at the fact that the team surely saw it, they were profilers for gods sake, of course they saw.
You made your way to your apartment and slammed the door shut, feeling as your phone kept buzzing non-stop since you left the Bureau.
Garcia Is Calling....
You looked at the screen and contemplated answering, but you just couldn't bring yourself to talk to anyone right know. You were so angry that you waited for him day and night, crying for him even, and he does that. You wondered why he did it, was it because you didnt answer his letters. Is that why he was acting like an ass.
You began to calm down, maybe he will explain later. You didn't think he would be that petty, or was he?
You decided to take a shower to relax, looking at your phone once more before you stepped in.
Penny - Missed Calls (3)
Emily - Missed Calls (4)
Hotch - Missed Calls (6)
You decided to call Hotch back and told him you just felt sick, he reminded you that you shouldn't be alone and made you promise that you would call someone to stay with you. You agreed and hung up.
You sighed as you began to look for one of your waterproof speakers, deciding that singing in the shower was the way you were going to relax today. You took off all your clothe and started up the shower. Stepping in after having put your spotify on shuffle play.
You were having a good time just singing and forgetting about everything, you honestly felt so relaxed and like you were in a concert.
You began to dance and jump around as All I Wanted by Paramore began to boom through the small speaker, the lead vocalist giving you the seratonin you needed in this troubling time.
"ALL I WANTED WAS YOUU!" you yelled out as you were lathering the shampoo in your hair. You continued to sing as you got your loofa and poured your mango scented body wash on it, taking your time and spending a little too much time smelling it. You finished up and patted yourself dry, bringing the speaker to your room to continue your little party.
You changed into some shorts and a oversized hoodie that you had bought at a thrift store. It was yellow and always boosted your mood when you wore it, so you brought it out today. You walked over to your living room and sat on the couch, turning on the tv so you could catch up on some Bridgerton.
You felt your phone ring once again, this time you couldn't help but answer. It was Spencer.
"Hello?" you spoke into the phone, sounding angry as you remembered what happened earlier.
"Im outside!" he exclaimed, sounding eager.
You got up and walked up to your door, you took in a deep breath as you began to unlock your door. You saw Spencer standing there, he looked like he had just been crying.
"What do you want?" you asked acting distant, you knew he just got out of prison, and he was probably traumatized. So, maybe he had a good explanation for the way he acted, at least that's what you thought he came for, to explain, but you were wrong.
"I need to talk to you."
"Is it about why you completely dismissed me this morning? Because if its not I dont want to hear it!"
"No, it's something more important" he began to look down at the ground, playing with the button of his sleeve.
"Umm, okay. Come in."
He walked inside, very awkwardly. He walked in as if he had never been in your apartment before. You sat down on your couch and patted the seat next to you, waiting patiently as he took his time doing so.
He finally walked over and sat beside you, still avoiding your gaze.
"Spencie, whats wrong?" you whisper as you reach out to cuo his cheek, he stops you from doing so with his hand. You were shocked by his action, he loved it when you touch him like that, he had said so himself.
"Y/N, I- Im just going to get right to the point" he said and cleared his throat, you could hear his rspid heart best as he tried to find his next words.
"I- I don't think you and I should be together anymore...."
Your concerned face immediately switched to one of confusion, this was totally out of the blue. You expected him to be mad at you for not visiting or writing back, but enough to break up with you?
"What?" you whispered as tears threatened to fall, you started take in deep breaths to prevent yourself from going into a sob.
"Look Y/N, I just- I cant be with you right now. I need time to be alone and think about myself." He began to reach for your hand, you quickly backed away from him, not wanting his comfort at all.
"I understand" you said while standing up and walking back and forth in your living room.
"Y/N, I still love you but I just dont think it would be fair to us if everything was about me and my problems. I hope we can still be friends, like we used to!" he said with a smile, trying to convince you that it was for the best. But that phrase, "we can still be friends." It ignited something in you, making your sadness quickly turn into anger.
"Friends? From today forward, you and I are nothing" you said as you turned around and looked him in the eye. You didnt want to be friends with him, you thought you were gonna marry him for gods sake. You could never be just friends with him, even if you tried.
You knew you were being unfair, his reason was completely valid, but it didnt make it hurt any less.
"Y/N, I know your angry but please dont be like that" he whispered as he stood up and walked towards you, holding you by your arms as you tried to walk away.
"Like what? You're the one that's breaking up with me. You dont get to decide how I choose to cope, and the way I choose to cope is to completely and utterly ignore the very fact that you even exist."
"Y/N...."
You put your hand up, signaling that you had heard enough.
"I believe that this conversation is over, Dr. Reid. You should go" you said as you began to walk towards the door, opening it and waiting for him to walk out.
"Fine! If thats what you wish" he said in a almost betrayed tone, he walked out and you shut the door as loud as possible.
You put your back on the door and tried to process what just happened. If this was a tv show, you would call yourself selfish. He just wants time for himself, but then he confesses that he still loves you. You were just upset that all the happiness you two had was taken away so quickly, you didnt even have time to truly enjoy it. You slid down to the ground and pulled your knees up to your face, nuzzling in them as you began to sob. You really thought he was the one, but you shouldve seen this coming.
How silly of you to think that you could have a happily ever after, not after what you did to get here, it was just your karma catching up to you.
"I deserve this" you thought to yourself as you cried on the cold floor of your apartment.